Description:''
It was just Tommy
Shannon's luck that Gretchen Schwartz was receiving communion the
morning he made his debut as an altar boy. He knew he was in trouble
when he saw her kneeling at the communion railing without a stitch on.
Everyone else at Mass that morning saw Gretchen Schwartz as acne-ridden,
buck-toothed, and fully clothed. But to Tommy, Gretchen was forever
naked, for Tommy Shannon had the richest, fullest, most erotic fantasy
life of any thirteen-year old boy who ever went to St. Procopius.
Getting a ”good Catholic education” in Dubuque, lowa, brought Tommy a
series of awesome confrontations: with Sister Raphael (Steiglutz, the
Mad Bitch of Berchsdorff); Father Grundy (the kindly old priest who
administered the hardest blow Tommy ever suffered from a member of the
religious orders); Hank Clancy (who felt dishonored by Tommy's method of
celebrating the Mass); and Sister Mary Don Bosco (who feared Tommy
would burn in the flames of hell and disgrace the school by committing
suicide).
Woven into this hilarious spate of boyhood
misadventures is the dramatic story of Pfc. Paul Shannon, Tommy's big
brother, ”who had swept across North Africa, captured Sicily, and was
now occupying Naples with Mark Clark and the rest of the United States
Fifth Army.” lt was Paul's painful discovery of manhood and his poignant
homecoming that changed Tommy's carefree, mischievous life.