Mature Friendships, Love, and Romance: A Practical Guide to Intimacy for Older Adults

215 Pages·2010·0.83 MB·English

by  Morley D. Glicken

Mature Friendships, Love,
and Romance
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Mature Friendships,
Love, and Romance
A Practical Guide to Intimacy
for Older Adults
MORLEY D. GLICKEN
Copyright2010byMorleyD.Glicken
Allrightsreserved.Nopartofthispublicationmaybereproduced,storedina
retrievalsystem,ortransmitted,inanyformorbyanymeans,electronic,mechanical,
photocopying,recording,orotherwise,exceptfortheinclusionofbriefquotationsina
review,withoutpriorpermissioninwritingfromthepublisher.
LibraryofCongressCataloging-in-PublicationData
Glicken,MorleyD.
Maturefriendships,love,andromance:apracticalguidetointimacyforolder
adults/MorleyD.Glicken.
p.cm.
Includesbibliographicalreferencesandindex.
ISBN978–0–313–38242–0(hbk.:alk.paper)—ISBN978–0–313–38243–7
(ebook)
1. Loveinoldage.2. Olderpeople—Psychology.3. Intimacy(Psychology)
I.Title.
HQ1061.G583 2010
155.67—dc22 2010000165
ISBN:978–0–313–38242–0
EISBN:978–0–313–38243–7
14 13 12 11 10 1 2 3 4 5
ThisbookisalsoavailableontheWorldWideWebasaneBook.
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Praeger
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Thisbookisprintedonacid-freepaper
ManufacturedintheUnitedStatesofAmerica
PortionsofthistextwerepublishedinEvidence-BasedCounselingandPsychotherapyfor
anAgingPopulation,byMorleyD.Glicken,pages132–134,361–362,and377–379.
CopyrightElsevier(2009).
This book is dedicated to myparents, SamandRose Glicken,
who wereloving and tenderwith one anotherand
with theirchildren, throughgood and badtimes,
and whomodeled maturelove in everyway imaginable
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Contents
Preface ix
Acknowledgments xi
Chapter 1 Love,Intimacy, Family,and Friendships 1
inaTime of Ageism
Chapter 2 MatureLove 9
Chapter 3 UnderstandingMen andTheir Relationship 21
Problems
Chapter 4 EnjoyingOlder AdultSexuality 43
Chapter 5 CopingwithLater-Life Divorcesand Breakups 53
Chapter 6 CopingwithSerious Illnessandthe Death 67
of aLoved One
Chapter 7 Single andSometimesLonely: Good Friendsand 79
LoversCan Help
Chapter 8 Friendsor Just Acquaintances 87
Chapter 9 ResolvingProblems withChildrenand Family 95
Members
Chapter 10 Involving Loved Onesin RetirementDecisions 105
Chapter 11 Work and Volunteeringafter Retirement 121
to Increase FriendshipPools and Meet
PotentialMates
viii Contents
Chapter12 WhereYou Liveas an Older Adult Can Make 131
a Difference
Chapter13 StayingHealthy 141
Chapter14 Dealing withLater-Life Anxietyand Depression 153
Chapter15 Older Adults WhoAbuse Alcohol andDrugs 167
Chapter16 DangerousPeople: Menand WomenWho Are 185
Physically andEmotionally Abusive
Chapter17 TheRoad LessTraveled:Making theMost 191
of Love, Family,and Friends
Index 197
About theAuthor 201
Preface
Thisisabookforolderadultswhowanttoresolveissuesofintimacy,
romance,andfriendshipsanddeveloppositiverelationshipswiththeir
children and family members. It is a serious book because the subject
is a serious one. Love is life-sustaining. Romance is just as vital to
olderpeopleasittoyoungerpeople,andloneliness,asweagewithout
goodfriendsandpositiverelationshipswithourfamiliesandchildren,
is everythingit’scracked upto be.
As I began researching what others had written about older adult
relationships, I found that almost all of it was about sex. The few
booksIfoundonrelationshipswithfamilyandchildrenwereoftenfull
ofpsychobabbleandsillyadvice.Howseriouscanbooksbewithtitles
likeTheJuicyTomatoesGuidetoRipeLivingAfter50;HowNottoBecome
a Little Old Lady; Juicy Tomatoes: Plain Truths, Dumb Lies, and Sisterly
Advice About Life After 50; Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk
About SexAfter Sixty,and Icould go on.
I’m 69 and I think I know something about every aspect of what
thisbookwillcoverfrommyownlifeexperiences.I’vealsobeenasocial
work practitioner working with older adults and a professor of social
worktraininggraduatestudentstoworkwitholderadults.Fromthese
experiencesIcantellyouthatrelationshipsaretremendouslyimportant
topeopleasweage.Asaresult,IpromiseIwon’tapproachtheneedfor
healthyandlife-enhancingrelationshipsinafrivolousway.
I hope you will find this book to be a wealth of information, easily
written, and filled with stories from older adults about their relation-
ships,goodandbad.Thestoriescomefromrealolderpeoplewhohave
something to say. I’ve asked them to write honestly about themselves