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Mature Friendships, Love, and Romance: A Practical Guide to Intimacy for Older Adults PDF

215 Pages·2010·0.83 MB·English
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Mature Friendships, Love, and Romance This page intentionally left blank Mature Friendships, Love, and Romance A Practical Guide to Intimacy for Older Adults MORLEY D. GLICKEN Copyright2010byMorleyD.Glicken Allrightsreserved.Nopartofthispublicationmaybereproduced,storedina retrievalsystem,ortransmitted,inanyformorbyanymeans,electronic,mechanical, photocopying,recording,orotherwise,exceptfortheinclusionofbriefquotationsina review,withoutpriorpermissioninwritingfromthepublisher. LibraryofCongressCataloging-in-PublicationData Glicken,MorleyD. Maturefriendships,love,andromance:apracticalguidetointimacyforolder adults/MorleyD.Glicken. p.cm. Includesbibliographicalreferencesandindex. ISBN978–0–313–38242–0(hbk.:alk.paper)—ISBN978–0–313–38243–7 (ebook) 1. Loveinoldage.2. Olderpeople—Psychology.3. Intimacy(Psychology) I.Title. HQ1061.G583 2010 155.67—dc22 2010000165 ISBN:978–0–313–38242–0 EISBN:978–0–313–38243–7 14 13 12 11 10 1 2 3 4 5 ThisbookisalsoavailableontheWorldWideWebasaneBook. Visitwww.abc-clio.comfordetails. Praeger AnImprintofABC-CLIO,LLC ABC-CLIO,LLC 130CremonaDrive,P.O.Box1911 SantaBarbara,California93116-1911 Thisbookisprintedonacid-freepaper ManufacturedintheUnitedStatesofAmerica PortionsofthistextwerepublishedinEvidence-BasedCounselingandPsychotherapyfor anAgingPopulation,byMorleyD.Glicken,pages132–134,361–362,and377–379. CopyrightElsevier(2009). This book is dedicated to myparents, SamandRose Glicken, who wereloving and tenderwith one anotherand with theirchildren, throughgood and badtimes, and whomodeled maturelove in everyway imaginable This page intentionally left blank Contents Preface ix Acknowledgments xi Chapter 1 Love,Intimacy, Family,and Friendships 1 inaTime of Ageism Chapter 2 MatureLove 9 Chapter 3 UnderstandingMen andTheir Relationship 21 Problems Chapter 4 EnjoyingOlder AdultSexuality 43 Chapter 5 CopingwithLater-Life Divorcesand Breakups 53 Chapter 6 CopingwithSerious Illnessandthe Death 67 of aLoved One Chapter 7 Single andSometimesLonely: Good Friendsand 79 LoversCan Help Chapter 8 Friendsor Just Acquaintances 87 Chapter 9 ResolvingProblems withChildrenand Family 95 Members Chapter 10 Involving Loved Onesin RetirementDecisions 105 Chapter 11 Work and Volunteeringafter Retirement 121 to Increase FriendshipPools and Meet PotentialMates viii Contents Chapter12 WhereYou Liveas an Older Adult Can Make 131 a Difference Chapter13 StayingHealthy 141 Chapter14 Dealing withLater-Life Anxietyand Depression 153 Chapter15 Older Adults WhoAbuse Alcohol andDrugs 167 Chapter16 DangerousPeople: Menand WomenWho Are 185 Physically andEmotionally Abusive Chapter17 TheRoad LessTraveled:Making theMost 191 of Love, Family,and Friends Index 197 About theAuthor 201 Preface Thisisabookforolderadultswhowanttoresolveissuesofintimacy, romance,andfriendshipsanddeveloppositiverelationshipswiththeir children and family members. It is a serious book because the subject is a serious one. Love is life-sustaining. Romance is just as vital to olderpeopleasittoyoungerpeople,andloneliness,asweagewithout goodfriendsandpositiverelationshipswithourfamiliesandchildren, is everythingit’scracked upto be. As I began researching what others had written about older adult relationships, I found that almost all of it was about sex. The few booksIfoundonrelationshipswithfamilyandchildrenwereoftenfull ofpsychobabbleandsillyadvice.Howseriouscanbooksbewithtitles likeTheJuicyTomatoesGuidetoRipeLivingAfter50;HowNottoBecome a Little Old Lady; Juicy Tomatoes: Plain Truths, Dumb Lies, and Sisterly Advice About Life After 50; Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk About SexAfter Sixty,and Icould go on. I’m 69 and I think I know something about every aspect of what thisbookwillcoverfrommyownlifeexperiences.I’vealsobeenasocial work practitioner working with older adults and a professor of social worktraininggraduatestudentstoworkwitholderadults.Fromthese experiencesIcantellyouthatrelationshipsaretremendouslyimportant topeopleasweage.Asaresult,IpromiseIwon’tapproachtheneedfor healthyandlife-enhancingrelationshipsinafrivolousway. I hope you will find this book to be a wealth of information, easily written, and filled with stories from older adults about their relation- ships,goodandbad.Thestoriescomefromrealolderpeoplewhohave something to say. I’ve asked them to write honestly about themselves

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Written to appeal to men as well as women, Mature Friendships, Love, and Romance: A Practical Guide to Intimacy for Older Adults is a serious book about love, romance, intimacy, and sexuality, as well as friendship and family. It is about what happens when older adults lack close relationships and a
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