M asculinities, Care and Equality G enders and Sexualities in the Social Sciences S eries Editors: V ictoria R obinson, University of Sheffield, UK and Diane Richardson, University of Newcastle, UK E ditorial Board: Raewyn Connell, University of Sydney, Australia, K athy Davis, Utrecht University, The Netherlands, S tevi Jackson, University of York, UK , Michael Kimmel, State University of New York, Stony Brook, USA, Kimiko Kimoto, Hitotsubashi University, Japan, Jasbir Puar, Rutgers University, USA, Steven Seidman, State University of New York, Albany, USA, C arol Smart, University of Manchester, UK, L iz Stanley, University of Edinburgh, UK, Gill Valentine, University of Leeds, UK, Jeffrey Weeks, South Bank University, UK, Kath Woodward, The Open University, UK T itles include: N iall Hanlon M ASCULINITIES, CARE AND EQUALITY I dentity and Nurture in Men’s Lives S ally Hines and Yvette Taylor (e ditors) S EXUALITIES P ast Reflections, Future Directions V ictoria Robinson and Jenny Hockey M ASCULINITIES IN TRANSITION Y vette Taylor, Sally Hines and Mark E. Casey (e ditors) T HEORIZING INTERSECTIONALITY AND SEXUALITY S . Hines and Y. Taylor (e ditors) S EXUALITIES: PAST REFLECTIONS, FUTURE DIRECTIONS G enders and Sexualities in the Social Sciences S eries Standing Order ISBN 978–0–230–27254–5 hardback 9 78–0–230–27255–2 paperback ( outside North America only) Y ou can receive future titles in this series as they are published by placing a standing order. Please contact your bookseller or, in case of difficulty, write to us at the address below with your name and address, the title of the series and one of the ISBNs quoted above. C ustomer Services Department, Macmillan Distribution Ltd, Houndmills, Basingstoke, Hampshire RG21 6XS, England M asculinities, Care and Equality I dentity and Nurture in Men’s Lives N iall H anlon D ublin Business School, Ireland © Niall Hanlon 2012 Softcover reprint of the hardcover 1st edition 2012 978-0-230-30021-7 A ll rights reserved. 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A catalog record for this book is available from the Library of Congress. 1 0 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 2 1 20 19 18 17 16 15 14 13 12 F or Emily, Hazel and Rowan C ontents P reface and Acknowledgements v iii 1 C are in Masculinities Studies 1 2 G endered Care Practices 29 3 M asculinities and Care 4 3 4 M asculinities and Emotions 6 6 5 N urturing Femininities 91 6 B readwinner Masculinities 1 09 7 N urturing Masculinities 131 8 C hildhood Care Stories 157 9 C are-Free Masculinities 177 1 0 C are-Full Masculinities 197 1 1 T owards Affective Equality 2 14 R eferences 2 20 I ndex 2 53 vii P reface and Acknowledgements I t is probably no exaggeration to say I began writing this book long before it was ever conceived as a research project. The central role of care in social life, the way it is organised and practiced, how it affects our lives, and especially its gendered nature, have occupied me since my youth. The process of writing this book has proven a cumulative reflective process that has challenged me academically and person- ally. Growing up in Irish society with five brothers, one of whom was severely physically and intellectually disabled, within the context of a conservative and patriarchal society wherein women were expected to be primary carers, and men to be primary breadwinners, left me with the strong sense of how closely interrelated that personal domain of care is with social justice. Personally I recall an overwhelming sense of how isolated, overburdened, and powerless women could find them- selves feeling when faced with the imperative to care in the absence of equal rights and opportunities. However, this appreciation of the gender oppression could never obliterate the sense that men too, despite the system supporting their higher status, power, and access to resources, could be trapped by gendered expectations and prohibitions. T he last three decades of the twentieth century saw major social t ransformations in the political and social climate in Ireland as key battles over sexual morality and intimate family life convulsed the established gender order. Pressed by irrefutable demands for change from within the society as well as the external carrot-and-stick approach of the European economic project, an intensely conservative gendered society slowly and reluctantly began to liberalise by granting greater rights and freedom to women. Many women entered the world of paid work but there was, however, little political will among society at large to seriously consider how care-work between men and women might be redistributed. Yet greater gender-equal working relations raised questions about the private sphere and who would fill the care gap. Certainly, men were not rushing to do so! In fact, in marked contrast to any semblance of new man discourse, insidious revelations began to creep into the public domain about the puritanical authoritarianism, moral hypocrisy, and sexual crimes of the patriarchal Catholic Church which, since the foundation of the Irish state, had monopolised a moral and political hold on the caring institutions of society. The relationship viii Preface and Acknowledgements ix between men and care became increasingly problematic as men seemed to be either absent from care or abusive when doing so! For its part, the State appeared to be complicit with oppression or at least incompetent or inept at meeting the goals of gender equality. It seemed clear to me how the State on the whole represented the views and values of conser- vative men. T hese issues raised profound questions about the nature of care in Irish society. Why should men not be expected to undertake a fair share of care-work and why should they not reap the emotional benefits that can be gained from doing so? My initial attempt to find answers led me to pursue a career in the female-dominated world of social care. Out of 40 or so undergraduates three of us were men, and although I felt quite comfortable in this grouping among women I recall one of these men clinging to me with trepidation, desperately needy for male company and affirmation. Experiences like these made me realise how social care-work was gendered just like society at large and after spending four years studying Applied Social Studies I had learned virtually nothing about the relationship between gender and care. My hunger to find answers directed me towards a Master’s and eventually a PhD programme in Equality Studies at the School of Social Justice in University College Dublin. Here I learned about gender, feminism, and masculinities and found conceptual tools to name care as a social good and a generative source of inequality itself. Every angle from which I have studied gender has brought me back to the intersection between power and care, dominance and emotions, the political and the personal. Feminism, and critical studies of men and masculinities, has alerted me to the power relations embedded in social life. It made me realise how this way of studying gender is both fundamental and incomplete. This book is an exploration of the relationship between masculinities, care, and equality and above all how men think and feel about care and equality as men. I hope it can make a small contribution to a complex and often controversial debate. T he reflective process of writing this book was at least as insightful as the analysis of the data itself. Although I had plenty of experience of working in the care field before embarking on the book, during its production I became the parent of two children. And, despite having read hundreds of texts on care, my belief that reading is no compensation for experience has been much strengthened. It has also reminded me of how much work and sacrifice my own parents made in raising me and my brothers and for that I am truly grateful. My personal faithfulness to gender equality in personal life has been challenged by the intense