Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage: Professional Practice in the Hong Kong Cultural Context

319 Pages·2010·5.12 MB·English

by  Katherine P. H. Young & Anita Y. L. Fok

Marriage, Divorc e
and Remarriag e
Hong Kong University Press thanks Xu Bing for writing the Press's name in his
Square Word Calligraphy for the covers of its books. For further information, see
p. iv.
The contributors to this volume are:
Cecilia Lai-Wan CHAN
Grace Mi-Har CHAN
Anita Yuk-Lin FOK
Shirley Suet-Lin HUNG
Winnie Wai-Ming KUNG
Roger Wai-Hong KWAN
LAM Chiu Wan
LAM Wai Man
Natalie Kin-Wai LAW
Timothy Yuk-Ki LEUNG
Laurene Lai-Ping MAN
Monica Lai-Tuen NG
Lianne Yau-Yee TAI
Julia Lai Po-Wah TAO
WONG Lai-Cheung
Ivan Yau-Tat YU
YEUNG Ka-Ching
Katherine Pui-Ha YOUNG
Marriage, Divorc e
and Remarriag e
Professional Practic e in th e
Hong Kon g Cultural Contex t
Edited by
Katherine P.H. Young and Anita Y.L. Fok
# Sf c *, * i t HB . *t
HONG KONG UNIVERSITY PRESS
Hong Kong University Press
14/FHingWai Centr e
7 Tin Wan Praya Road
Aberdeen
Hong Kong
© Hong Kong University Press 2005
ISBN 962 209 741 3
All rights reserved. No portion of this publication may be reproduced
or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical,
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Printed and bound by Liang Yu Printing Factory Limited, Hong Kong, China.
Hong Kong University Press is honoured that Xu Bing, whose art
explores the complex themes of language across cultures, has
written the Press's name in his Square Word Calligraphy This signals
our commitment to cross-cultural thinking and the distinctive
H nature of our English-language books published in China.
"At first glance, Square Word Calligraphy appears to be nothing
more unusual than Chinese characters, but in fact it is a new way
of rendering English words in the format of a square so they
resemble Chinese characters. Chinese viewers expect to be able to
read Square Word Calligraphy but cannot. Western viewers,
however are surprised to find they can read it. Delight erupts when
meaning is unexpectedly revealed/'
— Britta Erickson, The Art ofXu Bing
Contents
Foreword vi i
Preface i x
Acknowledgements x v
Contributors xvi i
1. Rethinkin g Marriage 1
Katherine P.H. Young
2. Discoverin g the Spouse's Other-ness through 1 7
Family-of-Origin Explorations and Reinventing
Partnerships in Marriage
Laurene L.P. Man and Natalie K.W. Law
3. Long-ter m After-effects o f Childhood Sexual Abuse 4 5
on Married Life: Implications for Practice
Grace M.H. Chan
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4. Tacklin g the Intrinsic Dilemma in Marital Infidelity 6 7
Anita Y.L. Fok
5. Forgivenes s in Marriage 9 1
Wong Lai Cheung
6. Reachin g the ''Point of No Return": Tracking the 11 9
Pathway to Making the Decision to Divorce
Anita Y.L. Fok
7. Rediscover y of the "Self": Culturally Sensitive 14 3
Intervention for Chinese Divorced Women
Cecilia L.W. Chan, Shirley S.L. Hung, Winnie W Rung
8. Ambivalen t Exit and Ambiguous Entry: Ten Hong Kong 16 9
Men's Perceptions of Spousal Relationships In and Out
of Marriage
Roger W.H. Kwan
9. Th e Making of a Second Spring: The Experiences of 19 1
Remarried Persons in Hong Kong
Lianne Y.Y. Tai
10. Gende r Considerations in Couple Work: Reflections 22 1
from Social Workers Involved in Marriage Counselling
Timothy YK. Leung, Monica L.T. Ng, Yeung Ka Ching,
Ivan T.Y Yau
11. Th e Changing Nature and Ideology of Marriage in 24 3
Hong Kong
Lam Chiu Wan, Lam Wai Man, Timothy YK. Leung
12. Reconstruction of Traditional Values for Culturally 26 7
Sensitive Practice
Julia Tao Lai Poh-Wah
Index 291
Foreword
The impact of globalisation in recent years, and its consequent increases
in population an d labou r mobility, longer working hours, unstabl e
employment pattern s and diversified lifestyles , has posed formidabl e
challenges to the stability and solidarity of family life in Hong Kong. In
this process, we have seen traditional family values steadily and rapidly
undermined b y seemingly irreversible trends of rising divorces rates,
family violence and declining marriage rates and fertility. Family problems
have becom e distressingl y familiar , bu t polic y an d professiona l
intervention to support families can vary significantly from country to
country, mainl y due to the differences i n cultural traditions and th e
socio-economic situation . Ove r the last decade, there has been a n
increasing recognitio n o f the importance of culturally sensitive an d
evidence-based family social work practice. At the same time, there has
been a growing concern to support marriages and minimise the social
costs of divorce.
Katherine Young is known for her work on the theory, practice and
research of family social work. Even after retirement, she has remained
ardently committed to championing the development of evidence-based
and culturally sensitive family social work practice in Hong Kong. This
was clearly evident at the Symposium on Chinese Culture and Social
Work Practice organised by the Department of Social Work and Social
Administration a t the University of Hong Kong. At the Symposium ,
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Mrs Young and a number o f prominent academics , supervisors an d
practitioners i n the field made a series of presentations focusin g o n
innovations in family intervention and clinical practice. Now, with Anita
Fok, she has edited a small collection of clinical and research wor k
reflecting curren t professiona l practic e an d concern s o f the ne w
millennium in Hong Kong, and published them in this book. The articles
clearly show that family issues have become more complex. The question
of how socia l workers ca n strengthen familie s an d marriages , an d
empower families to face a changing environment, has become a matter
of foremost concern. With rising divorce rates, Hong Kong is inevitably
moving towards a "divorce culture", in which "marriag e is an option ,
marriage is contingent on the partners meeting each other's needs, and
divorce is a gateway to a new life". Ye t marriage and happy family life is
still considered the foremost "social resource to be prized and protected".
Based on a systemic perspective, the contributors acknowledge and respect
the family' s strengths, culture and ability to make decisions that ar e
appropriate for the family. Facing a wide array of dilemmas and tensions
involved i n family intervention , practitioner s hav e to revie w thei r
expectations and aspirations regarding how to strengthen or reinstate a
marriage culture in Hong Kong. As advocated by the editors, therapeutic
intervention i s seen a s a value-guided proces s o f explorin g an d
constructing meanings for life experiences. Practitioners should have a
clear perception of their own values and beliefs, so that they can avoid
the danger of imposing their views and meanings on their clients during
the intervention process. Through this "discovery" process of searching
for meaning, people can achieve personal growth and rebuild the self.
It is clear that this publication will stimulate further dialogue and
reflection in the field, so that a more consolidated practice in marital work
can emerge. I am convinced that this book will be a milestone in knowledge-
building in the field of family practice in Hong Kong and Chinese society.
Indeed, this book will become a benchmark reference work for the further
exploration int o the concepts, meanings an d practice of marriag e
counselling and divorce mediation. More importantly, the views and
findings can re-examine our beliefs, aspirations and culture of marriage
and family in Hong Kong as well as in other Chinese communities.
loe Leung
Head
Department of Social Work and Social Administration
The University of Hong Kong
September 2004
Preface
The idea for this book emerged from the Symposium on Chinese Culture
and Social Work Practice held at the University of Hong Kong. During the
Symposium, it became clear that a great deal of innovative clinical work
and interesting small research studies were being carried out, which could
be collected and shared, to arouse further questioning and enquiry. Our
hope was to create a debate among practising professionals working in
marriage counselling and divorce mediation, and with students in training
who could be stimulated to find out more.
Many areas of concentration were proposed. It was eventually decided
that this publication should focus on marriage, divorce and remarriage.
It seems likely that, in the years to come, adult fulfillment is likely to be
found in varying ways: for some through marriage, some through divorce,
some through remarriage, and some through the single state. Each of
these has its own potentials, tensions, and prospects for growth an d
development; each offers different though viable lifestyles through which
people can develop in adulthood.
Encouraging Dialogue and Debate
While we hope that this collection will create a dialogue over clinical
practice in marital work, it is also an attempt to encourage debate o n