Man, Interrupted: Why Young Men are Struggling & What We Can Do About It

335 Pages·2016·2.73 MB·English

by  Philip Zimbardo

Praise for Man, Interrupted
“With this title, Zimbardo and Coulombe not only prove that men are struggling
in the dark and falling through cracks on the floor, they also help us turn on the
lights and show us how to start fixing the floor.”
—Foreword

“In this entertaining, sobering, and thought-provoking book, Dr. Zimbardo
bravely and wisely calls attention to the spreading crisis afflicting many of
America's young men.”
—Roy Baumeister, author of Is There Anything Good About Men? and
Willpower

“Man, Interrupted is the most important book I've read in years, given that it is
thoroughly researched, well organized, beautifully written, and outlines a
problem that effects at least half the population of the country, if not everyone.
Even more, it identifies the causes and suggests practical solutions. This book
should be read by legislators, judges, politicians, parents, spouses and, well,
men . . . all of them.”
—Michael Shermer, publisher of Skeptic magazine; columnist at Scientific
American; and author of The Moral Arc

“. . . a compassionate look at the phenomenon of young men disappearing into
the virtual worlds of video gaming and porn—to the detriment of everyone.
Authors Zimbardo and Coulombe don't simply supply evidence of the risks and
benefits of today's hyper-alluring technologies. They also tackle contributing
factors, such as absent dads, failing schools, environmental toxins, economic
realities, etc., and offer a range of suggestions for parents, media, governments,
men, women, and schools.”
—Gary Wilson, author of Your Brain on Porn: Internet Pornography and the
Emerging Science of Addiction

This edition first published in 2016 by Conari Press, an imprint of Red
Wheel/Weiser, LLC
With offices at:
65 Parker Street, Suite 7
Newburyport, MA 01950
www.redwheelweiser.com

Copyright © 2016 by Philip Zimbardo and Nikita D. Coulombe All rights
reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any
form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying,
recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without
permission in writing from Red Wheel/Weiser, LLC. Reviewers may quote brief
passages. Previously published in 2015 as Man (Dis)connected by Rider, an
imprint of Ebury Publishing, ISBN: 9781846044847.

ISBN: 978-1-57324689-7

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Names: Zimbardo, Philip G., author. | Coulombe, Nikita D., author.
Title: Man, interrupted : why young men are struggling and what we can do
about it / Philip Zimbardo and Nikita Coulombe.
Other titles: Man (dis)connected Description: Newburyport, MA : Conari
Press, 2016. | “Previously published in 2015 as Man (Dis)connected by Rider,
an imprint of Ebury Publishing.”
Identifiers: LCCN 2015048616 | ISBN 9781573246897 (paperback) Subjects:
LCSH: Men. | Men—Social conditions—21st century. | Men—Identity. | Men
—Psychology. | Technology—Social aspects. | BISAC: PSYCHOLOGY /
Mental Health. | PSYCHOLOGY Developmental Adolescent.
Classification: LCC HQ1090 .Z545 2016 | DDC 305.31—dc23
LC record available at http://lccn.loc.gov/2015048616
Cover design by Jim Warner
Cover photograph © fStop images / Twins Interior by Jane Hagaman
Typeset in Bembo and Benton Sans
Printed in Canada
MAR
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

www.redwheelweiser.com
www.redwheelweiser.com/newsletter
To my grandchildren,
Philip (Panda) and Victoria Leigh (Bunny)
—Philip Zimbardo
To my husband, Chris, and three brothers: thank you for your support
—Nikita D. Coulombe
CONTENTS
Preface
Note to Readers
Acknowledgments
Introduction
Just Drifting
P I: S
ART YMPTOMS
1. Disenchantment with Education
2. Men Opting Out of the Workforce
3. Excessive Maleness
Social Intensity Syndrome (SIS)
4. Excessive Gaming
Mastering the Universe from Your Bedroom
5. Becoming Obese
6. Excessive Porn Use
Orgasms on Demand
7. High on Life or High on Anything
Over-Reliance on Medications and Illegal Drugs
P II: C
ART AUSES
8. Rudderless Families, Absent Dads
9. Failing Schools
10. Environmental Changes
11. Technology Enchantment and Arousal Addiction
12. Sour Grapes
Entitlement versus Reality
13. The Rise of Women?
14. Patriarchy Myths
15. Economic Downturn
P III S
ART OLUTIONS
16. What the Government Can Do
17. What Schools Can Do
18. What Parents Can Do
19. What Men Can Do
20. What Women Can Do
21. What the Media Can Do
Conclusion
Appendix I
TED Survey Results
Appendix II
Social Intensity Syndrome—Scale and Factors
Notes
Recommended Resources
Index
PREFACE
Note to Readers
Many trends are born and magnified in the tech-heavy San Francisco Bay area,
which is where we both lived when we started writing this book. There wasn't
one event that inspired the book's creation; rather it resembled a light rain that
slowly turned into a torrential downpour. While one of us had started clipping
articles out of the newspaper about boys' poor academic performance and
noticing the dwindling number of male graduate students in his class, the other
had started to notice her male peers crowding around computers and video
games at parties, rather than having conversations. We began to wonder why
more young men didn't care about getting their driving licenses, or moving out
of their parents' homes, and why they preferred to masturbate to porn than be
with a real woman. Down the rabbit hole we went.
Around the same time, I (Phil) was asked by the TED organization to give a
five-minute talk on a topic of my choosing. I wanted to discuss what we were
observing. At the end of my short but provocative TED Talk in 2011, I made
clear that my primary goal at the conference was to raise awareness and even
alarm people into action about an impending disaster. After the talk was greeted
with much enthusiasm, Nikita, already familiar with the issues as my assistant,
came on board and together we wrote a short TED eBook inspired by that talk
in 2012 called The Demise of Guys. Demise was a polemic meant to stimulate
controversy and conversation around these topics and encourage others to do
research on the different dimensions of these challenges.
Man, Interrupted is an elaboration of Demise that delves much deeper into
this important discussion about young men and the complex issues and
challenges they face. Man, Interrupted has also been restructured by symptoms,
causes, and solutions, making the issues easier for readers to understand and
navigate.
We felt it was important to approach the topics from multiple angles. This
book weaves together the perspectives of a young female, Nikita, who, as a
millennial, has grown up in the thick of changing technologies, and an older
male, Phil, who has an abundance of life experience, along with the views of
many young men and women, making it a unique collaboration. In order to
challenge our personal views, we developed a detailed online survey with a host