Lost in my mind: recovering from traumatic brain injury (TBI)

224 Pages·2014·3.7 MB·English

by  Darmofal, Kelly Bouldin

Praise for Lost in My Mind

“This peek into the real-life trials and triumphs of a young woman,
who survives a horrific car crash and struggles to regain academic
excellence and meaningful social relationships, is a worthwhile read for
anyone who needs information, inspiration, or escape from the isola-
tion so common after traumatic brain injury.”
Susan H. Connors, President/CEO,
Brain Injury Association of America
“Kelly Bouldin Darmofal showed me a world I had never experi-
enced. Knowing the challenges, the strengths, and the perspectives that
students with TBI bring to learning, I can be a better teacher for them.
I admire what Kelly has accomplished in her life and her book. Anyone
who cares about teaching and learning must read this remarkable
story.”
Louann Reid, Professor and Chair, Department of English,
Colorado State University, and former editor of English Journal

“Lost in My Mind is an exceptional, heart-rending account of one
young woman’s life suddenly transformed into a nightmare, and how
she overcame it… a bright, happy girl who, in one night, sustains a
Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) from a car accident, changing her life
forever. Kelly Darmofal’s book is a triumphant example of how the
human spirit can overcome life’s most serious challenges.”
Karen Ackerson, Executive Director of the Writer’s Workshop of
Asheville, NC, and founder of the Renbourne Literary Agency

“I will never forget the day I sat in Biology class, tears in my eyes as
the beautiful young girl stood in front of me telling her story of the car
accident that almost claimed her life. I sat in awe as she talked about
her recovery and her daily life, living with traumatic brain injury.
Inspired by her strength and encouraged by her perseverance and
determination, I had to meet this amazing girl! And she has been my
best friend ever since!
I was a pre-medical student, struggling to pay for college, working
full-time, and there were so many times I doubted myself, wanting to
quit. Kelly would not let that happen. Kelly was there for me every step
of the way, giving me encouragement, strength, and determination to
never give up. Those same characteristics Kelly needed to survive and
recover through her accident, she had given to me and made me who I
am today. The story of Kelly’s tragic accident, her struggle through
recovery, and her journey to succeed provides encouragement,
motivation, comfort, and strength not only for families and victims of
traumatic brain injury, but for all of us who have ever had an
incredible dream.”
Dr. Amanda Waugh Moy, Emergency Medicine
“Kelly Bouldin Darmofal’s account is unique, yet widely applicable:
she teaches any who have suffered TBI—and all who love, care for, and
teach them—insights that are not only novel but revolutionary.
1. Poetry of art and science. With her occasional poems, she opens a
window into her brain, revealing that language is sometimes at its best
when brief, incomplete, and thereby widely evocative of experience
that is irreducible to simple sentences. Her first poem after the injury—
spoken impromptu—is a gift to literati and scientists alike, who will
discover what they didn’t know about language and brain. Sometimes
sardonic, often subtle, her rhetoric is life-giving as well as life-
celebrating.
2. Theology. Like Job, she learned the hard lesson of a faith that
ultimately made her both “thankful to my non-intervening God,” as
she put it, and for that reason, resolute in becoming the person she
now is. Her experiences exemplify that providence can’t be preached—
to self or others—apart from persistent self-actualization.
3. Education. Warnings against inflexible educational bureaucracy
abound in her descriptions of narrow-minded teaching. Yet, she recog-
nizes good teaching so well that she becomes a teacher herself and
models what all teachers must emulate: respect for students as persons
in all their idiosyncratic potential. She understands mediocrity as the
great millstone around the neck of education.
The book is not simply worth reading; it is necessary reading for
patients, poets, professors, preachers, and teachers.”
Dr. Frank Balch Wood
(Frank Wood is professor emeritus of neurology-neuropsychology at
Wake Forest School of Medicine and an ordained Baptist minister.)
“Kelly was referred to me by her neurosurgeon who happened to be
a close friend of mine. His and her description of her traumatic injury
and the tenacity with which she fought to regain basic functional
abilities was impressive at that time. Her efforts since then should be
inspirational to us all. In short, one cannot measure her attributes of
determination and perseverance, spirit and courage, and willingness to
embrace the whole of life. The result of her efforts speaks for itself.”
Dr. James D. Mattox, Jr., M.D.
Diplomate American Board of Psychiatry and Neurology

LOST IN MY MIND:

Recovering from
Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI)

Kelly Bouldin Darmofal

M o d e r n H i s t o r y P r e s s
Lost In My Mind: Recovering from Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI)
Copyright © 2014 by Kelly Bouldin Darmofal. All Rights Reserved
Learn more at www.ImLostInMyMind.com
Published by
Modern History Press, an imprint of
Loving Healing Press
5145 Pontiac Trail
Ann Arbor, MI 48105
www.ModernHistoryPress.com
[email protected]
Tollfree USA/CAN: 888-761-6268
Fax: [phone]
Distributed by Ingram Book Group (USA/CAN), Bertram’s Books
(UK).
First Printing: November 2014

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Darmofal, Kelly Bouldin, 1977- author.
Lost in my mind : recovering from traumatic brain injury (TBI) / Kelly
Bouldin Darmofal.
p. ; cm. -- (Reflections of America)
Includes bibliographical references and index.
ISBN 978-1-61599-244-7 (pbk. : alk. paper) -- ISBN 978-1-61599-
245-4 (hardcover : alk. paper) -- ISBN 978-1-61599-246-1 (ebook)
I. Title. II. Series: Reflections of America series (Unnumbered)
[DNLM: 1. Brain Injuries--psychology. 2. Brain Injuries--
rehabilitation. 3. Personal Narratives. WL 354]
RC451.4.B73
617.4'81044--dc23
2014020907

Cover photo by David Amundson of Superieur Photographics
Oprah Winfrey photo courtesy of Salem College.
Glamour Shots Inc. photo reproduced with permission.
First Printing: November 2014
Dedication
I dedicate this book to my dear friend Britt Armfield, who died in a
car crash in June 1993 and continued to speak to me, and to Matt
Gfeller, who died of TBI while playing football in August of 2008. His
motto was “I won’t let you down,” and he didn’t.
My story is also dedicated to Carolyn and Robert Bouldin—and
especially to my patient husband Brad and to my son Alex, who have
both provided the happy ending.
I have a dream
To race the lightning
To be the best
To race the wind
I have a dream
To race the lightning
And win!

(Kelly Bouldin, age 10)
Contents
Poems .......................................................................................... ii 
Figures/Pictures ............................................................................ ii 
Foreword by Dr. David L. Kelly, Jr. M.D. .................................. iii 
Preface by Carolyn Bouldin ......................................................... v 
Prologue by Kelly Bouldin Darmofal ......................................... vii 
First Memories (Recorded By Carolyn Bouldin) .......................... ix 
Part One: Excerpts from My Mother’s Journal ................................ 1 
Chapter 1 - The Incident .............................................................. 3 
Chapter 2 - First Word .............................................................. 21 
Chapter 3 - Choosing a Rehabilitation Center ........................... 37 
Chapter 4 - Socially Inappropriate Behavior .............................. 51 
Chapter 5 - Uncle Jimmy '93 ..................................................... 71 
Chapter 6 - Sophomore Year - '93-'94 ....................................... 79 
Part Two: Kelly Speaks ................................................................ 93 
Chapter 7 - Going Back to School .............................................. 95 
Chapter 8 - Returning to a New Place ..................................... 103 
Chapter 9 - College Bound (1996) ........................................... 117 
Chapter 10 - Psyched Out ........................................................ 123 
Chapter 11 - Speaking and Acting Out .................................... 129 
Chapter 12 - On My Own ....................................................... 139 
Chapter 13 - Graduation and Employment .............................. 147 
Chapter 14 - The Master’s Degree: Prognosis and Possibilities . 157 
Chapter 15 - The TBI Epidemic Rages On ............................... 171 
Epilogue ................................................................................... 175 
Appendix: Study Guide and Activities ...................................... 191 
Acknowledgements .................................................................. 195 
Resources .................................................................................... 199 
Bibliography of Influential Books ............................................ 199 
Recommended Readings .......................................................... 201 
Index ....................................................................................... 203