Losing your pounds of pain : breaking the link between abuse, stress, and overeating

188 Pages·2006·0.98 MB·English

by  Virtue

Losing
Your
Pounds
Pain
of

Revised Edition
Also by Doreen Virtue, Ph.D.

Books/Kit/Oracle Board
DIVINE MAGIC
ANGEL PHOTOS
ANGELS 101
ANGEL GUIDANCE BOARD
GODDESSES & ANGELS
ANGEL NUMBERS 101
CRYSTAL THERAPY (with Judith Lukomski)
CONNECTING WITH YOUR ANGELS KIT (includes booklet, CD, journal, etc.)
ANGEL MEDICINE
THE CRYSTAL CHILDREN
ARCHANGELS & ASCENDED MASTERS
EARTH ANGELS
MESSAGES FROM YOUR ANGELS
ANGEL VISIONS II
EATING IN THE LIGHT (with Becky Prelitz, M.F.T., R.D.)
THE CARE AND FEEDING OF INDIGO CHILDREN
HEALING WITH THE FAIRIES
ANGEL VISIONS
DIVINE PRESCRIPTIONS
HEALING WITH THE ANGELS
“I’D CHANGE MY LIFE IF I HAD MORE TIME”
DIVINE GUIDANCE
CHAKRA CLEARING (available in tradepaper,
and as a hardcover book-with-CD)
ANGEL THERAPY
THE LIGHTWORKER’S WAY
CONSTANT CRAVING A–Z
CONSTANT CRAVING
THE YO-YO DIET SYNDROME

Audio/CD Programs
GODDESSES & ANGELS (abridged audio book)
ANGEL MEDICINE (available as both 1-and 2-CD sets)
ANGELS AMONG US (with Michael Toms)
MESSAGES FROM YOUR ANGELS (abridged audio book)
PAST-LIFE REGRESSION WITH THE ANGELS
DIVINE PRESCRIPTIONS
THE ROMANCE ANGELS
CONNECTING WITH YOUR ANGELS
MANIFESTING WITH THE ANGELS
KARMA RELEASING
HEALING YOUR APPETITE, HEALING YOUR LIFE
HEALING WITH THE ANGELS
DIVINE GUIDANCE
CHAKRA CLEARING

Oracle Cards (44 or 45 divination cards and guidebook)
HEALING WITH THE ANGELS ORACLE CARDS
HEALING WITH THE FAIRIES ORACLE CARDS
MESSAGES FROM YOUR ANGELS ORACLE CARDS (card deck and booklet)
MAGICAL MERMAIDS AND DOLPHINS ORACLE CARDS (card deck and
booklet)
ARCHANGEL ORACLE CARDS (card deck and booklet)
GODDESS GUIDANCE ORACLE CARDS (card deck and booklet)
MAGICAL UNICORNS ORACLE CARDS
SAINTS AND ANGELS ORACLE CARDS

All of the above are available at your local bookstore, or may be ordered by
visiting:
Hay House USA: www.hayhouse.com®; Hay House Australia:
www.hayhouse.com; www.hayhouse.com.au; Hay House UK:
www.hayhouse.co.uk; Hay House South Africa:
www.hayhouse.co.za; Hay House India: www.hayhouse.co.in

Doreen’s Website: www.AngelTherapy.com
Losing
Your
Pounds
Pain
of

Breaking the Link
Between Abuse, Stress,
and Overeating

Doreen Virtue, Ph.D.

HAY HOUSE, INC.
Carlsbad, California • New York City
London • Sydney • Johannesburg
Vancouver • Hong Kong • New Delhi
Copyright © 1994, 2002 by Doreen Virtue
Published and distributed in the United States by: Hay House, Inc.: www.hayhouse.com • Published
and distributed in Australia by: Hay House Australia Pty. Ltd.: www.hayhouse.com.au • Published and
distributed in the United Kingdom by: Hay House UK, Ltd.: www.hayhouse.co.uk • Published and
distributed in the Republic of South Africa by: Hay House SA (Pty), Ltd.: www.hayhouse.co.za •
Distributed in Canada by: Raincoast: www.raincoast.com • Published in India by: Hay House Publishers
India: www.hayhouse.co.in
Editorial supervision: Jill Kramer • Design: Jenny Richards
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced by any mechanical, photographic, or
electronic process, or in the form of a phonographic recording; nor may it be stored in a retrieval system,
transmitted, or otherwise be copied for public or private use—other than for “fair use” as brief quotations
embodied in articles and reviews—without prior written permission of the publisher.
The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any technique as a
form of treatment for physical or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or
indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest
for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself,
which is your constitutional right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.
Originally published by Hay House, Inc., August 1994.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Virtue, Doreen
Losing your pounds of pain : breaking the link between abuse, stress, and overeating/ Doreen Virtue. --
Rev. ed.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references and index.
ISBN 1-56170-950-6 (trade paper)
1. Compulsive eating. 2. Obesity--Psychological aspects. I. Title.
RC552.C65 V56 2002
616.85'26--dc21 2001052757
ISBN 13: 978-1-56170-950-2
ISBN 10: 1-56170-950-6
12 11 10 09 14 13 12 11
1st printing, Revised Edition, January 2002
11th printing, Revised Edition, August 2009
Printed in the United States of America
Cover art is a modified version of Elly Reeve's oil painting
"You Are Never Alone" (artist e-mail: [email protected])
To My Parents, Joan and Bill Hannan,
with love and appreciation
Contents

Preface
Acknowledgments
Part I: Understanding Your Pounds of Pain
Chapter 1: Beyond the Yo-Yo Syndrome
Chapter 2: Perfect Childhoods and Other Myths
Chapter 3: Breaking Out of Self-Made Prisons
Chapter 4: “Stop the World, I Want to Get Off!”: Stress and Stress Eating
Chapter 5: Playing Doctor Isn’t Child’s Play
Chapter 6: Unwanted Advances: Psychological Sexual Abuse
Chapter 7: Violated at Home
Chapter 8: Adolescent and Adulthood Sexual Traumas
Part II: Releasing Your Pounds of Pain
Chapter 9: Remembering and Releasing the Pain
Chapter 10: The True You Is Light in Body and Spirit
Chapter 11: Breaking the Pound/Pain Cycle
Chapter 12: Can Therapy Help Me?
Chapter 13: Listening to Food Cravings
Chapter 14: Eating in Secret, Eating in Shame
Chapter 15: Liquids: Thirst, Water, and Alcohol
Chapter 16: Weighing In—Asking for Trouble or Facing the Truth?
Chapter 17: Keeping the Body and Spirit Light
Self-Help Resources
Bibliography
About the Author
Preface

I
first decided to write this book in 1991 while serving as Program Director of
an all-female psychiatric hospital specializing in sexual abuse survivors. Almost
every client was struggling with deep emotional pain: stress, grief, depression,
rage, and dissatisfaction with work, marriage, and life in general. They
expressed, “Is this all my life will ever be?” to me in various ways. These
women had turned to food for comfort, security, and sometimes self-punishment.
Many were convinced that, if they could only lose the weight, all of their pain
would go away. What they came to learn was the opposite: First they had to lose
their pain, and then their weight would leave them.
When I initially became a psychotherapist specializing in eating disorders, I
was relatively naive about the brutal nature of abusive households. I had never
experienced childhood abuse firsthand, but my clients sure had! Woman after
woman described various degrees of childhood abuse, including emotional
neglect, verbal assaults, molestation, incest, rape, and cult involvement. By the
time I’d been a therapist for a year, I’d worked with hundreds of women who
cried, screamed, and released pounds and pounds of pain.
Every time I’d work with a woman, she’d lose weight. As a result, my
caseload swelled to capacity, filled with women wanting to lose weight. Every
one of these women had tried traditional diets, only to regain the weight time
and time again.
I was fortunate to grow up in a household surrounded by loving, extremely
intelligent, metaphysically minded parents. My father is a writer, and my mother
is a former Christian Science practitioner and Weight Watchers counselor. Is it
any wonder that I grew up to be a blend of both their occupations? As a
therapist, I’ve used many of the skills my parents taught me: visualization,
affirmations, imagery, meditation, and healthful eating and exercise habits. I
used these tools in my 20s to dramatically transform my life from an unhappy
existence to one that is something straight out of my dreams today. (But you’ll
read more about my story later on in this book.)
As a psychotherapist, I worked with clients in the 1980s to discover why they
were overeating, instead of focusing on what they were eating. That was
considered a radical approach at the time, but it’s readily accepted today. I wrote
my second book, The Yo-Yo Syndrome Diet (later renamed The Yo-Yo Diet
Syndrome) based on my research on the link between emotions and overeating.
The methods I used with abuse survivors who compulsively overeat are
detailed in the pages that follow. I’ve geared this book to provide both
information and real help.
Most of my work has centered around women’s issues, and this book reflects
that focus. Losing Your Pounds of Pain is geared for women struggling with
overeating due to stress, depression, anxiety, relationship problems, and career
troubles. This book will certainly help men facing these issues as well; pounds of
pain, after all, have no gender-based barriers! However, since the majority of
people seeking my help are women, this book uses female pronouns such as
“she” and “her” instead of awkward phrases such as “he or she” and “him or
her.”
When I first began speaking and writing about the link between childhood
abuse and compulsive overeating, the idea was met with resistance. Today, this
concept doesn’t seem so far-fetched. However, some therapists seem to have
gone overboard in their treatment styles working with eatingdisordered clients. It
seems that some therapists believe that every eatingdisordered client has been
sexually abused, even if they have no recollection of the event.
Not every compulsive overeater has been sexually abused! The pain they’re
carrying, in the form of extra pounds, can stem from a number of sources. Those
different sources are described in this book.
On the other hand, there are many abuse survivors who repress and forget
about their sexual abuse as a means of coping with the trauma. I am deeply
concerned that the current media blitz about “false memories” and overly
zealous eatingdisorder therapists will negatively impact those people who really
need help.
As always, the only approach to healing a problem is an honest examination
of its symptoms and roots. Once the pain is identified, it needs to be released.
When the pain is released, the pounds will also be. Weight loss will follow.
I strongly believe that our true, natural state is to be light in body and spirit.
We are meant to enjoy ourselves and be happy, even while undertaking our
responsibilities. Pain is not supposed to be blindly accepted; it is instead a signal
that something is wrong and needs to be changed or healed. We are meant to
have healthy, normal-weight bodies.
This book will show you how to uncover your true, natural self by shedding
the false skin of unhappiness and overweight.