Lonely Children and Adolescents: Self-Perceptions, Social Exclusion, and Hope PDF
Preview Lonely Children and Adolescents: Self-Perceptions, Social Exclusion, and Hope
Lonely Children and Adolescents Malka Margalit Lonely Children and Adolescents Self-Perceptions, Social Exclusion, and Hope 123 MalkaMargalit TelAvivUniversity ConstantinerSchoolofEducation 69978TelAviv Israel [email protected] ISBN978-1-4419-6283-6 e-ISBN978-1-4419-6284-3 DOI10.1007/978-1-4419-6284-3 SpringerNewYorkDordrechtHeidelbergLondon LibraryofCongressControlNumber:2010928733 ©SpringerScience+BusinessMedia,LLC2010 Allrightsreserved.Thisworkmaynotbetranslatedorcopiedinwholeorinpartwithoutthewritten permission of the publisher (Springer Science+Business Media, LLC, 233 Spring Street, New York, NY10013,USA),exceptforbriefexcerptsinconnectionwithreviewsorscholarlyanalysis.Usein connectionwithanyformofinformationstorageandretrieval,electronicadaptation,computersoftware, orbysimilarordissimilarmethodologynowknownorhereafterdevelopedisforbidden. Theuseinthispublicationoftradenames,trademarks,servicemarks,andsimilarterms,eveniftheyare notidentifiedassuch,isnottobetakenasanexpressionofopinionastowhetherornottheyaresubject toproprietaryrights. Printedonacid-freepaper SpringerispartofSpringerScience+BusinessMedia(www.springer.com) Tomyparents,HanaandAvigdorGutenberg myhusband,Yoni mychildren,MotiandDubi andmygrandchildren Preface Loneliness is a painful and distressful experience. It signals the existence of a failure in the valued area of personal perceptions and interpersonal relationships. Itaffectschildren’sandadolescents’qualityoflifeandrepresentsadevelopmental risk for future adjustment. In Lonely Children and Adolescents: Self-Perceptions, Social Exclusion, and Hope I seek to synthesize more than 15 years of research with my students. This book addresses the core experience of the emotional and sociallifeofchildrenandadolescents:feelinglonelyathomeandinschoolamong classmates. Some children keep their loneliness distress to themselves, but many others share their agony and expect to receive support and help from preoccu- pied and worried parents and teachers. The book proposes a reconceptualization of the children’s distress not as a dichotomy model (lonely/not lonely) but as a dynamicmultidimensionalunderstandingofmovementalongcontinuumsbetween loneliness,connectedness,andsolitudewithindevelopmentalparadigms. At this time, the constantly growing connectedness opportunities and choices throughcommunicationpathssuchassocialnetworkingsites(e.g.,Facebook)and cells’oralandwrittencommunication,inadditiontoface-to-facecontacts,increase theimportanceoffocusingonchildren’sloneliness.Nowadays,youngpeoplekeep contacts most of the time with family, friends, classmate peers that they know, as wellas“friendsoffriends,”andtotalstrangers.Atthesametime,theyplaycollabo- rativegamesonthecomputer,updatetheirpositionsandactivitiesonline,sendtext messagesontheirmobile,andcheckwhoislookingforthemonsocialsites.Social networking is growing in magnitude and importance, enabling diverse routes to challengesocialisolation.Yetmanyyoungsterscontinuetofeelalone,evenamong friends and family members. Parents share anxious concerns when realizing their children’ssocialsuffering,feelinghelplessandunsureregardingwhattheycando. Educators express frustrations when they identify children’s social exclusion, yet oftenfeelunpreparedtoprovidemeaningfulhelp. The goal of this book is to examine in depth the loneliness experienced by children as related to their individual characteristics and contextual conditions at homeandinschool.Inlinewithcurrentpsychologytrends,thebookpresentslone- liness as a risk factor and also discusses protective factors and social-emotional resilience. It concludes in proposing therapeutic implications of the hope theory, vii viii Preface empowering strategies for coping with childhood loneliness as well as preventive andinterventionapproaches. Inthisbook,lonelinessconceptualizationasanoutcomeofamismatchbetween children’s needs and motivation for connectedness and their perceived social real- ities is presented. The book is divided into nine chapters that start with clarifying conceptual approaches. Personal characteristics of children are presented, includ- ing genetics, psychoanalytic theories of attachment, social learning constructs’ self–perceptions,anddevelopmentalfactors,whichmaypredisposechildrentothe lonelinessexperiences,orpredicttheirresilience(Chapter2). The loneliness construct deals with personal and interpersonal relations within different contextual conditions, and the third chapter discusses the children’s first socialenvironment–thefamily–detailingrelationsinsidethefamilywithparents and siblings, including parenting styles and periods of instability, such as divorce, and their relations to the experience of social isolation. Discussions of the fam- ilyandschoolenvironmentsaspromotingorchallenginglonelinessandinteracting withpersonalcharacteristics,includingchildrenwithspecialneeds,havetheoretical importancewitheducationalandparentingimplications. Thefourthandthefifthchaptersintroducetheschoolenvironment,includingthe importantrolesofteachersandpeersforchildren’sconnectedness,companionships, andalienation.ThesixthchapterpresentstheInternetenvironmentsandthepredic- tive role of virtual connections on children’s well-being. Nowadays, children and adolescents feel a strong urge to keep connected most of the time, and the social exclusion as well as their experience of alienation predict a more profound risk to theirwell-beinganddevelopment. The seventh and the eighth chapters display empowering and resilience trends inthediscussionsofcopingwithlonelinessasanalternativetodeficitapproaches, withclinicalandeducationalimplications.Theinclusionofawiderangeofclassic andinnovativetherapeuticapproachesprovidessupportiveexamplestotheempow- ering possibilities. The conclusions and future directions in the last chapter offer future opportunities for research, intervention, and prevention, raising challenges anddilemmas. Inconclusion,Ibelievethat,currently,childhoodlonelinessisaneglectedtopic, andIhopethatthebookmeetstheunansweredneedforacomprehensiveupdated research-basedconceptualizationonthissignificantdevelopmentalrisk.Bypropos- ingthesalutogenic(healthpromotion)paradigmandthehopetheoryaswellasby introducing the possibilities of technological developments, I believe that it has a special value for prevention, counseling, and intervention planning. In the current culturaltrendsthathighlightthesignificanceofsocialconnectionsandtheprotec- tive and risk paradigms related to the impacts of friends, I trust that it will extend knowledgethatwillhelpbridgesocialorinterpersonalspaceandempowerchildren, theirfamilies,andschoolsintheirstrugglewithsocialexclusionandalienation. Tel-Aviv,Israel MalkaMargalit Acknowledgments Iwouldliketoexpressmyappreciationtoanumberofpeoplewhoencouragedand assistedmeinpreparingthisbook.Itreflectstheinsightsacquiredfromstudiesthat Iperformedduringtheyearswithmystudents.Thedescriptionsofchildren,fami- lies,andteachersthatarepresentedinthisbookemerged throughtheworkofour researchteams,andwechangedidentifyinginformationtoprotectprivacy.Thanks are expressed to many students, whose creative and inspiring ideas enriched our work,andmanyinstitutionsthathavegenerouslysupportedmyresearchduringthe years.ThereisnowayinwhichIcansingleeachoneoutforthethanksthataredue. Yet I would like especially to express my gratitude to Orly Idan who spent many hoursreadingandreviewingthemanuscriptandprovidedmewiththoughtfulcom- ments. Finally, to children, parents, and teachers, I voice my deepest gratitude for sharingwithmetheirfeelingsoflonelinessandhopeandenablereachingin-depth understandingoftheircompanionship,connectedness,andsocialisolation. ix
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