Living together: a legal guide for unmarried couples

263 Pages·2004·1.17 MB·English

by  Toni Lynne Ihara, Frederick Hertz, Ralph E. Warner

13th edition
Living
Together
A Legal Guide for
Unmarried Couples
by Attorneys Toni Ihara, Ralph Warner & Frederick Hertz
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Table of Contents
1 Living Together: An Introduction
2 The Legal State of Living Together
A. Sex and the Law ................................................................................................... 2/2
B. Common Law Marriage ......................................................................................... 2/3
C. Living Together Contracts ....................................................................................... 2/4
D. To Be Safe, Write It Down ...................................................................................... 2/9
E. What Happens to Your Written Living Together Agreement If You Get Married? .......... 2/10
F. Domestic Partners ............................................................................................... 2/11
3 Living Together Agreements: Why and How
A. Ten Tips for Writing a Living Together Agreement ...................................................... 3/3
B. Property Agreements ............................................................................................ 3/4
C. Agreement to Share Ownership of a Joint Purchase ................................................ 3/13
D. Agreement Covering Joint Projects ........................................................................ 3/17
E. Agreement Covering Homemaker Services ............................................................ 3/19
F. Agreement for Artists and Inventors ....................................................................... 3/21
G. Agreement for People in School ............................................................................ 3/23
H. Agreement to Protect Person Who Moves a Long Distance or Gives Up a Job ............ 3/25
4 Debt, Credit, Taxes, and More: Practical Aspects of
Living Together
A. Debt and Credit .................................................................................................... 4/3
B. Buying and Investing Together ................................................................................ 4/6
C. Discrimination ...................................................................................................... 4/7
D. Sharing Your Last Name ........................................................................................ 4/9
E. Income Taxes...................................................................................................... 4/10
F. Social Security ................................................................................................... 4/12
G. Retirement Plans ................................................................................................. 4/13
H. Public Benefts .................................................................................................... 4/14
I. Insurance ........................................................................................................... 4/15
J. Liability for Medical Care of a Mate...................................................................... 4/17
K. Making Medical and Financial Decisions for Your Partner ........................................ 4/17
L. Wrongful Death and Loss of Consortium Lawsuits .................................................... 4/19
5 Renting and Sharing a Home
A. Discrimination on the Basis of Marital Status ............................................................ 5/2
B. Leases and Rental Agreements ................................................................................ 5/3
C. Moving In Together ............................................................................................... 5/4
D. Moving Into the Rental Home of One Partner ............................................................ 5/5
E. Getting Your Security Deposit Back ...................................................................... 5/10
6 Buying a House Together
A. May Sellers Discriminate Against Unmarried Buyers? ................................................ 6/3
B. How to Find and Work With a Real Estate Agent ...................................................... 6/4
C. Househunting Online ............................................................................................. 6/5
D. Home Financing and Mortgages ............................................................................ 6/5
E. Proceeding With Your Purchase: Offers, Inspections, Escrow, and Closing ................... 6/9
F. Taking Title to Your New Home ............................................................................. 6/11
G. Contracts for Couples Owning a Home Together .................................................... 6/14
H. Contract for Equal Ownership of a House ............................................................. 6/15
I. Contract for Unequal Ownership of a House .......................................................... 6/22
J. Agreement for One Person to Move Into the Other’s House
and Become an Immediate Co-Owner ................................................................... 6/26
K. Agreement for One Person to Move Into the Other’s House
and Become a Co-Owner Gradually ..................................................................... 6/30
7 Starting a Family
A. Having a Child: Legal Obligations of Unmarried Parents ........................................... 7/2
B. Naming the Baby and Getting a Birth Certifcate ...................................................... 7/2
C. Naming the Father: Paternity .................................................................................. 7/3
D. Legitimacy of Children Born to Unmarried Parents .................................................... 7/5
E. Adopting a Child .................................................................................................. 7/8
F. Public and Private Benefts for a Child of Unmarried Parents..................................... 7/10
G. Inheritance Rights of a Child of Unmarried Parents .................................................. 7/10
8 You and Your Ex-Spouse and Children
From a Prior Relationship
A. Getting a Divorce While Living With Someone Else .................................................. 8/2
B. Living Together and Impact on Custody of Children From a Prior Marriage .................. 8/5
C. Visitation With Children From a Prior Marriage ........................................................ 8/9
D. Child Support for Children From a Prior Marriage .................................................. 8/10
E. The Effect of Living Together on Alimony and Child Support From a Prior Marriage ..... 8/11
9 Wills and Estate Planning
A. What Happens If You Don’t Do Any Estate Planning? ................................................ 9/3
B. The Effect of Living Together Contracts ..................................................................... 9/3
C. Figuring Out What You Own: Taking Inventory ......................................................... 9/4
D. An Introduction to Wills ......................................................................................... 9/6
E. Preparing a Basic Will .......................................................................................... 9/8
F. Avoiding Probate ................................................................................................ 9/18
G. Estate and Gift Taxes ........................................................................................... 9/23
H. Balancing the Needs of Your Partner and Your Children .......................................... 9/30
I. Funerals and Other Final Arrangements ................................................................. 9/32
10 Moving On—When Unmarried
Couples Separate
A. Rules of the Unmarried Dissolution ........................................................................ 10/2
B. The Process of Separation .................................................................................... 10/3
C. Ten Steps to Resolving Your Conficts ..................................................................... 10/8
D. Mediation, Arbitration, and Other Ways to Resolve Disputes .................................. 10/10
E. Lawyers and Lawsuits: Going to Court ................................................................. 10/14
F. Solutions for Property Division Problems ............................................................... 10/15
G. Putting It All Together: Preparing a Settlement Agreement ....................................... 10/20
H. Children: Custody, Visitation, and Support ........................................................... 10/22
11 Lawyers and Legal Research
A. Doing Your Own Legal Research ........................................................................... 11/2
B. Hiring a Lawyer .................................................................................................. 11/5
Appendix I: How to Use the CD-ROM
A. Installing the Form Files Onto Your Computer ..........................................................A1/2
B. Using the Word Processing Files to Create Documents .............................................A1/2
Appendix II: Tear-Out Forms
Index
C H A P T E R
1
Living Together: An Introduction
C H A P T E R
2
The Legal State of Living Together
A. Sex and the Law ................................................................................................2/2
B. common Law Marriage ......................................................................................2/3
c. Living Together contracts .....................................................................................2/4
1. Living Together contracts—What They Are and
Why unmarried couples need one .................................................................2/5
2. The Law and Living Together contracts ...............................................................2/6
3. Some general Legal rules regarding Living Together contracts ...............................2/6
d. To Be Safe, Write It down ...................................................................................2/9
e. What happens to Your Written Living Together Agreement If You get Married? ...........2/10
F. domestic Partners .............................................................................................2/11
1. domestic Partnership Programs and Benefts ......................................................2/11
2. What Are the Legal Implications of registering as domestic Partners? .....................2/12
2/2 LIvIng TogeTher
his chapter provides an overview of the key p rotection of children). adultery laws may still fnd
legal issues affecting unmarried couples— their way into divorce, alimony, and custody pro-
Tfrom the laws of living together (cohabiting) ceedings, or they may be invoked in cases involving
to making property agreements. This chapter also property disputes. (see Chapter 8 for more on these
explains the rules regarding common law marriages issues.)
and domestic partnerships.
The National Gay and Lesbian Task Force
(NGLTF) keeps track of sex laws affect-
A. Sex and the Law ing both heterosexuals and homosexuals. for
The united states supreme Court fnally entered more information, contact the nglTf at 2320 17th
the 21st century in 2003. in Lawrence v. Texas, 123 st., nw, washington, dC 20009, 202-332-6483, or
s.Ct. 2472 (2003), the court struck down a Texas law check their website at www.ngltf.org. The american
prohibiting “deviate sexual intercourse” (in this case, Civil liberties union also monitors sex laws. for
sodomy) between two persons of the same sex. The information, see www.aclu.org.
supreme Court overruled its own opinion in Bowers
v. Hardwick, 486 u.s. 186 (1986), which upheld a Speaking of sex—don’t. it is critical that
similar law in georgia. The supreme Court held that you omit any references to a sexual relation-
the due process Clause of the fourteenth amend- ship in any living together contract you write. if you
ment protects the decisions of individuals about do, and your contract is reviewed by an ultraconser-
intimate physical relationships from intrusion by the vative judge in a separate dispute, the whole contract
state, and that the protection extends to unmarried as may be thrown out. (Chapter 3 discusses this issue in
well as married persons. more detail.)
The legal effect of Lawrence v. Texas was to ren-
der all sodomy laws unconstitutional, including those
directed at heterosexual couples. of course, the laws Legal Defnitions of Prohibited Sex Acts
of the states that continue to prohibit sodomy will
stay on the books until they are challenged in court Fornication: voluntary sexual intercourse between
or repealed by the legislature. if you live in one of unmarried people of the opposite sex. if one of the
people is still married, this is generally considered to
those states and are prosecuted for sodomy, however,
be adultery, not fornication. in many states, adultery
you should be able to get your case dismissed simply
is technically a crime, but rarely is anyone prosecuted
by raising a challenge under Lawrence. for it.
although it does not address such laws directly, Cohabitation: Two people living together in an
Lawrence also calls into question all restrictions intimate sexual relationship, without being married.
on consensual adult sexual activity, such as laws some courts, especially those in states where fornica-
prohibiting cohabitation and fornication. (see “legal tion is illegal, describe a cohabitation relationship as
defnitions of prohibited sex acts,” below.) if you meretricious, meaning “of an unlawful sexual nature.”
and your partner are over 18 and neither of you is Sodomy: generally refers to oral or anal sex.
married to someone else, you can consider yourself many states call it an unnatural act or a “crime against
fairly safe from criminal prosecution for your private, nature.” some states prohibit all sodomy, while others
consensual sexual activity, even if your state still prohibit only specifc acts.
has laws on the books relating to cohabitation and To fnd out more about laws (and penalties)
fornication. regarding cohabitation, fornication, or adultery, check
adultery, however is still illegal in many states. your state laws. Chapter 11 provides advice on doing
this kind of legal research. also, for information on
These laws may not be affected by the Lawrence v.
state laws involving adultery that may affect alimony
Texas decision, because of the special public poli-
or division of marital property if you’re living with
cies involved (for example, support of marriage and someone while getting a divorce, see Chapter 8.