Like Me or Not: Overcoming Approval Addiction

225 Pages·2018·0.85 MB·English

by  Dawn Owens

“Dawn’s timely message about our addiction to approval and the desper-
ate need to fight for recovery prompts us to approach our insecurities
with honesty and courage and discover joy in the surrendered life God
intended for us.”
—Angie Smith, women’s ministry speaker and
best-selling author of I Will Carry You and Mended
“Dawn has written a powerful book that every woman needs to read!
We miss so much of our God-given purposes in fear of what other flawed
humans think. Thank you, Dawn, for bravely sharing with us the solu-
tion to these oft-challenging fears and feelings: a deeper trust in the God
who made us.”
—Lara Casey, author of Make it Happen and Cultivate
“We’ve all felt the allure of social approval and the disappointment of an
online post or real-life relationship falling flat. Like Me or Not shows us
a different way as Dawn’s practical tips and vulnerable stories call us to
greater levels of freedom in Christ.”
—Jen Weaver, author of A Wife’s Secret to Happiness
“Like Me or Not was a liberating read for me as a woman. I believe this
book is going to empower women everywhere to start seeing themselves
a little more like God sees us.”
—Laura L. Bento, CEO, Good Grit Magazine
“Like Me or Not is a helpful guide for those who struggle with people-
pleasing. Dawn, with surprising candor, takes the reader through her
own journey, and offers tangible steps for growth and healing. If control
and perfectionism are part of your need-to-please repertoire, this book is
for you.”
—Lucille Zimmerman, licensed professional counselor
and author of Renewed
“Like Me or Not gives thoughtful, biblical, practical help for all of us who
seek the approval of others. It is truly a crucial book for the twenty-first
century.”
—Bob Hostetler, coauthor with Josh McDowell of
Don’t Check Your Brains at the Door
“Like Me or Not allowed me to feel more confident in my decisions and
completely surrender to God’s will instead of the opinions of others. If
you’re constantly seeking approval, this is the book for you.”
—Bethany Jett, award-winning author of The Cinderella Rule:
A Young Woman’s Guide to Happily Ever After.
“Like Me or Not is inspiring and uplifting. We all require tools to navi-
gate the storms of people-pleasing. This is a must read on the path to
self-discovery!”
—Meghan Noone, model/spokesperson,
Executive Director, Noonetime Charities
“Dawn has opened the door of her life to connect with countless people
who share her same addiction. Like Me or Not serves as a practical re-
source to bring healing to the approval addict. This authentic approach
to new life is a journey worth taking.”
—Micah Andrews, CEO, Foundry Ministries
“Dawn’s book is a must-read for all women. I’m grateful that God
prompted Dawn to write such an honest and powerful book.”
—Michelle Medlock Adams, best-selling author
of more than eighty books
“Dawn addresses this important topic in an honest, personable, and
loving way. For too long the standards by which we judge ourselves have
been unreasonable and downright false. Dawn not only addresses the
problem of approval addiction, she offers a Christ-centered, practical
strategy to solve it.”
—Dr. Janet L. McMullen, Associate Professor of Communications,
University of North Alabama

Like Me or Not
Copyright © 2018 by Dawn Owens.
Published by Worthy Books, an imprint of Worthy Publishing Group, a division of Worthy Media, Inc.,
One Franklin Park, 6100 Tower Circle, Suite 210, Franklin, TN 37067.
WORTHY is a registered trademark of Worthy Media, Inc.
Helping people experience the heart of God.
eBook available wherever digital books are sold.
_______________________________________________________________
Library of Congress Control Number: 2018933505
_______________________________________________________________
All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, New International
Version®, NIV®. Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission of
Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. The “NIV” and “New International Version” are trademarks
registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.™ | Scripture quotations
marked kjv are taken from the King James Version of the Bible. | Scripture quotations marked esv
are taken from the ESV® Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®), copyright © 2001 by
Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved. |
Scripture quotations marked nlt are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright ©
1996, 2004, 2007, 2013, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House
Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved. | Scripture quotations marked nasb
are taken from the New American Standard Bible, copyright © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972,
1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. | Scripture quotations marked ampc are taken
from the Amplified Bible, Classic Edition, copyright © 1954, 1958, 1962, 1964, 1965, 1987 by The
Lockman Foundation. | Scripture quotations marked msg are taken from The Message, copyright ©
1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002 by Eugene H. Peterson. Used by permission of NavPress.
All rights reserved. Represented by Tyndale House Publishers, Inc.
Names and certain details mentioned in this book have been changed to protect the privacy of others.
No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form
or by any means—electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or any other—except for brief quota-
tions in printed reviews, without the prior permission of the publisher.
Published in association with Cyle Young. [email protected].
Packaged by Worthy Media. For subsidiary and foreign language rights, contact
[email protected].
ISBN: 978-1-68397-266-2
Cover Design: Matt Smartt, Smartt Guys Design
Interior Design and Typesetting: Bart Dawson
Printed in the United States of America
18 19 20 21 22 23 dpi 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
To Bob Hostetler—
What you hold in your hands
is the product of your spiritual legacy.
This “Ehud” is forever grateful.

Contents
Introduction: Could I Have a Problem? 1
1. Reality Check 7
2. Puhlease, People 15
3. Me, Insecure? 33
4. My Way or the Highway 51
5. Don’t Take It So Personally 65
6. Community versus Comparison 77
7. That Chip on Your Shoulder 89
8. Rejected! 101
9. One Day at a Time 109
10. Know Who You Are 131
11. Obsession (Not the Perfume) 141
12. Peace Junkie 153
13. A Joy-a-Holic 161
14. The Surrender Habit 169
Conclusion: The End of Us Begins with You 179
Leader’s Guide 185
Appendix 209
Acknowledgments 213
Notes 214

INTRODUCTION
Could I Have
a Problem?
Before you can break out of prison, you first
must realize you are locked up.
HEALTHYPLACE.COM
Jessica knew there were some underlying issues in her life. She
could feel it, especially when she was around Kayla, who just
seemed to have it all together. She couldn’t put her finger on why, but
every conversation she had with Kayla felt like a fierce competition.
Sometimes it was what their kids were (or were not) doing. Other
times, it was who had gotten the better bargain or whose husband
was doing more around the house. Every time they talked, Jessica
felt compelled to outdo Kayla in some way. She even found herself
wondering at times what Kayla was doing and whether she should be
doing the same thing.
1