Lesbian and Gay Parenting: Securing Social and Educational Capital

228 Pages·2009·2.413 MB·English

by  Yvette Taylor (auth.)

Lesbian and Gay Parenting
AlsobyYvetteTaylor
WORKING-CLASSLESBIANLIFE:ClassedOutsiders
Lesbian and Gay Parenting
Securing Social and Educational Capital
Yvette Taylor
NewcastleUniversity,UK
©YvetteTaylor2009
Softcover reprint of the hardcover 1st edition 2009 978-0-230-20272-6
Allrightsreserved.Noreproduction,copyortransmissionofthis
publicationmaybemadewithoutwrittenpermission.
Noportionofthispublicationmaybereproduced,copiedortransmitted
savewithwrittenpermissionorinaccordancewiththeprovisionsofthe
Copyright,DesignsandPatentsAct1988,orunderthetermsofanylicence
permittinglimitedcopyingissuedbytheCopyrightLicensingAgency,
SaffronHouse,6-10KirbyStreet,LondonEC1N8TS.
Anypersonwhodoesanyunauthorizedactinrelationtothispublication
maybeliabletocriminalprosecutionandcivilclaimsfordamages.
Theauthorhasassertedherrighttobeidentified
astheauthorofthisworkinaccordancewiththeCopyright,
DesignsandPatentsAct1988.
Firstpublished2009by
PALGRAVEMACMILLAN
PalgraveMacmillanintheUKisanimprintofMacmillanPublishersLimited,
registeredinEngland,companynumber785998,ofHoundmills,Basingstoke,
HampshireRG216XS.
PalgraveMacmillanintheUSisadivisionofStMartin’sPressLLC,
175FifthAvenue,NewYork,NY10010.
PalgraveMacmillanistheglobalacademicimprintoftheabovecompanies
andhascompaniesandrepresentativesthroughouttheworld.
Palgrave®andMacmillan®areregisteredtrademarksintheUnitedStates,
theUnitedKingdom,Europeandothercountries.
ISBN 978-1-349-30081-5 ISBN 978-0-230-24454-2 (eBook)
DOI 10.1057/9780230244542
Thisbookisprintedonpapersuitableforrecyclingandmadefromfully
managedandsustainedforestsources.Logging,pulpingandmanufacturing
processesareexpectedtoconformtotheenvironmentalregulationsofthe
countryoforigin.
AcataloguerecordforthisbookisavailablefromtheBritishLibrary.
LibraryofCongressCataloging-in-PublicationData
Taylor,Yvette,1978–
Lesbianandgayparenting:securingsocialandeducationalcapital/
YvetteTaylor.
p. cm.
Includesbibliographicalreferencesandindex.
ISBN978-1-349-3008-5(alk.paper)
1. Gayparents. 2. Lesbianmothers. 3. Parenting—Socialaspects.
4. Childrenofgayparents. I. Title.
HQ75.27.T392009
306.874086(cid:2)64—dc22 2009013644
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
18 17 16 15 14 13 12 11 10 09
Contents
Acknowledgements vi
Introduction vii
1 TheStraightandNarrow? 1
2 GayParents,GamesLessonsandGamblingwiththeFuture 27
3 TickingAlltheWrongBoxes?GayParentsandthe
(Im)possibilityofBeingRight 58
4 FamilyFortunes 90
5 MixedSignalsattheSchoolCrossing 114
6 PrivilegedLocations?Sexuality,ClassandGeography 139
7 JustCauseorImpediment?CostsofCivicAcceptance 167
ConcludingThoughts 190
Appendix 193
Notes 198
Bibliography 200
Index 212
v
Acknowledgements
There are many people to thank here. First, thanks to those who par-
ticipatedinthisprojectandmadethisbookpossible.Thisresearchwas
fundedbyTheBritishAcademy‘WhatWouldtheParentsSay?GayParents
andSocialCapital’(2006–2008)andIthankthemfortheircontribution.
Thanks to those who listened to changing thoughts and who were
good and patient enough to read drafts: to Steph Lawler for her suc-
cinct advice on word-counting and manuscript length; hopefully, this
pieceisnot‘stilltoolong!’.ToJacquiGabbwhocommentedonveryini-
tial, straying ideas and who was good enough to offer encouragement
and guidance. To Diane Richardson, and to Mark Casey and Cathrine
Degnenfortheirreadingsandsupportthroughout.Thankstocolleagues
inGeography,PoliticsandSociologyatNewcastleUniversitywhohave
offeredfriendshipovertheyearsandspecialthankstoMichelleAddison
whoworkedwithmeontheESRCproject‘FromtheCoalFacetotheCar
Park?: Intersections of Class and Gender in the North East’ (2007–2009).
ThankstoSallyHinesforallthelaughsatNewcastle–andbeyond.
vi
Introduction
Thisbookexploresintersectionsbetweenclassandsexualityinlesbians’
andgaymen’sexperiencesofparentingandtheeverydaypracticesand
pathways navigated therein, from initial routes into parenting and
householddivisionsoflabour,tolocationpreferences,schoolingchoice
and community supports. In a context of legal changes such as the
UK Civil Partnership Act (2004) and the 1996 US Defence of Mar-
riageAct(DOMA),itseekstosituateparentsasbothsexualandclassed
subjects, interrogating the relevance, transmission and accumulation
of class and sexual (dis)advantages. This research is situated between
unconnectedandcompetingpositions;frequentlylesbianandgayfam-
ilies are positioned at the vanguard of transformations in intimacy
while often still empirically absent in such declarations: they are mis-
placed in this dual over-emphasis (as agents of social change) and
sidelining (under-investigated when compared to the research on het-
erosexual families). Although a now growing field, much current work
on lesbian and gay kinship still overlooks the significance of socio-
economicstatus(Weston,1991;BernsteinandReimann,2001;Sullivan,
2001). Even where there has been attention to gendered dynamics
and constraints, class, as a crucial component of parental ‘choice’ and
experience, has been neglected (Gabb, 2004, 2005; Ryan-Flood, 2005;
Lindsayetal.,2006).
BasedonUSresearch,Agigian(2004)issomewhatuniqueinexploring
the intersection between sexuality, race and class in lesbian insemina-
tion, yet there remains much to be explored beyond the specificities
of routes into parenting. Agigian utilises a rather limited notion of
class, applying this solely to financial exclusion – this book seeks to
extend Agigian’s analysis of class, functioningin and beyond routes to
parenthood, into continued interactions with social and educational
providers, across everyday parental terrain. Gabb (2001) and Dunne
(1997, 1998), for example, have explored the everyday practices of
lesbian mothers, includinginvolvementin schooling, community net-
works, employment and leisure – however, I suggest these everyday
practices are very much classed (Taylor, 2007), posing the question
of just whose ‘everyday’ we are concerned with? In addressing the
significance of class to contemporary lesbian and gay parented fam-
ilies, this book hopes to illuminate how family practices, choices
vii
viii Introduction
andinstitutional(dis)engagementsaremediatedandshapedbyclassed
dimensions.
The ‘families of choice’ literature continues to have widespread
salience, framing much of the research on lesbian and gay parent-
ing (Stacey, 2006). In their influential work, Weeks et al. (2001)
explore experiences of self-invention and well-being amongst ‘non-
heterosexual’families(seealsoWeston,1991;Dunne,1997).Deploying
the notion of ‘social capital’ they highlight strategies of networking
andcommunitybuildingandthegenerationofself-consciouslycreated
communities whereby locally embedded constructions of capital com-
poundfamilialresources.However,theovertoptimismoftheiraccount
glosses over potential exclusion and here I seek to inflect the discus-
sionofchoicewiththeconstraintsimposedbydifferingaccesstosocial
capital.
As such, this research explores a range of topics, including routes to
parenthood,geographiesofinclusionandexclusionandtheeducational
system. It seeks to bridge the gap between studies on the reproduction
of class privileges in heterosexual families (Ball, 2003; Devine, 2004)
against quite different, often un-classed, notions of social capital in
lesbian and gay families. The theoretical opposition – and merging –
of different uses of ‘social capital’ (Bourdieu, 1984; Weeks et al., 2001)
is used to advance class conceptualisations and intersections, explor-
ing too the ways that (middle) classed capitals sometimes do not pay
off,asaresultofoccupyingnon-normativesexualities.Inexploringthe
waysthatclassandsexualityframepossibilitiesandparameters,Iaskif
middle-class lesbian and gay parents seek to protect their children via
greater choice over their educational and social environment: are they
able to secure educational advantage in a context where their sexuali-
tiesareformallymarginalisedandgroundsforeducationaldisaffection?
Cansuchpracticesbesaidtoconstituteanefforttoprotectandreplicate
classprivilegeorsimply‘makeup’foralossofeducationalandsocietal
affirmation? Are working-class parents ‘doubly disadvantaged’ in such
negotiations?
Stacey and Biblarz’s (2001) classic article ‘(How) Does The Sexual
Orientation of Parents Matter?’ challenges the notion that children of
lesbian and gay parents are at a higher risk for a variety of negative
outcomes (e.g., educational failure), calling for a more sociologically
informedcritique,asopposedtoendlesspsychologicalmeasuresframed
by a defensiveness, even necessity, in proving ‘normal’, ‘safe’ parent-
ing. ‘Diversity’ is positively asserted, where the difference of lesbian
and gay parents is politically, strategically declared and contested, as
Introduction ix
‘normal’outcomesandachievementsarestillquestionedandmeasured.
Stacey and Biblarz do, rather quickly, note that the degree of effort
needed to negotiate such judgements in varied legal, medical and wel-
farecontextsoftenmeansthatonlythemostprivilegedgroupsareable
to secure their rights. But the question remains as to when, to para-
phrase, ‘differences become deficits’ – and the classed constructions
and consequences of this in terms of parenting experiences and sex-
ualcitizenshipmoregenerally.Inseekingtoanswersuchquestions,this
book details the experiences and views of 60 white parents (46lesbian
mothers and 14 gay dads) from working-class and middle-class back-
ground across a range of localities in the United Kingdom, ranging in
agefrom18to63.
This first chapter ‘The Straight and Narrow?’ introduces key debates,
disputesandculturaldiscoursesaroundconceptualisationsof‘thefam-
ily’,particularlyinrelationtothesideliningoflesbianandgayfamilies,
againsttheongoingpromotionofheterosexual,two-parented‘nuclear’
families.Itconsiderswhohasthe‘choicetochoose’beyondthestraight
and narrow, inflecting the ‘families of choice’ literature with a dis-
cussion of the significance of class in relation to the ‘difference’ of
lesbianandgayparentedfamilies.Argumentsaboutparental‘sameness’
and ‘difference’ rarely consider the difference class makes in access-
ing, claiming and gaining a respectable ‘ordinary’ (homonormative)
status. Claims upon and desires for ‘ordinariness’ feature in academic
and everyday discourses, sometime circulated in unexpected places
(Richardson,2005).
For example, in the special ‘Family Issue’ (13 June 2007) of Diva, a
UKlesbianlifestylemagazine,readerswouldperhapsbepressedtoiden-
tify any difference between gay and straight families as the ‘ordinary’,
‘same’signifiersoffamilylifearedisplayedanddiscussed.Nonetheless,
these‘ordinary’practicesareasclassedastheyaresexualised;withinthe
pages of the special issue, pointers are given on identifying ‘England’s
most gay friendly school catchment areas’ – these ‘good’ schools, set
within‘good’areas,areimplicitlyclassedinthecodingoftheseas‘toler-
ant’,‘resourced’andoverall‘educated’spaces.Anotherclassingofsuch
descriptions is in the presumption of parental investment in consum-
ing strategies of finding out the ‘right’ placement and, importantly,
resourcing any relocation required to secure an acceptance. Claims to
‘ordinariness’arecomplex,everthreatenedbyquiteadifferentnorma-
tivedrive–thedesiretoproveandposition(only)heterosexualfamilies
as proper and legitimate. Who can resource and achieve ‘ordinariness’
andhowshouldtheseclaimsbeunderstood?