Legally Stoned: 14 Mind-Altering Substances You Can Obtain and Use Without Breaking the Law

166 Pages·2009·0.78 MB·English

by  Todd A. Thies Ph.D.

High Praise for
Legally Stoned
“Fascinating…You are not merely holding a book; you are holding a key to the doors of perception. Legally
Stoned is far more than an excellent, meticulously researched sourcebook; it is a highly readable treasure
trove of experiments and experiences.”
—Kinky Friedman, musician novelist, and politician
“Legally Stoned is a well-researched sourcebook for anyone interested in psychoactive substances that are
currently legal in the United States. Legally Stoned cites scientific research and personal accounts to
provide accurate descriptions of each substance’s history, physiological effects, and the risks of use. Legally
Stoned also challenges the rationality of the drug laws by describing the methods people often use to obtain
and prepare each substance.”
—Krystle Cole, www.NeuroSoup.com, author of Lysergic and After the Trip
“I refuse to plunge into paranoid speculation of why many of the magical and sacred foods of the gods are
made illegal and their communicants vilified. Instead, I bless and give thanks for books such as this, and
intelligent and courageous souls such as Dr. Thies for their efforts to keep the doors of perception in full
view for all of us to see.”
—Lon Milo DuQuette, author of My Life with the Spirits and Enochian Vision Magick
“Todd Thies is the new millennium’s Timothy Leary. His book covers the unexplored, mind-blowing
universe outside of the DEA’s crosshairs with insight and clarity. Legally Stoned is a fascinating read, a
guided journey down the rabbit hole.”
—M. Chris Fabricant, author of Busted! Drug War Survival Skills
LEGALLY STONED
14 Mind-Altering Substances You Can Obtain and Use Without Breaking
the Law
TODD THIES, PH.D.
Citadel Press
Kensington Publishing Corp.
www.kensingtonbooks.com
To my wife.
Legally Stoned is intended to be informational and entertaining. This
book describes what people do as part of a social and political commentary,
and I do not recommend that you engage in the activities described herein.
The text should not be treated as medical advice. The reader should consult
with and seek the advice of his or her physician before acting on any
information contained in this book. Furthermore, I am not an attorney, and
Legally Stoned should not be treated as legal advice. Readers should consult
with an attorney before acting on any information contained within this
book.
Contents
Foreword by Kinky Friedman
Acknowledgments
INTRODUCTION
CHAPTER 1
THE DIVINE MUSHROOM: Amanita muscaria
CHAPTER 2
THE CIA’S MAGIC BEANS: Anadenanthera peregrina/Colubrina Seeds
CHAPTER 3
GIFT FROM THE GREEN FAIRY: Artemisia absinthium
CHAPTER 4
THE SHAMAN’S POTION: Ayahuasca
CHAPTER 5
GOWIN’ NUTS: Betel Nuts
CHAPTER 6
SMOKING THE PSYCHEDELIC TOAD OF THE SONORAN DESERT: Bufo
alvarius Toad Venom
CHAPTER 7
TRIPPIN’ ON TUSSIN: Dextromethorphan
CHAPTER 8
THE INTOXICATING PEPPER: Kava
CHAPTER 9
OPIUM’S KISSING COUSIN: Kratom
CHAPTER 10
THE ACID ALTERNATIVE: Morning Glory and Hawaiian Baby Woodrose
Seeds
CHAPTER 11
LAUGHING GAS: Nitrous Oxide
CHAPTER 12
THE PSYCHEDELIC IN GRANDMA’S PANTRY: Nutmeg
CHAPTER 13
LEAVES OF THE SHEPHERDESS: Salvia divinorum
CHAPTER 14
SAINT OF THE CURANDEROS: San Pedro Cactus
APPENDIX 1
Opium Poppies
APPENDIX 2
What Not to Do, Part 1: Inhaling Volatile Solvents and Aerosols
APPENDIX 3
What Not to Do, Part 2: Solanaceae Family of Plants
Recommended for Further Reading
Glossary
Foreword
by Kinky Friedman
You are not merely holding a book; you are holding a key to the doors of
perception. Were you to experiment with some of the fourteen mind-altering
substances in Legally Stoned, you might not break the law but you’d probably
get high enough to go duck hunting with a rake. I’ve tried four of Dr. Thies’s
concoctions myself and I got so high I needed a stepladder to scratch my ass.
(Haven’t tried toad venom yet. I’m saving that one for Purim or the next time
I’m on Bill O’Reilly, whichever comes first.) Heracleitus once said that a man
never steps in the same river twice. That is because the river changes and the
man changes. Dr. Thies makes it clear that for thousands of years man has been
changing, chemically, spiritually, politically. Thoreau’s “quiet desperation,”
though, appears to be built into the human race.
Another way of belaboring this theme is to quote my personal guru, the
Hillbilly Dalai Lama, Willie Nelson, who, while smoking a joint the size of a
large kosher salami, once told me, “If you ain’t crazy, there’s something wrong
with you.”
Seen in the pale light of the twenty-first century, according to Dr. Thies, the
war on drugs currently being waged by our government at the DEA is not only
futile and counterproductive, but it runs inexplicably, inexorably against the
grain of the Declaration of Independence. We tried prohibition once, Dr. Thies
points out, and it created many more problems than it resolved.
Dr. Thies recommends, of course, that before you partake of “The CIA’s
Magic Beans” (Andadenanthera peregrina/colubrina seeds) or the “Gift from the
Green Fairy” (Artemisia absinthium)—or anything else in this book—you
should consult your lawyer and your doctor. I understand why the good
professor might have included this disclaimer, but I think it’s a waste of time to
see a lawyer. As I always say, “Where there’s a will, there’s a lawyer.” As far as
doctors go, I vividly recall the last time I went to one.
“I’ve got some bad news for you,” he told me. “You’re going to have to quit
masturbating.”
“Why?” I shouted.
“Because I have to examine you,” he said.
All this notwithstanding, Legally Stoned is far more than an excellent,
meticulously researched sourcebook; it is a highly readable treasure trove of
experiments and experiences—empirical, existential, eternal as the human spirit
—guaranteed to goose you, at least for the moment, out of that monotonous
mortal groove. For what is life if not moments, all strung together like a necklace
made of morning glory and Hawaiian baby woodrose seeds?
So should you consult your doctor or lawyer before attempting to replicate
some of these experiments outside the lab? I believe there are other voices you
should listen to. One of them is the still, small voice within. If you look around
at a world full of slums and suburbs and Starbucks, perhaps you’ll hear that
voice in three-part harmony with Alice in Wonderland and Jim Morrison. Then,
of course, there’s always the voice of Bob Dylan, who once suggested everybody
must get stoned.
Dr. Thies, I believe, is an exemplary Virgil; he has performed the high
spiritual task of the Wal-Mart greeter, asking each one of us, “How can I help
you?” If you read this new, and certain to be controversial, book, I guarantee
you’ll find it fascinating. If you decide to put the ancient key in the door, God
knows what might happen.
As my personal guru Uncle Willie often says, “Fortunately, we’re not in
control.”
As I often say, “Why the hell not?”
Medina, Texas
August 11, 2008