La Vie Collegienne: Lebanon Valley College Student Newspaper (March 28, 2012)

2012·4.7 MB·English

by  Lebanon Valley College

THIS WEEK ON VIDEOS DON’T WORK WELL IN PRINT
LA VIE ONLINE STUFF WE COULDN’T FIT
STUFF WE FORGOT
http://lavieonline.lvc.edu
L E B A N O N V A L L E Y C O L L E G E ’ S S T U D E N T N E W S P A P E R
Luh Vee Colleegieann
Volume 79, No. 17 A Happy Publication | Founded 1776 March 28, 2012
Campus squirrel chosen as Trash can
IF YOU ACTUALLY READ
LA VIE
marauder
new LVC president
apprehended
F
eatures
Archibald Lemmiwinks ’14
J.R. Whopper ’14
Staff Writer
Staff Writer
The Presidential Search Over the weekend, the
Committee has chosen the infamous perpetrator causing
successor to President Stephen trash cans to be knocked over on
C. MacDonald. After a yearlong Saturday nights across campus
search, the grueling process was apprehended by public
has come to an end. The head safety.
of the committee decided to The individual has caused
Concert choir sings in Mund for
take an unusual approach to the significant monetary damage
three days straight as revenge
for missed Dutchman Day search, announcing Michael Q. through their sporadic weekend
Squirrelton, the official campus actions, as well as ruined the
Page 4 squirrel, as President of the campus scenery. They have
PersPectives college. caused headaches for grounds
“We felt Squirrelton could crew members in cleaning up the
provide a nutty outlook on the mess as well. The apprehension
college and its students,” said the has come to much relief to
Head of the Presidential Search students and faculty alike.
Committee. When speaking to an
Not only is the faculty in admission’s member it was said,
full support of the committee’s “The individual has caused
decision, but the students as well. J.R. Whopper significant issues in our tour
Angry student demands on-
“I look forward to the changes PRESIDENT ANNOUNCED President Michael Squirrelton will begin his term this process. We have been afraid
campus Starbucks coming fall semester. Squirrelton has previously held the position of official campus
to give Sunday tours for almost
Page 6 squirrel for the past eight years giving him the necessary qualifications for presidency.
a&e See PRESIDENT | Page 2 He looks forward to a successful term. the whole year since we could
not risk showing the campus
looking like a junk yard. We
Tuition increase to fund Mund deconstruction
would either have to totally
alter the tour routes causing
Mike Raphone ’14 that money will be contributed “It was just so expensive to
the prospective students to
Staff Writer to the deconstruction of Mund. complete, and it was such a waste
miss much of the campus, or
So now that the campus has of space,” says Greg Krikorian,
risk the student thinking LVC
It is getting towards the end of finally arrived at the glorious Vice President for Student Affairs
is Rutgers-Camden in disguise.
the semester, and many students completion of the year and a half, at Lebanon Valley College, “I
Art professor wins award for have already received letters almost two year, long project mean there are whole rooms in It has caused issues for people
marshmallow Peep sculpture who wished to visit campus but
from the administration stating that was Mund College Center it the basement of Mund that are
could only do so on Sundays.”
why and how far the tuition will also see the deconstruction not even being used anymore.”
Public Safety finally caught
Page 5 will increase for next semester. of that project within that same Krikorian and other administrators
the culprit through a successful
But what these letters failed to year. are putting into motion plans to
stakeout of the residential area
INDEX mention, as the decision was Tuition fees, which jumped return the college center to its
over the weekend.
News ..................................1-3 made after the letters were sent significantly in years past in order original state. “If it ain’t broke don’t
“We finally realized that the
Features ................................4 out, is that while some of the to fund the 13.3 billion dollar fix it, you know? I’m not entirely
student does this practically
Arts & Entertainment ............5 tuition increase will be devoted project will again take a turn for sure why we started on this whole
Perspectives...........................6 every weekend, so if we just
to building the Astroturf field the expensive in the 2012-2013 mess,” states Krikorian.
Sports ....................................7
and other projects around school year in order to fund the
Actual News............................8
campus a good size portion of deconstruction of the project. See MUND | Page 2 See MARAUDER | Page 3
M E M B E R PLEASE
WE WANT YOUR FEEDBACK [email protected] LVCLaVie x6169 FREE | TAKE ONE
RECYCLE
2 Luh Vee CoLLeegieann March 28, 2012
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PRESIDENT: Squirrelton to take office beginning of new semester L
Continued from Page 1 Some other minor changes that forward to a new Veterinarian
C A M P U S
Squirrelton hopes to introduce to concentration within the Biology
that President Squirrelton the college are the installation of department. He has also proposed
will bring to the college,” said nut dispensers around campus, a new first year seminar class based
sophomore Eliott Bonds. “I think as well as a playground for other on earth studies and promoting
having a squirrel as President will campus squirrels in the Peace green initiatives. Green Man and
be an interesting experience for Garden. Enviro-Boy are strong supporters CRIMEBOTCH
both the students and faculty.” Another change to be made of President Squirrelton.
Squirrelton hopes to bring many to the campus will include the “My mission as President of the
changes to the campus. One of the construction of crosswalks across college will be to strengthen the
biggest changes to the campus will Sheridan Ave. for other campus relationship between the students
be improving the health of the creatures. Squirrelton’s biggest on campus and the environment
All information courtesy of the Wizard of Oz
students by conducting annual change to the campus will be that surrounds them,” said
vaccinations for rabies and tests for converting the gold lot into a President Michael Q. Squirrelton. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * ** * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

nut allergies. Any student found to petting zoo.
be allergic to nuts must volunteer Squirrelton also hopes to
3-22-12 | Blair
as test subjects in the biology make changes to the college’s
Vandalism
department to help find a cure. curriculum. Squirrelton looks J. WHOPPER [email protected]
As a result of a drunken brawl, several instruments in Blair were destroyed
over the weekend. Unfortunately, LVC will not be able to cover the dam-
ValleyFest act replaced with Selena Gomez ages, and the culprits have not yet been identified.
3-25-12 | Funkhouser
W. Hazup ’14 on the edge of your seat as you you feel about bumping
Incident
Staff Writer read her graceful eloquence Secondhand Serenade off the
Students are advised not to drink out of the water fountains in Funkhous-
and her enthusiastic insight to ValleyFest program? er. Traces of urine have been found within the system. Experts are inves-
The rumors are true; our the music business: G: Who? tigating the issue, but the exact cause is unknown. Everything should be
cleared up within a week.
ValleyFest entertainment has L: Ok, well it was great
been upgraded. After Secondhand LaVie: Thank you so much having you here. I’m sure all
3-25-12 | Dellinger
Serenade somehow got on
for being here today! How was the students at LVC can’t wait
Incident
everyone’s last nerves before
the ride up to little Annville, to hear you perform for us in a Minor explosion in student apartment due to improper use of toaster. It is
March even ended, the ValleyFest
PA? few weeks. believed that the student tried to bake a potato using the toaster.
committee decided to take action.
Gomez: Uhm. It was good G: Omg thanks! That’s so
Reviewing the options that they
3-17-12 | Social Quad
began with, they realized that and stuff! The cows were like funny!
Emergency Assistance
selecting a brand new act seemed to so cute! L: Ok. Take care.
Student mauled by rabid pack of squirrels. Student flown to Hershey Medi-
be the only intelligent path. Instead L: Way to be relevant! Are cal Center with minor injuries.
of fairly talented soloist who can
you excited about playing Wow. What a visionary; a
actually play his own instruments
ValleyFest? genius. How did great bands
and sing rather well, LVC has hired Please report any suspicious activity to Public Safety at x6111.
G: Omg, I’m so excited. It’s like Nirvana and Green Day
the one and only Selena Gomez
kinda awesome. ever make it in the industry
to be the headliner at the 2012
Corrections & Clarifications
ValleyFest Celebration! L: Ah. Riveting. Well, where without her revolutionary
I know what you’re thinking: do you see yourself going with insight?
It is our continuing goal to provide readers with complete and ac-
how could little Lebanon Valley your music? Well, we hope everyone is curate information. To that end, please be kind. Some corrections
College possibly afford to house G: Well I’m a total dork, pleased with the new act for may hurt the feelings of our staff. Readers who wish to submit cor-
rections should send an email to [email protected], subject line: Cor-
such a prestigious vocalist in I go to the mall all the time, ValleyFest. Be sure to attend
rections. Please do so at your own risk.
the music industry? Believe it and I’m still a regular teenager Selena Gomez LVC debut, she
or not, young Selena agreed to so it’s like, I still get to like, be has certainly traveled so far. MUND: Renovations retooled
perform for a discounted price that, but I get to like, record ValleyFest is April 20-21, so
Continued from Page 1
of only $500k, so our yearly and stuff with music, so I’m mark your calendar now, and to mention the little hovel they
Students, however, are like to call a commuter lounge
tuition will only go up about still like a regular teenager, be sure to get tickets as soon as
up in arms about these new in the basement of Mund hasn’t
one or two thousand dollars but like, I get to do really cool possible; they WILL sell out.
developments. “I thought gotten any better. It is still the
each. Who could have guessed things and have like really cool If you want more information
tuition was expensive last year,” same dank, smelly, ill-furnished
that such an artist would be so experiences. about Selena Gomez go to
complains one anonymous room that it has always been
humble! L: Right, so where do you selenagomez.com and for student, “but $34,470 is and yet we still have to pay for
It doesn’t get much better see yourself going with your more information about this ridiculous! Why should we have these changes?” said one angry
than this, my fellow Annvillians! music? year’s ValleyFest, go to lvc. to pay for the fickleness of the commuter student.
administration?” It seems people here are of
But wait, there’s more! I’ve had G: I don’t know! I just want edu/valleyfest. This will be a
Commuter students are even two minds about this topic of
the intense pleasure of holding to have fun cause girls just want landmark year for Lebanon
more outraged by the prospect of change on campus, and if they
an exclusive interview with to have fun and like, I’m still a Valley College, so be sure to
the tuition increase. “We are the don’t start communicating
Miss Gomez about her plans teenager so I’m gonna write my invite your friends and family.
ones that really suffered during soon, much more than just the
for ValleyFest and her future own songs and have my own this whole process. Without the deconstruction of a building
career. Don’t bother sitting videos and just have fun! college center there really are may be taking place here.
down because you’ll just be L: Alright. Well how do W. HAZUP [email protected] very few places we can go. Not
M. RAPHONE [email protected]
Luh Vee CoLLeegieann MarCh 28, 2012 3
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ews
MARAUDER: Saturday night campus can caper canned Strange Bedfellows
Continued from Page 1 feel better,” he said. “I get drunk out, “The individual is being
on weekends to drown out suspended for a few weeks, How politics is affecting
simply stakeout at night my pitiful sorrows and then fined $2,500, and being made
around a couple of trash cans, to impress my friends and to to do community service contraception and ultrasounds
we could catch them in one show off how strong I am to the hours during the suspension
operation,” a public safety opposite sex, I use my muscles if remittance is wished by the
officer commented. The officer to knock over trash cans.” student.” Anita Summore ’14 Foster Friess, a millionaire
also stated their plan was called When asked whether “We didn’t want to expel the Staff Writer who contributes to the Red,
‘Operation Nighthawk.’ the person considers the individual, since we thought White, and Blue Fund supporting
However, the name of the issues that are caused by his the person was obviously On March 20, Idaho’s Rick Santorum’s candidacy, has
perpetrator of the trash can actions, the surprisingly open not emotionally stable and Republican dominated senate since offered a simpler method
incidents will not be given out responses continued with, thought if expulsion occurred voted 23 to 12 in favor of a bill of contraception that would cost
by the administration, over fear “Yeah, sometimes. But it just the person’s reaction could “requiring women to undergo much less than the ultrasound
that significant harm might seems cooler since I consider not be predicated,” said the a fetal ultrasound before procedures mentioned above.
come to the person. This is due it awesome since most of the administrator. terminating a pregnancy,” “Back in my days, they used
to retaliatory actions of campus campus didn’t know who it When asked where the according to a news briefing by Bayer aspirin for contraceptives.
members who may wish to turn was,” he said. “Also, I liked how community service would occur the Associated Press. The gals put it between their
the person into a weekend trash hard it made me seem to my and how long it would be in This bill would also require knees and it wasn’t that costly,”
can by “knocking them over and friends since I was being such duration, the administration Idaho’s Department of Health Friess said on MSNBC’s Andrea
spilling their contents across a problem and people couldn’t representative informed, and Welfare “to make available Mitchell Reports back in February.
the pavement.” do anything about it. What “200 hours will be expected a list of places in Idaho, typically Friess’s comment shocked
Exclusive access to interview can I say; I’m just a kid from at minimum to be readmitted anti-abortion health care not only Andrea Mitchell but a
the individual was given to the suburbs trying to show to campus. The hours will be centers, where those considering number of LVC students as well.
the paper under conditions of how tough I am to my friends. done in inner city Camden. We an abortion could get a free “Who does he think he is,
anonymity. Sometimes I dream at night and figured it would show to the ultrasound” and “submit to a telling us what we can do with
When asked why the person pretend I grew up in Compton ‘little badass’ just how hard the second ultrasound” if they were our bodies?” said a student who
did it, the individual’s response or Inglewood in the 80’s. I just person really is.” opting for abortion. asked to remain anonymous.
was, “I have massive personality wasn’t hugged enough as a child Score 1 for the administration, Idaho has since joined a “What was he, like 70? Next he’s
issues. I have major ego I guess.” and 0 for the attention seeking number of states that have going to tell us that he used to
problems and think very little After the administration college student. passed or supported transvaginal walk 7 miles through the snow
of myself. That’s why I knock was asked about what ultrasounds as a means of to get school, and it was uphill
over trash cans, to make myself punishment was being given A. LEMMIWINKS [email protected] reducing unwanted pregnancies both ways!” Friess’sextensive
and, some say, abortions. contraceptive plan will probably
In Texas, Governor Rick not be enacted soon, as he has
Perry supported a bill that would not yet told reporters what pills
require a woman seeking an men should be putting between
abortion to have an ultrasound their legs.
probe inserted in her vagina, Rick Santorum has also stated
HACC gives me
observe the fetus and listen to that he is “not a believer in birth
a smarter its heartbeat, sign an agreement control.” “It’s [Contraception’s]
with the doctor acknowledging not okay because it’s a license
that she understood the doctor’s to do things in the sexual realm
summer. lecture on the fetus, and then that is counter to how things
return the next day to have her are supposed to be. They’re
abortion. This bill has since been supposed to be for purposes
enacted. that are, yes, conjugal,... but also
Meanwhile, in Virginia, procreative,” Santorum said in
Governor Bob McDowell a recent interview. Santorum
dropped his support for a bill has previously expressed similar
that would define personhood views about contraception.
Take day, evening or online classes at HACC at conception and require During a 2006 interview,
and pick up extra credits for less cost. women seeking an abortion he “went on to say that it’s not

to undergo “a more physically just a moral sense, but a public
FIRST SUMMER SESSION
invasive transvaginal ultrasound policy issue, too, indicating
6 and 12 week sessions begin May 21
in the cases of early pregnancy.” the government has a role in
8 week session begins June 18
Virginia’s senators have since contraception policy.”
SECOND SUMMER SESSION changed the personhood act, Analysts believe that Rick
6 week session begins July 2 as it’s called, so that it would Santorum has interpreted the old
“require an external abdominal truism, “Politics makes strange
www.hacc.edu
ultrasound instead of the bedfellows,” to mean, “The
more invasive transvaginal government shouldn’t interfere
Harrisburg One HACC Drive 780.2400 | Gettysburg 337.3855 | Lancaster 293.5000
procedure” and “women would in any part of our lives except for
Lebanon 270.4222 | York 718.0328 | Virtual Campus 221.1300 ext 1510
be free to decline” the doctor’s our beds.”
HACC does not discriminate in admission or employment on the basis of race, color, religion, political affiliation or belief, age, sex, suggestion for the more invasive That may be a policy none of
national origin, ancestry, non-job-related disability, place of birth, General Education Development Certificate (GED), marital status,
sexual orientation, or veteran status. method. However, debates on us would want to back.
FOR MORE INFORMATION VISIT US AT WWW.HACC.EDU/SUMMER the personhood act have been
suspended for at least a year. A. SUMMORE [email protected]
4 Luh Vee CoLLeegieann March 28, 2012
Features
PHOTO OF THE WEEK Overheard in the
LVC Alumni Spotlight
La Vie Office:
Aside from the fact that
the background image on
Schroeder Freude ‘50, was a music major and accomplished pianist at both of our Dell computers
LVC. After spending some time at Juilliard, he went on a nationwide concert is a picture of Steve Jobs,
tour that was sold out in every city it stopped except Cleveland. Soon after, the first thing that people
however, he fell upon hard times. Like his hero, Beethoven, he experienced notice when they walk into
severe hearing loss in both ears, much to the chagrin of his wife, with whom our office is the infamous
quote wall.
he recently divorced.
“When the best headline you
1. Could you describe how your life has changed after graduating from LVC?
can come up with at 12:46
AM for a story about a flood
I toured the country performing with several orchestras, but developed
is ‘It was a dark and stormy
chronic carpal tunnel after a few months. I was unable to play for about a
night,’ it’s time to go to bed.”
year and this made me rather blue. I went to a psychologist to discuss my
-Rosemary
problems and ended up marrying her. For her it was a conflict of interest; for
me it was a lack of foresight. I should have just talked to Chuck.”
“I’m okay with some people
hating me.” -Justin
2. Who is your current employer and how did your major prepare you for
your specific job?
“Caption: A group of
protestors stand outside of a
“Currently, I am unemployed. I gave most of my money to my alma ma- building.”-Russell
ter – I think they used those funds to build Mund. My education certainly
helped me with my time performing; hopefully, I’ll be back out there soon.” “What are we going to do
with the white space on page
3. What experience(s) do your remember most from your college days? two?“ -Rosemary
“Well, Steve Jobs just died,
“I remember spending long hours practicing, my time in sculpting class, let’s put his picture there.”
-Justin
and playing catcher for the baseball team.”
On empathy story: “Maybe
4. If you had one regret (something you did or didn’t do) from your LVC
the irony is that we don’t care
experience, what would that be?
Fabio Jones/LA VIE
enough to read it.” -Rosemary
WHERE DID IT GO? This box, labeled “Police Box,” appeared on
“I wish I would have listened to my professors more; however, they all Sunday, March 25 in front of North College. Students returning “Bad Headline: Art class
sounded the same to me.” from choir tour noticed the foreign object and immediately con- supports genocide.” -Justin
tacted Public Safety, but when they returned, the box was gone.
C. BROWN [email protected] Students are left to wonder where it came from and where it went. “I know a lot of fictional
people.” -Amy
Several beloved professors announce retirement plans “Come to the meeting every
week... FOOLS.” -Roger
Nick Alodean ‘15 Cornelius, in Welcome Bay, just Dr. Grieve-Carlson is retiring to a man or woman can rise above the “We ran that story last
week.”-Rosemary
La Vie Staff Writer outside of Tauranga. Kia ora.” pursue Fantasy Baseball full-time. level of economic success attained
“We were selfish!”-Justin
Despite his love for LVC, he can no “I’ve found that by committing by his or her parents and create an
It turns out that rumors of a mass longer hold himself back from his myself to baseball statistics, I can enduring legacy of greatness.”
“Roger made a James Bond
retiring of professors are true. Dr. even larger love for New Zealand. regularly finish in the money in Dr. Samuel is also retiring to
reference in his story, so he
Mecham, Music department chair, Dr. Rudd’s reasons for most fantasy baseball leagues, and finally achieve a personal dream.
wins the awesome award for
; Dr. Rudd, Business department retirement are more political than I believe that by doing Fantasy After years of trying, he and his
the week.” -Rosemary
chair;, Dr. Grieve-Carlson, English personal, choosing to resurrect Baseball full-time I’ll actually earn band the “3-2-5’s” have finally
professor; and Dr. Samuel, Digital a third party movement for the quite a bit more money than I earn landed a record deal and are going
“If I’m dead on the floor when
Communications professor have Presidency. “It has come time for teaching English at LVC, so I’ll be to begin touring soon. “I have
you come back, I actually read
all announced their retirement to me to finally accomplish my dream better able to pay for the college enjoyed my time at LVC, but the
the story. “ -Justin
La Vie. of becoming the Straight Talking educations for my three children. stage is finally calling my name. I
Dr. Mecham has decided to American Government Party (the And what would be more enjoyable hope to be a good model for LVC “Just so you know, you just
return to New Zealand, where he STAG party) nominee for the next than sitting down every morning students in showing that anybody changed the color scheme of
plans to help tend their 40 million presidential election.” with a pot of coffee and simply can accomplish their dreams no a page to match the beer cups
sheep. “I was lucky enough to lead This is the same STAG party reading baseball boxscores?” He matter what they are,” said Samuel. in the movie poster on A&E.”
the LVC semester-abroad program that comedian Pat Paulson from looks forward to his pending Good luck to each of you and -Rosemary
to the University of Waikato the Smother’s Brothers, the greatness in the Fantasy Baseball don’t forget your time at LVC. You
in Hamilton NZ in 2004,” said Monkees television show and field and hopes to make his family will surely be missed in the 2012- (*singing*): “Article text,
Mecham. “It’s time to go back to others. Paulson ran for President proud. “That’s what makes this 2013 year and even after that. article text! Where did all of
that island paradise, joining former in 1968, 1972, 1976 and other country great: that on the basis of this article text come from?”
-Russell
chemistry department chair, Dick occasions. a knowledge of baseball boxscores,
N. ALODEAN [email protected]
Luh Vee CoLLeegieann March 28, 2012 5
Arts & Entertainment

“Tebowmania” hits Broadway this fall, show sold out
Mark Sanchez, the incumbent when the quarterback steps to center More familial relations and poor they paid to be in the play) giving
Pep T. O’Bismol ‘13
starter, while convincing in his scenes stage. acting pervade the play, especially emphatic, earnest performances that
Staff Writer
where he looks over his shoulder “I’m just trying to help the team in the scene where John Elway, are Tony- or at least player-of-the-
In director Rex Ryan’s new – and later when he looks moody win,” Tebow says. Tebow’s former boss, speaks about week-worthy.
project, “Tebowmania, Part Deux: while sitting on the bench – fails By the third act (the third quarter the separation of the Church of Kaycee Robertson plays a
Timothy Converts New Jersey”, to capture the audience’s attention of the Jets season-opener), Sanchez Tebow from the State of Colorado. “Lutheran student ministry director
many of the actors seem to be while attempting to actually play the is thoroughly nonplussed, both “You hate some decisions you from Minneapolis” who serenades
unaware of much of the script – and position. Instead, his performance by the playbook and the crowd’s have to make in football. But that the quarterback via You Tube in her
of any form of decent acting. The seems laughable, with his only continued chants of “we want doesn't prevent you from making self-produced song, “Marry Me, Tim
premise seems simple: a young, credible actions coming during Tebow.” In one scene, he dissolves them," Elway says, referring to Tebow.” Two of her eight roommates
god-fearing quarterback leaves (ironically) play-action or while into believable tears as the curtain replacing Tebow with the almost- (played by Jennifer Lind and Jill
Colorado for New Jersey after being handing the ball off. closes and the lights dim. Titan Peyton Manning. "You do Miller) sing backup as Robertson
supplanted by a football demi-god. Tebow’s motions could also be Despite all this, many of the what's best for your team. But that croons, “I glanced, and saw that you
Along the way, he must deal with described as “truncated” or “robotic” players reneged on reading the doesn't take away the heartache. don’t have a wedding ring.” Later, she
the spotlight of New York and the as the production begins. As the playbook. In act one, cornerback You're dealing with human beings. It announces her undying – and for most
absence of a decent running game. show develops, however, he becomes Antonio Cromartie tweets, "Y bring hurts." of the play, unrequited – love for Tebow
His coach also swears a lot – of the saving grace of the otherwise Tebow in when we need to bring in No audience would believe that. stating, “he’s easy on the eyes.”
which he notably never partakes – to depressing play. more Weapons for @Mark_Sanchez Elway, however, continues the In another scene of “Tebow-love,”
which he is forced to reply: "I've had The final act is flush with let's build the team around him. We break-up speech with stale vigor: written by Mark Long, lifelong
so much respect for Coach Ryan. ... dramatic scenes that highlight the already signed to 3 year ext.” “Tim Tebow is a great kid. If I want Tebow-fan Mike Beattie is queried
You're not going to have the cleanest passer-proselyte’s progression as Cromartie, who – in the play – someone to marry my daughter, it by his wife about the change in teams.
language in a locker room, so I'm not both a quarterback and city hero. fathers “seven children by six women would be him.” Upon hearing the news that Tim is
too worried about that." In one scene, Tebow faces in five states,” remains critical of the “Tebowmania, Part Deux” does traded to New York, Beattie’s wife
The lead, Tim Tebow (who is the man who drafted him, Josh Tebow throughout the sixteen-act experience some highs, however asks, “Do we have to start rooting for
played by himself), is simply a good McDaniels, when the Jets meet the performance. – even after leaving the Mile-High the Jets?”
guy. He is so annoyingly decent rival Patriots in a game of heated, However, rarely does he read City. Tebow’s fervent fan base is – “I guess so,” responds Beattie.
that even the guy he replaces once disputable calls and clutch, well- his lines well, often erroneously literally – religious. The group of Shows run throughout the fall
arriving in the Big Apple, Drew lighted plays. pluralizing the number of wins the actors who portray the “Tebowites” and winter. Jeremy Lin makes a guest
Stanton, can’t even seem to hate him. Tebow is prosaic and tepid Jets have during the season and is the one team that actually earns performance on Sept. 30.
(Stanton is later traded to Cleveland until the fourth act; the lighting is forgetting several of his children’s their paychecks (Ironically, none
for cash considerations.) amplified at this point, and that’s names. of those actors were paid. In fact, P. O’BISMOL [email protected]
Boy band reunites for tour
Lance Bass. Once Bass confirmed of their hits like “Tearing Up My
Squeegee Beckenheim ‘15
rumors that the group had offi- Heart,” “It’s Gonna Be Me,” and
Staff Writer
cially disbanded in 2007, it seemed “This I Promise You.” Aside from
Let’s be honest: we all miss that all hope was lost. However, in the chart-topping singles, the group
*NSYNC. There’s no point trying mid-February, *NSYNC revealed is working on some new songs that
to deny such a blatantly obvious that they were planning a reunion they intend to perform for the first
guilty pleasure. Even if it’s only for tour for this spring. When the Val- time at ValleyFest.
nostalgic reasons, whenever “Bye leyFest committee heard the news, When asked how she feels
Bye Bye” blasts out of the speakers, they immediately contacted the about the performance, freshman
it’s impossible to fight the urge to band’s manager, even though it Jennie Upton remarked, “I’m pretty
dance. Fortunately, all those sleep- seemed like a long shot. As it turns excited about it. *NSYNC was one
less nights spent longing for just out, an anonymous member of the of my favorite bands when I was
one more single will no longer be. committee is related to Joey Fatone. a kid.” Most LVC students, espe-
After ten years of silence, *NSYNC Beginning the reunion tour at cially the girls, feel the same way
has finally announced a reunion LVC seemed like a gradual way because *NSYNC was such a big
tour, which will be launched at for *NSYNC to assimilate back part of their childhood.
LVC’s ValleyFest. into the music industry. Of course, Frosted tips and boy bands may
The decade-long hiatus left die- ValleyFest will draw a huge crowd be out of style, but that doesn’t
hard fans stumbling through life this year because *NSYNC was mean *NSYNC can’t make a full
with no reason left to live. Music so popular during the late ‘90s to recovery as a respected facet of to-
lost all meaning without heart early ‘00s. According to their man- day’s music industry.
throbs like Justin Timberlake and ager, the band plans to perform all
S. BECKENHEIM [email protected]
6 Luh Vee CoLLeegieann MarCh 28, 2012
P
ersPectives
Letters to the Editor
Lindsay’s (inner) Voices:
La Vie Collegienne requires all
Letters to the Editor to contain the
author’s name, telephone number,
and e-mail address. No initials or pen
names will be accepted. La Vie does What do you want to do with your life?
not publish any anonymous letters.
Telephone numbers and email ad-
dresses are required for verification.
They will not be printed.
Letters should be no longer than
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become property of La Vie Collegi-
enne. La Vie reserves the right to edit
for length, accuracy, and clarity. Sub-
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Letters, columns, and opinion-
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Valley College.
Submissions may be e-mailed to
[email protected], hand-delivered to our
Mund office, submitted to lavieonline.
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below.
La Vie Collegienne “I don’t even know how to “I wanted to do what “Marriage is a big deal, but “I want to go to Egypt and
ATTN: La Vie Editors
take a break, because I go crazy. Marilyn Monroe did (during who’s to say I’m not going to Japan and open orphanages-
101 N. College Ave.
Annville, PA 17003 I just sit in a room and I don’t the Korean War), when pull a ‘Vegas’ and get married --a chain of them.”
Advertise with know what to do. I went to the she went and just set up a just to get married and see
La Vie Metropolitan Museum and stage and did a concert for what it’s like for a minute?”
just sat there. But they didn’t the troops all by herself. It’s
Recruit for your student orga- take any pictures of that, which so amazing seeing that one
nization. Sell your old junk ...
sucks, because that would have woman just going somewhere,
or that ugly sweater from your Compiled by
grandmother. Say hi to your been more interesting than this beautiful sex kitten, who’s Prove A. Lonechize [email protected]
lover. (maybe not that last part) pictures of me coming out of basically a pinup, which is
a club.” what I’ve always aspired to be.”
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Opinionated:
Established 1924
Winner of two
Pennsylvania Newspaper
Association 2012 Keystone Press Students, staff combat “grade creep”
Awards
CO-EDITORS
Rosemary Bucher ’14
Justin Roth ’14
Bea Range ‘13 will graduate and be unable to find percent will receive a B, the next student, “Our grades should be
FEATURES EDITOR Staff Writer a job, or worse yet, be unable to twenty percent will receive a C, the based on our own personal merit,
Nicki Shepski ’15
For those students with perform in their chosen field. next twenty-five, a D and an entire not on how we compare to our
A&E EDITOR
Sarah Marino ’14 scholarships and athletics on Professor John Gibble, an twenty-nine percent will receive fellow students.” Whether or not
their minds, grades are extremely Adjunct Instructor of Sociology, an F regardless of their actual this proposal makes any kind of
PERSPECTIVES EDITOR
Now Accepting Applications important. In order to be able to in response to this dilemma, has percent correct. “In this way, the sense it is already meeting with a
SPORTS EDITOR participate they must keep their developed as system in which grade curve will better reflect the large amount of opposition and
Dan Callahan ’14
grades up and so the fact that grades will be assigned in order way that wages in the real world disapproval. If this idea is accepted
SENIOR COPY EDITOR Lebanon Valley College’s student to better reflect the real world. In work.” states Gibble in defense it would be set up so that it can go
Alyssa Sweigart ’12
grades are higher than average a perfect world, the grades would of his proposal, “It is sad but true into effect at the beginning of next
CIRCULATION MANAGER
is a positive thing. However, follow a perfect Bell Curve with that a very small number of people school year but even if it is not
Sarah Frank ’14
President MacDonald and ten percent achieving a grade of F, control a very large amount of accepted now, it is not completely
BUSINESS MANAGER
Eliott Bonds ’14 other administrators have raised twenty percent achieving a grade of money, while the majority of off the table. One administrator
concerns that perhaps the reason D, forty percent C, twenty percent people are just struggling to meet a noted that, “It certainly does have
CORRESPONDANCE MANAGER
Now Accepting Applications student grades are so high is that B and ten percent A. However, certain standard of living.” some good points, I mean the real
ADVISER test questions are too easy or that with the present system forty-five This idea has been proposed world is all about competition. But
Robert E. Vucic
professors are too easily giving percent of grades fall in the B-range, to the President of the College my problem with it is that while
La Vie Collegienne is published every out higher grades and extra credit skewing the curve higher than who has said only that he will these students may always be in
Wednesday of the academic year. and the negative effects that can average. In the proposed system, “consider it most carefully.” But a situation where competition is
Meetings are held Mondays at 5:15 have. Their fear is that as “grade the top fifteen percent of the class many students who have heard necessary, it may not necessarily be
p.m. in our Mund office, activities creep” continues to grow, more will receive an A, regardless of their of this idea are outraged. “This against each other.”
room #3. We’re always looking for and more under-qualified students actual percentage, the next eleven is not fair!” says one anonymous
B. Range [email protected]
new writers!
Luh Vee CoLLeegieann March 28, 2012 7
S
portS
Annual football
game against rival
Albright moved to
neutral site
Sara-Ann Wrap Unfortunately, this development
Staff Writer is not new in the world of sports
rivalries. This past year, two
crosstown rivals, Xavier and
A major announcement has
Cincinnati, were involved in a
recently been made through
late game brawl where punches
a joint press conference by
and kicks were thrown. That
Lebanon Valley College and
incident resulted in numerous
Albright College’s athletic
suspensions for players on both
departments. From now until a
teams. The head coach from
new determination is made, the
Cincinnati even remarked if some
annual football games between
players would ever return to the
the institutions will be played at
team or if even he would have a
a neutral site. This is as opposed
job in the next impending days.
BOUNTIES Ethan Grodzinski plays his match before injuring the opposing player GoDutchmen.com to the alternating home games
Another infamous moment in
between the two schools.
sports rivalries is when a Giant’s
Tennis team employs possible The issue to spur this change
fan was attacked after a game
has been the increasing hostility
by rival Dodger fans and almost
between the two college’s fans
beaten to death. The man went
at the annual football games. A
bounty program into a coma, and is now currently
spokesperson from the athletic
in physical rehabilitation.
department stated, “Every
For next year, the annual
sequential year for some time,
game will be played at Franklin
hostilities and incidents between
& Marshall College’s football
our two crowds increased and
John Deere had a pretty good system going, the kneecap. It’s not something field located in Lancaster. The
has now reached an unacceptable
Sports Editor but all good things must come I’d normally do, but I had to do site is 25 miles (approximately a
level,” the spokesperson said.
to an end, right?” what I had to do.” 48 minute drive) from Lebanon
“We are academic institutions
An investigation has been After further investigation, Van Scyoc also wanted to get Valley College and 36.5 miles
that try to promote unity and
launched at Lebanon Valley players have admitted in on the action, and did so by (approximately a 42 minute
community, so we (LVC and
College, surfacing around the to be receiving plenty of using an illegal playing ball. drive) from Albright College.
Albright) both felt that while
men’s tennis team. accommodations for being Midway through the match, The site of Franklin and Marshall
sacrificing the annual games was
From what it looks like, the apart of this program. Rewards Van Scyoc sneakily pulled a was chosen since it was arguably
going too far, it would be best
New Orleans Saints weren’t for showing unsporting like golf ball out of his pocket and the most fair in terms of travel
for all involved if the games were
the only team to have a bounty conduct include extra credit in served it instead of a tennis ball. between the two schools. Other
moved to a natural site to tone
program in place. general education classes, a cut After nailing his opponent in historic collegiate rivalries
feelings down.”
After the men’s tennis team in tuition, and free subs at the the forehead, King’s was unable have been played at neutral site
Recent examples from past
romped King’s in their St. Dutchmen Den. to continue and LVC received a stadiums with much success
games which prompted the
Patrick’s Day match up, many Head coach Dave Remsburg forfeited win. such as Florida-Georgia and
neutral site implementation
spectators and officials were has been suspended indefinitely. It is uncertain whether Army-Navy. The belief is by both
were foul signs from both sides,
disgusted by the style of play In a statement he released, he Remsburg will return as coach schools is that the rivalry could
curses words and explicit chants,
the men exhibited. There said, “I am truly sorry for the next season, but one thing is uphold such a distinction and
shoving matches between rival
were racquets being thrown, players careers and feelings that for certain: If the New Orleans actually enhance the game from
students, and a beer bottle being
insults being shouted, and even myself and my players have hurt, Saints inspired one college both college’s trying to outdo
broken over a spectators head at
different types of balls being and the athletics department tennis team to have a bounty one another by bringing a larger
last year’s game. Officials feared
used. will be glad to pay any medical program, what’s their to say crowd.
that the current trend would
Roger Van Scyoc, a senior bills.” other teams don’t have one The 2013 football game site is
continue until someone required
tennis player, admitted to these In their match against either? still to be determined but hopes
serious medical attention after a
allegations validity. King’s, doubles partners Ethan are from both colleges is that
brawl and the schools would have
“Our head coach is a Saints Grodzinski and Van Scyoc the site of Franklin and Marshall
to stop the annual game. Also,
fan, and after hearing what teamed up to take out their proves to be a destination to
the fear was that since players
they did to intentionally hurt opponents. return to in the future.
many times feed off of the fan
players for cash rewards, he “After they scored their first
atmosphere, the unsportsmanlike
thought it could be beneficial to point, I just threw my racquet at
qualities in the stands would
our season as well,” stated Van them as hard as possible,” said
creep onto the football field. S. WRAP [email protected]
Scyoc after a recent match. “We Grodzinski. “It hit him right in J. DEERE [email protected]
8 La Vie CoLLegienne March 28, 2012
N
ews
Student Government Updates 3.26.12 L
Nick Thrailkill ’14 review the pilot program for spe- elections will be set up in Mund C A M P U S
Staff Writer cial parking for student teachers for lunch and dinner today and
and interns to decide whether to Thursday and for lunch Friday.
On March 26, Student Gov- renew it in the fall. SG Advisor Todd Snovel also said
ernment convened for its ninth Krikorian said that he and Fa- that the Middle States Re-Accred-
meeting of the semester to meet cilities would need to raise extra itation Board had completed its
with Vice-President Greg Kriko- funds to add lights to the new As- survey of LVC, and made some CRIMEWATCH
rian about campus issues and troturf field outside Mund. Kriko- suggestions for improvement in
updates, vote on full club status rian and SG members also dis- some areas that were reviewed.
for French Club and probation- cussed the possibility of installing SG’s service project with HAC’s
ary club status for Paintball Club, new tennis courts and an outdoor SG, the matinee of The Princess
and discuss plans for the store- basketball court. Bride at the Allen Theater on April
All information courtesy of the LVC Department of Public Safety
front of Annville, nominations for French Club presented for full 28th, will take place at 11:30 a.m.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * ** * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
SG elections, the Middle States club status at Monday’s meeting, instead of 1:30 p.m.
Re-Accreditation Board results, and SG granted them full club sta- Accessibility Task Force Chair
issues with the sidewalk near Nei- tus. Paintball Club presented for Roberto Valdes said that he would 3-24-12 | Quad
dig-Garber, and Cystic Fibrosis probationary club status, and SG discuss a concern about the side- Disturbance
sign-ups. granted them probationary club walk near Neidig-Garber with Se-
Vice-President Krikorian be- status. nior Director of Facilities Manage- 3-25-12 | Mund
gan the meeting by congratulating Humphries mentioned that ment Donald Santostefano. Fire Alarm
SG for this work during Dutch- LVC is currently helping An- The sign-ups for Cystic Fibrosis Fog machine triggered alarm
man Day, and SG President Ryan nville Township to renovate the began in the Mund lobby Monday
Humphries says that he will be storefront of Annville with shops and will continue for the rest of 3-26-12 | Mund
available to talk to students who and boutiques through a five-year this week and into next week. Fire Alarm
raised concerns about the sched- grant.
uling of Dutchman Day. Kriko- SG Advisor Jen Evans said that 3-27-12 | Red Lot - West
Incident
rian also asked SG members to a table for nominations for SG N. THRAILKILL [email protected]
Minor damage to bottom of vehicle
DUTCHMAN DAY 2012
Please report any suspicious activity to Public Safety at x6111.
Justin Roth ’14 / LA VIE
Corrections & Clarifications
It is our continuing goal to provide readers with complete and ac-
curate information. To that end, we welcome and encourage noti-
fication of any mistakes. Readers who wish to submit corrections
should send an email to [email protected], subject line: Corrections.
Happy April
Fools’ Day!
We hope you
enjoyed pages 1-7
Rosemary & Justin