Kiss or Kill: Confessions of a Serial Climber

220 Pages·2002·3.02 MB·English

by  Mark Twight

“[Twight] is brutally honest, and nobody, including his friends or himself, is safe
from his high standards and criticism. Many of these [collected pieces] are gems
and shed new light on his earlier work…. This is literature about the soul of
alpinism, not a blow-by-blow account of climbing drudgery from some tourist
peak bagger.”
—Rock & Ice
“The character who emerges [in Kiss or Kill] is a walking cautionary tale, one
who has given in to his climbing obsession—to be the hardest man on the hill—
and is willing to pay dearly.”
—Outside
“Deeply personal, arrogant, grandiose, thrilling and unapologetic, this record of
[Twight's] career will gratify and repel extreme athletes, their admirers, and their
detractors.”
—Publishers Weekly
“With chapter titles such as ‘House of Pain’ and ‘I Hurt, Therefore I Am,’ no
one would mistake Twight for a member of the Von Trapp family…. A bracing
tonic for us desk-bound wussies.”
—Pittsburgh Tribune-Review
“Twight's writing may be as risky as the routes he's climbed. I enjoyed reading
what I would not dare write myself. [It's] an accurate, painfully honest, and
sometimes uncomfortable account of the price he paid for climbing at the highest
level.”
—John Bouchard, Ice Climbing Prophet, Paragliding Pioneer, and Alpine
Climbing Iconoclast
“Most mountaineering literature reads like a cross between forensic pathology
and the Hardy Boys. Just as punk music ripped a hole in the dead world of
eighties rock, Twight's punk-fueled writing put the soul back into climbing
literature. One copy of Kiss or Kill is worth hundreds of times more than all the
Everest dreck put together.”
—Will Gadd, Mixed Climbing Visionary, 2000 Ice World Cup Champion,
Paragliding Distance Record Holder 1999 (180 miles)
“Climbing can be as addictive as heroin, and sometimes just as dangerous.
Twight pulls you into his world of fear, death, and brief, impossible highs—then
won't let you go. A fascinating and often disturbing glimpse into obsession.”
—Kyle Mills, author of Free Fall and Burn Factor
KISS OR KILL
MARK TWIGHT

CONFESSIONS OF A
SERIAL CLIMBER
Published by
The Mountaineers Books
1001 SW Klickitat Way, Suite 201
Seattle, WA 98134
© 2001 by Mark Twight
All rights reserved
Cloth: First printing 2001
Paper: First printing 2001, second printing 2002, third printing 2004, fourth printing 2005, fifth printing
2007, sixth printing 2008, seventh printing 2009, eighth printing 2010
No part of this book may be reproduced in any form, or by any electronic, mechanical, or other means,
without permission in writing from the publisher.
Distributed in the United Kingdom by Cordee, www.cordee.co.uk
Manufactured in the United States of America
Project Editor: Kathleen Cubley
Editor: Paula Thurman
Cover and book design: Ani Rucki
Layout: Alice C. Merrill
All photos by the author unless otherwise noted
Front and back cover photographs by Brooks Freehill
Frontispiece: The Rupal Face of Nanga Parbat, Pakistan
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Kiss or kill: confessions of a serial climber / Mark Twight.—1st ed.
p. cm.
ISBN 0-89886-763-0 (cloth)
ISBN 0-89886-887-4 (paper)
1. Twight, Mark, 1961-2. Mountaineers—United States—Biography. I. Title: Confessions of a serial
climber. II. Title.
GV199.92.T87 A3 2001
796.52’2’092—dc21
00-012356
CIP
Printed on recycled paper
ISBN (paperback): 978-0-89886-887-6
ISBN (ebook): 978-0-89886-919-4
To
LISA,
my woman,
AND ZUMA,
who reigns.
CONTENTS
Foreword by Brian Enos
Introduction
SOLO ON THE CHARMOZ
KISS OR KILL
GLITTER AND DESPAIR
THE REALITY BATH (A FRAGMENT)
THE RISE AND FALL OF THE AMERICAN ALPINIST
I HURT, THEREFORE I AM
THE ABATTOIR
HEAVEN NEVER LAUGHED
MY WAY: A SHORT TALK WITH TOMO CESEN
PERESTROIKA CARPET RIDE
AGAINST THE GRAIN
HOUSE OF PAIN
A LIFETIME BEFORE DEATH
DISTANT WARNING
THE REFERENCE POINT: INTERVIEW WITH JEAN-CHRISTOPHE
LAFAILLE
NO TIME TO CRY
THIS IS WHAT YOU WANT, THIS IS WHAT YOU GET
TWITCHING WITH TWIGHT
CHAMONIX: OVER THE TOP OR UNDER THE GROUND
VOICE OF DISSENT—DR. DOOM DISSES TRADITIONAL VALUES
SMOKE GETS IN YOUR EYES
VOICE OF DISSENT—COMPETITION RUINS THE FREE-FOR-ALL
THE GIFT THAT KEEPS ON GIVING
JUSTIFICATION FOR AN ELITIST ATTITUDE—DEFINING
CONSCIOUSNESS ON DENALI'S CZECH DIRECT
What's in a Title?
Acknowledgments
FOREWORD
I first met Mark on a pistol range in Colorado. Even as a novice his movements
were fluid and smooth. I saw the same effortless manner while rock climbing
with him and some friends a few years later, as if he were part of the mountain.
As I watched him train with the pistol, I could see he had it: the ability to listen,
assimilate, and execute. Although our paths of expression differ, I realized our
driving force is the same—to master our personal environments, whatever the
conditions at the moment.
Curious, I asked what attracted a professional climber to pistol training. He
said his best climbs were accompanied by a feeling of becoming one with the
environment. At his best, he was the environment. I understood his answer. “I”
disappear during an impeccable performance. He said this feeling, if it arrived at
all, typically followed six months of training, two months in a foreign country,
and acclimatizing at altitude for two weeks. He found he could challenge himself
in a similar way while training and competing with a pistol without leaving the
state. This comment surprised me. I figured climbers would believe nothing
challenged you like the fear of death. At that point I knew Mark had realized that
fear takes different forms depending on the individual. Life is fear: fear of alpine
climbing, fear of competition, fear of failure, fear of death. Mark found a way to
grapple with his personal fears without being “Mark the Climber.”
We were talking after a pistol competition and one of the top shooters was
joking and clowning around. Later I asked Mark, “You probably have those kind
of guys in climbing, right?” His quick reply: “Not that are still alive.” There is a
saying I learned while road racing motorcycles, “When the green flag drops, the
bullshit stops.” While this holds true in all forms of human endeavor, I can't
think of a better analogy than extreme alpinism. However, in Mark's case there is
no bullshit to drop—he is pure action.
A friend and I were looking through Mark's book Extreme Alpinism:
Climbing, Light, Fast, & High. She commented that Mark doesn't seem like the
type of guy who would do the extreme climbing depicted in the book. Just
looking at the pictures is overwhelming. The average person can't even imagine
what it would take to attempt those situations, let alone survive them. That is
Mark—he doesn't display his climbing ego in order to justify his self-worth.