Kevin Ahern's Wildly Popular Metabolic Melodies PDF
Preview Kevin Ahern's Wildly Popular Metabolic Melodies
Kevin Ahern’s Wildly Popular Metabolic Melodies This is the complete collection of Kevin Ahern's Wildly Popular Metabolic Melodies as of March 12, 2022. The link page for individual melodies is http://www.davincipress.com My Many Merry Melodies is available at http://www.lulu.com/shop/kevin-ahern/my-many-merry-melodies/paperback/ product-23425848.html “Rhymes and Misdemeanors” is available at https://www.lulu.com/en/us/shop/kevin-ahern/ rhymes-and-misdemeanors/paperback/product-1pgjzqr8.html “Limericks Come Alive!” is available at https://www.lulu.com/en/us/shop/j-raymond- davidson-and-kevin-ahern/limericks-come-alive/paperback/product-1g2pe772.html “A Limerick a Day For a Year” is available at http://www.lulu.com/shop/kevin-ahern/a- limerick-a-day-for-a-year/paperback/product-20580652.html “A Limerick a Day For Another Year” is available at http://www.lulu.com/shop/kevin-ahern/a-limerick-a-day-for-another-year/paperback/ product-21361729.html “A Limerick a Day For a Third Year” is available at https://www.lulu.com/shop/kevin- ahern/a-limerick-a-day-for-a-third-year/paperback/product-21959393.html “A Limerick a Day for a Fourth Year” is available at http://www.lulu.com/shop/http:// www.lulu.com/shop/kevin-ahern/a-limerick-a-day-for-a-fourth-year/paperback/ product-22439562.html “A Limerick a Day for a Fifth Year” is available at http://www.lulu.com/shop/kevin-ahern/a-limerick-a-day-for-a-fifth-year/paperback/ product-22990649.html “A Limerick a Day for a Sixth Year” is available at http://www.lulu.com/shop/kevin-ahern/a-limerick-a-day-for-a-sixth-year/paperback/ product-23361989.html “Kevin Ahern’s 1001 Punniest Limericks” is available at http://www.lulu.com/shop/ kevin-ahern/kevin-aherns-1001-punniest-limericks/paperback/product-21732984.html Please let me know if the melodies are fun and useful to you. My email address is [email protected] Kevin Ahern’s Wildly Popular Metabolic Melodies (www.davincipress.com) Page 1 of 427 The Time It Is A-Changin’ Copyright © 2022 Kevin Ahern (to the tune of “The Times They Are A-Changin’) Come listen up folks in the US of A Who are noticing winter is slipping away And accept it is true clocks can change what they say No matter the outcomes circadian You had better get with it or a price you will pay For the time it is a-changin’ Go set those clocks forward or be late all day Get started right now cuz tomorrow’s Monday Such a zombie you’ll be and it won’t go away No matter how much you’re exclaimin’ The hour lost now will come back one fall day Oh the time it is a-changin’ So calm down your anger, ’tis useless to fight Leap forward not backward to decrease your nights Though you curse old Ben Franklin with all of your might And his thoughts on clock rearrangin’ It’s the time of the year to be saving daylight Oh the time it is a-changin’ Kevin Ahern’s Wildly Popular Metabolic Melodies (www.davincipress.com) Page 2 of 427 Oh Glaucoma! Copyright © 2021 Kevin Ahern (to the tune of “Oklahoma!”) Oh glaucoma! You reduce the vision of our eyes Everyone should know When the pressures grow Best to do what the doctors advise With glaucoma There’s dorzolamide they’ll give to you And Zioptan’s great if you tolerate And if not, go see OH-SU When med-icines don’t do their thing The person to see’s Doctor Ing Her surgery-y-y-y-y-y Trabeculectomy-y-y-y-y-y It’s important to Lessen progression of blindness Oh glaucoma! G-L-A-U-C-O-M-A Oh glaucoma! Go away! Kevin Ahern’s Wildly Popular Metabolic Melodies (www.davincipress.com) Page 3 of 427 The Light of Darkness Copyright © 2021 Kevin Ahern (to the tune of “The Sound of Silence” Hello darkness my old friend Standard time is back again All the clocks moved back an hour slow Best to check them twice before you go And the sunshine That had brightened up my day Has gone away There is no light in darkness Some say light’s not gone away Shifted sooner in the day Shadows growing with each passing hour Changing attitudes from sweet to sour But we all succumb to the best of autumn’s charms Late alarms When we trade light for darkness As for me, I do not know How this change is gonna go Racing off to work, the sky is dark When I return at night, the setting’s stark All the rhythms that were fixed inside my brain I must retrain When trading light for darkness Kevin Ahern’s Wildly Popular Metabolic Melodies (www.davincipress.com) Page 4 of 427 Sani-Cloth is Cleaning Up Town (to the tune of “Santa Claus is Coming to Town”) Copyright © 2020 Kevin Ahern It’s time to get clean You need to comply Til there’s a vaccine You cannot stand by Sani-Cloth is cleaning up town It’s cleaning up hands Killing the germs Wiping out COVID The doctor confirms Sani-Cloth is cleaning up town Chorus It is a magic tissue One wipe and then it’s through I only have one wish you Will use it please, thank you So, roll up those sleeves Wipe off that skin If you do I believe ‘Twill be a win-win Sani-Cloth is cleaning up town Kevin Ahern’s Wildly Popular Metabolic Melodies (www.davincipress.com) Page 5 of 427 There is a Virus on the Loose (to the tune of Neal Gladstone’s “When There’s a Grapefruit in Your Life”) Copyright © 2020 Kevin Ahern There is a virus on the loose That has sucked out all the pleasure It’s the worst thing we have seen Making for a quarantine And the Charmin’s running low Off you go into a store On a quest for toilet paper But there’s none upon its shelves From restocking elves Oh so now what will you use? There’s a virus on the loose When there’s a virus right nearby You must avoid a bad infection So a mask is put in place A bra for your face And your breath stinks up your nose Here’s the new reality If you are a non-essential Working from your living room In pajamas using Zoom Making sure to close your fly There’s a virus right nearby Bridge I can’t wait til it is over I’ll need a vacation Subsidize the Nobel prize For an inoculation Kevin Ahern’s Wildly Popular Metabolic Melodies (www.davincipress.com) Page 6 of 427 When there’s a virus near your mouth You will not know of its presence That is why it is the case You should never touch your face Not a finger not a thumb And you’ll be much better for it You’ll survive, congratulations Just be careful where you eat Stay apart at least six feet And, dear God, avoid the south There’s a virus near your mouth Kevin Ahern’s Wildly Popular Metabolic Melodies (www.davincipress.com) Page 7 of 427 Grandma Got Infected by That Virus (To the tune of “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer”) Copyright © 2020 Kevin Ahern Grandma got infected by that virus Cuz they opened up her state too soon They claimed it was fine for all the people But I don’t think my grandma was immune She’d been feeling very happy Baking cookies and some bread But then she got that awful fever Before we knew what happened she was dead Meanwhile the politicians voted For that giant company payout If they’re of and by and for the people Then why aren’t we the ones they’re bailing out? Grandma got infected by that virus Cuz they opened up her state too soon They claimed it was fine for all the people But I don’t think my grandma was immune Kevin Ahern’s Wildly Popular Metabolic Melodies (www.davincipress.com) Page 8 of 427 Beaver Believer (to the tune of “Daydream Believer”) Copyright © 2018 Kevin Ahern Oh I get high. Such a grin Every time the Beavers win The orange and black’s em-bedded in my skin From the Gill - basketball To the labs in Cordley Hall So much to say, now where should I begin? Chorus Cheer on Benny Beav Students will achieve They’re all Beaver Believers With an ace up their sleeves Innovate and dream Linus Pauling’s on the team There’s not any more that one might need When Ed Ray tells everyone That the best is yet to come You darn sure better know that they’ll succeed Kevin Ahern’s Wildly Popular Metabolic Melodies (www.davincipress.com) Page 9 of 427 Chorus Cheer on Benny Beav Students will achieve Since they’re Beaver Believers With an ace up their sleeves Chorus Cheer for Benny Beav Dump on Donald Duck We’re all Beaver Believers And those other guys suck Kevin Ahern’s Wildly Popular Metabolic Melodies (www.davincipress.com) Page 10 of 427
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