Judaism and Homosexuality - An Authentic Orthodox View

255 Pages·2004·13.098 MB·English

by  Rabbi Chaim Rapoport

■
>
= c
> a
Judaism
5 Q

2 C/>
o —'
and
9Q
r4 T
o a Homosexuality

o
s;2
s 3 An Authentic Orthodox View
« 2
o
in
(D
X
c
Q
» |!
l
ii
‘ i

o
o Rabbi Chaim Rapoport
o

O'
o
Foreword by

Chief Rabbi Professor Jonathan Sacks

fn
vy/_\!L‘
K
JUDAISM AND

HOMOSEXUALITY
An Authentic Orthodox View

RABBI CHAIM RAPOPORT

Foreword by
Chief Rabbi Professor Jonathan Sacks

Preface by Dayan Berkovits
VALLENTINE MITCHELL
LONDON • PORTLAND, OR
First Published in 2004 in Great Britain by
VALLENTINE MITCHELL
Crown House, 47 Chase Side
Southgate, London N14 5BP
and in the United States of America by
VALLENTINE MITCHELL
do ISBS, 920 N.E. 58th Avenue, Suite 300
Portland, Oregon 97213-3786
Website: httn://www.vmhooks.com
Copyright © 2004 Chaim Rapoport
British Library Cataloguing in Publication Data
Rapoport, Chaim, Rabbi
Judaism and homosexuality: an authentic orthodox view
1. Homosexuality - Religious aspects - Judaism
I. Title
296.3'66
ISBN 0-8530-3452-4 (paper)
ISBN 0-8530-3501-6 (cloth)
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publicarion Data
Rapoport, Hayim.
Judaism and homosexuality: an authentic orthodox view/Chaim Rapoport; with a
foreword by Jonathan Sacks,
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references and index.
ISBN 0-85303-452-4 (cloth)
1. Homosexuality-Religious aspects-Judaism. 2. Orthodox Judaism-Doctrines. 3.
Pastoral psychology (Judaism) I. Title.
BM729.H65R37 2003
296'.086'64-dc21
2003057164
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or
introduced into a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means,
electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior
written permission of the publisher of this book.
Typeset in 11/13pt Sabon by Vitaset, Paddock Wood, Kent
Printed in Great Britain by
MPG Books Ltd, Bodmin, Cornwall
Contents
Foreword by the Chief Rabbi vii
Preface by Dayan Berkovits xi
Author’s Preface XV
Acknowledgements xix
Approbations xxi
1. The Prohibition of Homosexual Practices 1
2. The Nature of Homosexuality - A Jewish Perspective 18
3. The Formidable Challenge 36
4. Attitudes to the Practising Homosexual 48
5. Understanding and Judgmentalism - A Synthesis 68
6. The Child’s Cry 76
7. Procreation and Parenthood 90
8. Questions and Responses 101
9. Summary and Conclusion 134
Notes 137
Bibliography 200
Index 221
Index of names 227

Foreword
At the heart of Judaism is a remarkable idea, that first an individual,
then a family, a tribe, a collection of tribes and then a nation entered
into a covenant with God to live a life faithful to His word. It would
become, in the biblical phrase, a ‘kingdom of priests and a holy nation’.
Its collective existence would be devoted to ‘righteousness and justice’
on the one hand, ‘holiness’ on the other, and by its dedication to these
ideals it would become a living witness to God’s presence in the world.
Needless to say, these were high standards to live up to, and much
of Jewish literature is marked by candid acknowledgement of Israel’s
shortcomings. Yet in no small measure that is what the people became.
Few in numbers, insignificant in power, dispersed and all too often
persecuted, they kept faith with the covenant and took immense care
to hand on their values to future generations. The chapter they wrote
in the history of mankind is a moving testament to the fidelity of the
human spirit in response to the call of God.
One of Judaism’s fundamental beliefs is that the God of revelation
is also the God of creation. There is, in other words, a deep congruence
between the life we are called on to lead (revelation) and the universe
in which we are called on to live it (creation). Judaism is neither an
abandonment of the world nor an abandonment to the world but a
struggle to establish God’s presence within it. To put it another way,
Judaism is neither a renunciation of pleasure (asceticism) nor an amoral
pursuit of it (hedonism) but a way of life that sanctifies pleasure by
dedicating it to God and to the wider values of the covenant as a whole.
Nowhere is this more apparent than in Judaism’s understanding of
sexuality. There have been cultures marked by a profound distrust of
sexuality, seeing it as a shameful acknowledgement of the physicality
of human existence, to be foregone in pursuit of a more spiritual, other-
viii JUDAISM AND HOMOSEXUALITY
worldly life. From this came the concept of a monastic existence and
the adoption of celibacy as an ideal. At the opposite extreme are
cultures that embrace sexuality as the celebration of the physical, in
contradistinction to the spiritual, divesting it of any higher purpose
than transitory pleasure, unaccompanied by lasting commitment or
responsibility. The secular West is passing through such a phase today.
Judaism rejects both alternatives, for each contains only half the truth
of the human situation. We are physical beings, embodied selves, part
of nature, or as the Torah puts it, ‘dust of the earth’. But we are not
onlv physical beings. We are self-conscious, reflective persons, capable
of moral choice. There is within us the ‘breath of God’. In a bold and
original challenge to humanity, the Torah invites those who heed its
call to combine sexuality with spirituality.
Hence the unusual significance of sexual ethics within the Jewish
way of life. Judaism is not puritanical. It does not condemn sexual
pleasure; it values it. But Judaism is not hedonistic either. It does not
believe that, in a covenantal life, one can divorce pleasure from the
moral framework in which it takes place. The institution which the
Torah sets forth as its ideal is marriage - not marriage as a social
convention but as the human counterpart of Israel’s covenant with
God. In marriage, man and woman pledge themselves to one another
in a bond of love, and in and through that love bring new lives into
existence. The prophets - Hosea, Isaiah, Jeremiah and Ezekiel - saw
marriage as the supreme metaphor for God’s relationship with His
people. The I-and-Thou between man and wife mirrors the I-and-Thou
of God and mankind.
It need hardly be said that there are few aspects of Judaism more
out-of-step with today’s radically individualistic culture than its view
of sexual ethics. That, however, has always been the fate of one or other
element of Jewish life. To be a Jew has always involved being willing
to challenge the idols of the age, whatever the idols, whichever the age.
One of the idols of our time is the idea of the sovereign self, navigating
the world with no binding commitments beyond personal inclination
and private desire. Today’s secular culture resists the idea that there
may be boundaries to the life we may legitimately pursue. It finds it
difficult to understand that the logic of ‘I ought’ is quite different to
that of ‘I feel’ or ‘I want’. At such times, Judaism’s ethics become
counter-cultural. To live by the call of Torah is not an easy undertaking.
At times, it is little short of heroic.
This is particularly so for those with a homosexual orientation. The
FOREWORD ix
Torah forbids homosexual activity as such: that much is clear from the
testimony of both biblical and post-biblical literature. It does not
condemn a homosexual disposition, because the Torah does not speak
about what we are, but about what we do. It does, however, ask of one
who has such a disposition to suppress or sublimate it and act within
the Torah’s constraints. What this might involve requires case-by-case
counselling: homosexuality is not a single phenomenon but a spectrum
of conditions and existential circumstances, and sensitive advice is
needed for each individual. Whatever the counsel, however, none of
us should under-estimate the difficult journey he or she may have to
make. For most, it will be fraught with immense pain.
Just as the Torah asks of the homosexual to wrestle with his or her
sexual desires, however, so too it asks of the rest of us to understand
his or her plight, caught between two identities and two cultures. I, for
one, can never forget the fact that lesbians, gay men and bisexuals
as well as Jews, were the victims of Nazi Germany and remain the
object of prejudice and misunderstanding today. As Jews, therefore,
we have special reason to be on our guard against attitudes, words and
behaviour that give needless offence or in any other way add to the
trauma of those already fraught with great internal conflict. Stereo­
typing, homophobia and verbal or other abuse are absolutely forbidden.
Jewish law and teaching condemn in the strongest possible terms those
who shame others. ‘One should rather throw oneself into a fiery
furnace’, said the sages, ‘than humiliate someone else in public.’
It is not enough to know that something is forbidden. Our full
humanity requires of us that we understand the difficulty - physical,
psychological, even existential - that individuals may experience as they
engage in inner struggle between instinct and obligation, desire and
duty, personal emotion and religious imperative. Compassion,
sympathy, empathy, understanding - these are essential elements of
Judaism. They are what homosexual Jews who care about Judaism need
from us today. That is what lies behind Rabbi Chaim Rapoport’s book.
It is a sensitive, thoughtful work on a subject too often either
ignored or treated superficially. Although it contains an impressive
array of halachic sources, its subject is less halachah than pastoral
psychology; not, what is permitted and what forbidden, but how shall
an individual cope with profound dissonance between what he feels
himself to be and what Judaism calls on us to be. No one should under­
estimate the depth of that conflict. It is real and painful, sometimes to
the point of depression and despair. There are homosexual Jews who
X JUDAISM AND HOMOSKXUALITY
care deeply about Judaism, who seek to live by its laws and ideals, but
at the same time need counsel from someone who has made the effort
to listen, enter into their struggle, and find the words which, while not
dissolving the problem, ease some of its loneliness and emotional
confusion.
What makes Rabbi Rapoport’s book invaluable is that he has
understood this. He is a courageous figure who has written on a difficult
subject that many would rather avoid. Parts of the book will be contro­
versial. As he himself indicates at various points, there are halachic
authorities who take a view different from his own. Nonetheless, this
is a work of genuine psychological depth and insight. We pray, in the
kaddish de-rabbanati, for rabbis to be blessed with ‘grace, loving
kindness and compassion’. In Rabbi Rapoport we have such a man.
Judaism can rarely be internalised without prolonged inner struggle.
Many of the Psalms speak directly from this tempestuous emotional
realm. According to the Torah, the Jewish people acquired its name
only when Jacob, alone and afraid, wrestled at night with the angel
that had no name. ‘Israel’, the name he was given after that contest,
means ‘one who struggles with God and with mankind and prevails’.
The great thinkers of Judaism have always known that it is not a faith
that brings serenity or peace of mind. The religions that promise these
things purchase them at great price: a withdrawal from engagement
with the conflicts and challenges of a life that seeks to refashion the
physical in response to the spiritual. Judaism never lets us rest because
it holds before us two conflicting realities - the world that is and the
world we are called on to make, the ‘I’ of human desire and the ‘Thou’
of God’s call. From that cognitive dissonance comes the ‘strife of the
spirit’ in which true greatness is born.
Those who read this book will not discover that this strife can
suddenly be resolved. They will, however, know that in Rabbi Chaim
Rapoport they have found a sensitive and sympathetic spirit, prepared
to address a real and painful conflict with honesty and the best available
guidance; that, in short, they are not alone. This is an important and
courageous book, urgently needed, well written, thoroughly researched,
and graciously conceived. I congratulate its author. May it bring under­
standing and insight to all who read it.
Jonathan Sacks
Chief Rabbi of the United Hebrew Congregations
of the Commonwealth
Preface
This is an important and challenging book: probably the first
meaningful attempt to articulate a strictly Orthodox perspective on the
question of homosexuality. It is written be’safah bemrah u’vin’imah -
in a manner which is clear and uncompromising as to halachic values
and norms, yet at the same time compassionate and sensitive to the
needs of those who find themselves in a religious predicament because
of their sexual proclivities.
Rabbi Rapoport is to be congratulated for his courage in tackling a
topic which is so unenviable in its complexities.
The book is a valuable academic study, with a multitude of refer­
ences and wealth of information. Simultaneously it serves as a practical
guide to help rabbis, and others, relate to the homosexual in our midst.
Rabbi Rapoport does not shrink from facing up to the difficult issues.
The flavour of the book can perhaps best be gleaned from the
chapter entitled ‘Questions and Responses’. This chapter, responding
as it does to input from the general community, gives us a wide insight
as to the complexities of the issues, and the nature of the concerns
which need to be addressed.
Not everybody will agree, of course, with all of Rabbi Rapoport’s
conclusions, or even with the direction of his arguments. There will
also be some, no doubt, who are uncomfortable with the book as a
whole, or who may think that it should not have been written and
publicly disseminated. We grew up, after all, in an age (or so it seemed),
of comparative innocence, in which sexual matters were not openly
discussed. And even if some topics were not beyond the pale, one
recoiled, instinctively, from talking about homosexuality.
We can, however, no longer afford the luxury of avoiding the
unpalatable. The book is important, because it is timely and