It's not you, it's biology: the real reason men and women are different

273 Pages·2008·5.27 MB·English

by  Joe Quirk

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ADVANCE PRAISE FOR
It’s Not You,It’s Biology
“It’s been over a quarter of a century since Richard Dawkins’s The
Selfish Gene and nearly a decade since Robert Wright’s The Moral
Animal. It’s time for a good update on evolutionary psychology.
“This is not just a good update, it is an approach filled with
delight, one that’s aimed straight at the heart and soul of your daily
life and mine. Joe Quirk’s It’s Not You, It’s Biology,will reach out and
grab the mass audience of Men Are From Mars, Women Are From
Venus and show them how science can guide them through their
lives. Reading it is stealing a treat—snacking on a pastry made spe-
cially for you in the private kitchen of a five-star chef.”
—HOWARD BLOOM, visiting Scholar, Graduate School of Education,
New York University, author of The Lucifer Principle: A Scientific
Expedition into the Forces of Historyand Global Brain: The Evolution of
Mass Mind from the Big Bang to the 21st Century
“The factors influencing the mating behavior of the sluts and studs
among your hairy-faced ancestors make delectable reading. What’s
more, these facts are startlingly applicable to your own very present-
day meeting and mating behavior. And you thought it was all about
personal charm? Joe Quirk’s book, It’s Not You, It’s Biology, in a most
entertaining manner, will let you know differently.”
—ISADORAALMAN, Sexologist, columnist of “Ask Isadora,” and author
of Doing It: Real People Having Really Good Sex
“Seamlessly blending science, sex, and humor in his book, It’s Not
You, It’s Biology, Joe Quirk tempts us with the promise of sexual
revelation, and then delivers with an alternately hilarious and
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astonishing primer on the modern evolutionary theories of human
sexual behavior. Quirk’s charming combination of corny puns and
dry wit leads us, laughing, through what might otherwise be some
daunting scientific territory. He plays peek-a-boo with our oldest,
most primal urges, triple-dog daring us to confront the possibility
that our desires, jealousies, fetishes, and even our deepest emotions
are merely the products of our primate past. All who accept the
dare will be transformed into scientific thinkers, for observing how
we deviate from Quirk’s evolutionary stereotypes—and wondering
why—is perhaps the most tempting exercise of all.”
—KAREN E. JAMES, Ph.D., evolutionary & developmental geneticist at
The Natural History Museum in London, England.
“Quirk’s irreverent, personal style makes learning a lot about socio-
biology fun! Expect to be shocked, amazed, disgusted, amused, and
in the end, a little wiser about how you approach members of the
opposite sex.”
—STEVE M. POTTER, Ph.D., neuroengineer, inventor of Hybrot, and
Professor of Biomedical Engineering at Georgia Institute of Technology
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IT’S NOT YOU
IT’S BIOLOGY
THE REAL REASON MEN AND
JOE QUIRK
WOMEN ARE DIFFERENT
RUNNING PRESS
PHILADELPHIA (cid:129) LONDON
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© 2006 by Joe Quirk
All rights reserved under the Pan-American and International Copyright Conventions
Printed in the United States
This book may not be reproduced in whole or in part, in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, includ-
ing photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system now known or hereafter invented, with-
out written permission from the publisher.
9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
Digit on the right indicates the number of this printing
Previously published by Running Press in hardcover as Sperm Are from Men, Eggs Are from Women
ISBN 978-0-7624-3256-1
Cover design by Doogie Horner
Interior design by Doogie Horner
Typography: Bembo and Bulldog
Running Press Book Publishers
2300 Chestnut Street
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania 19103-4371
Visit us on the web!
www.runningpress.com
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I dedicate this book to Ellen Goodman
for her unconditional support and friendship.
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TABLE OF CONTENTS
1. The Sperm and Egg Problem 10
2. Female Promiscuity Controls the Size of Your Testicles 18
3. What Women Want 25
4. Bodies and Resumés: What Makes Us Horny 31
5. Why Men Are Afraid of Commitment, Women Cautious
about Consummation 34
6. A Do-It-Yourself Home Experiment 39
7. How Men Get Sex 41
8. The Catfight Gene 44
9. The Jerk Gene 48
10. Bower Birds Teach Us How Art Evolved to Get the Groupie 55
11. Male Promiscuity Decides Your Height 63
12. Why Women Are Coy, Men Clueless 71
13. Why You’re So Horny 74
14. Darwinism: Survival of the Sexiest 79
15. How Kindness Became Sexy 83
16. Why We Bitch 88
17. Why We Are Fat 99
18. Aqua-Ape: The Missing Link? 103
19. Why You Like Spielberg More than T. S. Eliot 110
20. Let’s Face It 116
21. Love Stinks 119
22. Faked Orgasms Fool Men, but Real Orgasms Fool Women 126
23. You Don’t Have an Orgasm. An Orgasm Has You. 134
24. Why Your Clitoris Is Hard to Find 141
25. March of the Penguin Prostitutes 150
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26. Free Love Causes War 154
27. Bimbos and Cuckolds: What Makes Us Jealous 160
28. Why You’re Tormented 168
29. Dying for Sex 174
30. When Your Wife Sleeps with Your Brother,
and You’re Okay with That 177
31. Broad Hips, Big Butts; Broad Shoulders, Big Diction 184
32. Why Your Penis Is Easy to Find 192
33. Two Genes for Two Types of Gay Guys 199
34. Gay Animal Parents 203
35. Boobies 211
36. Homo Homo sapiens 216
37. Why Males and Females Don’t Actually Exist 221
38. Why Men Have Nipples 227
39. The Sperm and Egg Solution 233
40. Falling in Love 237
Afterword 248
Notes 249
In Case You Think I’m Full of It: Bibliography 258
Useless Index 260
People Who Deserve Acknowledgement but not Payment 271
About the Author 272
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FORGET MARS AND VENUS.
ASTROLOGY TELLS US NOTHING. BIOLOGY TELLS US EVERYTHING.
SPERM ARE FROM MEN. EGGS ARE FROM WOMEN. THAT’S THE
REAL REASON MEN AND WOMEN ARE DIFFERENT.