Innis Herald, Volume 43, Issue 4 - january, 2008

1.5 MB·English

by  Innis College Student Society

INNIS
MONTHLY FIELD REPORT. VOLUME XL
.'Vi^/l^
HERALD
INNIS
WWW.INNISHERAL0.COM
InnisCollege1f2SussexAve.>'Room107^Toronto,OntarioliM5S1J5 innls.heraldg'utoronto.ca'^f416-978-4748
MASTHEAD -1^
EditoTs-in-Chief ChrifiHneCreighton&ChrisHeron
AssociateEditors MarcSaint-Cyr&.C^tlinWoods li
FilmEditor TomLatkowski
ExternalOfficer MichelleKloepfer
Treasurer KatherineJanidd
MediaRepresentative RoUaTahir
WebmaSier JadieLo
LayoutEditor ChrisHeron
M
PRECIS
P
Sc.12007Music»(p.2-10).
Sc.PidtUj,.(p.2).
&.Pic*L5i>.(p.2).
8c«Simpsons*(p.2-5).
ac-2007M(wia»{p.6).
&,.200SMovies„(p7-8).
&.«Ki«<ojy»(p.9-10).
CiV).»(p.11).
1
Decisions»(p.11).
mo
NOTES
Theartworkfeaturedonthecoverandpages7and9comescourtesyofFelixKalmenson.ThepiecesaretitledOnaFieldSable,
BetweenBurlapCoversandCabotCalling,respe&ively.
Wearenowcomfortablylocatedinournewoffice,room107.junpaSltheInnisCafi(currentlyunderreconlhuEHon).Ouroffice
hoursarelocatedonoUrwebsite.
TheInnisHeraldispublishedduringthesecondfillweekofeachmontbduringtheFallandWinterterms.Meetingdatesand
deadlinesmaybefoundonourwebsite.
Allsubmissionsare-welcome.
kn
mm
10 Lines
2007's 12
PICKING
upwomenishard,but 5. Ihaveaboner,youhaveamouth. Finishthe Best Albums
withanyluck,soisyourboner. AccorctngtoDar- equation.
PS Vmieinniacnaptahbelorey,ofwaocmheienvianrgeemroecrteioinnscloivneerdtthooscehowohsoe 4p,itcIh'imngnaotbitgotoenbtigriognhtcnaomwpi(ni.ge,.mhyowbeovneerr).Iam
m areincapableofdoingso-aprimitivesub-conscious 3.I'vegotabigfuckingboner!
impulsedesignedtopropagatethespecies. Inorder 2. Hopefijllythesheersizeofmybonerwill
tosuccessfullypickupwomen,youmustadvertisethe compensateforthefactthatitiscurrentlycov-
factthatyoucanmaintdnanerection,andyoumust eredinsmegma.
advertiseitloudly.Consider,forexample,thefollow- 1.Iwantyoutosqueallikeapig!
ingtenpick-uplines. Althoughthenumberonepick-upline
'Mi c1i0a.nYmoeuhmoumsyt.befromJamaica,becauseyou'reJamai- dr-eoraeessmoannsiontwshmitehcenhtmisocosinetnbceoefnfecercatsmi,tvoeittpiancdekevqeuurptahtleeillneyessekxnp-olafwionnr DerekBailey
9.I'vegotabonerwithyournamewrittenalloverit. toman.Forproofofitseffectiveness,takealook Standards
1? 8.Excuseme,Icouldn'thelpbutnoticethatthespace attheeasewithwhichthehillbilliesinthefilm [Tzadik]
gid7.enonsnIti'naddlaellyyfi,koeeeuIdryalohmsiuoomuhtsotealhpmfpeiesentcutCrorohecanktvolesyaauubnroooncuecrsu.pRieexd..HCoeinacini'-t InpDfreoleitirsveuceamarsanaobnnwlcoywerhnkuoystfeoiitrintcbiarfnneob'drtr)e.twdhoemrokpuunfrtopraoiysneo-ufooftlokso,ed(tuhwcethrioeonii.ss g2u0i0ta5riwsatsDgWerhreiaetlk,etBhateihlefealyiorslosynorfeCghaurvliaansrtts-mtgaraseradomef
6.Congratulations,you'renowintheGuinnessBook DAVID ofunreleasedmaterialseeingthelight
ofWorldRecordsforinspiringthecreationofthe HUMPHREYS ofdaysincethenhasprovidedsufficient
world'slargestfreestandingstructure:myboner. consolationandStandardsisnoexcep-
tion.Asthenameimplies,inthisre-
cordingsessionBaileyapplieshisgen-
HEN erallydiscontinuous,experimentalstyle
someoneaskedmetolistafew bestkisser,caretoprovethis? to theveryopposite form:standards.
pickuplinesforawomantouse,Irealized1couldn't WhileBaileyfanswillnoticethatthisis
ii tphiicnkkupoflianensy..ATlhlatweisnbeeecdautsoedwoeiswboamteonurdeoyne'ltasnheeesd, 6m.yMlyeftfrbioeondbainsdbiIgagreerhtahvainngmaydreibgahtt,ewwhhaetthdeor neomtplaonyeedwtownis2t0-02t'hsesinacmreecp^rbalcetiBcaellwaadss
wearv-necklinesthatshowamplecleavagetoand youthink.'" -thealbumisnotamerereiteration.
ii theyareasgoodasours.Whenitcomestomen,our RecordedinadvanceoftheBalladsma-
intentionsneedtobespelledoutforthemmostofthe 5.MyfortunecookietoldmeI'dbeinfora terial,thisreleasepresentsBailey'sfirst
time,ifnotallthetime.Thefollowingaretenoriginal pleasentsurprise.Lookingatyou,itappearsto workingthroughoftheconceptand,
pickuplinesthatgetrighttothepointandwillmake becomingtrue expectedly,theresultsfallbetweenBal-
anyguy,withoutadoubt,sweatforyou. ladsandhischaracteristicsound.YAiile
4.Doyoulookthatgoodnakedasyoudoinyour melodyisaspresentascanbeexpected,
10-1hadadreamlastnightandyouwereinit,careto clothes? itisfarlessemphasizedinthesetakes:
findouthowitended? thestandardsslowlyrevealthemselves
3.Didyouaccidentallyspillyourdrinkonme amidstamoreabstractcontext,creat-
PI 9.I'mtoldI'magoodcook,whatdoyouthinkofmy becauseIfeelallwet ingadynamicthatmakesthealbum
hotbuns? justasworthwhileforlongtimefansas
is 8.HowaboutweplayagameofCSI,I'llbetheforen- 2y.ouMrytodyi?ldoappearstobebroken,can1borrow litisptrenoevrisd.e«saWhgraeiatYoeuntrrLyipvoeirnItsfGoornneew>,
sicscientistandyoubethestiff analbumhighlight,playfullysuggests
I.I'msavingmyselffortherightperson,youlook thisjuxtapositioninitsverytide,while
I 7,ThereistMsrumourgoingaroundthatyouarethe likeyouwilldo.SI «Don'tTalkAboutMe»bestrepresents
MELISSA LASZKIEWICZ theeffectivenessofthetransitionfrom
Bailey'sbelligerentlypercussive,precise
strokestotheplayfullylyrical,theeva-
Call The Big One Bitey: The To] nescenceofthiscompositeconceptsig-
nalledinitsfittinglyabruptlastnote.
Ten Simpsons Episodes
k EVERY
Sundaynight,1turnon 10.BehindtheLaughter(Season11)
theTVhopingfor«Simpsons»re-runs.Somethingfrom
1992,maybe,or93 -atimewhenthecharactershad Synopsis:AfakedocumentaryabouttheSimpsons'rise
depth,theplotlineswerecoherent,andthepostmod- tostardomandprivatestrugglesalaVHl's*Behind
erngagswerewitty.Thecontinuingpopularityof«The theMusic*. JamesBUckshaw
ogSnailrmynpessroeendesm»fseiwtseobrai£nlQcariuengaghs:se.atshEapitniss•qo<udTaehUsetiyBnodhreerclciiennngetsW,soeirtalssdounbosifqNhueaiivtleys Ndaircrtaetdort'ospavionikcielolveerrs:(aSsowmeehsoewe,doHcotomresrpobuercinagmethaedm- Th[eTColmopukdionfsUSnqkunaorwei]ng
Bohr*.(Oh,howImisssuchcleverquips.)Somehow, downhisthroat) As with Baley, the music
11 PttaSmetheeesierzato,cssndhoyhioaonosufnwp'1ce'av9n^swesseaeieplrnnlr,c(d-oirbfrbecoyeaaobcobspbeleuiildyoveduechonsdrnee'aavaftpdeemu,oaroltwukeuwnernnaeycttacescfhi«hhaloaeiSmfsndi,no,m'cftptofohsinrpecosrinihasesslohvt»oemaewnnnep)ttod.esprtdtarWemtertioi,ghftnnefbghiaosoccnorifuckeaoty,-lr NetHtaavhorieemrnrpaeeytdotroUh:rrcie'neIasgdowyvfwa-foatinicsotce-recs.to.too.vimenwsirgaentsbgFetaoehusrpep.rorArsemotcesioertsriu.dctaeBs'ut(srtnaoiftdgahhdvotios.nuegrI)ir.ttoehsoeusfgahcmtiol.ny.-,. lobwwBoruoh^watreeelryorndsaf,.JtuthloAnoehhlrsrentetialhFnaeostaaiueshgggrerenidehyimaftriddheciracaiesaonndwrtndiitoninnhtnugeg2sms0ebmr0eeeof1ncorr.eraenUoFtpnfalflheprfietaookhylsme--,t
itfoifiraltlhetriame-.D'Oh!,herearethetop10 Simpsons»episodes Whyit'sintheTop10:thiso araregeminthelater Robbie Basho, a member ofFahey's
Simpsonsscasons.Thcspot-onparodyofVHlshitshow haswhatittakestobehisheir.Bartisinitiallypleased TakomaRecords,JamesBlackshawcan
andtheHollywoodlifestyleitdramatizescombinedwith byMr.Bums'generosity,butthengrowslonelyandasks helooselyplacedinthatcategory.What 5l
judictihoeusulsyuasellleyc-tteeddisocuesne«sclfifr>osmhtycmla»ssgiecnerpe.isUondleiskreevmiotaslt- tBoarrtetiunrtnotboelhiiesvifnagmitlhy.atMrhi.sBfuammislyhiisreshaapcptioerrswtiotthroiuctk s1e2t-sstBrliangc,kospheanw-tapuanritngfrfionmgeyro-upricakveerraangde m
clipshows,whichrelyprimarilyupontheoldlaughs,this him.ConvincedthatMr.BumshasbrainwashedBart, moreinlinewiththelegadesofFahey
onerunsonnewmaterial.Thetruegreatnessofthisepi- theSimpsonshirea•depTOgrammer»towinhimback, andBasho,istwofold.First,Blackshaw
sode,torisksoundingpretentious,probablycomesfrom butamisunderstandingleadsHansMolemantobepro- isnotreluctanttoengageintheavant- i
its meta-ness.Neverhas somuchself-reference been grammedastheirson.Meanwhile,Bumsdecidestotest garde,bothappended onto (« Stained
crammedintoahalf-hourprogram,yetitcomesofiFas Bart'sloyaltybyorderinghimtofireHomerfromhisjob GlassWindows»)andintegratedinto(«
freshandcreativeinsteadofseeminglikethewritersran atthepowcrplant.Bart fires»Mr.Bumsinsteadand CloudsCollapse»)hisguitarpieces.More
outofideas.Unfortunately,thefollowingseasonsseemed thingsreturntonormalattheSimpsonhousehold. importantly,though,isthesecondand
toindicatethelatter. mostimmediateapparentinTheCloud
Bart(readingHomer'scuecard):HelloMr...Cums.Ibad ofUnknowing:Blackshaw'ssongwriting
9,Homervs.the18thAmendment(Season8) wantmoneynow.Mesick. hasbecomeextremelystrongandaflTect-
Homer:Ooh,hecardreadgood! ing, Fahe/s work,as formallyrevela-
^E?y^!&^ Synopsis:PPrroohhiibbiitioncomestoSpringfieldafterapar- toryasitcouldbe,continuestoinspire
jteSyf*^!?^ ticulailydebauch,lerousSt.Patrick'sDay.Moedisguises ActorplayingHomer:I'mhavingtroublewiththischar- primarilyforthisreason,andwiththe
STV^J(i\?*t^*iS histavernasappeetshop,andHomersuppliestheboot- acter.Ishesupposedtohavesomekindofneurological CloudofUnknowing,Blackshawhasfi-
leggedDuffbeerinbowUngballs.ChiefWiggum'sin- impairment,likeRainManorTheAwakenings}Imean, nallydeliveredasdevastatingacollec-
abilitytocapturethe•BeerBaron•causeshimtolosehis whatthehellamIdoinghere? tionofsongs.Apartfromthedynamic
jobtoRexBanner.WhenHomerrunsoutofbeerand trading between shimmer and twang, I
hishomemadeliquorschemefails,heletsChiefWig- Whyit'sintheTop10:theopeningfiveminutesalone thereisconsiderabledramawithineach
gumturnhiminandgethisjobback.Homerescapes areenoughtomakethisepisodetop-10worthy.Homer's ofthesepieces,thoughnonemoreso
thepunishmentofdeathbycatapultwhenthetownclerk prizeforwinningtheemployeeraffleistobeanindustrial thanthebeautifijltidetrack,oneofthe
discoversthatthelawwasrepealed, chimneysweep-thenwecuttoHomer,wrappeduplike verybesttracksrecordedthisyear.
apipecleaner,beingdippeddownchimneyswithacrane.
Bart:Awrats,anothergutterball.GeeHomer,yousure ThesillyideaofMr.BumswatchingthissceneonTV
dosucktonight. whileinthebathtubisfimnyenough,butwhenSmithers
Homer:Yeah,sucklikeafox! nearlydrownshimbyplacingaspongeonhishead,it's
side-splitting.Inadditiontoitshighlaughs-per-minutc
Homer:Toalcohol!Thecauseof,andsolutionto,allof rate,thisepisodeiskindofsweet.Sure,it'spredictable
life'sproblems. thatBartchoosesnottofireHomerintheend,butit's
stillcutetoseehimlovinglyreunitedwithhisfamily.I
Whyit's intheTop 10:youdon'tneedtohaveseen alsojustreallyhkeHansMoleman.
Untouchablestolaughatthestraight-laced,humor-
characterofRcjtBanner,whodressesandtalkslike 6.FlamingMoe's(Season3)
1920sdetective.What'sreallyfimaboutthisepisode, II
though,isthatwegettosecHomer'ssmartside,which Synopsis:WhenMoerunsintofinancialtrouble,Hom- Burial,the dubsteparchitect
inrumpointstodiestupidsideofthelaw. ersharesadelicioussecretrecipewithhim,Moesteals ofoneoflastyear'sverybestalbums,
Homer"srecipe,renamingitthe•FlamingMoe,andhis facedseeminglyimpossible oddswith
Margevs.theMonorail(Season4) tavemquicklybecomesatrendyhangout.Wealthyrestau- thisyear'sfollow-up.While,admittedly.
rantowners,wimcssingthewildpopularityofthedrink, Untruedidnotassuageanyfearsonthe
Synopsis:Mr.Bumsisfined3milliondollarsfordump- oflferMoeamilliondollarstofindoutthesecretingredi- firstfewlistens,it'sanalbumwherein-
isonpngetnnhduecttlheoeawmrnownmaeesyet.tei,AnagcnoadrnudtnhacenontnvoaiwnmnceedgseLSt)psriitenoLgfadineeclliedd'yesbcuhirotsitwzsetinons egisnettc-soRuhiigsghhrtseyvbmeepnf.goreSeobtoyhnereebvvueesarilynioennsgestidhneaattlotihwsencsosemecprrvleeetsteitn.hgeHrierodmoieewnrnt csalrleocawosdneytditnahumaebnsiitttisoopndreohdcaeuscmeisetsrnoetrv.etaWhlhrioituslegelhfBmhuoarrzie-y Vms.*
toconstructamonorailAsHomerexcitedlyprepares versionoftheFlamingMoe,andbusinessreturnstoits andshalgrfieldrecordingsthenatureof
J-t^^r. tobeamonorailconductor,Marge'sinvestigationsinto usualslowpaceatMoe'sTavern. urbanliving,Untrueisconstructedwith
»''*'"^'"4''^^''<^l Loitausnslmesayci'adsme.lneWgvhiotyeiamngaec,tyhHeroemvmeoeanlrortshaaeivlewshcotahrleeeednpaslya,onuttoobfecaondtarnogleorn- Muopew:itHhethmeaiydehaaovfecchoamrgeinugp$w6i.t9h5tfhoerirte.cipe,butIcame iasnpcbhrreeoraeasdemedaraypnabglleeetjstueso.tfTaisnhvweeisdtreia,gnabgtueitoontfhteharatetmaaorr-ee
employed:thealbum'sentirefirsthalf
(Margediscoversapossumfamilyinthecloset)Homer: Homer:Oh,lookatme!I'mmakingpeoplehappy!I'mthe growsasprogressivelydarkasthesec- ii
Icallthebigone"Bitey." MagicalMan,fromHappyLand,inagumdrophouseon ondshedslight,fittingly,themosttalk-
LollipopLaaaanc!(leavestheroom,thenpokeshishead edaboutadvancementwiththisalbum
\') LeonardNimoy:Myjobhereisdone. backin)Oh,bytheway,Iwasbeingsarcastic istheemphaticmanipulationofvocal
Barney:Whatdoyoumean?Youdidn'tdoanything. samples, themselves far more present
Nimoy:Didn't1?(beamedup) Whyit'sintheTop10:liketheMonorailepisode.Flam- thaneverbefore.Apartfromengag^g
Whyit'sintheTop10;somanyreasons.Acogentyet wiingthMolyer'icsshsauschaacsla•ssLiicqu«orChienerasm»u-ignscpainrewdartmheymoeuslioknega, ifinltseorsmpalnacye«thveoiircesme»,anBuirnigal'isnecdiotnsstaanndt
zanyploClinc,brilliantthrow-awaygags,themonorail hug»and«HappinessisjustaFlamingMoeaway».The fluxevenastheyinherentiyrepeatthe
themesongandtherandomLeonardNimoyguestap- episode'sending,whereMoeforgivesHomerforlosing samewords.Thisismostapparentinthe
pearancemakeitanunforgettableepisode. himamilliondollars,isadmittedlysyrupy-buthey,so appropriatelylauded«Archangel*,al-
7.Bums'Heir(Season5) isthediink. tsahmopulgehatnheditnhteercphlaayngbientgwemeonotdheovfotchael p
5.TheLastTemptationofHomer(Season5) musicin Untrue•isoneofthemost
1^ hSiysnolpesgiacsy:.aHberudsehcivdreisthtodecahtohosleeadasmMarl.eBheuimrsontothpeobnadseirs Synopsis:TomeettheDepartmentofLabor'sstandards, caolnbtuimn.uaWliltyhrienwatrhdeindigvemrosemeanntdsinocnretahse- il
ofopenauditions.Mr.BumsisimimpressedbySpring- Mr.Bumsmusthireafemaleemployeeatthepower inglypopulateddubstepuniverse,itisa
field'syouthandfindshimselfunabletoselectawirmer. plant.IncomesMindySimmons,abeautifulrctiiead- testamenttothetalentsofBurialthathe
BartmakesafoolofhimselfbecauseofHomer'spoorly- cdengineer,whoHomerquicklydiscovershastheex- isabletomaintainsuchauniquevoice
wasrirtetveennaguediftoironhisscrriepjte,cttihoenn-vAasndBaluimzseswMart.chBeusmsB'arhtoudsee- aocuttswahmielepewrosrornyailnitgyaabsouhtehdioscsa.ttHroacmteiornktnooMckisndhyi,msaenldf wplhiiclaetiionnvitgoortahteidneggarnedeeexxppearnideinncgeditswiatph-
stroyinghif.property,heimmediatelydecidesthatBart aguardianangelintheguiseofColonelKlinkfrom«
WMmMm
9^
2^ HlltHBiuuouofxrergmunnawrsesnoirooiucuulhwHstdoacoHlkrhsieomfaeesmsvsseteuHy.prlboete,ammaekoneanerdnrslediMhakcMiineoadmninrfdfMoghuyineesnweahdodwajyuodtolunhut'dlaortdnnbremeebbyapeerUfrtroevotrisiheeesne.ndegteTpMahtrwaehehhresnaagi,pptedlep.MahnUrnitIy.ts.t ckeptornonlitmiocetkewrisstcnsaa,finfrndoaiornnmedgimttsptthothceeyowfnaawpsctreatrocyrtmhahittas.hiteavs.TtehtTpsioiotlewaSiniitSdinmipcmfoiopisavsnnoeostrmn.usrM•fs'i.eoetasavmitokretseaeonorofisnn.nalFgldl,OieriXstt',sys
atanuclearconvention.Backatthehotel,Mindyde- 3.HomerandApu(Season5)
claresherfeelingsforHomer.Thoughtempted,Homer
declareshisfaithfulnesstoMarge.Meanwhile,inthe Synopsis:Homereatsexpired hamfrom the Kwik-
episode'ssubplot,Bartbecomesanerd. E-Martandgetssick.WhenheseestheTVshow«
(asHomerdaydreamsaboutMindyinaBotticellipaint- BgioteonBatchkewsihthowKetnotiBnvreosctkigmaatnetheLiKswaisku-^Ee-sMtasrtth.atThhee JohnButeher
ing)Lenny:Homer,what'sthematter? producersgiveHomeranoversizedhatwithacamera TheGeometryOfSentiment
Carl:Ain'tyouneverseenanakedchickridingaclam inside,andtheycatchApusellinghotdogsthathave [Emanem]
before? rolledacrossthefloor.Apugetsfired,andhisreplace-
Hmoemaetrurk(esyi.n.g.inogn):mOyhvaMcaartgiioen,aywoauycfraommewaonrdkyy.oufound mrHoeolnemtaesrisaeJcxaopmnievresednWifoeonoocdde,sA,stpowurheoccoleimsrekrs.eAstoesalpricevehnivanangtchefotfrhoearsSmeiolmlvipin-eg ofrich,studiedandvariedsaxophonework
Whyit'sIntheTop10:thisepisodehumorouslyhandles Asopnusamnisdsdesohcihsoroelsdfjoorb.thHeem.aTnhdeHfoammeilrytlaikkeesaAjpouu,rbnuety wfier'svtetcwoomteratcoksexapreectafrretoumrnMrt.oBtuhtecJhearp.anTehsee
theserioustopicofmaritalfidelitywithouttrivializing totheKmk-E-MartheadofficeinIndia,whereHomer OyaStoneMuseumwherethefirsthalfof
it,Intheend,it'sanicereminderofhowtwoverydiffer- screwsupApu'schancesofgettinghisjobback.When 2002'sCavernWithNightlifewasrecorded.
entcharacterslikeHomerandMargecanworksowell ApugoestogetaboxofcerealfromtheKwik-E-Mart, Asvriththatrecording,Butcherappliesthe
together.ItreaffirmsHomer'sessentialgoodness-anice anattemptedrobberyoccurs.ApusavesJamesWoods location's natural resonances in astudyof
If^I rHeommiendrearnwdhMeinnhdeysiontoefrtaecntiaocntssbaoroenr'itshtlhye.oOnflycgourresaet,ptahret bhyimtahkisinjgobthbeacbkulalsetthhainmksse.lf,andJamesWoodsgives ewcihtoheosutthtahteaalildowosfheilemcttroonaiccsc.oTmphaeneymhpihmasseilsf
ofthisepisode.Mr.Bumsalsoprovidesplentyoflaughs, onspaceisunderscoredintheconducing
_ ^ forinstance,byemployingaducknamedStuartathis Homer:Heliedto sthroughsong!Ihatewhenpeople track,whereButcherappliesthesamecon-
powerplant,andsendinghisflyingmonkeystoattack dothat! cept,thoughthistimeinaGermangasom-
HomerandMindywhentheyorderroomservice-The eter.Likewithanycollaboration,Butcher's
wBoarrtldsuobfplSoptrignigvfeiseludsEalehmielnatrairouys'sglniemrpdsecliaqtuet.heAnsedcroetf Awopruld'(spofiinrstticngontvoentioepnocfeastmooreu.ntain):Theresheis,the asopnpircoapcrhopecrhtainesg,esretsoulitnitnegraicntawiqtuhitethdeifnfeerw-
course,theColonelKlinkbitjustcementstheepisode's Homer:Thisisn'tveryconvenient. ent,thoughequallyintriguingperformance.
greatness. Apu:Mustyoudumponeverythingwedo? Butcherhasalwaysbeenmindfulofacous-
tics,butheretheeffectisprobablymostim-
. 4.SideshowBobRoberts(Season6) Marge:WannacomewithmetotheKv^k-E-Mart? mediatelyoraccessiblyapparent.Thesophis-
„ „i Synopsis: Sideshow Bob calls right-wing radio host Aspceun:eMorfsm.yHospmierirt,uaIlcdeapramnottsignog.backthere.Thatisthe treilceaadsoentohfetdheeptphlacyhianrgactteercihsntiiqcueosfBguivtecshetrh'es
^fj_M34cjf BpoQrifuiriSscpohmrribiubnnyaeglnfdgtii.eTvl.eBdsaBtriahnlratoltowoBwtouhsebaeinrsdshdhocieuosmlmadipnnldbfaseliu.nersneWlchoeeafestehnodi,schaouennnvdfgiaenMitcrsaeyioomaulr-tl Wprlahogteyloiuitns'esg.iTanhgtehtgeouTetsohtepan1pe0px:ettahrwiahsnieclpeeibsstyoidlJleaarmodelhslesrWfiornoogmdtsooniaessdoeoufltii--d wheorrek,thbauttmtahekree'sitatnhaetxmdtuecmhcnmroraendapipnetaelnisnigt.y
ofprison,BobannounceshiscandidacyforMayorof nitelyoneofthebestinSimpsonshistory,andApu's
Springfield,withpromisessuchastheconstructionof *WhoNeedstheKwik-E-Mart»songstrikesjustthe
a*MatlockExpressway*.LisaandBartcampaignfor rightchord.
I^cjt,^ Quimmbaryg,ibnutofBeorrbore.nBdasrtupanwdinLniisangsu1s0pe0c%tttoha1t%t,hewietlhec-a 2.HomerGoestoCollege(Season5)
|rRfP|1'>^pri-\ tainosnwevrr;asmroisggtedo,faBnobd'sSmivtohteerKsh»elaprestdoealdeaadntdhebumriteodthien Synopsis:TheNuclearRegulatoryCommissiondiscov- ChrisCorsano&MickFlowerDuo
^^Ta'' tBhoebSipnrtiongcfoinefledsscienmge;tQeruyi.mBbayrtgeatnsdhiLsijsoabtbriacckk,SainddesBhoobw efrosrthhiastjoHbo.mBeurmsSismepnsdosnHiosmdeanrgetroocuoslllyeguendteorqgueatliafdiee-d TheRa[TdeixatnilteM]irror
^ goesbacktoprison. greeinnuclearphysics.Homerenterscollegeexpecting
ittobelikeateencomedy.Whenhe'sdoingpoorlyin TochooseonlyoneCorsano-relat-
A' Bart:Ohno!Thedeadhaverisen,andthey'revoting hisclasses,thedeanhireshimthreenerdytutors.In- edreleasefromasingleyearisadifficulttask
4> Z Republican! steadoftryingtoleamfromthem,hedecidestoteach Workingwithsomanyvaryingartists,it'sto
themhowtopartyandplaypranks,suchaskidnapping Corsano'screditthatthequalityisalwaysso
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fSf^3 Quimby:Hey,Iamnolongerilliterate! athishouseoutofguilt(muchtoMarge'schagrin).To assodatehisnameonlywithjazz,Corsano's
helpthemgetbackintocollege,Homerdevisesaprank preferenceforthemoregeneralfreeimpro- . ,5-7r^v^v^TrK."1 '
tjIiti/ BIHadorUtmi-nekgirlpol(lilinocgoyk.pionlgicya.t..bablluott):IHDmOm,agIredeonv'rtitahgrheiesvSnetlhmhai-s Hienondmwsehriu'cpshitcnahret.hnBeeurhtdosswpwhiitelalnlstaahvneedtpHhroeamndkeeargnocefosrnfoaemwsisbyee,sitnthgheaftudteeabvn-y pvalinastaytMeiriorinrnotnraogceshrietnlagpilsnelygeexdnpirlseap.ilnaHyasw:vhihanetgisTprhaeenviRaoadudesipl-ty ^^^t.^^•^'-^(f^i-yJl^^'Hji.ia",^'.'^t'fV^'^^t'''^^Ui^,^^^i
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thisepisodewaswrittenbytheingeniousConanO'Brien. anoxygentankthathebelievesgiveshimsexualpowers! rock-orientated
Homer'scompleteineptitudeatwork,hispreconceivedno- Homer:Hey,that'sahalf-truth.(Homerchangeschannels
tionsofcollege,andhisideaofagoodprankaresomeof toSallyJesseRaphael)
btrhieefhiagnhdlirghatnsdoofmtRhiecheapirsdodNei.xoAlnsoa,ppwehaorandcoeesna'sttlhoevemotshte WmeotmaHno:me(crrySinigm)pIsodnon'otrkhnaodwanHyomcoenrtaScitmwpistohnh-iIm've-nbeuvter-
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hilarity. Sally:It'sokay.Yourtearssaymorethanrealevidenceever
could.
1.HomerBadman(Season6)
Synopsis:HomerandMargegotoacandyconventionand DanenAnsissGFrraabnbzer()a:sTHiommeetroSgirambpsmoensionmHeosmweeereeSt:-Portraitof DeepchoTrhedPCorledseesnttSse;aEsocnhospacc
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winnerSusanSarandon{DeadManWalking)as real-lifeexperiencetotheroleofthealcoholic
Speed'smom,JohnGoodman{EvanAlmighty) playboy.
asPopsRacerandMatthewFox(«Lost*)asthe
mysteriousRacerX- 7.Wanted(June27th)
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tha,MirandaandCharlotte.Setfouryearslater, inTheLastKingofScotlandandAtonement.DidI
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ateaboutclothes,moneyandmenasever.Also
returningareChristopherNothasMr.Big,Jason
LewisasJerry«Smith»JerrodandMarioCan-
toneasAntonyMarantino.
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andbadgeringbyfans,theoriginalc^treturnsfor
onelasttime.Ifyouareadevotedfanoftheshow,
thisissomethingnottobemissed.Withalarger
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ahJessicaParker.Sadly,theyappeartobeasmuch
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theconclusiontotheserieswillmostlikelyfocus
onmarriageandbabies,ratherthanthe sex»in
thescriestitle,fenswillbegladtoseeCarriefi-
nallygetaproperfairytaleending(yawn).
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BasedontheMarvelcomiccharacter.
IronManstars RobertDovmeyJr.(Zodiac),as
thewealthyindustriahstTonyStark.Afterbeing
kidnappedoverseas,Tonyisusedbyterroriststo
buildadangerousdevicethatmaydevastatethe
6.f&/t>7^(October3rd) Begins.Inthischapterofthefranchise,tthheeCCaanpeedd ppiitnigEtthhrroouugghhoouutttthheehhoouurrlloonnegnpiieecceeiinnaann Sfr^'*'i6^fc^**it•i^J
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toassassinateAdolphHider.Afterbeingwounded lionDollarBaby)andnewallyHarveyDent(Aaron
inAfrica,StaunfFenbergreturnstoNaziGermany Eckhart,ThankYouforSmoking),Batmanwillstopat
wherehehelpsdevelopOperationVallgrie,aplan nothingtoridGothamdtyofitsnewmenace.Mag-
tomanagetheturmoilwithinhishomecountry.He gieGyllenhaal{StrangerthanFiction)alsostars.
eventuallyjoins theGerman Resistance andbe- Whythebuzz:Thesequelpromisestobe
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hasnotbeeneasyforTomCruise.Duetohhbe- thetrailer,doesaprettygoodjobatit.Atleastthe
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Whythebuzz:WordofanewStarTrek sound,thereisimmedbtelyastrongfeeling
5.Z6fA'-/';/«2CJuly2Sth) filmhashadallsd-figeeksinanuproarofexdte- ofdarkness-eventerror-thatconfirmsany
Ten years aftertheirfirstfilm release, ment,aswellas,contemplationoverthenewcast. suspidonsonemighthavehadattheRoth-
Mulder and Sadly arc back to investigate the ThoseconfirmedtojointheremakeincludeZach- ko-esque album artwork {Rothko, whom
II strangeandunusualinthismoviesequelAlthough aryQuinto(«Heroes»),EricBana{TheHulk),Wi- Rowehasbeenavocalsupporterof,com-
4 littiehasbeen said aboutthe film's plot,David nonaRyder{GirlInterrupted)andSimonPegg{Hot mittedsuiddcin 1970).Thesetwopoints
Duchovnyrevealsthatthestorywillbeverymuch Fuzz}.However,fansquestionwhetherthefilmwill becomemoreobviousintheprogressivelay-
a supernaturalthrillerfocusingon hischaracter. remainfaithfidtothesd-fiseriesandifnewcomer ering,richinbothformalintrigueanddevas-
FoxMulder,andhisrelationshipwithDanaScully ChrisPinewillablyfillWilliam Shatner's shoes tatingemotionalaffect.Forthelatterreason,
(GillianAnderson).Joiningtheoriginaltwosome astheyoungKirk.Butifyoudon'tcareifWinona it'sdifficult,evenafterextensiveUstens,to
arenewfecesAmandaPeet{TheWholeNineYards), shopliftsSpeck'sears,thenmaybethisfilmstandsa adequatelyenundatetheexperienceofThe
BillyConnolly{Fido)andXzibit{Derailed). chanceafterall Room.Likeapsdnting,thisworkstands,inits
Whythebuzz:Ifyouareadevotedfan onetrack,personallyandnakedly.Asastate-
oftheoncepopulartelevisionshow,thiswillmost 1.IndianaJonesandtheKingdomoftheCrystalSkull mentinEAJ,TheRoomisoneofthestron-
likelycxdteyourknickers.However,highexpecta- (May22nd) gestI'veheard,andthebestpieceofmusic
Jl tionsforthelongawraitedsequelmaypredetermine Themostantidpatedfilmof2008isthe releasedin2007.
thisfilm'sfailure.Withthefirstfilmoftheseries returnofbelovedcharacterIndianaJones inthis
garneringmixedreviews,willitssequelbeasunsuc- fourthfilmoftheseries.StevenSpielbergdirects
cessful,ifnotmore,thanitspredecessor?Let'sjust Harrison Ford asIndie,alongwith Karen Allen 1S4
hopethistimearounddiealiensareabitscarier {RaidersoftheLostArk),GateBlanchett{Elizabeth:
than£.7? TheGoldenAge)andShiaLeBeoxif{TVan^ormers)in
thisnewadventure.Setin1957,IndianaJonesfinds
m 4.Bond22(November7th) himselfbattlingagentsoftheSovietUnionforthe
womanizerDaanniedlspCerciaailgagreetnutrnJsameassBthoenddaisnhitnheg crystalskulWl.hythebuzz:Almosttwentyyearssince UGK
twenty-secondfilmofthefranchise.Nowordon the firstfilm, Harrison Ford return as the wise UndergroundKingz
whatBondwillencounterthistimebuttheprem- crackingarcheologistIndianaJoneshavebrought [Ji™]
isewillmostlikelyincludeexoticcarchases,explo- bothexdtementandwondertofansasmanyawait
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Whythebuzz:AfterthesuccessofCasino oncedid,butI'mbettinghecanstillpulloffafew outrecentlacklustreefforts himself,Pimp
RDoaynaileel,CaruadiigenacsetshheanveewquBiocnkdlyaancdcearpeteidnttehreesbteldontdo bmeorseeebinrgu.isBesthanusual.ThisisonefilmI'llactually Cri'tsyathdemoSnouitshhmweanstheoafdtehdedpoawtnhporfiomredtoiotch-e
seewhathevrillbringnexttotheBondfranchise. releaseofthisalbumonlyservedtoamplify
IheBondfilmshavealwaysbeenentertainingno alreadyloftyexpectations:asforefathersof
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willbeexplored(forrealthistime),andhopefiJly tingthatinthis,thebestrapreleaseofthe
therewillbelessofthe«loveydavey•sap. year.PimpCandBunBnotonlyemphasize
ii theirlegacy,butalsointegratewithintheir
3.TheDarkKnightQulyIStfi) signaturesoundana-listofguests,Southern
ChristianBalereturnstotheroleofBruce andotherwise.Three6Mafia,OutKast,Big
Wayneinthishighly-anticipatedsequeltoBatman Daddy Kane,Too IhortandevenDizzee
mm
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Five Exceptional
Fantasy Films Rascalareonlyafewofwhoshowuptolend
ahand,UGKoftendeftlytradinginthese
artists'differentstyles.Alongsidethis,allthe
BEFORE(helist,afewwordsonthe arerelatableparables,notcinematicDungeonsand whiotnhtertoofpUeGntKupre(sluilttesralilny,ainraPriemdpouCb'lsecaCseD)
reasoningbehinditsselections: Dragonstournaments.All the films listed here wherethere'snorealslack.Fmallyhearing
Thislistisnotmeanttodefinitivelyor- haveonefootplantedfirmlyinourworld,allow- BunB,comingoffanendlesssupplyofex-
derTHEfivegreatestfontasyfilmsevermade,but ingforeasysavoringanddigestionoftheirmoral- cellentguestappearances,onceagainpaired
tomerelyprovidefiveworksofstand-outquality ladentales.Itisnocoincidencethatallbutoneof withPimpCistherealdraw,though. Jnt7
anduniquenessfromthegenre.Asonemaynotice, themusechildrenastheirmainprotagonists,thus PlayersAnthem easilythebesttrackofthe
thesefilmsareallactuallyofaspecificsortoffan- benefitingfromthebeautifiillysimpleviewpoint year,isstillatitsbestwhenBunBisonthe
tasy:thefairytale.Thiswasanintentionalmove oftheyoungandinnocent.Thisairofsimplidty mic,while QuitHatintheSouth and«
meanttotapfantasycinemainitspurestform. isthekeyfeaturethatunitesthesefilms,allovving HowLongCanItLast» remindjusthow
Whileuber-popularliteraryadaptationssuchas theirviewers,nomatterhowold,toexperiencethe goodthetwoaretogether-asambassadors
TheLordoftheRings,HarryPotter,TheChroniclesof purewondermentthatfantasyingeneralwasmade ofandadvisorsfortheentireSouthernstyle.
Namiaand,mostrecently,TheGo/denCompassare for. Thoughitwillbedramatizedasafinalword,
ftihnaetparroedfurcetesroafndthmeogreenrset,rIipspoeudghdtotwongianthteerrmfislmosf 1.Pan'sLabyrinth tlhuigshiscaalinbraelobfumtaltehnatttshiamtplUyGcKonthianduedseltihve-
theirstoryelements.1wasn'tlookingforfilmsthat (GuillermoDelToro.Mexico/Spain,2006) eredthroughouttheircareer.
cameadornedwithtoomanypoliticalintricacies,
rulesandinstitutions,thereforethosecontaining It'strue-allthehypeisjustified;allthe
MinistriesofMagic,elvencouncilsandMagiste- adorationdeserved:Pan'sLabyrinthisasgoodas
riumsneednotapply.Ialsowantedtoavoidfilms fantasydnemagets.ThistaleofagirlnamedOfe-
thatswelltoepicproportionstowardstheend;the liawhoencountersafaun,fairiesandothermagi-
lundsthatalwaysinevitablyculminateinamassive calbeingsin1944Spainisvividlyrealizedwitha
finalbatdefilledwithchargingarmies,svringing masterstoryteller'sdelicatecareandamasterfilm-
swordsandallmannersofmayhem.Captivating maker'seyefordetail.Thefilm'ssturmingvisual
asthesesequencesmaybe,theycanalsoleavethe styleconstructsanimmersivegreen-huedworld RicardoVillalobos
viewerfeelingdrainedandcrushedbytheall-im- punctuatedwithicybluesandviolentsplashesof fabric36
portantSignificanceofwhatevermagicalconflict redandorange.Inaninspireddeploymentofnar- [Fabric]
isbeingportrayed.Alsoexemptwerefilmswith rativestrategy,DeToroquitestraight-forwardly
sletbarri-tsyttuhdadtedcacnastdsi,srsuipmtpltyhediulelustioontshethaeuyrawoorfkces-o efaxnatmaisnyebsyhmoawkirnegalseyvmebnotlsichepalrpalslehlaspebewtowrelednshoisf RicardoViItl'lsableobcoosmitongtaiknecreaawsirnognlyghsatredp.fAor
hardtocreate(« IsthatRobertDeNiradressedasa youngheroine'sma^calexploitsandthebrutalre- kingintheminimaltechnoworld,hisname
pirate»?).Foragenrewithsuchimaginativepossi- alityoftheSpanishCivilWar(recallingC.S.Lew- isalmostalwaysdroppedalongsideamen-
bilities,thesefilmsshouldbememorableformore is'ChristianallegoryandJ,R,R.TolkienandPhilip tionofthemarathonDJsessionsheroutinely
thanwhoevergottopbilling.Fmally,noneofthat Pullman'sfantasticalre-imaginingsofWorldWar
ConantheBarbarian,Drizzt-the-dark-elf,swords- Ielements).Here,thewickedstepfatherfigureis
and-sorccrystuffwillbefoundhereeither-these embodiedbythedespicableCaptainVidalofthe