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419 Pages·2017·2.41 MB·English
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CONFLUENCE OF INFLUENCE: INDIAN-AMERICAN YOUTHS’ PERCEPTION, NEGOTIATION, AND TRANSFORMATION OF ARRANGED MARRIAGE TRADITIONS IN MODERN AMERICAN SOCIETY by DIANNE LAURA FABII A dissertation submitted to the Graduate School-Camden Rutgers, The State University of New Jersey In partial fulfillment of the requirements For the degree of Doctor of Philosophy Graduate Program in Childhood Studies Written under the direction of Daniel Hart, Ed.D. And approved by _____________________________________ Daniel Hart, Ed.D. ______________________________________ Daniel T. Cook, Ph.D. _______________________________________ John Wall, Ph.D. Camden, New Jersey May 2017 ABSTRACT OF THE DISSERTATION Confluence of Influence: Indian-American Youths’ Perception, Negotiation, and Transformation of Arranged Marriage Traditions in Modern American Society by DIANNE LAURA FABII Dissertation Director: Daniel Hart, Ed.D. This dissertation examines how second generation Indian-American youth in the United States are negotiating and transforming the practice of arranged marriage. The tradition of arranged marriage has been modeled in their families for generations, but these youth are growing up in a cultural context that highly values freedom of choice and embraces autonomy, as well as validates various alternative lifestyles other than marriage. The bicultural identities of second generation Indian-American youth provide a framework for their decisions about future marriage. Little is known about how Indian-American youth view the preservation of cultural and familial marriage traditions. Through the use of a three part survey on the topics of marriage, choice and emotional expression, as well as in-depth interviews, this project explored how Indian-American youth formulate their constructions of marriage, and how they are situated amid many influences of modern western society. A social constructivist approach was utilized to elicit detailed descriptions of the perceptions and insights of the youth subjects, aged 15 to 21. This enabled the formulation of theory grounded in the lived experiences of these youth. Adults aged 30-61 also completed surveys and interviews to provide parental viewpoints in order to discern generational differences. Subjects were located in New Jersey, New York, Philadelphia and Chicago. The primary finding of this research is that second ii generation Indian-American youth are not completely rejecting or indiscriminately resisting the practice of arranged marriage. They are open to matchmaking, but they desire choice in the process. They embrace traditional family values, consider the guidance of their elders, and desire parental approval and blessing of their future marriage decisions. They negotiate parental rules, expectations and communications in a variety of ways to exert agency in decisions related to participation in premarital social activities. Though the influences of globalism and western culture impact how Indian- American youth shape their opinions and decisions, these forces have not erased their allegiance to Indian traditions. iii ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS Firstly, I extend my most sincere gratitude to Dr. Daniel Hart, chair of my dissertation committee, and mentor from the beginning of my journey in the Childhood Studies program. I am deeply indebted to him for his unfailing kindness, patience and dedication to me, and for all that he has taught me in the past ten years. Additionally, I am profoundly grateful to the other members of my dissertation committee, Dr. Daniel Cook and Dr. John Wall, for their guidance, encouragement, insightful comments and various perspectives that have enriched this work and my education at Rutgers University. Together, this great group truly has been my dream team, and I could not have asked for a finer group of gentlemen and scholars to lead me. I am especially grateful to all of the youth and adult participants who completed surveys and interviews, and who gave life and meaning to this study. Their generous gifts of time and gracious sharing of their stories are most appreciated. Without them, this work could not have been possible. My special thanks are extended to the following individuals for their assistance in recruiting participants for this study: Sam and Mary George, and Dr. Jacob Darly of Parivar International; Rev. Arulraj Singarayer of the Diocese of Metuchen; Rev. M. Antony Jegadhees of the Archdiocese of New York, and Kerri Wilson of Rutgers University. Additionally I am grateful to Ken Welde and Christopher Vokolos for their able and kind assistance with statistical analysis, and to Patricia Moore for her great help with transcription of audio recordings. iv For their continuous support, encouragement and insight which contributed immensely to this study, I extend my very special thanks to Patrick, Tina, and Merlin Amalraj, Amalraj and Chandra Thangasamy, Dr. D. and Mrs. J. Selvanathan, Nancy and Naren Pandiakumar, Dr. Mary Vinola Jenifer, Smita Shah, Jyoti Shah, Vandana Argarwal and Herman Bhasin. And for their endless moral support in ways too numerous to mention, which touched my life so often throughout this process, I am very grateful to Dr. Diane Marano, Dr. Marla Wander, MaryLee McKelvey, Phyliss Bellopede, Elaine Vokolos, Carole Hurst, and many colleagues at the Evesham Township and Lee County School Districts. Above all, I am most grateful to God for this opportunity, and for seeing me through the many challenges that occurred throughout this journey. I learned once again that indeed, all things are possible through Him. v DEDICATION This dissertation is dedicated to two special people who have been deeply influential in leading me on a most unexpected path of studying Indian culture, and inspiring in me a love of colorful India, its amazing people, and its rich traditions. First, it is dedicated posthumously to Francis Ravi, who introduced me to the beauty and culture of India, and to the customs of arranged marriage. This study would not have begun without his indelible influence and our charitable work together. I am deeply grateful to him for many lessons learned, for sharing incredible cultural experiences, and for the chance to serve his people through the life-changing work we shared. Additionally, this work is dedicated to Sahayaraj Thangasamy, who expanded my horizons of study by introducing me to facets of anthropology, sociology and folklore, which contributed greatly to the pursuit of this dissertation. Because of him, I have an “adopted Indian family” who have contributed so much to my understanding of Indian culture by allowing me to live it with and through them in ways too numerous to mention. I am forever grateful to him for these blessings, and for daring me to dream that this dissertation could be accomplished. vi TABLE OF CONTENTS Introduction: Indian-American Youth and Arranged Marriage in the 21st Century ......................................................................................................... 1 Intersections of Influences and Issues.................................................................... 4 Subjects of the Study ............................................................................................. 7 Elements of Focus and Theoretical Framework .................................................... 8 Personal Interest and Qualifications to Undertake Study .................................... 10 Significance of Study ........................................................................................... 12 Chapter Outline .................................................................................................... 13 Chapter One: Literature Review: Contexts for Arranged Marriage in Indian-American Families.......................................................................................... 16 Theoretical Framework and Existing Research ............................................................ 17 Grounded Theory ................................................................................................. 17 Social Exchange Theory ...................................................................................... 18 Assimilation Theory............................................................................................. 20 Recent Studies with Indian-American Youth and Adults .................................... 23 Related Studies with Young Adults in India........................................................ 31 Challenges in Adolescence and Early Adulthood ................................................ 36 Romance .............................................................................................................. 40 Dating, Marriage and Alternate Lifestyles .................................................................... 41 Dating as a Precursor to Marriage ....................................................................... 42 Social Practices and Double Standards ................................................................ 43 Marriage as an Institution .................................................................................... 44 vii Social Stigmas of Alternative Lifestyles: The Struggles to Be Single Divorced or Gay ................................................................................................ 47 Relevant Research on Autonomy and Choice .............................................................. 50 The Autonomous Self within Individualist and Collectivist Orientations ........... 51 Adolescent Autonomy ......................................................................................... 56 Adolescents’ Disclosure of Information and Sense of Personal Jurisdiction ...... 57 Moral Dimension of Social Responsibility .......................................................... 59 Moral Frameworks of Development .................................................................... 61 Relevant Research on Emotional Expression ............................................................... 62 Gender and Equality ............................................................................................ 63 Identity Formation ............................................................................................... 63 Shaping, Doing and Managing Emotion .............................................................. 64 Emotional Labor and Ensuing Struggles ............................................................. 65 Additional Cultural Considerations and Sensitivities .......................................... 66 Chapter Two: Research Design and Methods ............................................................ 68 Research Questions .............................................................................................. 69 Quantitative Data Collection ......................................................................................... 70 Data Collection Instrument .................................................................................. 70 Sections of the Survey ......................................................................................... 74 Section I of the Survey: Marriage and Family .................................................... 74 Section II of the Survey: Choice ......................................................................... 75 Section III of the Survey: Emotional Expression ............................................... 76 Online Version of Survey .................................................................................... 77 viii Survey Collection................................................................................................. 78 Survey Analysis ................................................................................................... 78 Qualitative Data Collection........................................................................................... 79 Design and Conduct of Interviews ....................................................................... 81 Interview Analysis ............................................................................................... 82 Coding of Transcripts and Categorization of Themes ......................................... 83 Validity Checks .................................................................................................... 84 Sampling, Participants and Access ............................................................................... 84 Research Sites and Locations............................................................................... 86 Participants ........................................................................................................... 88 Challenges and Successes with Data Collection, Sampling and Access ............. 89 Chapter Three: Dating in Indian-American Life ...................................................... 96 The World of Adolescent Dating in the Twenty-First Century ........................... 99 Parents’ Limited Dating Experiences ................................................................ 102 Dating in Indian-American Culture ................................................................... 104 Romance ............................................................................................................ 108 Social Life without Dating and Attendance at School Functions ...................... 111 Parental Rules Regarding Social Interactions .................................................... 113 Age Limitations on Dating................................................................................. 118 Dating as Distraction and as Discernment ......................................................... 120 Dating Choices and Family Reputation ............................................................. 126 Parental Control on Youth Behavior and Dating ............................................... 129 Dating Experimentation ..................................................................................... 132 ix Influence of Various Forms of Media ........................................................................ 134 Communication and Self-Expression through Mobile Devices and Social Media............................................................................................. 138 Targeted Websites and Cultural-Social Events to Facilitate Meeting ............... 142 Freedom and Choice with Dating and Eventual Marriage .......................................... 144 Comparison of Peers and Autonomy in Decision-Making ................................ 147 Emerging Themes and Questions for the Future ............................................... 153 Chapter Four: Indian-American Modes of Marriage in the Modern World........ 158 We Just Met and Now We’re Married ....................................................................... 162 The Practice of Arranged Marriage: Defunct or Different ....................................... 166 Relevance, Desire and Importance of Arranged Marriage ................................ 166 Romantic Love as a Foundation for Marriage ................................................... 177 Gender and Arranged Marriage ......................................................................... 180 Acceptance of Arranged Marriage ..................................................................... 182 Finding a Marriage Candidate and Choosing a Spouse .............................................. 184 Use of Internet to Find a Bride or Bridegroom .................................................. 185 Parent or Child: Who Should Decide? .............................................................. 187 Matching Elements: What is Important in a Prospective Spouse .............................. 190 Conflict over Matching Elements ...................................................................... 192 Caste .................................................................................................................. 194 Class, Socio-Economic Status and Education ................................................... 197 Religion .............................................................................................................. 200 Marrying Non-Indians ....................................................................................... 205 x

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States are negotiating and transforming the practice of arranged marriage. The tradition of arranged These include adolescent development of South Asian girls, sexuality, dating, marriage phone calls were made to initiate contact with these groups; in most cases, several contact attempts were
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