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Impossible Standards A Novel Christiana Harrell Copyright © 2009 by Christiana Harrell This is a work of fiction. The author has invented the characters. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopy, recording, or any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher except for the use of brief quotations in a book review. Edited By: Christina Cosse‟, Sherrill Harrell, Trelani Duncan Poem by: Natasia Easley aka Flow2Eazy Email the author: [email protected] First Edition Photo Credit: (c) 4774344sean / www.fotosearch.com Visit: christianaharrell.com ISBN-13: 978-1480165502 ISBN-10: 1480165506 Preface I had an ex that would always say that women had “impossible standards” and I had to ask myself if I was in fact one of those women. I also had to think to myself that maybe the jerk only said it because he himself did not have much to offer any woman. I went with thought number two and after ten months that relationship had run its course. Although the game of love was over, the words “impossible standards” stuck in my brain and I decided that it was a catchy title. We‟ve all read about difficult women, so what‟s one more? I decided to mix two of my worse relationships together to make one bad experience because I know that there are women out there who can empathize with what I went through. I figured that maybe I could help someone realize the signs before they get caught up with a cheater and a liar and then afterwards not allow the bad experience taint who they are and allow the right person to love them. In this book, you will find a woman who is all out of love. There is one man, however, who will help her realize that she never gave her love away at all. It is a true tale of love and triumph—if you‟re into that sort of thing. This book is based on personal experiences as well as those close to me. I drew from what lied deep in my heart and now I‟m sharing it with you. There is no such thing as having your standards too high. You are who you are and you want what you want, but be sure remember you‟re able to offer all that you ask for in return. I hope you enjoy this book! Acknowledgements Now with that said I‟d like to thank my two wonderful ex‟s Cricket and Mole, is what we‟ll call them, for being disasters, but leaving me with a story to tell. And to the beautiful people who showed me that love does not have to be complicated I love you very much. To my mother Tammy who wrote me a letter that changed my life after the last time I had my heartbroken, you are a true warrior in life and love and I don‟t know what I‟d do without you. Dedication: To the battered, the broken, and the bruised…you are good enough. To the nice guys that finish last, let the bad men have the trash. Table of Contents PROLOGUE 1 FLASHES OF THE PAST 5 REKINDLE 29 APRIL SHOWERS 39 MAY FLOWERS 57 QUICK REMINDERS 69 THE DISTRACTIONS 79 CROSSING PATHS AND THE MAJORITY 89 NICE JOB, NEVER BEEN MARRIED, AND NO KIDS? 105 OPTIONAL, BUT SEXY TATTOOS AND OWN PLACE 121 CONSIDERATE 137 GOD-FEARING AND FUNNY 145 MAKES THE FIRST MOVE, GREAT KISSER, GREAT…. 157 DANCING 167 LOYAL 183 PASSIONATE AND ROMANTIC 191 LOVES TRYING NEW FOODS 201 LOVES TO READ, LOVER OF ALL THINGS ART 209 MISERY LOVES COMPANY 223 HURRICANE SEASON WITH MR. INTELLECTUAL 233 SECURE AND CONFIDENT 243 LOVES TO TRAVEL 249 THIRTY DAYS AND THIRTY NIGHTS 275 SECOND CHANCES 289 Prologue “It‟s about damn time you answered the phone. Are you okay?” Madra asked. “I feel a lot better,” I said sitting in the middle of the bed recovering from my cemetery breakdown. “Are you sure?” she asked again. “Yeah I‟m sure. I‟m just ready to get back into my routine.” “Well, before you do that, do you think you could have a little fun and come to a card party tonight and let Paul and I whip you and lover boy in some spades?” “I think I just might do that.” “Good, you and Emmanuel can bring the paper plates and stuff.” “Does Emmanuel know already?” “Yeah, Paul told him. The original plan was to just bring you here against your will.” “I‟ve been forced to do a lot against my will the past couple of months. I don‟t think a card party would have killed me.” I smiled. “I‟m just happy to hear your voice. I was worried.” “Don‟t be. Emmanuel has been wonderful.” “Well, you and Mr. Wonderful better get here before seven.” “We‟ll be there.” I laughed, then we said our goodbyes until later. I hung up my cell and stretched. I had slept all day while Emmanuel ran errands. I smiled and thought about how great of a man he really was. 1 The front door opened as thoughts of him crossed my mind and there he was, “Hey sleepy head,” he said. “Hey.” I smirked. “You talked to Madra?” “We just got off the phone a minute ago.” “Well why aren‟t you up getting dressed?” “I‟m getting up.” I hopped out of bed and got dressed. It would be good to get around some good people and have a few drinks and few laughs. I had isolated myself long enough. I needed to call my mom and dad when I got a chance, because they had called the most since I went away. I just still wasn‟t ready. I dressed and Emmanuel and I headed to the store to get our items for the party. We pulled up to the dollar store and went in. “I‟m going look for cards,” Emmanuel said. “I‟m sure they have cards. It‟s a card party.” “I don‟t trust people. They can rig the deck,” he said then headed off. “Whatever, I‟m going find the plates and stuff.” I walked off into the opposite direction. I walked down to the last isle and turned to my left. I stopped in my tracks when I saw Tavis stocking shelves. I tried to turn around so he wouldn‟t see me, but I didn‟t move fast enough. He stopped what he was doing and walked over to me. “I texted you, did you get it?” “Yeah I have just been real busy…” “Busy ignoring me?” “It‟s not like that.” “It‟s cool. I understand. I just wanted you to know I was sorry for your loss…” 2