Robert A. Schultz, Ph.D., & James R. Delisle, Ph.D. PRUFROCK PRESS INC. WACO, TEXAS Dedication Bob dedicates this book to Brendon and Caytlin. I may know giftedness from “catching” it and studying it, but you really don’t know giftedness until you have to live with it! And to Cindy, what can I say? There is a special place in heaven waiting for you. You live with it times three! Jim dedicates this book, his 17th, to the same people to whom he dedicated his first book, in 1983: “Deb and Matt, for their continuous love and sharing.” Same words . . . identical sentiment. Copyright © 2013 Prufrock Press Inc. Edited by Lacy Compton Production design by Raquel Trevino ISBN-13: 978-1-61821-051-7 No part of this book may be reproduced, translated, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, microfilming, recording, or otherwise, without written permission from the publisher. At the time of this book’s publication, all facts and figures cited are the most current available. All telephone numbers, addresses, and website URLs are accurate and active. All publications, organizations, websites, and other resources exist as described in the book, and all have been verified. The authors and Prufrock Press Inc. make no warranty or guarantee concerning the information and materials given out by organizations or content found at websites, and we are not responsible for any changes that occur after this book’s publication. If you find an error, please contact Prufrock Press Inc. Prufrock Press Inc. P.O. Box 8813 Waco, TX 76714-8813 Phone: (800) 998-2208 Fax: (800) 240-0333 http://www.prufrock.com Table Of Contents ACKNOWLEDGMENTS INTRODUCTION CHAPTER 1 What Is Giftedness? CHAPTER 2 Friends, Peers, and Fitting in CHAPTER 3 What Do You Expect? CHAPTER 4 The Many Stories of School CHAPTER 5 Family Life CHAPTER 6 A Look Toward the Future CHAPTER 7 Questions and Answers. . . Sort of REFERENCES ABOUT THE AUTHORS Acknowledgments Merci Beaucoup! We want to thank the many thousands of gifted individuals the world over who contributed to our understanding about giftedness by responding to our questionnaires at http://www.giftedkidspeak.com, sending us their stories about growing up gifted, and talking to us while we are teaching, presenting at conferences, or sometimes, just hanging out for fun. The contributors of the longer stories and insights in this book hold a special place in our hearts and minds. You inspire us to continue our work with your spot-on stories and experiences. Thank you for taking the time to share. You may not know it yet, but you’ve touched the future through these pages. And, to our families, the resilience to carry on with the grand task of birthing a book is nothing short of miraculous. Without your patience, kindness, and willingness to endure periods of hysteria, joy, and sometimes generalized crankiness, this project would never have come to fruition. Introduction WE live in a world obsessed with speed—the quickest network, the broadest coverage, cloud computing, and even food that can’t seem to be served or eaten fast enough. While inhaling said food, you can retrieve answers to any question or gain entry to the world’s largest repository of information in a virtual instant via the Internet and handheld devices. Yet, when it comes to understanding—or even defining—giftedness, we seem to be in no rush to get there. For more than a century, giftedness (and its “close cousin,” talent development) has been studied. Literally millions of words have been written describing this construct. Yet, the majority of people who have taken the time to study high intelligence and ability have done so from afar—a research lab, a university classroom, or a counselor’s office. Although there is nothing wrong with learning about the idea of giftedness from these places, the people who best know both the high points and the hurdles of giftedness are the teens who wear the “gifted” label. No doubt, a teen like you. In the pages that follow, you will have the opportunity to “meet” giftedness through the voices and experiences of teens and young adults bearing that label. They share their stories, insights, anxieties, and joys, and they give some advice about growing up gifted from their own personal perspectives. In addition to the hundreds of student comments encased within these pages, you’ll also find Your Turn boxes throughout the book. We created these reflective activities with the hope that they would enable and encourage you to see giftedness through your own experiences with this label. We hope that in completing some of these exercises, you will find out even more about your giftedness and how it impacts (or can impact) your life. HOW THIS BOOK CAME TO BE As university professors, researchers, and teachers, we spend a lot of time reading the literature associated with giftedness. One limitation we constantly find is that people talk about giftedness and make statements or give advice based on what they think giftedness means. But very little of this advice comes directly from gifted students. So, beginning in 2003, we asked gifted individuals around the world to share their beliefs, experiences, and concerns by responding to questionnaires on our website (http://www.giftedkidspeak.com). The process continues to this day, with tens of thousands of individuals having shared their thoughts thus far. In If I’m So Smart, Why Aren’t the Answers Easy?, we focus on sharing stories from gifted teens, for gifted teens. What you’ll find between this book’s covers are representative answers, unique stories, and some interesting insights from more than 5,000 teens and young adults who took the time to answer our questionnaires. You’ll also find some more elaborate stories from gifted teens and young adults about the paths they have taken—or not taken—in coming to terms with their own high intelligence and abilities. We have learned time and time again that gifted individuals, as unique as each one is, share many thoughts and beliefs when it comes to school, friends, expectations, and life in general. Our hope is that in reading these stories, you will recognize some elements from them in you. We know these teens . . . and we think you should, too. Even in a world as fast-paced as ours, slowing down to consider the person you are, and the one you hope to become, seems to us a worthwhile task. We hope you agree. Chapter 1 What Is Giftedness? THE definition of giftedness is one of the most hotly debated topics by anyone having any interest in ability. In fact, within the field of gifted education, experts have yet to agree upon a common set of gifted behaviors and tendencies —let alone clearly state a distinction between being gifted and/or talented. Is giftedness real? What does the term mean? We believe giftedness is a state of being, and it is real. We also know that being labeled affects your life (more than just at school!). Is it something you will outgrow? Can you be cured? We needed help in setting the record straight. So we asked gifted individuals around the world to help us answer these questions. And here’s a sampling of what was said. What do you think being gifted means? What is your reaction to the term“gifted”? Being gifted means an ability to learn things faster. My reaction to the term is “I’m not gifted.” I just work hard. I think calling exceptionally smart people “gifted” takes credit away from their hard work and effort and says, “they were just born that way.” —Girl, 13, Oklahoma Gifted is like the plague. You get identified and everyone around you
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