I Am Better Than Your Kids

471 Pages·2011·34.2 MB·English

by  Maddox

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Gallery Books
A Division of Simon & Schuster, Inc.
1230 Avenue of the Americas
New York, NY 10020
www.SimonandSchuster.com
Copyright © 2011 by George Ouzounian
All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof
in any form whatsoever. For information address, Gallery Books Subsidiary
Rights Department, 1230 Avenue of the Americas, New York, NY 10020.
First Gallery Books hardcover edition November 2011
GALLERY BOOKS and colophon are registered trademarks of Simon &
Schuster, Inc.
The Simon & Schuster Speakers Bureau can bring authors to your live event. For
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Bureau at 1-866-248-3049 or visit our website at www.simonspeakers.com.
Manufactured in the United States of America
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available.
ISBN 978-1-4391-8286-4 (print)
ISBN 978-1-43918287-1 (ebook)
To the only person I know who’s had two books dedicated to him: Me.
Contents
Introduction
Chapter 1: Special Cars from Special Kids
Chapter 2: Unintentional Hitler
Chapter 3: What Would Your Superpower Be?
Chapter 4: Developmentally Challenged Developments
Chapter 5: Bowls to Throw Up In
Chapter 6: Alien Drawings
Chapter 7: Animals or ROBOTS?
Chapter 8: Animals Fucking
Chapter 9: Your Favorite Holiday
Chapter 10: Drawing Your Family
Chapter 11: “Jokes”
Chapter 12: Shitty Inventions
Chapter 13: Cool Tree
Chapter 14: Nice Boner!
Chapter 15: Who’s Your Hero?
Chapter 16: I Have a Dream . . . That Only Ten People Should Die This
Year
Chapter 17: Drawings of Teachers and Parents
Chapter 18: Things That Scare You
Chapter 19: Dear Teacher, I’m Sorry You Wasted Your Time
Chapter 20: Pictures of Kids
Chapter 21: Batman: The Raped Crusader
Chapter 22: Ages 1–6: The Formative Years
Chapter 23: Ages 7–14: The Aftermath
Chapter 24: What You Want to Be When You Grow Up
Chapter 25: Creepy Clowns
Chapter 26: Your Dream Pet
Chapter 27: Not Picasso
Chapter 28: Your Roller Coaster Sucks the LD!
Chapter 29: Queer for a Day
Chapter 30: The Biggest Problem in the World Today
Chapter 31: The Most Beautiful Person or Thing in the World
Chapter 32: My Favorite Mouth
Chapter 33: Books by Kids, for Shredders
Chapter 34: Dear Pen Pal, My Sister Is a Cat
Chapter 35: Sexism, Drugs, AIDS and Crib Death
Chapter 36: Celebrities
Chapter 37: Jerkbook
Chapter 38: Unintentional Bukkake
Chapter 39: Child Prodigies or COCKSURE IDIOTS?
Chapter 40: Hi, I’m Painted with Crap
Chapter 41: Draw Your Favorite Food
Chapter 42: Young Maddox
Chapter 43: Cooking With Minors
Acknowledgments