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Humour the computer PDF

241 Pages·1995·42.946 MB·English
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-- com p te u r CopyrigMhatteedr ial c o m p u t e r edited bq A�t&J 1)A.V� TheM ITP ress CambridgeM,a ssachusetts and London,E ngland CopyrigMhatteedr ial Second pr1in9t9in5g , © 1995M assachuIsnestttisot fuT teec hnology Alrli ghrtess erNvoep da.r otft hibso omka yb er eproduicne d anyf orbmy a nyel ectroonrimc e chanimceaaln( si ncluding photocopryeicnogr,d oirin ngf,o rmasttioornaa gnder etrieval) withopuetr misisniw orni tifnrgot mh peu blisher. Thee dithoarsa ttempttote rda tchece o pyrihgohltdo efra ltlh e materrieaplr oduicnte hdip su blicaatnidao pno logtiozc eosp y­ righhotl deirfps e rmistsoip ounb liisnth h ifso rhma sn obte en obtainTehedc .o pyrihgohltds ehro uilndf otrhme edaintdho er , wilclo rrheicmsti staaksse o oans p ossible. Thibso owka sd esigannedds eitn M acP ageMak5.e0br y A ndrew Davisaonndp, r intaenddb ounidnt hUen itSetda toefAs m erica. LibraorfCy o ngrCeasst aloging-in-DPautbal ication HumouTrhe C omputIee rd itbeydA ndreDwa vison. p. cm. Inclubdiebsl iogrraepfheirceanlc es. ISB0N- 262-54075-4 1.E lectrdoatnapi rco cessing--2.HC uommopru.t ers--Humor. 1.D avisAonnd,r ew. PN6231.E41H98956 95-3065 818'.540208--dc20 CIP CopyrigMhatteedr ial CopyrigMhatteedr ial Contents Preface. ...................................................................................................... xiii MobyD ick2 .1.. ............................................................................................ 1 KennMe.tS ihezl doll A Stan dard fotrh Ter ansmissoifIFo n D atagrams onA vianC arriers. ............................3. ..................................................... DaviWda itzmall A Problem in thMea king ...........................................................................5 DarrRyulb in How IB oughtM y FirsCtom puter. .................7. ......................................... LarrRy. C ustead BOFH (Part1 )... .......................................................................................... 10 SimoTnr avglaia The GenerWiorcd P rocess...o...r.. ............................................................1 2 PhilipS chrodt NaturalU pgradPea th.. ............................................................................1 7 ChristoLpihsehrka The Casoef t hBeo gusEx per(tP ar1t). . ..................................................1 9 KriHsa mmond OrdinarPye ople TelHlo w They UseT heiPre rsonCaolm puter...s... 20 LucinLdua ongo Ia m theV ery Modelo fa GeniCuosm putatio..n...a...l... ......................2 2 JonatR.hP aanr tington ZorkRAM,S andt heC ursoef R a:C omputo,e rgo sum. ..................... .22 CurStu plee Laptop in Colompbuot sC ampbellin theS oup. ......................2..5.. ........ LaiS ee MasterosfC omputeSrc ien.c..e... ............................................................2 6 Lindsay Marshall You'Bd ettLoevreY ourB LANK Computer: The GeneriCc omputBeoork .. .................................. ,. ..........2..7 . ............ DuncaMna ckenzie CopyrigMhatteedr ial Contents ShakespeoanrP er ogrammi..n...g... ......................................................... 29 MichaAe.lC ovillgton EviAll ienCso ntrIolB M. ........................................................................... 30 FreddSym arm MotheSrh oulHda veW arneYdo u.!. ................................3...3... .. ............... PalBloln ner BOFH (Par2t). .. .......................................................................................... 34 SimoTnr avaglia LatetSs una ndI BMA nnouncemen.t..s.... ..............................................3 6 ChllcMkl lsciano TwelWvaey st oF ootlh eM asseWhse n GivinPge rformanRcees ults onP aralCloemlp ute..r...s.. .................................................................. 38 DaviHd. B ailey TheC aseo ft heB oguEsx per(tP ar2t).. . ................................................4. 2 KriHsa mmond ReaPlr ogrammeDrosn 'Uts eP asca...l... ................................................ 43 EdP ost GateywT aoH eave.n. ..........................54. ..................................................... Ei/eTerno n%ne Zena nd tAhreto fS oftwaDroec umentat..i....o..n... ............................. 55 W. C.C arlson TheU nixP hiloso..p...h...y... ......................................................................5 7 Anonymous FielRde placaMboluese B al..l....s.... ................... ...................................... 59 Anonymous Babba- gTehe L anguagofet heF utur..e.... ............................................ 60 TonyK arp GulliveCro'msp ute..r.... ........................................................................... 63 JonathSawni ft "UnclBei lils"in theD riverS'esa .t..!.... .................................................. 65 Anonymous BreathlSoecrkv iTcoeG o Companywid.e... ........................................... 66 Anonymous ToM yD arlingH usba.n.d.. ........................................6...8... ........ ................. Anonymous CopyrigMhatteedr ial . . . Vlll Contents .. ........ . 69 Computer-baPsreedd ictWirviet i.n...g.. .. ................... ................. PeterD eJl.l lgl in Makin g YourS erviceman FeeWle lcom e. ..............7..2 . .............................. Anomnoyus Man,B yets,D og. ......... .............................................................................. 7.3 JamGeosr man MicroslosWhaeldl ..s... ............................................ ...................................7 6 Trygve Lode TheT inM en. ............................................................................................... 77 MichaFerla yn A Users VFirewo mT heT railEidngge ... ............................................... 8.2 WillEi.Ka oms t . .. ...87 Lips:T heyM ay AlsoS ervWheo, DeclitnoeE nli.s..t.. ............. ... ... RobeMr.tE aer The Casoeft heB ogusE xpert( Pa3r)t.. .. ................................................ 88 KrisH ammond AlternattioOv SeIs... . ................................................................................ 89 JocC.kS t M.a rtin A Salutory Taloef S oftwaDreev elopme..n....t... ................ ..................9.4. Anonymous YouG etW hatY ouP ayF or?. ......................9 ..7. ........................................... StepheMna nes YouC an'Fto ol'Deowmn OnTh e Farm.!.... ......................................... 101 Anonymous BOFH (Part3 ).... .........................................................................1.0. .2. .......... SimoTnr avaglia ADA:T heD evil'sW ork.. ........................................................................ 104 HermaHni ggins NetmailS preaCdomsm onC old... ........................................................0 15 Cragi MilRoo gers IKn ow What'sW rong WithM y Compute.r....!... ..............................1.06. Anonymous What isT echnicaHla rassmen..t..?.... ..................................................... 107 RicFka dler Copyrighted Material . l� Contents I'Jmu sAt T wo-bPirto gramOmne Ar SixteMeanc-hbii..n..t..e. ... .... 108 DaviSd.P latt IfA rchitHeacdtt oWs o rLki kPer ogram.m....e...r....s.. ....................... 109 J.DavRiudg giero VAXa ndI BM . . . ... .. ... 111 ........................... ......................... .................... ... ...... Anonymous TheA ustraFliifaDtneh g enerPartoijoenc t .. .. . 116 ................ ...... . .............. LeeN aish AnA ncieRnotp e-And-CPoumlpluetyIe sUr n eartIhne d TheJ ungolfAe p raph.u.l....... .............1.1.7. ............................................ A.K .D ewdney TheV AXorci..s.t. . . .125 ...... ................................................. ............................. ChristoRpuhsesre ll SmaAldl s 133 .................................................................................................. LindsMaayr shall LaB oiBtlee .ue . .... . . ...134 ............................ . .......... .... .................................... . WilliAa mR ennie TheD ifferBeentwceee n HaradnwdSa orfet ware ..135 ............................ . Anonymous UserF riendlYyo?uM usbte J oki..n...g.... .............................................1 36 DanG reenberg A Dayi nt hLei foefa N etwoMrakn ag..e....r... ....................................1 37 LarrRy. C ustead TheC ompleoxfiS toyn gs. .. ... . ....1.39 ...... .............. . ................................. ...... DonalEd.K nuth Writin eC ..................................................................................................1 46 Anonymous A SimpliGfuiiedTdeo H ardwaMraei nten.a.n.c.e. .....1.4.7. .................... DaviHd. A hl A LinguiCsotnitcr ibtuoGt oitoon- LPersosg ramm.in.g .. .150 . . ......... ..... R.L awrenCclea rk BOFH (Pa4r).t.. . .......................................................................................1 54 SimoTnr avaglia TheH ow-To-Choose-A-CoBmopoukt er.-B..oo.k .157 ............ .... . ..... ..... ... RusseGlrif fin andV ictMoirl ler CopyrigMhatteedr ial Contents TheC aseo ft heB ogusE xper(Pta rt4 )... ...............................................1 61 KriHsa mmond A ParableA boutG eneralini tAryc hitec..t...u...r...e... .......................... 163 Anonymous Taking a StroDlolw nB abeSlt ree...t........ .............................................. 165 PeteJr.B rown PleasRee moveTh isL abe..l.. .................................................................. 168 EspenA ndersen Productiinv iCtoym puterS cien.c...e... .................................................1 70 DannyC ohen IsB igB eautifSuolm:eC omputer CartForoonsTm h e1 960.'...s... .... 173 GreMgi chaelson CreatoArdsmi t Unix And C WereA Hoax.. ........................................ 178 Anonymous TheU ziV ersutsh eC ompute...r.. .......................... ................................. 180 Anonymous TheC hurcho ft heC yber-Spirit..u....a..l...i...s....t..s.... ..........................1 81 AndreDwa vison PersonCaolm puting.. ......................... .................................................... 188 EvadLha BOFH (Par5t). .. ........................................................................................ 191 SimoTnr avaglia Outo fth eM outhosfB a bes. .......................1.9.3. ......................................... EveR .W irth ComputerDso n'Atr gue... ...................................................................... 195 GordoRn.D ickson Transcriptst hfeGr oemn realM otoHresl pLin.e... ............................. 2.10 MichEadewla Crhda stain RelaRteeadd i.n.g .. . . . 211 . ... ............... ....... ..................... .................................... CopyrigMhatteedr ial

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