How to Stop Feeling So Damn Depressed: The No Bs Guide for Men

162 Pages·2018·8.644 MB·English

by  Jonas A. Horwitz

“This wonderful book is a treasure trove filled with gems of
meaningful, important information and guidance. For those
who struggle with ‘the Beast’ of depression, Horwitz provides
valuable advice that is candid and practical. The ‘no-nonsense’
language cuts through the haze of jargon and technical talk,
offering an accessible road map to remission and recovery.”
—Robert N. Golden, MD, dean of the School
of Medicine and Public Health, and processor
in the department of psychiatry at the University
of Wisconsin-Madison
“Horwitz knows just how miserable men with severe depression
feel. A clinical psychologist, he tells specific things a man can
do to feel much better, without telling the lie that depression is
easy to fix. He explains what is going on in the brain that keeps
depression alive and how behavioral changes can reduce
depression. His tone is conversational; his message is direct. I
plan to buy a stack of this book and hand it to men I know who
need to read it. “
—Barbara J. Myers, PhD, associate professor emerita
and former director of the developmental psychology
division at Virginia Commonwealth University,
Richmond, VA
“Horwitz’s powerful, no-nonsense guide for men experiencing
severe depression is written with sincerity and compassion as
he navigates a subject too often ignored. Depression is a serious
illness and one of the top risk factors for suicide. Horwitz’s
passion for this subject can be seen on each page as he provides
practical, solution-based options for those struggling with the
‘Beast.’ It is, without a doubt, a book to share with your col-
leagues, clients, and loved ones.”
—Julie McIntyre, LCSW, MSW, retired clinical
social worker for the department of psychiatry
and emergency medicine at The University of
North Carolina at Chapel Hill
“This brilliantly designed book could only have been written
by a psychotherapist who has spent thousands of hours talking
with men about depression. Horwitz has achieved remarkable
things here. He has distilled the relevant research, and pre-
sented it in a straightforward, short, but comprehensive form.
The ideas are sound and easy to understand while never being
oversimplified. This book provides a source of hope without
ever underestimating the size of the challenge of overcoming
depression. I think anyone who works with men in any capacity
will want a stack of these to present at the right moments.”
—David K. Donlon, LCSW, psychotherapist in
Chapel Hill, NC, for thirty-five years; president of
the American Academy of Psychotherapists
“Depression—we know it’s there, but we can’t see it. Jonas
Horwitz gives us a brilliant way to ‘see’ and deal with our
depression. Revealing how we unwittingly feed a beast that
weighs us down, Horwitz provides a way into—and through—
the shadows of depression. Look through the windows of this
book, as I have, let go of helplessness, and get on with mean-
ingful living.”
—Rev. Steven A. Ingram, DMin, LPCC,
pastoral counselor
“This book, How to Stop Feeling So Damn Depressed, by Jonas
A. Horwitz, is just that: a commonsense, direct, honest, easy-
to-read guide for men suffering from severe, debilitating,
chronic depression. From the opening paragraph Horwitz com-
municates directly to the men he is writing for in a way that
makes it clear he is all about teaching men specific strategies
they can use to gain control over their depression, which he
calls ‘the Beast.’ His guide is creative, personal, educational,
practical, and guided by research and years of experience as a
therapist.”
—Wendy Kliewer, PhD, professor and former chair
in the department of psychology at Virginia
Commonwealth University

Stop
How to
Feeling
n
m
a
D
S o
Depressed
The No BS Guide for Men
JONAS A. HORWITZ, P D
h
New Harbinger Publications, Inc.
Publisher’s Note
This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information
in regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the
publisher is not engaged in rendering psychological, financial, legal, or other
professional services. If expert assistance or counseling is needed, the services of
a competent professional should be sought.
Distributed in Canada by Raincoast Books
Copyright © 2018 by Jonas A. Horwitz
New Harbinger Publications, Inc.
5674 Shattuck Avenue
Oakland, CA 94609
www.newharbinger.com
Cover design by Amy Shoup
Acquired by Jess O’Brien
Edited by James Lainsbury
All Rights Reserved
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Names: Horwitz, Jonas A., author.
Title: How to stop feeling so damn depressed : the no bs guide for men / Jonas A.
Horwitz.
Description: Oakland, CA : New Harbinger Publications, 2018. | Includes
bibliographical references.
Identifiers: LCCN 2018031432 (print) | LCCN 2018033125 (ebook) | ISBN
9781684032129 (PDF e-book) | ISBN 9781684032136 (ePub) | ISBN
9781684032112 (paperback)
Subjects: LCSH: Men--Psychology. | Depression in men. | Cognitive therapy. |
BISAC: SELF-HELP / Depression. | SOCIAL SCIENCE / Men’s Studies. |
PSYCHOLOGY / Psychopathology / Depression.
Classification: LCC BF692.5 (ebook) | LCC BF692.5 .H667 2018 (print) | DDC
155.3/32--dc23
LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2018031432
Contents
Introduction 1
Chapter 1 What Is Severe Depression? 7
Chapter 2 What Starves the Beast? 51
Chapter 3 Interpersonal Relationships 93
Chapter 4 Depression and Psychotherapy 123
Conclusion Do Something to Starve the Beast
Every Day 133
Acknowledgments 137
Resources 139
References 141

Introduction
What you are holding in your hand is an intensely personal
guide. I wrote it specifically for men such as yourself, who feel
horrible and want to know if there is anything they can do to
feel better. While there are approximately 10 million American
men who are at this moment severely depressed (NIMH 2017),
this guide is not written for them. It is written for you.
If you are looking for a textbook that summarizes treat-
ments for all the different types of depression, then you have
the wrong book in your hands. This is not a comprehensive
work of that type, nor does it provide a simple ten-step program
that will magically take away all of your problems. This is also
not a book for men who are simply feeling down because they
had a lousy day, or because their team lost last night. It is not
for men who are “out of sorts,” or who are “just feeling kind of
moody lately.” It is specifically for men who experience severe
depression.
You and I will probably never meet, yet I wrote this book as
though you are sitting right in front of me in my office—as
though I am talking directly to you. I feel it is very important
to speak about severe depression in a clear, straightforward
manner, and I will not cover anything that I think is BS. For
example, I am not going to pretend that there is one easy trick
you have to learn that will make your depression disappear