How to Make yourself Miserable

130 Pages·1966·7.013 MB·130\130

by  Dan Greenburg

$2.95
HOW
TO
MAKE
YOURSELF
MISERABLEr
manual
Avital training
by Dan Grcenburg with Marcia Jacobs
"The ultimate in self-demoralizing manuals...full of hilarity.-McCa/Zs

HOWTO
MAKE
VDURSOf
MISERABLE

HOW
TO
MAKE
YOURSELF
MISERABLE
Dan Greenburg
Another vital trainingmanual by
(who wrote HOW TO BE A JEWISH MOTHER),
with MarciaJacobs (who neverwrote anything)
Illustrations conceived and drawn by Marv Rubin
Random House f^SMu^^, New York
© Copyright, 1966, by Dan Greenburg
All rights reserved under International and Pan-American
Copyright Conventions. Published in New York by Ran-
dom House, Inc., and simultaneously in Toronto, Canada,
by Random House of Canada Limited.
Library of Congress Catalog Card Number 66-23498
:
ISBN 0-394-73168-9
Manufactured in the United States of America
) )
What This Book Will Teach You
Introduction (Page 1)
SECTION METHODS TO MISERY ALONE (Page
I: 3)
Chapter 1: Basics of Self-Torture (Page 3)
A. Why You Need to Be Miserable (page 3)
B. How to Create a First-Class Anxiety page 5
(
1. How to Select a 3-Dimensional Worry ( page 5 >
2. The Power of Negative Thinking (page 7
)
3. How to Mellow Your Worry (page 12
4. Worries into Anxieties (page 12)
5. Exercise in Anxiety (page 14)
6. Quiz (PAGE 16)
) ) ) ) )
Chapter 2: Seven Classic Misery-Making Situations (Page 18)
A. Situation #1: Basic Worries About Noises in the Night
(PAGE 18)
B. Situation #2: Basic Worries About Giving and Receiving
Gifts PAGE 20
(
C. Situation #3: Basic Worries About Waiting (page 21
i
D. Situation #4: Basic Worries About Vacations (page 22)
E. Situation #5 Basic Worries About Dinner Parties page 25
: (
F. Situation #6' Basic Worries About Minor Infractions of the
Law (PAGE 27)
G. Situation #7: Basic Worries About Flying (page 27)
H. Quiz (page 32)
Chapter 3: Misery About the Past, the Present and the Future
(Page 33)
A. Optimum Brooding Conditions page 33
(
Sunday Afternoon page 33
1.
( )
2. New Year's Eve page 35
(
3. Seventeen Basic Pessimistic Philosophies page 38
(
) ) )
B. How to Make Yourself Miserable About the Past (page 39
C. How to Make Yourself Miserable About the Present page 40
(
1. How to Make Yourself Miserable If You're Not a Rich
Person (page 42)
2. How to Make Yourself Miserable If You ARE a Rich
Person (PAGE 42)
3. How to Make Yourself Miserable If You're Not a Famous
Person (page 45)
4. How to Make Yourself Miserable If You ARE a Famous
Person (page 45)
5. How to Make Yourself Miserable If You're Not a
Beautiful Person (page 47)
6. How to Make Yourself Miserable If You ARE a
Beautiful Person (page 47)
7. How to Make Yourself Miserable If You're Not a
Talented Person (PAGE 48)
8. How to Make Yourself Miserable If You ARE a
Talented Person (page 48)
D. How to Make Yourself Miserable About the Future page 50
(
E. Exercise: Seventeen Masochistic Activities for the Beginner
(page 52)
F. Completion Test (PAGE 54)
) ) ) 1 ) )
SECTION METHODS TO MISERY WITH OTHERS
II:
(Page 55)
Chapter 4: How to Lose Friends and Alienate People (Page 55)
A. How to Formulate a Reject-Me Image (page 56)
The Reject-Me Posture (page 57
1.
i
2. The Reject-Me Tone of Voice (page 57
B. The Dynamics of Rejection page 58
(
1. Selecting a Promising Potential Rejector (page 59
2. The Apology as an Aid to Rejection page 60
(
3. The Reject-Me Formula and How to Use It ( page 64 )
4. How to Handle the Reluctant Rejector (page 68
»
5. Test Problem (page 69
i
Chapter 5: How to Lose Your Job (Page 71)
A. Basic Underpaid Attitude (page 72
i
B. Balancing the Scales page 73
( i
C. Quiz (PAGE 75)
Chapter 6: How to Avoid Deep Romantic Relationships
(Page 76)
A. Misery at Parties page 76
(
1. Basic Strateg>^ page 76
i
The No Small-Talk Maneuver (page 79)
2.