How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You

193 Pages·2001·0.85 MB·English

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How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You
Leil Lowndes
CONTEMPORARY BOOKS
A TRIBUNE COMPANY
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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Lowndes, Leil.
How to make anyone fall in love with you / Leil Lowndes.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references and index.
ISBN 0-8092-3211-1
1. Love. 2. Man-woman relationships. 3. Intimacy
(Psychology) 4. Sexual excitement. I. Title.
HQ801.L69 1996
306.7—dc20 96-14502
CIP
Jacket design by Scott Rattray
Interior design by Mary Lockwood
Excerpt from Obsession:
Copyright © 1995 by Debra McCarthy-Anderson and Carol Bruce-Thomas. All rights reserved.
Reproduced with the permission of the publisher, Harlequin Books S.A.
Copyright © 1996 by Leil Lowndes
All rights reserved
Published by Contemporary Books
An imprint of NTC/Contemporary Publishing Company
Two Prudential Plaza, Chicago, Illinois 60601-6790
Manufactured in the United States of America
International Standard Book Number: 0-8092-3211-1
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
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To fulfill the promise of the title, How to
Make Anyone Fall in Love with You offers
85 techniques based on scientific studies into
the nature of romantic love.
Page vii
CONTENTS
1 1
Anyone? Yes, Practically Anyone
Science "Discovers" Sex 2
How More Research Was Compiled 4
How the Techniques Were Developed 5
How I Tested the Techniques 7
2 9
What Makes People Fall in Love? The Six Elements
What Makes People Fall in Love? The Six Elements
I. First Impressions 9
II. Similar Character, Complementary Needs 10
III. Equity 11
IV. Ego 12
V. Early-Date Gender-Menders 13
VI. Rx for Sex 14
3 17
The Physical Side of Falling in Love
"Why Do My Insides Go All Funny?" 17
"Does Somebody Have to Be Pea-Brained to Fall in Love with Me?" 17
"Why Do We Fall in Love with One Person and Not Another?" 18
"How Can These Little Things Start Love?" 19
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4 23
Where Are All the Good Men and Women?
Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places 23
5 25
Does Love at First Sight Exist?
Part One: First Impressions You Never Get a Second
Chance at Love at First Sight
6 29
How to Make a Dynamite First Impression
First Impressions Last Forever 29
First Impressions Last Forever 29
Be Ready for Love—Always! 30
Stay Psychologically "Fit to Kill" 32
7 35
How to Ignite Love at First Sight
How Much Eye Contact Does It Take to Imitate Love? 37
How to Get Sexy "Bedroom Eyes" 39
How to Awaken Primal, Unsettling, Sexy Feelings in Your Quarry 41
Naughty Eyes Are So Nice 42
8 45
Your First Approach
The Gentle Art of Pickup (Not for Men Only) 45
Hunters, Make the First Move . . . Fast 46
Huntresses, Make the Fast Move . . . First 49
First Moves That Work for Women 50
9 53
Your First Body Language
Let Your Body Do the Talking 53
When You Are Quarry 56
The Word That Can Save Your Relationship 57
"But This Is So Basic!" 60
10 61
Your First Conversation
Conversation Is Making Beautiful Music Together 61
Conversation Is Like Making Love 62
Conversation Is Like Making Love 62
Conversation Is Like Selling 62
How to Know What Topics Turn Your Quarry On 65
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How to Fool Your Quarry into Thinking You Two Are Already in Love 68
Get Even Closer by Giving the Gift of Intimacy 70
Make Your Lifestyle "Fit" Your Quarry's Lovemap 71
11 75
Your First Date
The Game Begins in Earnest 75
"How Soon Should I Make My Move?" 76
"Playing Hard to Get—Should I, or Shouldn't I?" 77
The Scientifically Proved Best First Date 79
Give Your Quarry First-Date Butterflies 80
Plant the Seeds of Similarity 82
First-Date Restaurant Smarts 82
Hunters, Some Spit and Polish for Your P's and Q's 84
Huntresses, Forgive His Foibles 85
First-Date Duds 87
"I Haven't Got a Thing to Wear" 87
Part Two: Similar Character, Complementary Needs I
Want a Lover Just Like Dear Old Me (Well, Almost)!
Want a Lover Just Like Dear Old Me (Well, Almost)!
12 93
"It's You and Me, Baby, Alone Against This Mad, Mad
World"
Similarity . . . and a Touch of Difference (Just a Touch) 94
13 97
How to Establish Subconscious Similarity
How to Instantly Make Your Quarry Feel, "Why, We're Just Alike!" 97
Words to Give Your Quarry "That Family Feeling" 98
"We Even Speak the Same (Body) Language" 101
14 105
How to Establish Conscious Similarity
The Three Crucial Conscious Similarities 105
Let's Talk About Our Relationship—Not! 113
15 117
How to Establish Complementary Needs
"I Got Just What You Need, Baby" 117
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Part Three: Ego How Do You Love Me? Let Me Count
the Ways
16 123
The World Revolves Around You, My Quarry
Ego Massage Is a Highly Skilled Craft 124
17 127
Step One: Silent Praise
Step One: Silent Praise
Let Your Body Do the Praising 127
18 129
Step Two: Empathy
"I Can Identify with That!" 129
Lovers Share Intimate Details 131
Lovers Have Private Jokes 133
19 137
Step Three: Admiration
"Oh Honey, You Did an Absolutely Superb Job Slicing These 137
Mushrooms"
20 141
Step Four: The Implied Compliment
"You're Much Too Young to Remember This, But . . ." 141
The Bull's-Eye Booster: "I Just Love What You Like About Yourself" 142
21 145
Step Five: The Big Guns
"You Are the Most Fascinating Person I've Ever Met" 145
"What Does Giving a Killer Compliment Do for Me?" 146
22 149
Fine-Tuning the Ego Machine
"Wait a Minute. Does Everybody Like Compliments?" 149
Knee-Jerk Praise: "What You Just Did Was Fabulous" 150
Have the First Laugh 151
Lovers Give Each Other Pet Names 152
When Your Quarry Praises You 153
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23 155
Keeping the Love Coals Warm
"I Love the Way You Wrinkle Your Nose When You Laugh" 155
Part Four: Equity The WIIFM Principle of Love (What's
in It for Me?)
24 161
Everybody's Got a Market Value, Baby
Why Is Finding Love Like Horse Trading? 162
What Currency "Buys" a Good Partner? 163
25 167
How Can I Use the Equity Principle to Find Love?
You Really Don't Want to Marry the Handsome Prince or the Beautiful 167
Princess
"Why Don't I Want to Marry Up? 168
"What Happens if Inequity Strikes After We're Married?" 170
26 173
How Important Are Looks?
What Type of Looks Do Women Like? 174
What Type of Looks Do Men Like? 175
"How Can I Make My Quarry Think I'm Better Looking?" 176
How to Beef Up Your Odds on Making the Kill 179
27 181
Pursuing Rich and Famous Prey
Pursuing Rich and Famous Prey
The Look of Money 181
The Sound of Class 182
What Does the U Crowd Talk About? 184
Use Status Words with Status Prey 185
28
Upping Your Ante in Other Assets
Knowledge, Social Graces, and Inner Beauty Are Tangible Assets 187
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29 189
Help Them Convince Themselves That They Love You
Let Your Quarry Do Favors for You 189
Hey! What About "O Lyric Love, Half Angel and Half Bird"? 191
Part Five: Early-Date Gender-Menders Is There Love
After Eden?
30 195
"I Hope He or She's Not a Jerk Like All the Others"
"I Want a Man I Can Talk to, a Woman Who Thinks Like a Man" 196
31 199
What Is "Man Talk" and What Is "Woman Talk"? (Does It
Exist?)
32 203
"How Do You Feel About That?"
33 207
"Excuse Me, Could You Tell Me Where . . ."
"Excuse Me, Could You Tell Me Where . . ."
34 209
"Please, Spare Me the Details"
35 213
"Tell Me (Don't Tell Me) About It"
36 217
"What's the Best Way to Get from Point A to Point B?"
"A Straight Line!" He Declares; "A Gentle Curve?" She Asks 217
37 221
"Could You Give Me a Hand with This?"
38 225
Little Words to Win Your Quarry's Heart
39 227
Are There Dangerous Waters Ahead in the Gender Gap?
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Part Six: Rx For Sex How to Turn On the Sexual
Electricity
40 231
Your Quarry's Hottest Erogenous Zone
41 233
No Two Sexualities Are Alike, as No Two Snowflakes Are
Alike
How Do Men's and Women's Sexual Desires Differ? 235
Why Are Men's and Women's Fantasies So Different? 235
Yet More Differences 236
How to Use Differences to Make Your Quarry Fall in Love with You 237