How to Lose Friends and Alienate People movie tie-in : A Memoir

377 Pages·2008·0.88 MB·English

by  Toby Young

how to
Lose Friends
and
Alienate People
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how to
Lose Friends
and
A l i e n at e P e o p l e
t o b y y o u n g
da capo press
a member of the perseus books group
Copyright © 2001 by Toby Young
Postscript copyright © 2008 by Toby Young
All rights reserved.No part ofthis publication may be reproduced,
stored in a retrieval system,or transmitted,in any form or by any means,electronic,
mechanical,photocopying,recording,or otherwise,without the prior written
permission ofthe publisher.Printed in the United States ofAmerica.
“Letter to Lord Byron,”copyright 1937 by W.H.Auden,from
W.H.Auden: The Collected Poemsby W.H.Auden.
Used by permission ofRandom House,Inc.
Designed by Brent Wilcox
Set in Minion by The Perseus Books Group
Cataloging-in-Publication data for this book
is available from the Library ofCongress.
First Da Capo Press edition 2002
First Da Capo Press paperback edition 2003
First published in the United Kingdom by Little,Brown and Company (UK).
This edition published by arrangement with the author.
ISBN 978-0-306-81613-0
Published by Da Capo Press
A Member ofthe Perseus Books Group
www.dacapopress.com
Da Capo Press books are available at special discounts for bulk
purchases in the U.S.by corporations,institutions,and other organizations.
For more information,please contact the Special Markets Department at the
Perseus Books Group,2300 Chestnut Street,Philadelphia,PA 19103,or call
[phone],ext.5000,or e-mail [email protected].
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
To
caroline
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Contents
Prologue xi
1 “Millions are to be grabbed out here and
your only competition is idiots.” 1
2 LHR–JFK 12
3 The call of the mild 16
4 The first room 28
5 The Beast 39
6 In the court of the Sun King 44
7 The trial 53
8 Vanities 63
9 Early alarm call 69
10 The total Betty 72
11 Liberté,Egalité,Publicité 85
12 On the list 97
13 Nightworld 103
vii
(cid:2)
viii Contents
14 Uptown Girls 110
15 The 600-pound gorilla 121
16 The Briterati 134
17 Not Nearly Gay Enough 142
18 Celebrity wrangling 153
19 “Stay the fuck away from the celebrities!” 159
20 “Let’s discuss.” 173
21 Cool Britannia 179
22 A coke stroke 189
23 What they don’t teach you at the
Elephant & Castle Journalism School 196
24 Midget Jones’s Diary 207
25 “I’m sorry,sir,that card’s been declined.” 220
26 Alex through the looking glass 228
27 Forgotten but not gone 232
28 Caroline 246
29 The trouble with Harry 253
30 The St.Valentine’s Day massacre 265
31 Men behaving baldly 272
32 Alex in wonderland 278
(cid:2)
Contents ix
33 The green-eyed monster 281
34 Touching bottom 289
35 PMT (Pre-millennial tension) 298
36 Val d’Isère 305
37 Goodbye to all that 311
38 Return to sender 317
Epilogue 327
Postscript 331
Acknowledgments 339
Index 341