How to Cheat at Everything: A Con Man Reveals the Secrets of the Esoteric Trade of Cheating, Scams, and Hustles

458 Pages·2007·28.72 MB·English

by  Simon Lovell

i

Billion
Dollar
Bunko

Simon Lovell

WORKS BY SIMON LOVELL

Simon Says
Son of Simon Says
Close-up Magic to Tap Dance To
The Tap Dance Teeters On
I’m Still Tapping
Magic of Showbiz
Magic of Showbiz (Updated for the 90’s)
Second to None
The Floating Key Card
Specialist Moves
Have Lecture Notes, Will Travel

L & L Publishing
P.O. Box 100
Tahoma, CA 96142

PHOTOGRAPHS
�
Tom Gilbert, Carl Mercurio,
Simon Lovell, Steve Lerner, Todd Robbins

SEQUENTIAL ART
�
Alan Wassilak

DESIGN, COMPOSITION & STEWARD
�
Andrew J. Pinard

Billion
Dollar
Bunko

Simon Lovell

FIRST EDITION

Copyright © 2003 L & L Publishing.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored
in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic,
mechanical, photocopying, recording or any information storage and re-
trieval system now known or to be invented, without the permission of the
publishers.

Printed and bound in the United States of America.

Design and Composition by Andrew J. Pinard.

DEDICATED TO . . .
My mum and dad for love,
help and support over the years.
You guys are the best!
�
and to Lisa, my perfect princess!

vi
Billion Dollar Bunko

P
LEASE DO BEAR IN MIND THAT EVERYTHING DESCRIBED WITHIN THESE PAGES IS AT
very best unethical. At worst, many of the scams are criminal offences that,
should you be dumb enough to try them for anything other than demon-
stration purposes, could get you a pretty hefty fine and, perhaps, some seri-
ous jail time.
Neither the publisher or author can be held accountable for any actions
taken upon a reader who, deciding to ignore this warning, goes ahead any-
way and tries to be a master swindler. They will, however, be happy to pity
them for their idiocy.
This book is for information purposes only. It is my hope that, once armed
with knowledge, you will be less likely to be cheated in life by the conmen,
hustlers and swindlers who are worth being paranoid about. They really are
all out to get you!

Warning

vii

Contents

Acknowledgments .......................................................................................................xxi
Foreword by Wesley James....................................................................... xxiii
Read This, Bugger! by Todd Robbins ........................................................ xxv
Introduction ............................................................................................................. xxvii
A Quick Note............................................................................................................. xxix
Freddy The Fox ........................................................................................................ xxxi

Bar Bets

PROP BETS .................................................................................................... 3

11. Match Tossing.................................................................................................5
12. Giddy Heights ................................................................................................6
13. The Swallow ....................................................................................................7
14. Matchbox Teaser............................................................................................7
15. Dominoes Dosh ..............................................................................................8
16. Coin in the Glass............................................................................................8
17. Burnt Fingers .................................................................................................9
18. Six Glass Scam ...............................................................................................9
19. Egg Balancing ............................................................................................. 10
10. The Lit Cig Prop.......................................................................................... 10
11. The Triple Turn .......................................................................................... 10
CHANCES AND ODDS .................................................................................. 11
ODD ODDS ................................................................................................. 12

11. The Seven Card Hustle .............................................................................. 13
12. The Nine Card Hustle ............................................................................... 13
13. Elusive Queens ............................................................................................ 14
14. Birthday Boys and Girls .......................................................................... 14

Contents

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Billion Dollar Bunko

5. Tossing Coins ................................................................................................. 15
6. Aces Wild ........................................................................................................ 15
7. Money Madness............................................................................................. 16
8. Three Lucky Piles .......................................................................................... 16
Right Odds ........................................................................................... 17
1. Three Little Buttons ..................................................................................... 20
2. Three Little Buttons Again......................................................................... 20
3. Under and Over Seven ................................................................................. 20
1. Three Little Buttons ..................................................................................... 21
2. Three Little Buttons Again......................................................................... 21
3. Under and Over Seven ................................................................................. 21
The Big Freeze Out .............................................................................. 22
Nap Bets ............................................................................................... 22
1. Basic Principles ............................................................................................. 26
2. The Winning Leads...................................................................................... 26
3. Winning Returns .......................................................................................... 28
4. Harder Returns ............................................................................................. 28

Some Bigger Hustles

THE DRUNKEN PAW ............................................................................... 37
HOW THE PAW WORKS ............................................................................... 39
THE DOUBLE PAW....................................................................................... 39
BEATING THE PAW ...................................................................................... 40
THE TEAR UP............................................................................................. 41
HOW THE TEAR UP WORKS ....................................................................... 42
ADD-ON ..................................................................................................... 42
PERCENTAGE CALL....................................................................................... 43

THE CROSSED DECK ............................................................................... 44
THE HOOK ................................................................................................. 44
THE LINE ................................................................................................... 45
THE GAME ................................................................................................. 46
THE SINKER AND COOL OUT ...................................................................... 47
HOW THE CROSSED DECK WORKS ............................................................... 47
VARIATIONS ON THE CROSSED DECK........................................................... 48
AVOIDING THE CROSS ................................................................................. 49
THE NATURAL HABITAT OF THE CROSSED DECK ......................................... 49

THE TAT..................................................................................................... 50
HOW THE TAT WORKS ............................................................................... 51
THE OBVIOUS QUESTION ............................................................................. 52

ix

THE WATCH FOB OFF............................................................................. 53
THE SCENARIO—ACT ONE ......................................................................... 53
THE SCENARIO—ACT TWO ......................................................................... 53
THE SCENARIO—ACT THREE ...................................................................... 54
THE SCAM .................................................................................................. 54
VARIATIONS ................................................................................................ 55

THE LUCKY PENNY ................................................................................. 57
THE SCAM .................................................................................................. 59
SAM’S MAGIC TRICK VARIATION.................................................................. 59
HOW? ......................................................................................................... 60
THE LATE TURN ......................................................................................... 61
HOW? ......................................................................................................... 61

SPOOF.......................................................................................................... 63
A POPULAR MISCONCEPTION ....................................................................... 63
PLAYING STRATEGY ..................................................................................... 64
SPOOF WITH THREE PLAYERS ...................................................................... 65
MULTI-PLAYER SPOOF.................................................................................. 67
A Sample Game.................................................................................... 68
CHEATING AT SPOOF................................................................................... 68
FREDDY’S LAST CALL ON SPOOF.................................................................. 69

THE MONTE MAN ................................................................................... 70
THE GAME ................................................................................................. 70
The Team ............................................................................................. 72
1. The Wall man ................................................................................................ 73
2. The Dip............................................................................................................ 73
3. The Hook ......................................................................................................... 73
4. The Shills ........................................................................................................ 73
5. The Heavy....................................................................................................... 74
The Basic Sleight-Of-Hand.................................................................. 74
Opening Gambit................................................................................... 75
The Double Bet Ploy And Other Sneaky Malarkey .......................... 75
BACK TO THE GAME .................................................................................. 76
More Sneaky Ploys .............................................................................. 77
A TIDY SUM OF MONEY ............................................................................. 78
A SUMMARY OF MONTE ............................................................................. 79
A QUICK BIT OF HISTORY FOR THE BUFFS! ................................................ 79

THREE SHELLS ......................................................................................... 82
THE GAME ................................................................................................. 83
The Work ............................................................................................. 83
The Team And Variations................................................................... 84

Contents

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Billion Dollar Bunko

GEE GEES AND WOOF WOOFS ............................................................. 86
CHARACTERS AT THE TRACK ...................................................................... 86
SPREADING THE MONEY ............................................................................. 87
NIFTY TOYS ................................................................................................ 88
HOOVERS .................................................................................................... 88
THE TIC-TAC MAN..................................................................................... 89
FREDDY AND THE MINX MAKE MONEY ...................................................... 89
PUTTING THE FIX IN................................................................................... 91
SUMMING UP .............................................................................................. 93
HOOF NOTE................................................................................................ 95

Unfairgrounds And Crooked Carnivals

HANKY PANKS ......................................................................................... 99
FOUR BIG CARDS ........................................................................................ 99
DARTBOARD CHAMPS ................................................................................ 100
THE HORSE RACE ..................................................................................... 101
CHICKIN’ LICKIN’ ....................................................................................... 101

ARCADES FROM HELL .......................................................................... 103
FRUIT MACHINES ...................................................................................... 103
ARCADE MACHINES ................................................................................... 105
PENNY FALLS ............................................................................................ 105
GRABBERS................................................................................................. 107
PENNY PITCHES......................................................................................... 107

DOWN AND DIRTY ................................................................................ 108
SHYS......................................................................................................... 108
Six Little Bottles................................................................................. 108
Three Little Bottles ............................................................................ 109
The Cat Rack...................................................................................... 110
THE STRING GAME ................................................................................... 110
The Raffle Variation .......................................................................... 111
GUNS AND OTHER WEAPONS OF WAR ..................................................... 111
BUCKETS AND BALLS ................................................................................ 112
The Upright Bucket Store ................................................................. 113
Flukey Ball.......................................................................................... 113
HOOP LA LARCENY ................................................................................... 114
The Rules ........................................................................................... 115
HOOP LA GAFFS ....................................................................................... 115
The Velvet Touch............................................................................... 115
A Cute Angle...................................................................................... 115

xi

SWINGING TIMES ....................................................................................... 116
Other Ways to Fix the Swing ............................................................ 117
POOL HUSTLES .......................................................................................... 117
Crazy Golf or Tee-Ball ....................................................................... 118
SPOT THE SPOT ........................................................................................ 118
HAMMER HEAD ........................................................................................ 119
CLOTHES PEGS AND PING PONG BALLS ...................................................... 120
BASKETBALL.............................................................................................. 121
A LITTLE BIT OF HISTORY—WHEELS OF FORTUNE ................................... 121
Gaffed Wheels .................................................................................... 122
THE STALLS IN GENERAL .......................................................................... 122

SHORTING THE CHANGE ....................................................................124
THE PALM ................................................................................................124
DOUBLE PRICE TICKETS .............................................................................125
THE LEAVE ............................................................................................... 125
Take it or Leave it ..............................................................................125
CHAT CHANGE .......................................................................................... 126
CASH RIDES .............................................................................................. 126
FREDDY’S QUICK TIPS ...............................................................................128

THE FLAT COUNT OR DOUBLE UP ...................................................129

THE RAZZLE DAZZLE........................................................................... 131
THE SIX BALL ROLL DOWN ....................................................................... 131
The Odds ............................................................................................ 132
The Miscount ..................................................................................... 132
Variations on the Six Ball Roll Down ............................................... 133
BIG MONEY RAZZLE.................................................................................. 133
WHY CAN’T ALBERT WIN? ....................................................................... 136

THE BLOW OFF .......................................................................................140

FREDDY’S FAVORITE TENT! ............................................................... 142

FREDDY’S TOP TIPS FOR THE FAIRGROUND ................................144

More Street Cons and Others

JAM AUCTIONS ......................................................................................149
THE SCAM ................................................................................................ 151
VARIATIONS AND THE ADD ON ................................................................ 151

Contents

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Billion Dollar Bunko

BLATANT BUT EFFECTIVE! ......................................................................... 152
BUYING A BRICK .......................................................................................152

THE PUNCHBOARD CON .....................................................................154

CHAIN LETTERS THAT PAY! .............................................................. 156
THE PROBLEM ........................................................................................... 156
FREDDY’S ANALYSIS................................................................................... 157
FREDDY’S SOLUTIONS................................................................................. 157
Freddy’s Scam Part One ....................................................................157
Freddy’s Scam Part Two ...................................................................157
The Scam in Total..............................................................................158
CHAIN LETTERS TODAY .............................................................................158

SPARKS GIVES THE SKINNY ON TECHNO FRAUD .......................164
WORK AT HOME SCHEMES......................................................................... 165
CABLE DE-SCRAMBLER KITS ...................................................................... 166
MAKING MONEY BY SENDING OUT BULK E-MAILS ..................................... 166
GUARANTEED LOANS, ETC. ........................................................................ 167
FREE VACATIONS .......................................................................................168
EASY MONEY ............................................................................................ 168
CREDIT REPAIR SCAMS .............................................................................. 170
GREAT BUSINESS OPPORTUNITIES ............................................................... 171
FREE PRODUCTS AND PROMOTIONS ............................................................172
HEALTH AND DIET SCAMS ......................................................................... 172
A FINAL SNEAKY WEB SCAM.....................................................................175
AN UPDATE – JUNE 2001 ......................................................................... 175

THE COST OF LOVE ON THE WEB..................................................... 177
THE PRICE OF SEX ON THE STREET ......................................................... 180

THE CHARITY RAFFLE ........................................................................ 181
THE SCAM ................................................................................................182

FREE MEALS IN FREDDY’S YOUTH ..................................................183
TACKY METHODS ......................................................................................183
TWIN CHECKS ........................................................................................... 184
IS THERE A DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE? ........................................................ 184

PSYCHIC FREDDY................................................................................... 186

THE MILLION DOLLAR BEGGAR ....................................................... 191
THE SCAM ................................................................................................ 191

HOT TIPS ON COLD CONS ...................................................................194

xiii

Cheating At Cards

TYPES OF CARD CHEAT....................................................................... 199
THE AMATEUR CHEAT ..............................................................................199
THE SEMI PROFESSIONAL CHEAT OR HUSTLER ............................................ 199
THE PROFESSIONAL CHEAT ........................................................................ 200

MARKED CARDS .................................................................................... 201
MARKING METHODS ................................................................................. 202
Shades .................................................................................................202
Blockouts ............................................................................................ 202
Line Work........................................................................................... 202
Cutouts ............................................................................................... 202
Border Work .......................................................................................202
Sunning the Deck ..............................................................................203
Steaming the Deck .............................................................................203
Sorts .................................................................................................... 203
High Line Work and Punching ......................................................... 203
Honest Marked Cards........................................................................ 204
Luminous Readers .............................................................................204
Commercial Marked Decks ............................................................... 204
Pictures ............................................................................................... 205
Edge Marks ........................................................................................208
Juice Work .......................................................................................... 208
Seals .................................................................................................... 208
SPOTTING MARKED CARDS ........................................................................ 209
MISCONCEPTIONS ABOUT MARKED CARDS ................................................. 210
MARKING CARDS DURING PLAY................................................................. 210
Nailing ................................................................................................ 210
Waving ................................................................................................ 211
Daubing .............................................................................................. 211
Sanding ............................................................................................... 211
Pegging................................................................................................ 212
SPOTTING MARKED CARDS IN A GAME ..................................................... 212
WHAT TO DO IF YOU FIND MARKS .......................................................... 212
A FINAL AMUSING TALE OF MARKED CARDS............................................ 213

TWINKLES ............................................................................................... 215
MASKING THE GLARE ................................................................................ 215
The Chip............................................................................................. 215
The Cigar ............................................................................................ 216
The Pipe ............................................................................................. 216
Ordinary Twinkles ............................................................................ 216
Professional Twinkles ....................................................................... 216

Contents