How to Be a People Magnet

284 Pages·2001·10.471 MB·English

by  Lowndes, Leslie

How to Be
People
a
Mag net
This page intentionally left blank.
How to Be
People
a
Mag net
Finding Friends—and
Lovers—and Keeping
Them for Life
LEIL LOWNDES
abc
Copyright © 2001 by Leil Lowndes. All rights reserved. Manufactured in the United States of
America. Except as permitted under the United States Copyright Act of 1976, no part of this publication
may be reproduced or distributed in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval
system, without the prior written permission of the publisher.
0-07-139473-7
The material in this eBook also appears in the print version of this title: 0-8092-2434-8.
All trademarks are trademarks of their respective owners. Rather than put a trademark symbol after
every occurrence of a trademarked name, we use names in an editorial fashion only, and to the benefit
of the trademark owner, with no intention of infringement of the trademark. Where such designations
appear in this book, they have been printed with initial caps.
McGraw-Hill eBooks are available at special quantity discounts to use as premiums and sales pro-
motions, or for use in corporate training programs. For more information, please contact George
Hoare, Special Sales, at [email protected] or [phone].
TERMSOFUSE
This is a copyrighted work and The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. (“McGraw-Hill”) and its licensors
reserve all rights in and to the work. Use of this work is subject to these terms. Except as permitted
under the Copyright Act of 1976 and the right to store and retrieve one copy of the work, you may not
decompile, disassemble, reverse engineer, reproduce, modify, create derivative works based upon,
transmit, distribute, disseminate, sell, publish or sublicense the work or any part of it without
McGraw-Hill’s prior consent. You may use the work for your own noncommercial and personal use;
any other use of the work is strictly prohibited. Your right to use the work may be terminated if you
fail to comply with these terms.
THE WORK IS PROVIDED “AS IS”. McGRAW-HILLAND ITS LICENSORS MAKE NO GUAR-
ANTEES OR WARRANTIES AS TO THE ACCURACY, ADEQUACYOR COMPLETENESS OF
OR RESULTS TO BE OBTAINED FROM USING THE WORK, INCLUDING ANYINFORMA-
TION THATCAN BE ACCESSED THROUGH THE WORK VIAHYPERLINK OR OTHERWISE,
AND EXPRESSLYDISCLAIM ANYWARRANTY, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT
NOTLIMITED TO IMPLIED WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITYOR FITNESS FOR A
PARTICULAR PURPOSE. McGraw-Hill and its licensors do not warrant or guarantee that the func-
tions contained in the work will meet your requirements or that its operation will be uninterrupted or
error free. Neither McGraw-Hill nor its licensors shall be liable to you or anyone else for any inac-
curacy, error or omission, regardless of cause, in the work or for any damages resulting therefrom.
McGraw-Hill has no responsibility for the content of any information accessed through the work.
Under no circumstances shall McGraw-Hill and/or its licensors be liable for any indirect, incidental,
special, punitive, consequential or similar damages that result from the use of or inability to use the
work, even if any of them has been advised of the possibility of such damages. This limitation of lia-
bility shall apply to any claim or cause whatsoever whether such claim or cause arises in contract, tort
or otherwise.
DOI: 10.1036/0071394737
Dedicated to my dearest friends Giorgio and Phil
who taught me the meaning of the words
love and friendship.
This page intentionally left blank.
A
Contents
On the Road to Being a People Magnet
Part One
01 Friends, Lovers, and Knights 3
Platonic Friendships 4
And, of Course, Love 4
Men’s Friendships 5
Women’s Friendships 6
Networking Friends 7
02 What’s Ahead in How to Be a People Magnet 10
How We’re Going to Find the Answer 10
The Fatal FUD Factor (Fear, Uncertainty, and Doubt) 12
03 Why this Book Is Guaranteed to Work! 13
This Is Not a Book—It’s a Contract 13
Sociological Studies Support the Contract 14
Listen to the Testimonials 15
Making Strangers Like You, Instantly!
Part Two
04 Hi! How Do You Like Me So Far? 19
But Is Being Popular Really Being Liked? 20
What’s Your Optimism Quotient (OQ)? 20
vii
McGraw-Hill's Terms of Use
viii Contents
05 How to Spread Sunshine . . . Wherever You Go 23
Clause #1: In Your Shoes
06 Making Everyone Feel Special 26
Clause #2: Eye Messages
07 Win Their Hearts, in Ten Words or Less 29
Clause #3: The Expanded Thank-You
08 The Magic Wand, Your Body 31
Clause #4: The Trifling Touch
09 Like Hallmark Cards, a Smile for Every Occasion 34
Clause #5: Slow, Spillover Smile
10 Why Do We Prefer One Person Over Another? 36
Deborah Gets the Last Laugh (and Leil Eats Her Hat) 38
Clause #6: Listen to Their Heart
11 Fine Tuning Your Tongue 41
Clause #7: Dis-Guys My Dialogue
Clause #8: De-Gurrl My Dialogue
12 Never Hear “You’re Not Listening!” Again 45
Clause #9: Listen Like a Nail
Clause #10: Listen Like a Dunking Duck
13 Fragging the Fatal FUD Factor 49
But What About Me? I’m No Olympic Athlete 50
How You Can Go for the Gold 52
Clause #11: Ditch the Bitchers, Talk to the Trashers
14 Beauty Is as Beauty Feels 55
Thunder Thighs Wins Olympic Gold Medal for Love 59
Clause #12: I Am Beautiful
Clause #13: I’m a Good Mover
Contents ix
15 How to Work a Room Like Royalty 62
Clause #14: The Emperor’s New Clothes
16 Nice Shake! 66
Clause #15: My Five-Star Handshake
17 The Hugganary 72
Clause #16: The Honest Hug
18 The Secret of Confident Conversing 76
What Separates Social Winners from Social Losers? 76
Clause #17: React Faster, Answer Vaster
19 Shyness Stinks! Not Only That,
It Can Trash Your Life 80
Wait, There Are More Bummers 81
So, If Schmooze-Aphobia Is a Disease,
What’s the Cure? 82
Clause #18: Always Talk to Strangers
20 Does This Confidence Make Cents? 85
Clause #19: What Can I Learn from This?
21 Ah, Mystery of Life:
And How Optimism Saved One! 88
22 Pass the Pollyanna Please 90
Clause #20: Give the Gift of “You Can Do”
Friends and Lovers:
Part Three How to Find Them, How to Keep Them
23 Why Have Friends?
Or Pollyanna Plummets into Pandora’s Box 95
Suddenly Last Summer 96
Pollyanna Plummets into Pandora’s Box 97
The Bottom of the Pit 98