How to Be a Gentleman: A Timely Guide to Timeless Manners

2008·1.72 MB·English

by  Thomas Nelson

How
TO BE A
GENTLEMAN
Other GentleManners® Books
A Gentleman Entertains
John Bridges and Bryan Curtis
As a Gentleman [Would Say
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A Gentleman Gets Dressed Up
John Bridges and Bryan Curtis
A Gentleman at the Table
John Bridges and Bryan Curtis
Toasts and Tributes
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A Gentleman Abroad
John Bridges and Bryan Curtis
How to Be a Lady
Candace Simpson-Giles
As a Lady Would Say
Sheryl Shade
A Lady at the Table
Sheryl Shade with John Bridges and Bryan Curtis
so Things a Young Gentleman Should Know
John Bridges and Bryan Curtis
How to Raise a Gentleman
Kay West
How to Raise a Lady
Kay West
How
TO BE A
GENTLEMAN
REVISED AND EXPANDED
A
TIMELY GUIDE
TO
TIMELESS
MANNERS
JOHN BRIDGE S
For CLAY ISAACS, who was born knowing all these things (1998 edition)
For BILL WALKER, who has listened for 25 years' worth of Sundays (2008 edition)
CONTENTS
INTRODUCTION ix
The Fundamental Things Apply
1 o Eternal Truths of the Gentlemanly Life xv
Chapter One
A Gentleman Experiences Real Life 1
Chapter Two
A Gentleman Gets Dressed 53
Chapter Three
A Gentleman Goes to Dinner 75
Chapter Four
A Gentleman Says the Right Thing 94
Chapter Five
A Gentleman Gives a Party 117
Chapter Six
A Gentleman Goes to a Party 135
Chapter Seven
A Gentleman and His Friends 153
Chapter Eight
A Gentleman Goes to the Office 179
Chapter Nine
A Gentleman Gets Equipped 200
Chapter Ten
Extreme Etiquette 212
INTRODUCTION
When the first edition of How to Be a Gentleman was published ten years ago, correct, considerate behavior was being challenged on every side.
The premise of that book was that men, as a rule, leave it up to the women in their lives (their mothers, their wives, their girlfriends, and women who
are simply their friends, with no blood relation and no romantic attachment) to tell them how to behave.
Since it seemed to answer all the burning good-behavior questions of the moment, How to Be a Gentleman proved to be hugely successful; in fact, it
has gone on to be translated into more than a dozen foreign languages, doing its part to bring civility to the world at large. Nevertheless, life has
changed a great deal over the past ten years, and gentlemen are now left on their own, almost at every turn. Cell phones are everywhere, barking out
at us in airports, in grocery stores, and in movie theatres. Unless a gentleman is an absolute Luddite, e-mail is a central part of his life. He must
remind himself, at all times, to check up on his text messages. Written correspondence seems even more antiquated than before. Dress codes
seem to fluctuate every time a new star wears his shirttail out or tucks his shirttail in while walking down a red carpet.
And yet certain truths remain unchanged, and the desire for gentlemanliness persists, as well. No matter how much the world may change, a
gentleman still needs to know how to behave, from day to day and from occasion to occasion. If he drops a fork, he still wants to know whether he
should pick it up or leave it lying on the floor.
Married or not, a gentleman will be expected to go to parties and to entertain. He has business associates to deal with and coworkers with whom he
must get along. He needs to know how to set a table. He needs to know how to introduce two of his best friends.
And he needs to know how to tie a bow tie, all by himself, at a moment's notice.
Ultimately, however, being a gentleman has little to do with tying a tie or fumbling with the flatware. Instead, it requires only a little logic, a bit of
forethought, and a great deal of consideration for others. It is not about complicated rules and convoluted instructions. It is about trying to make life
easier for other people. It is about honestly and sincerely being a nice guy.
For a nice guy, the noblest virtues are camaraderie, dependability, and unswerving loyalty. He realizes that it is an oversimplification to suggest that a
gentleman's future might be ruined if he were to eat his entree with a salad fork. That is why this book spells out what a man really needs to know if he
plans to make his way in this world. Simply acting like a gentleman is not enough. It is being a gentleman that is important, and that means thinking of
others, being there when you are needed, and knowing when you are not needed.
It truly is possible for a man to learn to be a gentleman if he has the direction he needs. For that reason, the women of the world have welcomed this
book for over a decade.
They will welcome this new edition now. And gentlemen, everywhere, will be glad to see it, too, safe in the knowledge that an ever newer world can
be an ever nicer world as well.
A gentleman does his best to be there when he is needed and to stay out of the way the rest of the time.
THE FUNDAMENTAL
THINGS APPLY