How People Tick: A Guide to Over 50 Types of Difficult People and How to Handle Them

225 Pages·2009·0.67 MB·English

by  Mike Leibling

HowPepTick_2nd_aw:How People Tick REPRINT 26/5/09 11:18 Page 1
2nd
“Packed with tips on how to tame the most irritating edition
people you are ever likely to meet.”
Octavius Black, Managing Director, The Mind Gym
“Leibling has a lot of experience of dealing with difficult colleagues…
and has tips on how to deal with them all.”
The Sunday Times
“Divides the workplace into personality types and gives the
appropriate advice for dealing with each one.”
The Guardian
“Hell is other people… But once you know what is
wrong with them, there is a way to cope.” HOW
The Times
“This is fantastic… stuffed with succinct advice.
A thoroughly useful book – highly recommended.”
European Business
This new edition of How People Tick is a practical guide to over 50 types of
difficult people such as Angry People, Blamers, Impatient People and
Workaholics. Each dificult situation is described, how it hapens is analysed, PEOPLE
and then strategies to help you deal with the problem are suggested.
Disruptive behaviour patterns can be addressed once and for all, instead of
having to handle one-off “difficult” events, time and time again. It will help
you to deal with even more difficult types than the first edition, such as:
• Disrespectful People; • Plodders;
• Gossips; • Princesses (and Princes);
• Must-Have-The-Last-Word People; • U-turners.
Absolutely invaluable to everybody, How People Tick is full of tried and
tested tips for handling “difficult” people in “difficult” situations, based on a
real understanding of their behaviour. It is an essential read if you find
people bewildering or just plain difficult, and yet still want to understand
them, work with them and live with them.
Mike Leibling is a mentor, coach and writer. Having worked at
Satchi & Satchi he founded Strategy Strategy ™ to help people TICK
and organizations to move on in difficult situations, or preferably
to avoid them in the first place.
Photo: Matt Sprake of www.newspics.co.uk £9.99 A guide to over 50 types of difficult
US $19.95
ISBN: 978-0-7494-5459-3 people and how to handle them
Kogan Page Kogan Page US
120 Pentonville Road 525 South 4th Street, #241
London N1 9JN Philadelphia PA 19147 9 7 8 0 7 4 9 4 5 4 5 9 3
United Kingdom USA Business and management /
www.koganpage.com Personal development
MIKE LEIBLING
2nd edition
A guide to over 50 types
of difficult people and LEIBLING
HOW PEOPLE TICK how to handle them
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HOW
PEOPLE
TICK
How People Tick prelims:How People Tick prelims 18/12/08 10:44 Page ii
How People Tick prelims:How People Tick prelims 18/12/08 10:44 Page iii
HOW
PEOPLE
TICK
A guide to over 50 types of difficult
people and how to handle them
2nd edition
MIKE LEIBLING
London and Philadelphia
How People Tick prelims:How People Tick prelims 18/12/08 10:44 Page iv
Publisher’s note
Every possible effort has been made to ensure that the information contained in this
book is accurate at the time of going to press, and the publishers and author cannot
accept responsibility for any errors or omissions, however caused. No responsibility for
loss or damage occasioned to any person acting, or refraining from action, as a result
of the material in this publication can be accepted by the editor, the publisher or the
author.
First published in Great Britain and the United States in 2005 by Kogan Page Limited
Reprinted in 2005, 2006, 2007
Second edition 2009
Apart from any fair dealing for the purposes of research or private study, or criticism or
review, as permitted under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988, this publica-
tion may only be reproduced, stored or transmitted, in any form or by any means, with
the prior permission in writing of the publishers, or in the case of reprographic repro-
duction in accordance with the terms and licences issued by the CLA. Enquiries
concerning reproduction outside these terms should be sent to the publishers at the
undermentioned addresses:
120 Pentonville Road 525 South 4th Street, #241
London N1 9JN Philadelphia PA 19147
United Kingdom USA
www.koganpage.com
© Mike Leibling, 2005, 2009
The right of Mike Leibling to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted
by him in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.
ISBN 978 0 7494 5459 3
British Library Cataloguing-in-Publication Data
A CIP record for this book is available from the British Library.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Leibling, Mike.
How people tick : a guide to over 50 types of difficult people and
how to handle them / Mike Leibling. -- 2nd ed.
p. cm.
ISBN 978-0-7494-5459-3
1. Interpersonal conflict. 2. Conflict management. I. Title.
BF637.I48L55 2009
158.2--dc22
2008054358
Typeset by Jean Cussons Typesetting, Diss, Norfolk
Printed and bound in India by Replika Press Pvt Ltd
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Contents
About the author x
Preface to the second edition xi
Introduction 1
1. Angry people who may also be Aggressive, Antagonistic, 2
Argumentative, Confrontational, Destructive,
Explosive, Hostile, Intimidating, Threatening, Vicious
or even Violent
2. Anxious people who may also be Catastrophizers, 9
Dejected, Miserable, Pessimists, Sad, Scared, Terrified,
Timid, Unhappy or Worriers
3. Apologetic people who may feel so apologetic so often 11
about so many things that they and others feel they’re
a ‘Sorry’ Person
4. Biased people who may also be seen as Bigots, 15
Closed-minded, Prejudiced, Rigid, Unfair or Making
Sweeping Assumptions or Generalizations
5. Blamers who may Blame Other People or Blame 19
Circumstances, or just Not Take Responsibility
for their own actions
6. Boring people who may also be Burblers, Digressers, 22
Ramblers, Tedious, Unfocused or Wafflers
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vi ■ Contents
7. Bullies who may also be Aggressive, Belittling, 26
Bombastic, Bossy, Dictatorial, Haranguing, Harassing,
Intimidating, Oppressive, Pressurizing, Railroading,
Threatening or plain Unkind or quite possibly all
of these at once
8. Change-resistant people who may also be Conservative, 32
Inflexible, Risk-averse, Unadventurous, Unimaginative
or indeed just Calm and Patient
9. Charmers who may also be Attractive, Charismatic, 36
Seductive, Slick, Slimy or Smarmy or quite possibly all
of these together
10. Cold people who may also be seen as Thick-skinned, 39
Unaffectionate, Unemotional, Unempathetic,
Uninvolved or possibly even Insensitive or Brutal
11. Competitive people 42
12. Confused people who may also be Unsettled 45
13. Difficult people who may be plain Contrary, 49
Disagreeable or Disharmonious
14. Disobedient people 52
15. Disrespectful people who may also be Belittlers, 57
Dismissive, Flippant, Humiliators, Insensitive,
Politically Incorrect and/or Put-Downers
16. Dumpers who may mistakenly believe they are 62
Delegators
17. Embarrassed people who may also Belittle Themselves 65
and/or their Achievements, or be Excessively Modest
or Quiet, Reluctant to Accept Praise/Compliments,
Scared to Speak Up, Self-deprecating, Self-effacing, Shy
18. Forgetful people who may also be prone to Losing 68
Things
19. Gossipy people who may also be Cliquey and 73
Rumour-mongers
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Contents ■ vii
20. Hostile people who may also appear to be Alienating, 78
Antagonistic, Argumentative, Confrontational,
Disaffected, Disloyal, Disrespectful, Grudging,
Obstructive, Resentful, Ridiculing, Rude, Sarcastic, Snide,
Sulky, Trouble-makers, Uncooperative, Undermining,
Unforgiving, Unfriendly, Vengeful or Vindictive
21. Impatient people who may also be Complainers, 84
Intolerant and Unreasonable
22. Impetuous, impulsive people 88
23. Indecisive people who generally Find It Hard to Make 91
Decisions
24. Insecure people who may also be Fragile, Intraverted, 98
Loners, Needing Constant Reassurance, Over-sensitive,
Shy, Thin-skinned, Timid, Unconfident, Victim-like,
with Low Confidence, Low Self-esteem, Low
Self-worth
25. Insincere people who may also be seen as Deceivers, 105
Liars, Manipulators, Tricksters, Two-faced,
Untrustworthy
26. Last-minuters who leave things until the very last 108
moment
27. Late people who may also consistently Miss Deadlines 112
or be Unpunctual or Unreliable
28. Loners who may also Keep Themselves to Themselves 115
and not be Obvious Team Players
29. Messy people who may also be Disorganized or Untidy 118
30. Moody people who may also seem Temperamental, 122
Unpredictable and/or Unreliable
31. Must-have-the-last-word people who may also be 125
Hangers-on and The Last to Leave
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viii ■ Contents
32. Negative people who may also be But-ters, Dampeners, 129
Pessimists or Wet Blankets
33. Nit-picky people who may tend to Find Faults 131
34. Patronizing people who may also be Arrogant, 134
Belittling, Insensitive, Pompous, Self-important, Smug,
Snobbish, Thick-skinned, Unobservant or all of these
at once
35. Phobic people who may be Fearful, Frightened, Scared 138
or Terrified of, say, presenting in public
36. Plodders who may also be Infuriatingly Slow, Tedious 143
and Tortoises (vs Hares)
37. Princesses and princes who may aso be Daydreamers, 146
Deluded, Precious, Preeners, Spoiled or probably all
of these rolled into one
38. Repeaters, ie people who Keep Repeating Themselves 149
39. Scatter-gun thinkers who may also be Unfocused 153
(actually Multi-focused) and Unpredictable and may
Flit from Idea to Idea
40. Selfish people who may also be Inconsiderate, 156
Self-centred, Self-obsessed
41. Show-offs who are Attention-seeking, Cocky, Extreme 159
Extraverts and Full of Themselves
42. Stressed people who may also be Anxious, Fretful, 163
Pressured, Tense and/or Worried
43. Unassertive people who may also seem too Compliant, 167
Malleable, Subservient or Weak
44. Unenthusiastic people who may also be low on 170
Ambition, ‘Drive’, Excitement, Inspiration, Motivation,
Optimism or Passion
45. Unfulfilled people who may also be considered Failures, 175
Inadequate, Sad, Underachievers or Unsatisfied
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Contents ■ ix
46. Unmotivated people who may Do the Minimum, 181
Need Telling Every Single Thing to Do, and also be
Clock-watchers, Demotivated, Disengaged, Uninterested,
Incurious, Lethargic, Reluctant, Slow, Timeservers,
Uninvolvable or Unwilling
47. Unrealistic people who may be Overpromising Others 188
and Kidding Themselves
48. Untrusting people who may also be Cautious, Cynical, 191
Hard to Convince, Sceptical or Suspicious
49. U-turners who may also be Backtrackers or 196
Mind-changers
50. Workaholics 200
51. Yes people who appear to Agree with Everything and 204
have No Real Opinions of Their Own