Hide & Seek: How I Laughed at Depression, Conquered My Fears and Found Happiness

258 Pages·2008·5.35 MB·English

by  Wendy Aron

How I Laughed At Depression,
Conquered My Fears And Found Happiness
H I D E
&
S E E K
H
Starred Review From Booklist
Aron draws on her training as a screenwriter and her experience as a television sitcom
writer to tell a hysterically funny account of one woman’s quest for happiness. Having
battled depression in her twenties, Aron finds that being forced to do the same in her
forties is downright, well . . . depressing—even to the point of longing for the good ol’ days
when psychological problems forced her to be hospitalized. But this time she realizes that she
can’t rely totally on her beloved therapist but must devise a method to improve herself. Her
“master plan” for fixing everything from her relationships with her mother and with men to
her weight and health goes awry in multiple ways, all of which she recounts with endearing
self-deprecating humor. Among the missteps are a self-help class (in which the instructor
preaches that posture is the key to happiness) and a try at speed dating (where one date
wept for his dead wife). In the end, Aron finds a “new plan,” one that involves acceptance,
forgiveness, and gratitude. This engrossing, thoroughly entertaining memoir offers both a
delightfully ironic view of the self-help industry and, at the same time, an inspiring personal
story of recovery that will resonate with women of all ages and situations.
— Mary Frances Wilkens/Booklist
Featured Review From ForeWord
There’s no lack of self-help books aimed at people who suffer from depression, anxiety,
low self-esteem, or neuroses. Nor do we face a dearth of memoirs by people who have
been through the excruciating hoops of misery and treatment. So why does the world
need Wendy Aron’s Hide & Seek, which combines her personal story with advice from various
professionals she meets during her year of discovery? The answer’s simply good medicine:
she makes her readers laugh—at the world of self-improvement education, at spiritual gurus,
and at ourselves. Learning how to cope with hopelessness has never been so fun.
Aron smartly avoids revealing too much of her emotionally fraught past. After ten
years of therapy and a short stint in a mental institution, she knows why she suffers from
depression, low self-esteem and a tendency to overeat—growing up in the shadow of a sick
sibling with two critical, emotionally distant parents might do the trick for anyone. Now, at
40, she focuses on change. She wants to find a healthy romantic relationship, succeed at her
career, and appreciate her friends. To this end, she signs up for a plethora of workshops with
titles like “Self-Esteem and the New You” and “Humor and Learned Optimism.” Speed dating,
a weekend seminar in creativity, and a Weight Watchers membership round out her attempt
to create a life of serenity and productivity.
What does she get out of these classes? For one thing, a delicious assortment of one-
liners that have a good chance of reducing even the most down-and-out into fits of giggles.
But her humor isn’t directed solely at the teachers or the other students (she’s never cruel)—
her funniest moments, and her most touching, come at her own expense. After learning about
the “misery gap,” the difference between one’s real and the ideal selves, Aron observes, “My
gap is as wide as the earth’s distance from the moon.”
Her classes are good for more than just entertainment, however. By the end of the year
she realizes she isn’t alone in feeling unhappy, that many people are worse off than her. This
epiphany carries her a long way toward gaining control over her own perceptions. Aron serves
herself up as an inspiration, made easy to swallow with a good laugh.
— Andi Diehn/ForeWord
How I Laughed At Depression,
Conquered My Fears And Found Happiness
H I D E
&
S E E K
A Neurotic’s Hilarious Journey
W e n d y A r o n
L A R G O , U S A
H I D E & S E E K
Copyright © 2008 by Wendy Aron.
All Rights Reserved. Published and printed in the United States of America by Kunati
Inc. (USA) and simultaneously printed and published in Canada by Kunati Inc. (Canada)
No part of this book may be reproduced, copied or used in any form
or manner whatsoever without written permission,
except in the case of brief quotations in reviews and critical articles.
For information, contact Kunati Inc., Book Publishers in both USA and Canada.
In USA: 6901 Bryan Dairy Road, Suite 150, Largo, FL 33777 USA
In Canada: 75 First Street, Suite 128, Orangeville, ON L9W 5B6 CANADA.
Or e-mail to [email protected].
F I R S T E D I T I O N
Designed by Kam Wai Yu
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ISBN-13: 978-1-60164-158-8 EAN 9781601641588
Non-Fiction/Body/Mind/Spirit/Self Help/Recovery
Published by Kunati Inc. (USA) and Kunati Inc. (Canada).
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owned by Kunati Inc. Persona is a trademark owned by Persona Corp.
All other trademarks are the property of their respective owners.
Disclaimer: This is a work of non-fiction. All events, characters and situations described
in it are real. In some instances the author has taken liberties with chronology in the interest
of narrative flow or changed names of people to protect confidentiality. Kunati Inc. and its
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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Aron, Wendy.
Hide & seek : how I laughed at depression, conquered my fears and found
happiness / Wendy Aron. -- 1st ed.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references and index.
ISBN 978-1-60164-158-8 (alk. paper)
1. Aron, Wendy--Mental health. 2. Depressed persons--United States--Biography.
3. Women television writers--United States--Biography. I. Title. II. Title: Hide and
seek.
RC537.W758 2008
616.85’2700928--dc22
[B]
2008014008
D E D I C A T I O N
_________________
To everyone who needs help

C o n t e n ts
1. The Master Plan ............................................................................1
2. Excuse Me for Living .................................................................11
3. Confessions of a Victim ............................................................35
4. Singled Out.................................................................................57
5. Cancel, Cancel Redux ................................................................77
6. Weighty Issues ..........................................................................101
7. Me, Myself and I ......................................................................124
8. Bouncing Back ..........................................................................146
9. The Glass Half Full .................................................................174
10. Up, Up and Away .....................................................................192
11. Ms. Happiness ..........................................................................211
12. The New Plan ...........................................................................221
About the Author ...........................................................................227
Bibliography ....................................................................................229
Organizations ..................................................................................232
Web Sites .........................................................................................235

HIDE & SEEK n 1
C h a p t e r 1
The Master Plan
Had I been born at the dawn of the twentieth century, I would
have been injected with insulin to the point where I would have
shaken so violently I’d have fractured my jaw. Then I would have
slipped into a coma. If that didn’t work, my hands and feet would
have been bound and I would have been dunked into a vat of water,
or my teeth would have been ripped out.
Fortunately, none of this happened because I was diagnosed with
major depression in the latter half of the twentieth century, by which
time psychiatric treatments had become as boring as a politician’s
promises.
However, in spite of my years of relatively benign therapy, when a
good friend called to wish me a happy fortieth birthday one evening,
I was thinking about a brilliantly conceived suicide.
“What are you going to do tonight to celebrate?” she asked me.
“I’m going to my therapist,” I told her, and then mentioned the
article I had seen about a man who jumped to his death off the H in
the Hollywood sign. It had once briefly occurred to me to jump off
the Y when I lived in Los Angeles, I reminded her.
“Well, you’re in New York now, so don’t think about it,” my friend
admonished me. “Just blow out the candles at your therapist’s.”
Although my friend seemed to find it amusing, I didn’t think
there was anything particularly wrong with seeing my therapist on
my birthday. In fact, it was my birthday present to me; I had been
treating with Isabel for depression for over ten years, and I considered