He's Got Potential: A Field Guide to Shy Guys, Bad Boys, Intellectuals, Cheaters, and Everything in Between

238 Pages·2010·2.42 MB·English

by  Belisa Vranich

A Field Guide to Shy Guys, Bad Boys,
Intellectuals, Cheaters, and
Everything in Between
Dr. Belisa Vranich
and Ariane Marder
John Wiley & Sons, Inc.

He’s Got
Potential

A Field Guide to Shy Guys, Bad Boys,
Intellectuals, Cheaters, and
Everything in Between
Dr. Belisa Vranich
and Ariane Marder
John Wiley & Sons, Inc.
Copyright © 2010 by Belisa Vranich and Ariane Marder. All rights reserved
Published by John Wiley & Sons, Inc., Hoboken, New Jersey
Published simultaneously in Canada
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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data:
Lozano-Vranich, Belisa, date.
He’s got potential: a fi eld guide to shy guys, bad boys, intellectuals, cheaters, and
everything in between/Belisa Vranich.
p. cm.
Includes index.
ISBN 978-0-470-26701-1 (pbk.)
1. Mate selection. 2. Man-woman relationships. 3. Women—Psychology.
4. Men—Psychology. I. Title.
HQ801.L696 2010
306.82—dc22
2009015965
Printed in the United States of America
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
Contents
1 Prince Charming Potential (PCP) 1
2 It’s Not My Fault, It’s My Brain! 29
3 Meeting His Representative 49
4 Liars, Cheaters, Cheapskates, and Couch Potatoes 69
5 The Bad Boy 101
6 Refi ne Your Target 123
7 Change Him, Mold Him 143
8 Know When to Walk Away, Know When to Run 167
9 Getting Over Him 189
10 One for the Boys 213
Index 225
v

N
inety- f our percent of women between
the ages of eighteen and forty- fi ve
start thinking about how to change a man
within the fi rst four minutes of a date.
A man would n ever say about a woman
he just went out with, “ S he’ s got poten-
tial.” It’ s almost a comical notion: two
men are sitting at a bar, and one says to
the other, “ So, man, how was your date
yesterday? ” The other nods and replies,
“ Yeah, this one, she ’ s got potential.”
He’s Got Potential
They each take a swig of beer. “ If I can get her to swivel less on
her golf swing, ” the second man continues, “ she could break forty.
And I ’ m sure that leg curls would take care of that bit of cellulite
on the back of her thighs. She snorts when she laughs, but I can
probably get used to that. Yep, this could be the ticket.”
The fi rst man slaps his friend on the back and says, “ Good luck,
man. You are more of an optimist than I, my friend. Remember
that babe last year? I thought she was almost perfect. I thought I
could change her. There were just a few little things that drove me
nuts: that friggin’ little dog of hers that she’ d bring everywhere,
that vegetarian kick she was on, and then the last straw— a Mets
fan. ” Sigh. “ But good luck, my friend.”
Never. It never happens.
You, on the other hand, have said it a hundred times, and you ’ ve
thought it twice as much. You are excited when you say, “ W hew,
baby, now this one, this one has some po - ten - tial! ” Just a few
tweaks, you think — whiten the teeth, throw out that dorky shirt
he wears every third date, zap the propensity to quote S uperbad or
Top Gun at every possible moment— and he ’ s golden.
Are you kidding? You become exasperated when you put
together Ikea furniture or fi x the glitch in the garbage disposal.
Now you have a man who is hardwired to remember every Robert
De Niro or Russell Crowe line ever uttered, and you think you are
going to change him?
R egardless of your pathetic failure rate with past fi x - it projects,
somewhere inside you there is a voice saying, “ G o for it. It’ l l be
easy!” Are you high, girl? You have a better chance of birthing tri-
plets at age fi fty than slipping that gnarly shirt off the hanger and
into the garbage without him noticing.
Rarely will a woman report, after a fi rst date, that the guy is
perfect exactly the way he is. No man is perfect. It ’ s just that some
have Prince Charming potential (PCP).
2