Helping Couples Get Past the Affair: A Clinician's Guide PDF
Preview Helping Couples Get Past the Affair: A Clinician's Guide
Helping Couples Get Past the Affair Helping Couples Get Past the Affair A Clinician’s Guide Donald H. Baucom Douglas K. Snyder Kristina Coop Gordon THE GUILFORD PRESS New York London © 2009 The Guilford Press A Division of Guilford Publications, Inc. 72 Spring Street, New York, NY 10012 www.guilford.com All rights reserved No part of this book may be reproduced, translated, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, microfilming, recording, or otherwise, without written permission from the Publisher. Printed in the United States of America This book is printed on acid-free paper. Last digit is print number: 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Baucom, Donald H. Helping couples get past the affair : a clinician’s guide / Donald H. Baucom, Douglas K. Snyder, and Kristina Coop Gordon. p. ; cm. Companion to: Getting past the affair / Douglas K. Snyder, Donald H. Baucom, Kristina Coop Gordon. c2007. Includes bibliographical references and index. ISBN 978-1-60623-067-1 (alk. paper) 1. Marital psychotherapy. 2. Adultery. I. Snyder, Douglas K. II. Gordon, Kristina Coop. III. Snyder, Douglas K. Getting past the affair. IV. Title. [DNLM: 1. Marital Therapy—methods. 2. Extramarital Relations— psychology. WM 430.5.M3 B337h 2009] RC488.5.B373 2009 616.89′1562—dc22 2008048491 With love and appreciation to our spouses: Linda, Linda, and Andrew You have taught us much about commitment and staying true to our values. D. H. B. D. K. S. K. C. G. About the Authors Donald H. Baucom, PhD, is Richard Lee Simpson Distinguished Professor of Psychology at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. His research focuses on couples and marriage, with an emphasis on the integration of basic research and applied treatment outcome investigations and has been funded through grants from the National Institutes of Health and various foundations. Through his approximately 175 publications, Dr. Baucom has helped to shape an understanding of the role of cognitions in intimate relationships, which has contributed to the development of cognitive-behavioral couple therapy. He also helped develop and evaluate the efficacy of couple-based interven- tions for the treatment of marital distress, recovery from infidelity, preven- tion of marital discord, enhancement of satisfied relationships, treatment of psychopathology within a couple context, and the application of couple-based interventions to a variety of health problems. In addition to his empirical investigations, Dr. Baucom has written and edited several books on couple treatment and observational coding of couple interaction, which are fundamental readings for the field. He has served as Associate Editor for Behavior Therapy and is on the editorial boards of numer- ous journals. Dr. Baucom also is a noted teacher, speaker, and mentor. He is the recipient of several awards for excellence in undergraduate teaching and mentoring graduate students as well as the Mary Clarke Award for lifetime contributions to psychology in North Carolina. Dr. Baucom gives workshops throughout the world training professionals in couple therapy, serves as an advocate for individuals with mental health problems, and maintains an active clinical practice working with couples and individuals around relation- ship difficulties. vii viii About the Authors Douglas K. Snyder, PhD, is Professor of Psychology and Director of Clinical Training at Texas A&M University in College Station. Nationally recognized for his research on marital assessment and for his outcome research on marital therapy, Dr. Snyder is the author of the widely used Marital Satisfaction Inven- tory. He has published one of the few controlled studies comparing behavioral with nonbehavioral approaches to couple therapy. A 4-year follow-up study of his couple treatment research funded by the National Institute of Mental Health was recognized by the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy as the Outstanding Research Contribution in 1991. Dr. Snyder is coeditor of the books Treating Difficult Couples and Emotion Regulation in Couples and Families. In 2005, he received an award from the American Psychological Association for Distinguished Contributions to Fam- ily Psychology. He is a Fellow in the Divisions of Family Psychology, Clinical Psychology, Psychotherapy, and Evaluation and Measurement of the Ameri- can Psychological Association; of the Society for Personality Assessment; and of the American Association for Applied and Preventive Psychology. Dr. Snyder has served as Editor of the Clinician’s Research Digest and as Associate Editor of the Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology and Journal of Family Psychology. He also serves on the editorial boards of numerous clinical psy- chology and family therapy journals. In addition to his research and teaching, Dr. Snyder maintains a clinical practice emphasizing couple therapy. Kristina Coop Gordon, PhD, is Associate Professor and Associate Director of Clinical Training in the clinical psychology program at the University of Tennessee–Knoxville. She has served as Vice-President for Science of Divi- sion 43 (Family Psychology) of the American Psychological Association and is currently chair of its task force on empirically validated couple and family therapies. Dr. Gordon also has served as copresident of the Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies Couples Research and Therapy Special Interest Group. She has authored numerous articles and book chapters on for- giveness, couple therapy, and dyadic processes in journals such as the Journal of Family Psychology, Journal of Marriage and the Family, Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, and Family Process. Dr. Gordon conducts research on forgive- ness and family processes and also maintains a clinical practice specializing in couple therapy. Acknowledgments This book evolved from, and is the culmination of, our clinical experi- ences, empirical research, discussions with couples, and interactions with numerous colleagues over many years that reflect on how to help couples address significant interpersonal traumas such as infidelity. In all of these contexts, a consensus arose: Healing from infidelity is extremely difficult for couples and presents a significant challenge for couple therapists. In this book, we recommend that couples take advantage of all possible resources at their disposal to complete the challenging journey before them, and we followed the same advice. At our respective universities and elsewhere, we have extraordinary colleagues and students who stimulate and challenge us, and we thank those individuals who have helped us grow individually and have supported our efforts. Collectively, we have been part of a larger group of colleagues who conduct research on infidelity, and we are especially appre- ciative to Beth Allen, Dave Atkins, and the late Shirley Glass, who helped us develop the book’s overall conceptual framework. This collaboration and other collaborative research have greatly influenced the book. Once the idea for a book takes shape in the minds of the authors, a strong publishing company becomes an essential partner in the process of turning ideas into a finished product. In our experience, there is no better publisher than The Guilford Press in helping authors to shape the content and presen- tation of ideas for an intended audience. Our sincere thanks to Kitty Moore, who not only encouraged us to write this book, but also encouraged us to write the 2007 self-help book for couples Getting Past the Affair: A Program to Help You Cope, Heal, and Move On—Together or Apart. Jim Nageotte was a ix
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