Helping Children and Adolescents Think about Death, Dying and Bereavement

226 Pages·2016·2.54 MB·English

by  Marian Carter

How can children and adolescents begin to understand death
and cope with bereavement? And how can we, as adults,
support and engage with young people as they face the death Marian Carter
of someone close to them, or think about their own dying?
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Exploring how children and adolescents can engage with all
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Helping Children and
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looks at how children comprehend the death of a pet or, for a
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grieving. It combines reflections on experience, sociological, C
psychological and historical insights and perspectives from a Death, Dying and
different world faiths to offer guidance on how to discuss r
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death with children. It places a particular emphasis on the e Bereavement
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importance of listening to the child or adolescent and adapting
your approach based on their responses. The book also
explains how personal experiences of loss can provide you
with models for interacting with young people on the
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Helping Children and Adolescents Think
about Death, Dying and Bereavement
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Helping Children and
Adolescents Think about
Death, Dying and
Bereavement
Marian Carter
Jessica Kingsley Publishers
London and Philadelphia
All Bible quotations are taken from the New Revised Standard Version Bible: Anglicized
Edition, copyright 1989, 1995, Division of Christian Education of the National
Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission.
All rights reserved.
First published in 2016
by Jessica Kingsley Publishers
73 Collier Street
London N1 9BE, UK
and
400 Market Street, Suite 400
Philadelphia, PA 19106, USA
www.jkp.com
Copyright © Marian Carter 2016
Front cover image source: iStockphoto®. The cover image is for illustrative purposes
only, and any person featuring is a model.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced in any material form
(including photocopying, storing in any medium by electronic means or transmitting)
without the written permission of the copyright owner except in accordance with the
provisions of the law or under terms of a licence issued in the UK by the Copyright
Licensing Agency Ltd. www.cla.co.uk or in overseas territories by the relevant
reproduction rights organisation, for details see www.ifrro.org. Applications for the
copyright owner’s written permission to reproduce any part of this publication should
be addressed to the publisher.
Warning: The doing of an unauthorised act in relation to a copyright work may result in
both a civil claim for damages and criminal prosecution.
Library of Congress Cataloging in Publication Data
Names: Carter, Marian, author. Title: Helping children and adolescents think about
death, dying, and
bereavement / Marian Carter. Description: Philadelphia : Jessica Kingsley Publishers,
2016. | Includes
bibliographical references and index. Identifiers: LCCN 2016004457 | ISBN
9781785920110 (alk. paper) Subjects: LCSH: Children and death. | Death--
Psychological aspects. Classification: LCC BF723.D3 C37 2016 | DDC 155.9/37083-
-dc23 LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2016004457
British Library Cataloguing in Publication Data
A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library
ISBN 978 1 78592 011 0
eISBN 978 1 78450 255 3
To all the children who have challenged
me and from whom I have learnt.
To Jo Roberts, a friend and encourager.
To editors Natalie Watson, Jane Evans and
Kerrie Morton for their wise and helpful comments.

Contents
Introduction . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9
1. What is Death? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 15
2. Grief and Bereavement . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 39
3. Challenging Factors Influencing Grief . . . . . . . . . . . . . 63
4. What Should We Tell Children and Adolescents? . . . . . . . 89
5. Schools Coping with Bereavement and Death . . . . . . . . 109
6. Funerals . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 134
7. Continuing Care of Children and Adolescents . . . . . . . . 155
8. Care of the Carers Including Ourselves . . . . . . . . . . . . 171
9. Weaving the Threads Together . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 188
Appendix 1: Creating a School Policy for the Pastoral Care
of Bereaved Pupils . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 192
Appendix 2: Creating a School Policy: Exploring Loss through
the Curriculum . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 196
Appendix 3: The Nature of Childhood . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 200
Appendix 4: Babies and Infants Dying. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 201
References . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 207
Further Reading. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 211
Useful Websites and Organisations . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 214
Subject Index. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 219
Author Index. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 224