Hello, Wine The Most Essential Things You Need to Know About Wine

228 Pages·2013·13.36 MB·English

by  Melanie Wagner

Hello,
WI N E
The Most MELANIE WAGNER
ESSENTIAL
THINGS
Illustrations by
You Need to Know LUCY ENGELMAN
ABOUT WINE
CHRONICLE BOOKS
SAN FRANCISCO
for Christian
CONTENTS
Little Wine Love Notes 8 Grape to Glass 44
Grow, Baby, Grow 45
Welcome to Wine 10
Vineyard Vocabulary 46
Wine Is Big: Get Cozy with It 11
The Annual Cycle of a Vine 49
Baby Steps 15
Winemaking 101 54
Get Gear 15
Vine Math 58
Decoding the Pomp and Circumstance 19
Terroir: There’s No Place Like Home 61
Know Your ABTs 21
Grapes Love a Good Fight 62
Become a Savvy Shopper 24
Label Language 27 Evaluating What’s
Nine Secrets for Ordering Wine in the Glass 64
on a Restaurant List 28
See 65
The Taste Test 30
Color Confidential 66
Little Wine Lies 32 Smell 67
The Aroma Wheel 68
#1: Expensive Wine Is Great Wine 33
Awful Aromas 70
#2: Screw Caps Are for Cheap Wine 34
Taste 73
#3: You’re Allergic to the Sulfites in Wine 35
Wine Talk 74
#4: Blends Are Better 36
What Makes a Wine Exceptional? 78
#5: Voluptuous Legs Are Raveworthy 37
Vintage Variation 79
#6: It’s OK for Anybody to Use the C-Word 38
#7: Pink Is Passé 42 The Great Divide 80
How Old Is Old? 81
Rules and Regulations 83
The Name Game 86
Wine Label Anatomy 87
The Greatest Division of All 90
Old World/New World Cheat Sheet 92
Grapes to Know 94 Wine and Food 142
Sauvignon Blanc: The Acid Queen 98 General Guidelines for Pairing 143
Chardonnay: Miss Popularity 101 Cheese Matters 147
Riesling: The Nerd 105 Cheese Pairing Guide: Twenty-Nine Top
Pinot Noir: The Seductress 108 Cheeses and Their Perfect Wine Partners 148
Cabernet Sauvignon: The King 111 Decadent Debauchery: A Map for Your
Sweet Tooth 151
Merlot: The Wallflower 114
Wine + Chocolate = Fake Friends 154
Sangiovese: The Italian All-Star 116
Other Tricky Foods to Pair 155
Zinfandel: The Good-Time Grape 119
Great Wines for Pairing 156
Syrah: The Dark and Mysterious One 121
Wines for Cooking 157
Take Care and
Drink This, Eat That 158
Always Share 124 Eat This, Drink That 168
Take Good Care of Your Babies 125
What Next? 180
Wine’s Lifeline 127
Serving Secrets 130 Go to Tastings and Wine Events 181
Wine 911 134 Start a Wine Tasting Group 181
How Much? A Wine Buying Guide 137 Homework Six-Packs 183
Throw a Wine Party 186
The After-Party Isn’t Really a Party
After All 138 Visit Wineries 191
Bring Out the Big Guns 139 Join Wine Clubs 194
Great Wine Gifts 140 Read On! 195
Twenty-Five Reliable Grocery Store
Brands 197
Twenty-Five Wines on a Dime 198
Online Wine Retailers 199
Glossary of Wines 200
Index 218
Acknowledgments 228
HELLO, WINE
Little Wine Love Notes
8
I set out to be a teacher; the wine part was My bumpkin status did come with a perk
a surprise turn. Postcollege, with one psych- though. Because I was hobnobbing with
ology degree and two years of teaching top winemakers, importers, and restau-
adorable but exhausting four-year-olds rateurs, my aha moments with wine
under my belt, I felt restless. I was living were bittersweet—bitterly humbling as
in a dump in San Francisco, scraping by I was constantly reminded of how little I
on a steady diet of ramen noodles, when knew, yet sweet because I usually had
the idea of working with wine entered my an incredible glass of wine in my hand.
consciousness. Thankfully, passion and curiosity always
seemed to conquer my pride. Maybe it
One afternoon on the playground I asked
was self-preservation, or the patience I
the mother of one of my students what she
had developed tending to those preschool
did for a living. When she answered that
tots, but I turned frustration with my own
she sold fine wine, bells went off in my
ignorance into an unrelenting drive to
head and my eyes got wide and sparkly. I
understand wine, and then to assist others
remember thinking, “Selling wine is a job?”
in getting there on a (fingers crossed) less
It had never occurred to me. I had always
painful path.
loved drinking wine (when I could afford
it). A career in wine sounded irresistibly During the past ten years, as a Certified
glamorous. I left my preschool gig giddy Sommelier, writer, speaker, and teacher,
with the vision of a chic new life. However, I’ve had the opportunity to educate many
my real-world adventures on the way to wine professionals and connoisseurs. My
becoming a wine guru were rarely idyllic. favorite students, however, are the ones
who are just beginning to dive in: people
Promptly after my epiphany, I talked my
who’ve had enough experience with wine to
way into a job I was thoroughly under-
know that they are hooked and are eager to
qualified for—selling fine wine for a top
learn more. Of course, they want to under-
distributor. Seemingly overnight, I was
stand why wine tastes like it does, but they
knee-deep in elite circles of the industry,
also become empowered when I can pro-
and I knew nothing about wine except that
vide them with practical, applicable wine
it was wet and it tasted good. If there had
info—things like how long a bottle stays
been a boot camp for wine, I would have
fresh after opening, what screw caps say
eagerly enlisted; the road would have been
about the quality of the wine, and how much
more predictable and I would have at least
money you need to spend to get a decent
had comrades to suffer alongside. Sadly, I
bottle of pinot noir. It is my passion and
was alone: a misfit. I still remember how
privilege to champion this group on the
embarrassing and uncomfortable it felt to
road to becoming aficionados.
be mocked by the snob sect.
LITTLE WINE LOVE NOTES
My calling to write this book emerged Think of this book as a gateway to wine.
because my own school of hard knocks left Just as preschool prepares you for the
me empathetic with wine rookies, and also rough-and-tumble world of elementary
9
because I saw a huge gap in the information education, consider this book a precursor
being touted as an “Introduction to Wine.” to your forthcoming wine adventures.
Most often in this category, you find beauti-
These pages are the culmination of every-
ful, articulate books that are insightful and
thing I’ve learned during my years of mis-
accurate, but overwhelming to the beginner.
haps and enlightenment on the wine route,
I remember picking up some of them in my
condensed into what I feel are the most
early days, and then promptly putting them
essential lessons you need to know now—at
back on the shelf. They were just too techni-
the beginning of your journey. Think of each
cal, too soon. On the flip side are pocket-
chapter as a little wine love note from me to
size works that do an injustice to wine by
you. Together, they contain the most impor-
oversimplifying it, setting the reader up for
tant nuggets of wine truth that I’ve learned
disappointment by promising them expert
along the way, the secrets I wish someone
status in one hundred petite pages.
had handed me when I was just starting
There’s a fine line between simplifying wine out. I hope this book makes you smarter
and reducing it to something less than it and more confident. I hope it makes you
is, and also between respecting tradition think and laugh, and that it ignites a desire
and getting way too serious. I believe it’s to always continue learning more, so that
possible to enjoy wine, study it in easily your life is rich with the joy of wine.
digestible chunks, and celebrate its end-
less intrigue all at the same time.
Welcome to Wine
Maybe you are brand new to wine, or maybe you‘ve been drinking for years and
have just decided that it‘s time to step up your know-how. Either way, I’m glad
you’re here, and the first thing I want to do is give you a big warm welcome into
the wine world. It’s exciting and delicious—you are in for a treat.
As I see it, my job is to empower you with meaningful wine information (the
stuff you’re going to actually use) and to encourage you to feed your passion for
learning about wine, so that it far outlasts this book. We begin with a little pre-
game prep; the first chapter lays out my plan for how to approach the enormity
of the subject, and essential first steps to get started.
WELCOME TO WINE
WINE IS BIG:
1. WINE IS THE MOST INTERESTING
GET COZY WITH IT CONSUMABLE SUBJECT IN THE WORLD.
11
Wine is truly fascinating. I’m not just
Wine has a justifiable reputation for being talking about being intrigued by what’s in
intimidating: there’s a lot to know. All that the glass, but also the way in which it opens
knowledge can seem big and scary, and doors to learning about so many other
leave us feeling insecure. It might sound things. A single bottle can inspire us to pick
funny, but the first, most essential step to up a history book, learn about another
becoming confident with wine is to embrace culture, contemplate a scientific principle,
that vulnerability, and prepare for a lifetime enthuse over maps, or venture off to a new
of learning. The sooner you can get com- place. And the best part . . . you drink it!
fortable with the magnitude of what there is
to know—and content that you, in fact, do Wine is one of the only things I can think of
not need to master wine to relish it—the that combines intellect with pure, unadul-
more you will enjoy your overall experience. terated sensory hedonism. Reading alone
You do not need to memorize all the com- will never make you winewise; no book can
munes in Bordeaux or which grapes are duplicate the ultrasexy texture of pinot noir
grown in Romania in order to properly or the purely animalistic aroma of South
swoon over a great bottle; thankfully, the Africa’s signature grape, pinotage. To truly
pleasure of wine is not reserved for experts. absorb wine, you have to absorb it, which is
While I am here to help you develop a sense pretty much the best homework ever.
of intimacy and comfort with wine, I’ll also
be the first to tell you that getting too 2. WINE IS ALIVE.
technical can suck the romance right out of
Real wine comes from a farm, not a factory.
your glass. As you begin your education, I
Although some wine companies churn out
urge you to celebrate wine’s complexity and
cases of widget wine so formulated and
intrigue, and also to savor the trip. If you fall
fixed up in a chemistry lab that it becomes
in love, you will be challenged, as much as you
as predictable and tasty as plastic, true
like, for the rest of your wine drinking days.
wine—artisan wine—is highly affected by
the annual cycle of the vineyard, and by the
Here are just some of the ways in which
care that is taken in growing the sweet little
this moving target will keep you curious,
baby grapes that deliver it. This dynamic
once she’s captured your heart.
beverage, once bottled, still breathes and
evolves. It remains extremely sensitive to
time, temperature, travel, and context (like
what mood you’re in when you experience
it, who you’re with, or what you’re eating).
Did You Know? Danish researchers at the Institute of Preventive Medicine say that wine drinkers
have a higher IQ than beer and spirits drinkers or abstainers.
HELLO, WINE
Buy a dozen bottles of a stellar cabernet I’m a beer advocate, and I love a handcrafted
and taste one every year for twelve years. cocktail, too, but neither seems to have the
You’ll surely notice it keeps changing on contemplative trigger that wine does.
12
you. Like anything with a soul, wine is hard
Of course, not all wines will change your
to capture. It is never the same twice, but
life and not all of your wine experiences
that’s part of its elusive charm.
will be thoughtful. But, often, drinking
good wine reminds you to be a more mind-
3. WINE GROUNDS YOU.
ful human and can make everyday life
You may have already discovered . . . wine
more vivid.
has a spiritual side; if you let it, it has a
way of brightening your awareness. One
MORAL OF THE STORY
of the things that first attracted me to wine
Wine is big, deep, and mysterious. It’s
was that when I drank it, I noticed that I
going to take a long time, and a lot of
felt more connected to the earth and to the
drinking, for you to feel like you really
people I shared it with. In a world where
know wine. And, typically, as soon as you
people are increasingly detached—despite,
think you’ve got it, it surprises you with
and perhaps because of, a tsunami of
a fascinating twist. Just keep repeating
technology—wine demands you sit still. It
this mantra: Learning about wine is sexy,
helps you tune out distraction and be more
not scary.
present in the moment. It effortlessly
initiates meaningful conversation and carves
pathways that link you to the person across
the table, even if you start out as strangers.