Table Of Content

Self-Care The Ingredients for Health and Happiness The Power of Positivity How to Find the Time What the Science Says Self-Care The Ingredients for Health and Happiness 2 HEALTH Contents 4 I ntroduction It’s All About You C H A P T E R O N E Looking Inward 10 The New Future of Self-Care 16 The Power of Solitude 20 Back to Nature 24 Sometimes It’s All in Your Head 26 Tapping into Gratitude 30 Bounce Forward C H A P T E R T W O Self-Care for the Modern Age 36 Selling Self-Care 40 How Activists Practice Self-Care 46 B lack Mental Health in the Midst of Racism 50 The Caregiver’s Guide to Self-Care 56 How to Improve Your Digital Wellness 58 I Wrote Down Five Things That Make Me Happy 62 The Power of Positivity C H A P T E R T H R E E Staying Grounded 68 The Problem with Wine-and-Bubble- Bath Self-Care 72 How to Make Time for Self-Care When You Have None 76 The “Good Enough” Guide to Health 80 The Kids Need Me-Time, Too 82 How to Beat Burnout 86 K now Your Limits 88 Make Peace with Your Body 96 Sip Before Sleep Parts of this special edition were previously published by Health, Parents, and Shape. 3 HEALTH INTRODUCTION IT’S ALL ABOUT YOU Self-care has been a popular buzzword for years. But its definition and how we practice it have evolved in recent years. What does it mean to us now? BY HALLIE LEVINE WHEN AN AIRCRAFT HITS turbulence and those are so used to multitasking and always have so many oxygen masks come tumbling down, you’re supposed balls in the air, it’s easy for us to turn our energy to place the mask over your own mouth and nose toward supporting others without focusing on our- before turning to help others. There’s a good reason selves. But if we don’t take time just for us, we’ll for that: Without oxygen, you’ll quickly lose con- become depleted.” sciousness and won’t be of any use to anyone. Part of this may be because many women instinc- self-care It shouldn’t come as a surprise, then, that the same tively shy away from the word , viewing it as principle applies when it comes to a luxury that they simply can’t ourselves in our day-to-day lives. afford (it seems too frivolous to Too many of us wear a superhero soak in a warm bubble bath, for “Women are so used cape and rarely, if ever, take it off. example, while your partner stews to multitasking and A 2018 Cleveland Clinic survey of about losing their job and your always have so many women with kids under age 18 kids are behind in their Zoom balls in the air, it’s found that fewer than half regu- school). But the self-care move- easy for us to turn larly practiced self-care, or activi- ment actually started in the 1950s, our energy toward ties we do on purpose to nourish in an effort to help people who others without our physical, mental, and emo- were institutionalized learn how focusing on our- tional health. Fewer than a third to tend to such basic necessities as selves. But if we don’t eat right and exercise and less than grooming and shaving, says take time just for us, 20 percent ever chill with friends Elspeth Cameron Ritchie, MD, a we’ll become (women without children have a chair of psychiatry at MedStar depleted.” problem hanging up that cape, Washing ton Hospital Center in too, with only about half report- Washing ton, D.C. Then, in the ing that they regularly make it a 1970s, the term was appropriated priority to get some R&R). by the Black Panther Movement as a way to encour- But self-care in this day and age is more important age Black Americans to take care of themselves by, than ever. “We may not even realize it, but we all for example, getting screened for the genetic disorder have anxiety simmering underneath the surface that sickle cell anemia. In the 1980s, Black female activist diminishes all of our internal resources,” says Audre Lorde wrote, “Caring for myself is not self- Traci Maynigo, PsyD, a psychologist at Montefiore indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act Medical Center in the Bronx, New York. “Women of political warfare.” 4 HEALTH WIND DOWN FROM A BUSY DAY WITH SOME TUNES OR YOUR FAVORITE PODCAST. “Gradually, it evolved from the civil rights move- Wright, PhD, senior director of health care innova- ment to the women’s movement, as women began to tion at the American Psychological Association. Set realize that between home and work and children a hard and fast rule to stick to a bedtime that allows they were juggling so much and if they didn’t take you to get at least seven hours of shut-eye. Vow to care of themselves, they couldn’t take care of other make sure you have five-plus servings of fruits and people,” explains Ritchie. “It really became about veggies a day. Get outside to go for a walk in the fresh women setting boundaries—how to say no so that air for a minimum of 20 minutes every day. Make they could fit in time to get enough sleep and eat sure you connect with at least one close friend or right and stay somewhat active so that they could family member a few times a week, even if all you stay healthy enough to get on with their lives,” adds can manage is a 10- minute chat via Facetime. “If Karen Stewart, MD, a psychiatrist at Kaiser you can do those four things on a routine basis, Permanente in Atlanta. you’ve got a solid foundation going already for self- If you’re struggling with how to establish a self- care,” says Wright. “You’ll be in a place where you’re care routine, start with the basics, advises C. Vaile better able to be reflective and figure out which 6 HEALTH silently express gratitude for all that is positive in your life—snuggling with your pooch, or the sun shining during your morning run. Focus on what you have control over rather than on more abstract things MIXING that you can’t. TOGETHER A BRIGHT BLEND If you’re too overwhelmed to do all of this (and let’s OF FRUITS face it, that’s probably most of us), Stewart says you MAKES GREAT FEEL-GOOD can utilize an app such as myStrength, which helps SMOOTHIES. you track your mood and set goals. “It allows you to do a quick assessment of what’s going on with your life and assess what activities will be most useful to you, whether it’s taking a walk or indulging in some deep breathing,” she explains. Whatever you choose, it’s important that you take at least 15 minutes to do it each day. “Schedule it just like you’d schedule your child’s pediatrician appointment,” she says. “That way, it’s on your calendar and automatically becomes another part of your day.” It’s also important to take a moment to analyze the obstacles that may be getting in the way of a solid self-care routine. “You have to ask yourself the hard questions and come up with solutions,” says Wright. “Maybe it’s ordering groceries online twice a week so you don’t have to waste a couple of hours in the grocery store. Or asking your kids to pitch in and do some of the chores. Or insisting your spouse do his share of the errands and housework. There’s still this belief among women that if they’re asking for help, they’ve failed. But we need to realize that energy is a finite resource that needs to be replen- ished from time to time. It’s just like filling your car up with gas—we cannot allow our bodies to get to the point that they’re running on empty.” It’s a challenge that Stewart herself has gradually learned to take on. In the past, she had satisfied her need for self-care—and her yearning for adventure— activities are giving you joy and allowing you to be by traveling to exotic spots such as New Zealand to in the moment, instead of ruminating about the past do activities like white-water rafting and bungee or the future.” jumping. Now she stays closer to home. “I go on week- While self-care is crucial for everyone, it’s partic- end hikes where I check out local state parks, and ularly key if you’re finding that you’re displaying during the week, I make sure I get in some short walks Girl Trek clear signs of anxiety or depression, says Stewart, while listening to my favorite podcast, , like snapping at your kids over little things or not which focuses on African American women in his- finding joy in activities you normally love to do, like tory,” she says. A couple of evenings a week, she makes curling up with a good book or watching Netflix with sure she winds down over a gourmet meal (complete your partner. “In these highly charged times, you with wine). “Is it a challenge fitting it in? Yes, it is, and really need the ability to be able to take a deep breath I’m the first to admit that I’m not perfect at it,” she and say, ‘I can do this,’ ” she adds. One way to nurture says. “Taking time for ourselves is daunting. But the yourself in these stressful moments is to engage in a more we do it, the more we prepare ourselves to be few p ositive-thinking exercises. Take a moment to our best selves in our lives.” ● 7 HEALTH 8