Healing The Child Within: Discovery and Recovery for Adult Children of Dysfunctional Families

191 Pages·1987·0.74 MB·English

by  Charles L. Whitfield M.D.

title : Healing the Child Within : Discovery and Recovery for Adult
Children of Dysfunctional Families
author : Whitfield, Charles L.
publisher : Health Communications, Inc.
isbn10 | :
asin
print : 9780932194404
isbn13
ebook : 9780585110080
isbn13
language : English
subject Codependency--Treatment, Self, Adult children of dysfunctional
families--Medical rehabilitation.
publication : 1987
date
lcc : RC569.5.C63W47 1987eb
ddc : 616.89
subject : Codependency--Treatment, Self, Adult children of dysfunctional
families--Medical rehabilitation.
Page i
Healing The Child Within
Discovery and Recovery for Adult Children of Dysfunctional
Families
Charles L. Whitfield, M.D.
Health Communications, Inc. Deerfield Beach, Florida
Page ii
Charles L. Whitfield, M.D.
Box 420487
Atlanta, GA 30342
404-843-4300
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Whitfield, Charles L.
Healing the child within.
Bibliography: p.
1. Codependence (Psychology) Treatment. 2. Self.
3. Alcoholics Family relationships. 4. Children of alcoholic parents Mental health. 5. Adult child abuse victims Mental health. 1. Title.
RC569.5.C63W47 1987 616.89 87-137
Reprinted 1989
© 1987 Charles L. Whitfield
ISBN 0932194-40-0
All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system
or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise without the written
permission of the publisher.
Published by Health Communications, Inc.
Enterprise Center
3201 Southwest 15th Street
Deerfield Beach, FL 33442
Cover Design and Illustration by Reta Thomas
Page iii
About The Author
Charles Whitfield is a physician who specializes in helping people who are
alcoholic, chemical dependent or co-dependent, and adult children of
troubled or dysfunctional families. He has also worked, and continues to
work on healing his own child within.
Dr. Charles Whitfield is in private practice in Atlanta and is a founding board
member of the National Association for Children of Alcoholics. He is on the
faculty of Rutgers Summer School of Advanced Alcohol Studies. He is the
author of the other books shown below, and lectures and does workshops
nationally. To be on his mailing list for these workshops in your area, please
send a self-addressed stamped envelope to: Box 420487, Atlanta, GA 30342,
[phone].
Charles Whitfield's other books include:
A Gift to Myself: a personal workbook and guide to healing the child within
Codependence: Healing the Human Condition
Boundaries and Relationships: Knowing, Protecting and Enjoying the Self
Memory and Abuse: Remembering and Healing the Wounds of Trauma
Alcoholism and Spirituality (preprint form only)
My Recovery Plan (three booklets on each of the stages of recovery)
Page iv
Acknowledgments
Special thanks to the following who read an early draft of this book and
offered constructive suggestions: Herb Gravitz, Julie Bowden, Vicki
Mermelstein, Rebecca Peres, Jerry Hunt, John Femino, Jeanne Harper,
Barbara Ensor, Lucy Robe, John Davis, Doug Hedrick, Mary Jackson, Barry
Tuchfeld, Bob Subby, and Anne Wilson Schaef.
Grateful acknowledgment is given to the following for permission to reprint:
Portia Nelson's "Autobiography in Five Short Chapters." Copyright Portia
Nelson, 1980, reprinted The Popular Library Edition "There's a Hole in my
Sidewalk," copyright 1977, permission in process. Arthur Deikman's quote
from his book The Observing Self, copyright 1972 by Beacon Press, Boston.
Alice Miller's quote from her book Thou Shalt Not Be Aware, copyright 1984
by Alice Miller, published by Farrar Straus Giroux, New York. Bruce
Fischer's illustration ''Cycle of Shame and Compulsive Behavior," copyright
Bruce Fischer, 1986. American Psychiatric Association's "Severity Rating of
Psychosocial Stressors," from DSM-III, copyright 1980 American
Psychiatric Association. In modified form, Al-Anon Family Groups
Questions for Adult Children of Alcoholics, Madison Sq. Station, New York,
1985. The poem "Please Hear What I'm Not Saying,'' copyright 1966 by
Charles C. Finn. Anonymous author's poem "Afraid of Night," by permission
of the author. Timmen Cermak's quotes from his book Diagnosing and
Treating Codependence, copyright 1986 by the Johnson Institute.
Dedication
This book is dedicated to the Child Within each of us.
Page v
Contents
1. Introduction 1
2. Background of the Concept of the Child Within 5
3. What is the Child Within 9
4. Stifling the Child Within 17
5. Parental Conditions that Tend to Stifle the Child Within 25
6. The Dynamics of Shame and Low Self-Esteem 43
7. The Role of Stress: The Post Traumatic Stress Disorder 55
8. How Can We Heal Our Child Within? 59
9. Beginning to Deal With Core Issues 67
10. Identifying and Experiencing Our Feelings 77
11. The Process of Grieving 85
12. Continuing to Grieve: Risking, Sharing and Telling Our Story 95
13. Transforming 107
14. Integrating 119
15. The Role of Spirituality 127
Appendix 142
References 144
Page vi
Tables And Figures
Tables
1. Some Characteristics of the Real Self and the Codependent 10
Self
2. A Hierarchy of Human Needs 18
3. Parental Conditions Associated with Dynamics of Adult 26
Children of Alcoholics and Other Dysfunctional Families
4. Some Definitions of Codependence 29
5. Some Terms for Mental, Emotional, and Spiritual Trauma That 40
May Be Experienced by Children and Adults
6. Negative Rules and Negative Messages Commonly Heard in 47
Alcoholic or Other Troubled Families
7. Severity Rating of Psychosocial Stressors 56
8. Levels of Awareness and Communication of Feelings, With 81
Guidelines for Sharing
9. Some Feelings and Their Opposites 84
10. Some Examples of Loss 88
11. Some Losses in Alcoholism, etc. 90
12. Answers, Approaches and Strategies often Used to Protect the 102
Parents