Healing in the Relational Paradigm: The Imago Relationship Therapy Casebook

295 Pages·1998·27.293 MB·English

by  Wade Luquet, Mo Therese Hannah

HEALING IN THE
RELATIONAL PARADIGM
HEALING IN THE
RELATIONAL PARADIGM
The Imago Relationship
Therapy Casebook
Edited by
Wade Luquet, M.S.W., and
Mo Therese Hannah, Ph.D.
~ ~~o~~~;n~~~up
New York London
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This edition published 2012 by Routledge:
Routledge Routledge
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HEALING IN THE RELATIONAL PARADIGM: The Imago Relationship Therapy Casebook
Copyright © 1998 Wade Luquet and Mo Hannah. All rights reserved.
Except as permitted under the United States Copyright Act of 1976, no part ofthis publication
may be reproduced or distributed in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval
system, without prior written permission of the publisher.
BRBR 9098
A CIP catalog record for this book is available from the British Library.
@ The paper in this publication meets the requirements of the ANSI Standard Z39.48-I 984 (Perma
nence of Paper)
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Healing in the relational paradigm: the imago relationship therapy
casebook / Wade Luquet, and Mo Therese Hannah, editors.
p. cm.
I. Marital psychotherapy-Case studies. I. Luquet, Wade.
II. Hannah, Mo Therese.
RC488.5.H415 1998
616.89' 156-DC21 97-45130
CIP
ISBN 0-87630-861-2
CONTENTS
CONTRIBUTORS Xl
PREFACE XV
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS xix
CHAPTER 1
THE RELATIONAL PARADIGM
Wade Luquet
Shifts in the Mental Health Paradigms 2
Finding Self in Connection 4
We Develop Within Connection 5
A Lid for Every Pot 11
The Paradigm Choice 13
Imago Relationship Therapy 13
A Paradigm of Relationality 15
Relational Mysticism 16
Bibliography 18
CHAPTER 2
COUPLES WOUNDED AT THE ATTACHMENT PHASE 19
Jill M. Fein
The Dilemma 19
Imago Relationship Therapy and Attachment 21
The Couple's Dynamics: Attachment in Therapy 26
Bibliography 33
Editors' Commentary 34
v
vi Contents
CHAPTER 3
THE EXPLORATORY-WOUNDED COUPLE 37
Wade Luquet and Betsy Chadwick
She's a Borderline; He's a Narcissist 38
Exploratory-Stage Wounds 40
A Myth So Valid: The Borderline-Narcissistic Relationship 43
Bill and Alice on the Less-Traveled Road 46
Two Steps Forward; One Step Back 50
Bill and Alice Revisited 52
Bibliography 52
Editors' Commentary 53
CHAPTER 4
THE RIGIDIDIFFUSE COUPLE 55
Gary Brainerd and Wade Luquet
Parenting That Wounds: Two Types of Wounding 56
Identifying the Identity-Wounded Couple 58
Detennining Identity Wounds 60
Wounds of Shame and Control-Minimizer Type 62
Don Sweats Over Change 65
Wounds of Invisibility and Invasion-Maximizer Type 67
The Power Struggle 69
Don and Bonnie's Big Move 69
The RigidlDiffuse Couple's Healing Process 71
Don and Bonnie: The Buried Treasure 73
Editors' Commentary 74
CHAPTERS
THERAPIST, HEAL THYSELF:
A PASSIVE/COMPETITIVE COUPLE 77
Mo Therese Hannah
Sam and Jessica's Early History 78
Enter the Power Struggle 81
The Passive/Competitive Dance 85
The First Dialogue 89
A Glimpse Ahead: Session Eight 92
Sam and Jessica: An Imago Formulation 93
Sam and Jessica: An Epilogue 95
Bibliography 96
Editors' Commentary 96
Contents vii
CHAPTER 6
IS IMAGO THERAPY CULTURALLY RELEVANT? CASE
STUDIES WITH AFRICAN·AMERICAN COUPLES 99
Helen Weiser and Cora Thompson
The Historical Journey 99
The Spiritual Journey 100
The Psychological Journey 101
AfricanlEuropean-American Healing: Where Do We Go from Here? 101
Bibliography 110
Editors' Commentary 112
CHAPTER 7
IMAGO THERAPY WITH HISPANIC COUPLES 113
Homer Bain
The Weaving of Five Prominent Themes 113
Marcos and Sylvia 115
Diana and George 119
Editors' Commentary 123
CHAPTER 8
LIVING IN THE "NOT KNOWING" 125
Maya Kollman
Working with Sexual-Preference Issues 130
Summary 131
Bibliography 131
Editors' Commentary 132
CHAPTER 9
MULTIPLE MIRRORING WITH LESBIAN AND GAY
COUPLES: FROM PEORIA TO p.T OWN 135
Sharon Kleinberg and Patricia Zorn
Roberta and Colleen 135
Non-Reflection or Distorted Reflections and Lesbian and Gay Couples 136
Therapeutic Implications 142
The Workshop: An Experience of Multiple Mirroring 143
After the Workshop: Return to a World of Distorted Reflections 146
Conclusion 147
Bibliography 148
Editors' Commentary 149
viii Contents
CHAPTER 10
WHEN A PARTNER HAS AIDS: THERAPY WITH
GAY/LESBIAN COUPLES 151
Patrick Vachon
Jeff and Andrew 153
Editors' Commentary 162
CHAPTER 11
GOING BEYOND AIDS: THERAPY WITH
HETEROSEXUAL COUPLES 165
Donna M. Ritz
Isabelle and Walt 165
An Imago-Systems Approach 168
Walt and Isabelle: Saying Good-bye 176
Bibliography 179
Editors' Commentary 180
CHAPTER 12
THE IMPACT OF ADULT ATTENTION-DEFICIT
DISORDER ON COUPLES 183
Kathleen Kelly and Marianne Luquet
The Couples Dialogue 184
What Is ADD? 185
Challenges Faced by the Non-ADD Partner 187
The Modified Couples Dialogue 188
Case Vignettes 192
Other Special Concerns 202
Conclusion 206
Bibliography 207
Organizations 209
Editors' Commentary 209
CHAPTER 13
ADDICTION, COUPLES, AND RECOVERY 213
Bruce A. Wood
John and Carol 213
Marcia and Tony: Active Addiction 215
Dialogue and 12-Step Meetings: A Link 218
Doreen and Michael: Early Recovery 219
Contents ix
Hal and Eileen: Long-Term Recovery 221
Conclusion 226
Bibliography 226
Editors' Commentary 227
CHAPTER14
IMAGO THERAPY WITH SEXUALLY
DYSFUNCTIONAL COUPLES 229
Bonnie Bernell
Joyce and Tom 229
Clinical Considerations in Working with Couples with Sexual
Dysfunction 235
Bibliography 238
Editors' Commentary 239
CHAPTER 15
VALIDATION AS A FACILITATOR OF FORGIVENESS
FOR ADULTERY 241
Bonnie Eaker Weil with Lisa Kelvin Tuttle
The Power of Validation 243
Obsessing, Dart Throwing, and Working Through the Rage 243
Case Vignettes 244
Commentary 255
Exercises 256
Bibliography 259
Editors' Commentary 259
CHAPTER 16
IMAGO RELATIONSHIP THERAPY AS A SPIRITUAL PATH 261
Dale Bailey
Mark and Andrea 262
Comments 267
Conclusion 268
Bibliography 271
Editors' Commentary 271
APPENDIX: KEY WORDS 273