Heading Out On Your Own: 31 Basic Life Skills in 31 Days

284 Pages·2013·4.76 MB·English

by  McKay

Cover Design by Eric Granata
Illustrations by Ted Slampyak
Photography by Darren Bush, Antonio Centeno, Brett Mckay and Matt Moore Typesetting by Screen Four
Solutions Copyright © 2013 by Brett H. McKay and Kate R. McKay All rights reserved. This book or any
portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written
permission of the publisher except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
First Printing, 2013
ISBN 978-0-9891903-0-5
Semper Virilis Publishing
PO Box 978
Jenks, OK 74037
www.sempervirilis.com
Table of Contents
Introduction
Day #1: Develop a Self-Reliant Mentality
Day #2: How to Do Laundry
Day #3: How to Open and Manage a Checking Account
Day #4: Keep a Regular Grooming and Hygiene Routine
Day #5: Create a Weekly Attack Plan
Day #6: How to Ace a Job Interview
Day #7: How to Make a Bed
Day #8: Living With Roommates
Day #9: Managing Your Online Reputation
Day #10: How to Tie the Half-Windsor Necktie Knot
Day #11: Understand Credit
Day #12: What to Do If You Get in a Car Accident
Day #13: Know How to Network
Day #14: Establish a Simple Cleaning Routine and Stick to It
Day #15: How to Change a Flat Tire
Day #16: Create a Budget
Day #17: Essential Etiquette for Young Men
Day #18: Renting Your First Apartment
Day #19: Fix a Running Toilet
Day #20: Maintaining Your Car
Day #21: Know Your Way Around a Kitchen
Day #22: How to Make Small Talk
Day #23: How to Iron a Dress Shirt
Day #24: How to Be a Savvy Consumer
Day #25: Establish an Exercise Routine
Day #26: 15 Maxims for Being a Reliable Man
Day #27: How to Shop for Groceries
Day #28: How to Jump Start a Car
Day #29: How to Iron Your Trousers
Day #30: How to Manage Stress
Day #31: A Place for Everything and Everything in Its Place
Conclusion
Introduction
Growing up, Dwight D. Eisenhower was responsible for many chores around the
house and for looking after his younger brothers. When his mother got sick and
was quarantined in a room in the house for several months, Ike was responsible
for cooking for his whole family — his mother would call directions to him from
her bed on how to make the meals (an experience that gave Ike a lifelong love of
cooking). When Eisenhower graduated from high school, he started working as
an engineer in a creamery’s ice plant. He worked 84 hours a week on the night
shift — from 6pm to 6am, 7 days a week, 52 weeks a year. Even with his
savings, he didn’t want his college education to put any burden on his parents, so
he decided to apply to the Naval Academy. He and a friend sent away for past
entrance examinations, and after working all night, Ike would sleep a few hours
and then go over to the gas lighting store where his friend was employed, and
together they would study every afternoon before Ike had to be back at the ice
plant. Eisenhower ended up at West Point and was able to hit the ground running
when he got there. That was 1915.
In 2001, I, Brett McKay, graduated from high school and after a summer
working at a paint shop, left home to become a freshman at the University of
Oklahoma. I had never done my own laundry. I had never cleaned my own
bathroom. I had never cooked for myself (unless plates of nachos count). I was a
typical middle-class kid from the burbs, and the first time I moved away from
home, I floundered. I finished the fall semester with a 2.6 GPA, and moved back
home to go to a local college in my hometown. I just didn’t know how to live on
my own successfully.
My parents, God bless ‘em, had tried to prepare me for leaving the nest, but they
were also willing to do a lot of things for me, and as a teenager lacking foresight,
I didn’t see a reason to look the gift horse in the mouth and learn how to do them
myself. I eventually learned a lot of the basic life skills I had once been lacking,
but I wish I had prepared myself a little better to become independent and self-
reliant once I had flown the coop.
Every fall, millions of young men around the country get ready to head off to
college and/or move out on their own. In an effort to help these young men avoid
the same hapless mistakes I made, and better navigate the waters of
independence, we decided to put together this book.
The goal is simple: to help young men heading out on their own for the first
time learn some of the very basic life skills they’ll need to succeed once
they’re living on their own. If that’s you, think of this book as a 31-day boot
camp on becoming a successful, well-adjusted adult. If you’ve already been
living on your own for a short time, or even for decades, but either never got
around to learning some of these life skills, or simply need to brush up on them,
this book is for you, too.
We’ve divided it into 31 chapters or “days.” Each day, you’ll learn a different
basic life skill that will help you become self-sufficient as you head out on your
own for the first time. We cover everything from shopping for groceries and
stocking your kitchen, to ironing your clothes, to properly dealing with stress,
and many more of the things that get taken for granted or just don’t apply when
living at home. When possible, try to perform, practice, or implement the skill
on the day that it’s covered. At the same time, keep in mind that some of these
skills will require more than a few hours to master; the traits having to do with
your mindset, in particular, will be things you’ll work on over a lifetime. No
matter the type of skill, you’ll make mistakes and fail along the way. Don’t get
discouraged – just keep working on them. If it makes you feel any better, I’ve
been living on my own for over ten years, and I’m still working on some of these
“basic” life skills!
Alright, you’ll be packing your bags and heading out the door before you know
it, so let’s get cracking on transforming you from dependent boy to self-
sufficient man.
Day #1: Develop a Self-Reliant Mentality
This first task is really more of a mindset than a skill set, but it’s a crucial
building block that will lay the foundation for the rest of the “harder,” more
practical skills we’ll be covering in this book.
It’s developing a self-reliant mentality.
Part of being a grown man is taking care of yourself and making your own
decisions. It isn’t until you’re on your own that you realize how much you relied
on adults to make your life run smoothly. From doing your laundry to calling the
doctor when you were sick, your parents likely did a lot of things for you.
While you might not be completely self-sufficient right when you move out
(many young people rely on their parents for varying degrees of financial
support well into their twenties), you can certainly be self-reliant in a number of
areas in your life. For example, you shouldn’t need your mom to remind you
about important appointments or your dad to bug you about taking your car in to
get its routine maintenance. You should be able to remember to do those things
yourself. A man with a self-reliant mentality doesn’t wait around for someone
else to take care of things that need to be taken care of. If he encounters a
problem, he takes the initiative and tries to figure out how to resolve it himself.
So how does a man develop a self-reliant mentality?
One of the best answers I have found to this question actually comes from a
great, albeit endearingly cheesy, 1950s educational film called “Developing Self-
Reliance.” It’s ten minutes long and definitely worth watching:
Watch at http://youtu.be/xGROmq1mX1o
In the film, a kind-hearted teacher lays out the four principles of building self-
reliance for one of his young students:
1. Assume responsibility. Start taking responsibility for your life and the things
in it. If you’ve relied on your mom to wake you up every morning so you
weren’t late to school, it’s time to make friends with the alarm clock on your
smartphone. Start using a calendar to keep track of your appointments and
important due dates. When you notice your apartment or dorm room is looking