Handbook of the Psychology of Self-Forgiveness

372 Pages·2017·5.222 MB·English

by  Griffin, Brandon J., Wenzel, Michael, Woodyatt, Lydia, Worthington, Everett L

Lydia Woodyatt 
Everett L. Worthington, Jr.
Michael Wenzel · Brandon J. Griffi n
Editors
Handbook of
the Psychology
of Self-
Forgiveness
Handbook of the Psychology of Self-Forgiveness
Lydia Woodyatt • Everett L. Worthington Jr.
Michael Wenzel • Brandon J. Griffin
Editors
Handbook of the Psychology
of Self-Forgiveness
Editors
Lydia Woodyatt Everett L. Worthington Jr.
School of Psychology Department of Psychology
Flinders University of South Australia Virginia Commonwealth University
Adelaide, SA, Australia Richmond, VA, USA
Michael Wenzel Brandon J. Griffin
School of Psychology San Francisco Veterans Affairs Medical Center
Flinders University of South Australia San Francisco, CA, USA
Adelaide, SA, Australia
ISBN 978-3-319-60572-2 ISBN 978-3-319-60573-9 (eBook)
DOI 10.1007/978-3-319-60573-9
Library of Congress Control Number: 2017953384
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Abstract
Self-forgiveness is one method by which people process self-condemnation in the
aftermath of perceived wrongdoing or failure. When people seek to resolve self-
condemnation, they attempt to reconcile conflicting identities—one who accepts
personal responsibility for violation of a socio-moral value and experiences conse-
quent emotions like guilt and shame, as well as one who seeks self-acceptance
through release of distressing emotions directed at the self. For this reason, the chal-
lenge of forgiving oneself is to both accept responsibility for a perceived violation
and accept oneself as a person of value. In this prologue we outline what to expect
in this volume on the psychology of self-forgiveness. We preview the chapters in
which expert researchers and clinicians offer their views on self-forgiveness, con-
ceptual models that guide research and practice in different areas, and agendas for
future research and practice. We identify ten themes to keep in mind when reading
this book. Overall, we hope that readers will appreciate the many roles of self-
forgiveness in personal well-being and interpersonal relationships.
v
Preface: What’s So Difficult About
Self-Forgiveness?
“It’s important to forgive.”
“Who do you have the most difficult time forgiving?”
“Myself.”
-Humans of New York, April 24, 2014.
Scientific interest in self-forgiveness arises from the lived experience of people who
find that sometimes the hardest person to forgive can be yourself. Throughout life
people find themselves in situations where they feel responsible for suffering or
unwanted outcomes received by either others or themselves. Parents face regret for
hurts suffered by their children, as a result of either their own actions or their failure
to prevent harm to their children. Couples develop relationship problems, have
affairs, fail to work on their marriage, and divorce or break up. Workers can commit
wrongdoing in the workplace and can wrong or hurt fellow workers, leading to
reduced productivity and poorer morale. The wars in Afghanistan and Iraq have
produced numerous veterans, many who have perpetrated, failed to prevent, or wit-
nessed events that violate their deeply held personal beliefs (i.e., moral injury). And
of course people commit criminal offences, engaging in violence and other illicit
acts, victimizing individuals or entire communities. In short, life is about regrets—
doing what we should not do and not doing what we should do. Only the con-
scienceless are immune.
The experience of having committed a wrong or not done what is right can result
in lingering feelings of condemnation and resentment toward the self. Often feel-
ings of shame, guilt, remorse, or regret persist even after a period of punishment by
others or oneself, or even after receiving forgiveness from others and feeling for-
given by whatever one considers to be sacred. In the short term, painful emotions
can be functional. Emotions like guilt and shame can help us navigate life, if they
are meaningfully interpreted as motivators to reconcile with those affected by our
behavior and to facilitate social belonging. However, when self-condemnation is
pervasive and chronic, people can experience diminished self-worth. They may
vii
viii Preface: What’s So Difficult About Self-Forgiveness?
punish themselves in an attempt to cope with offence-related experiences. They
deny themselves pleasure, isolate themselves from others, and sometimes harm
themselves. Unresolved guilt, shame, anger, and disappointment can also lead to
cycles of defensive avoidance or externalization of rage that cripples development
and functioning of healthy relationships. In contrast to strategies to cope with
wrongdoing by either accepting responsibility or prioritizing oneself over others,
forgiving oneself entails accepting responsibility for violation of a socio-moral
value while also accepting oneself as a person of value. In this way, self-forgiveness
enhances our sense of belonging and esteem when perceived wrongdoing or failure
threatens these essential psychological needs. Many bright scholars have reflected
for years about these issues.
What to Expect
In its entirety this volume represents a far-reaching and thorough investigation of
self-forgiveness from numerous psychological perspectives. It is not without puz-
zles, contradictions, and debates—nor should it be. In the pages that follow, we
count the raising of issues, unanswered questions, and unsolved mysteries as equally
important as providing a seminal foundation for sound empirical investigation and
clinical application of self-forgiveness. In this chapter we provide an overview by
tracing the development of the psychology of self-forgiveness through the stages of
empirical science as described by Rozin (2001).
First, we seek to define and describe self-forgiveness as a phenomenon.
Necessarily, we must accurately measure it. Measurements have paralleled the vari-
ous ways self-forgiveness has been defined and described. We assess the generaliz-
ability of self-forgiveness as well as what distinguishes it from alternative ways of
responding to wrongdoing. As will become apparent in Part I of this handbook,
which we devote to the understanding of self-forgiveness, much work has been done
in this regard. The continuing controversy and lingering questions about definitions,
measurement, and empirical associations should open readers’ minds to new areas
of investigation.
Second, after science defines and describes a phenomenon, it aims to understand
by what mechanisms and under what conditions a phenomenon manifests. What are
the antecedents of self-forgiveness? What effects does it produce? As sophistication
of understanding increases, scientists begin to identify what processes are involved
(i.e., mediators) and what conditions change (i.e., moderators) the way the phenom-
enon unfolds. Innovative and sophisticated work has sought to identify the causes
and consequences of self-forgiveness, which are reviewed in Part II of this volume.
Due to the complexity of self-forgiveness much more work is needed, and the con-
tributions in Part II provide avenues toward further advances in our understanding
of self-forgiveness as it relates to personality, physiological, psychological, rela-
tional, and religious/spiritual constructs.
Preface: What’s So Difficult About Self-Forgiveness? ix
Finally, besides having described the phenomenon of self-forgiveness, worked
out ways to examine and measure it soundly, and started to understand how it oper-
ates in relation to other constructs of interest, scientists also consider scientifically
informed interventions in the clinic and in society. Indeed, some clinicians have
already begun to apply what we know about self-forgiveness processes based on
their clinical experience. Others have begun to integrate their clinical and scientific
understandings in broader fields than the counseling room, often using basic or
action-oriented research to do so. Both types of approaches—clinically-initiated
and research-initiated (in clinical laboratory or community)—can lead to develop-
ing evidence-based interventions, which are then disseminated to the mental health
community after numerous efficacy and dismantling trials. Scholar-practitioners
offer several models of self-forgiveness intervention delivered via modalities such
as individual, group, and self-directed treatments in Part III and discuss broader
applications to specific clinical contexts and presenting issues in Part IV.
Overview of the Book
In this preface, we provide an overview of the handbook. We briefly walk you
through a part-by-part, and chapter-by-chapter summary of the topics that the schol-
ars in this book will review. We applaud the group of international scholars repre-
sented within these pages whose content expertise, methodological rigor, and
diverse theoretical perspectives comprise the foundation of the empirical literature
on the psychology of self-forgiveness.
Part I: Understanding Self-Forgiveness
In the first part of this book we provide a framework for understanding the need for
self-forgiveness. Here there are several questions a reader may want to consider.
What psychological processes (emotions, motivations, needs, cognition, etc.) give
rise to self-forgiveness? How might self-forgiveness be measured? Is self-forgiveness
beneficial and, if so, in what contexts? Are there conditions under which selfforgive-
ness might be problematic? These questions form the basis of the first phase of
empirical research to define and describe the phenomenon of self-forgiveness.
The editors begin by exploring the past and future of the science of self-forgive-
ness in the chapter “Orientation to the Psychology of Self-forgiveness.” You should
get a historical sense of how the psychology of self-forgiveness has developed from
this orienting chapter to provide a contextual background for your reading of the
rest of the book. Next, while much has been written on the topics of shame and guilt,
we present two contributions that broaden understanding of guilt and shame as they
relate to self-forgiveness. In the chapter “Understanding Shame and Guilt,” Leach
x Preface: What’s So Difficult About Self-Forgiveness?
reviews recent advances in our understanding of shame and guilt. In the chapter “An
Evolutionary Approach to Shame-Based Self-Criticism, Self-Forgiveness, and
Compassion,” Gilbert and Woodyatt explore the cultural, physiological, and func-
tional-evolutionary underpinnings of experiences of shame, guilt, and self-blame.
Fundamental psychological needs can become disrupted through feeling that one
has committed a transgression or failed to meet an important standard or expecta-
tion. In the chapter “Working Through Psychological Needs Following
Transgressions to Arrive at Self-Forgiveness,” Woodyatt, Wenzel, and de Vel-
Palumbo explore needs of agency and communion that arise when we perceive our-
selves to have done wrong, how these then can form barriers to self-forgiveness, and
pathways to address these needs. In the chapter “Repairing Meaning, Resolving
Rumination, and Moving toward Self-Forgiveness,” Graham, Morse, O’Donnell,
and Steger investigate the need for purpose and meaning. They address how cycles
of rumination can occur and can be repaired by self-forgiveness in the aftermath of
threat to meaning.
Part II: The Causes and Consequences of Self-Forgiveness
The second part of the handbook is devoted to discussions of how self-forgiveness
is associated with personality, physiological, psychological, relational, and reli-
gious/spiritual constructs, and under what conditions it is beneficial. In the chapter
“The Measurement of Dispositional Self-Forgiveness,” Strelan describes self-for-
giveness as a disposition and its association with personality and individual differ-
ences. Toussaint, Webb, and Hirsch adapt a stress-and-coping model to investigate
the association between self-forgiveness and physical health in the chapter “Self-
Forgiveness and Health: A Stress-and-Coping Model.” Massengale, Choe, and
Davis, in the chapter “Self-Forgiveness and Personal and Relational Well-Being,”
review the association of self-forgiveness and subjective well-being. Given the fre-
quency with which people condemn themselves for their actions in the context of
close and continual relationships, Pelucchi, Regalia, Paleari, and Fincham examine
processes of self-forgiveness within romantic dyads in the chapter “Self-Forgiveness
Within Couple Transgressions.” Exline, Wilt, Sauner, Harriott, and Saritoprak high-
light when transgressions and failures are perceived as desecration of one’s reli-
gious/spiritual values in the chapter “Self-Forgiveness and Religious/Spiritual
Struggles.” Finally, in the chapter “The Dark Side of Self-Forgiveness: Forgiving
the Self Can Impede Change for Ongoing, Harmful Behavior”, Wohl offers critical
insight into contexts where self-forgiveness may not be beneficial, with a discussion
of self-forgiveness and the process of behavioral change.
Preface: What’s So Difficult About Self-Forgiveness? xi
Part III: Applications of Self-forgiveness in Psychopathology
and Psychotherapy: Models and Modalities of Intervention
As the basic science of self-forgiveness proliferated, it eventually grew to support a
still limited but promising applied self-forgiveness science. Thus, in the third part of
this book, innovative clinical scholars discuss different models and modalities of
self-forgiveness intervention. Cornish and Wade take an individual therapy approach
in chapter “Self-Forgiveness in Individual Psychotherapy: Therapeutic Models and
Counseling Outcomes.” Worthington, Griffin, and Wade outline approaches to
group-based interventions to promote self-forgiveness in the chapter “Group
Intervention to Promote Self-Forgiveness.” Glenn, Moon, Paine, Wolff, and Sandage
discuss self-forgiveness intervention within couple and family therapy in the chap-
ter “Self-Forgiveness in Couple and Family Therapy.” And, in the chapter “Self-
Directed Intervention to Promote Self-Forgiveness,” Griffin, Worthington, Davis,
and Bell explore self-directed interventions designed to promote self-forgiveness as
an alternative to traditional modalities of treatment.
Part IV: Applications of Self-Forgiveness in Psychopathology
and Psychotherapy: Clinical Applications to Specific Domains
In Part IV of this volume, authors with diverse areas of expertise in a range of clini-
cal presentations discuss the application of self-forgiveness to a range of clinical
and subclinical psychopathologies. In the chapter “Self-Forgiveness and Military
Service: Equipping Warriors to Combat Moral Injury,” Griffin, Worthington, Danish,
Donovan, Lavelock, Shaler, Dees, Maguen, and Davis discuss the clinical applica-
tion of self-forgiveness in military health, especially for service members exposed
to morally salient traumatic stressors. DiBlasio explores why people with personal-
ity disorders may experience barriers to self-forgiveness and pathways to self-for-
giveness through understanding theorized neurobiological components of their
diagnosis in the chapter “Self-Forgiveness and Treating Personality Disorders.”
Hirsch, Webb, and Toussaint investigate self-forgiveness and condemnation in the
context of self-harm and suicidal behaviors in the chapter “Self-Forgiveness, Self-
Harm, and Suicidal Behavior: Understanding the Role of Forgiving the Self in the
Act of Hurting One’s Self.” In the chapter “Self-Forgiveness, Addiction, and
Recovery,” Webb, Hirsch, and Toussaint examine self-forgiveness in the context of
substance addiction and recovery, and Mosher, Hook, and Grubbs explore self-for-
giveness in the context of behavioral addiction to sex (i.e., hypersexual behavior) in
the chapter “Self-Forgiveness and Hypersexual Behavior.” Next, in the chapter
“Self-Forgiveness at Work: Finding Pathways to Renewal When Coping with
Failure or Perceived Transgressions,” Woodyatt and Cornish discuss industrial/
organizational application of self-forgiveness in the workplace, especially as it
relates to burnout. Within the context of religious/spiritual communities, Webb,