Grief in Children: A Handbook for Adults PDF
Preview Grief in Children: A Handbook for Adults
GRIEF IN CHILDREN bythesameauthor GriefinYoungChildren AHandbookforAdults AtleDyregrov ISBN9781843106500 of relatedinterest ChildrenAlsoGrieve TalkingaboutDeathandHealing LindaGoldman ISBN9781843108085 WhenaFamilyPetDies AGuidetoDealingwithChildren’sLoss JoAnnTuzeo-Jarolmen,Ph.D. ForewordbyLindaTintle ISBN9781843108368 StillHerewithMe TeenagersandChildrenonLosingaParent EditedbySuzanneSjöqvist TranslatedbyMargaretMyers ISBN9781843105015 TalkingwithChildrenandYoungPeopleaboutDeathandDying 2ndedition MaryTurner IllustratedbyBobThomas ISBN9781843104414 SomeoneVeryImportantHasJustDied ImmediateHelpforPeopleCaringforChildrenofAllAgesattheTimeofaClose Bereavement MaryTurner IllustratedbyElaineBailey ISBN9781843102953 WithoutYou–ChildrenandYoungPeopleGrowingUpwithLossandIts Effects TamarGranot ISBN9781843102977 UnderstandingChildren’sExperiencesofParentalBereavement JohnHolland ISBN9781843100164 GoodGrief1 ExploringFeelings,LossandDeathwithUnderElevens:2ndEdition BarbaraWardandAssociates ISBN9781853023248 Grandad’sAshes WalterSmith ISBN9781843105176 GRIEF IN CHILDREN S E C O N D E D I T I O N A HANDBOOK FOR ADULTS A T L E D Y R E G R O V FOREWORD BY PROFESSOR WILLIAM YULE JessicaKingsleyPublishers LondonandPhiladelphia FirstpublishedasSorghosBarn:EnHåndbokforVoksneinNorwayin1990 FirstpublishedinEnglishintheUnitedKingdomin1991 byJessicaKingsleyPublishers 116PentonvilleRoad LondonN19JB,UK and 400MarketStreet,Suite400 Philadelphia,PA19106,USA www.jkp.com Copyright©AtleDyregrov1991,2008 Forewordcopyright©WilliamYule2008 Allrightsreserved.Nopartofthispublicationmaybereproducedinanymaterialform (includingphotocopyingorstoringitinanymediumbyelectronicmeansandwhetherornot transientlyorincidentallytosomeotheruseofthispublication)withoutthewrittenpermission ofthecopyrightownerexceptinaccordancewiththeprovisionsoftheCopyright,Designs andPatentsAct1988orunderthetermsofalicenceissuedbytheCopyrightLicensing AgencyLtd,SaffronHouse,6–10KirbyStreet,London,EnglandEC1N8TS.Applicationsfor thecopyrightowner’swrittenpermissiontoreproduceanypartofthispublicationshouldbe addressedtothepublisher. Warning:Thedoingofanunauthorisedactinrelationtoacopyrightworkmayresultinboth acivilclaimfordamagesandcriminalprosecution. LibraryofCongressCataloginginPublicationData Dyregrov,Atle. Griefinchildren:ahandbookforadults/AtleDyregrov;forewordbyWilliamYule.--2nded. p.cm. Includesbibliographicalreferences. ISBN978-1-84310-612-8(pb:alk.paper) 1. Griefinchildren.2. Childrenanddeath. I. Title. BF723.G75D972008 155.9'37083--dc22 2007040139 BritishLibraryCataloguinginPublicationData ACIPcataloguerecordforthisbookisavailablefromtheBritishLibrary ISBN9781843106128 ISBNpdfeBook:9781846427817 PrintedandboundinGreatBritainby AthenaeumPress,Gateshead,TyneandWear Contents (cid:1) FOREWORD ................................. 9 INTRODUCTION .............................. 13 1. Children’sreactionstogrief andcrisis ........... 15 Children’sunderstandingof deathatdifferentages ... 15 Immediategrief reactionsinchildren ............. 22 Usualgrief reactionsamongchildren ............. 24 Otherpossiblegrief reactions ................... 40 Thedifferencebetweentraumaandgrief ........... 44 2. Differenttypesof death ...................... 47 Thedeathof aparent ......................... 47 Thedeathof asibling ......................... 55 Thedeathof agrandparent ..................... 59 Thedeathof afriend ......................... 60 Childrenandsuicide .......................... 62 Otherdeaths ............................... 69 3. Deathandcrisisatdifferentdevelopmentallevels ... 71 Preschoolchildren ........................... 71 School-agechildren .......................... 72 Adolescence ................................ 73 4. Whatmakesthegrief worse? .................. 77 Adults’handlingof thedeath ................... 77 Typeof death ............................... 77 Relationshipwiththedeadperson ............... 78 Support ................................... 79 Accesstoareplacementperson .................. 80 Fantasiesandcausalthinking ................... 80 Personalityandformerexperience ................ 81 5. Sexdifferencesinchildren’sgrief ............... 83 6. Careforchildreningrief andcrisis .............. 87 Counsellingtheparents ....................... 87 Presentingchildrenwiththenewsofadeath ....... 88 Children’sparticipationinrituals ................ 90 Properpreparation ........................... 92 Companyof atrustedadult ..................... 94 Concreteexpressionsof grief ................... 95 Viewingthebody ............................ 97 Conversationandplayingoutimpressions .......... 99 Participationinthefuneral ..................... 99 Cremation ................................. 100 7. Guidelinesfortakingcareof children’sneeds ...... 103 Openanddirectcommunication ................. 103 Deathfollowinganillness ...................... 107 Makingthelossreal .......................... 110 Givetimeforcognitivemastery .................. 113 Stimulateemotionalcoping ..................... 118 8. Handlingdeathintheplaygroupandatschool .... 125 Beingpreparedbeforeadeathoccurs ............. 125 Teachersasaresourcegroup .................... 127 Teachers’ownneeds .......................... 127 Terminalillnessof achild ...................... 130 Theneedof individualstudents ................. 132 Howtogivenotificationof adeathatschool ....... 137 ImmediateIntervention ........................ 139 Ritualsintheschool:thefuneral ................. 140 Classroommemorialandotherrituals ............. 143 Classroommeetingaboutthedeath ............... 146 Useof otherexpressivemeans ................... 157 Visitingthesceneof theevent ................... 159 Visitingthebereavedparents .................... 159 Contactbetweenschoolandhomefollowingadeath .. 160 Commemoratingthechild ..................... 161 Handlingdeathintheplaygroup ................ 162 9. Crisis-orgrief-therapyforchildren ............. 167 10. Bereavementgroupsforchildren ................ 175 11. Caringforoneself ........................... 179 Self-care ................................... 181 Peersupport ................................ 182 APPENDIX:GRIEFINCHILDREN–GUIDELINESFORCARE ... 183 RESOURCES ................................. 185 REFERENCES ................................. 189 INDEX ..................................... 199
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