Good and Angry

33 Pages·2016·1.09 MB·English

by  David Powlison

“Good and Angry by Powlison now takes its rightful place as my number one
recommendation on anger—not to mention it now stands as the fullest and
wisest Christian response to the sub-theme of self-hatred and self-anger I have
ever read.”
Tony Reinke, Desiring God.com; host of the Ask Pastor John podcast;
author of Newton on the Christian Life: To Live Is Christ
“If there is any counselor on the planet who is qualified to come alongside
you and point you to the truth about yourself and the Lord who loves you,
it is David Powlison. For decades now he’s been the primary voice of grace-
saturated counsel and he speaks from a position of deep wisdom and careful
exegesis. If you or someone you know has a problem with anger, this book is for
you. In other words, everyone should buy it.”
Elyse Fitzpatrick, Author of Counsel from the Cross
“Endorsing something that has occupied fifteen years of the ‘salt n’ light’ life of
Dr. David Powlison is a privilege. As an Anglican priest of an inner-city parish in
Charleston, SC; having struggled with and viewed anger ‘up-close-and-personal’
in our community, the ‘God tools’ and experiences within the pages of Good
and Angry are personally germane to me. And will enable me to teach others
how to biblically ‘reframe anger.’”
The Rev. Dr. Dallas H. Wilson, Jr., Vicar, St. John’s Chapel, Charleston,
South Carolina
“David Powlison does not treat anger as a disease to be cured or a vice to be
crushed. After all, the Bible depicts both Jesus and his heavenly Father as some-
times angry. Expect no comforting nostrums from these pages. Here, instead,
you will find biblically faithful probing and gospel hope that will make it pos-
sible to be good and angry.”
D. A. Carson, Research Professor of New Testament, Trinity Evangelical
School, Deerfield, IL; cofounder of The Gospel Coalition
“‘This book is vintage Powlison—balanced, insightful, and richly nuanced.
Powlison maps our anger (both good and bad) not on a sprinkling of Bible
verses but on the gospel and the breadth and depth of biblical narrative. This is
one of those books you not only read, but buy copies to pass to friends.”
Paul Miller, Director of seeJesus, author of A Loving Life
“It is a rare thing to find a fusion of biblically accurate and personally appli-
cable insight in much that is written about anger. Dr. David Powlison is a stun-
ning exception. He wields his written insight with all the wisdom and care with
which a shepherd carries a staff to direct and defend the sheep dearly loved by
the greatest Shepherd. His grasp of the Word of God and the heart of humanity
is startlingly clear, compelling, convicting, and comforting.”
Joseph Vincent Novenson, Senior Teaching Pastor, Lookout Mountain
Presbyterian Church, Lookout Mountain, TN
“Good and Angry is the best book I have reviewed related to the heart of anger.
David Powlison gets the nuances of the heart, and his careful and thorough un-
derstanding of anger from a biblical perspective is a significant contribution to
the biblical counseling movement. He shows us that with Christ as our example
and the gospel as our guide we can forgive, be motivated to mercy, and even
learn to love our enemies. I recommend this book to anyone who has ever been
angry, loves someone who struggles with anger, and especially to those who
don’t think they have a problem with anger. I pray this book is as helpful to you
as it has been to me.”
Garrett Higbee, Executive Director, Biblical Soul Care Ministries
“David Powlison helps us to think clearly about our anger, no matter which
form it tends to take. This book really is a one-size-fits-all, and the format is
like interactive counseling. Whether or not you are already aware of your anger
problem, you need this book. Good and Angry is an exceptional resource for
everyone—from parents and teachers to pastors and missionaries.”
Gloria Furman, Cross-cultural worker; author of The Pastor’s Wife and
Missional Motherhood
“The great thing about David Powlison’s counseling and writing is that he is
willing to get his hands dirty as he brings the gospel into the root problems of
our lives. His discussions not only deal with the realities of our struggles but the
realities of his own grappling for help—at a depth most of us are not capable or
daring enough to consider. Yet, as troubling as are the problems he tackles, so
refreshing and realistic are the gospel truths he unearths for us. He digs into his
own heart to help us know how to bring gospel restoration to ours.”
Bryan Chapell, Pastor of Grace Presbyterian Church, Peoria, IL
“This is the most complete, biblical, insightful, and practical book on anger that
I have ever read. The concepts are clearly explained with plenty of illustrations
from the biblical record as well as from our daily lives. It is obvious that the
author is quite experienced in this field, knowing the personal and interpersonal
conflicts that trigger the angry reactions in us. It is hard to think of a person that
would not be helped by this book.”
Miguel Núñez, Senior Pastor, International Baptist Church of Santo
Domingo; President, Wisdom and Integrity Ministries
“Good and Angry masterfully captures the way every last one of us needs our
anger redeemed and brims with practical wisdom to help that happen. This
book moves far beyond anger management, consistently reorienting us to God’s
redemptive purposes for anger against real wrongs, while unveiling the lies that
fuel destructive rage and cold-hearted grumbling. I have not read a more soul-
searching and refreshing book in a long time.”
J. Alasdair Groves, Director of Counseling, CCEF New England
“Good and Angry takes a comprehensive look at good anger and destructive
anger. I especially appreciate how David names the more covert forms of anger
such as indifference, withdrawal, and contempt as being just as sinful and de-
structive as the more aggressive anger of rage and bullying. I will encourage my
clients who are in destructive relationships to study this book to gain greater
self-awareness of what’s driving them when anger overwhelms them.”
Leslie Vernick, LCSW; relationship coach; speaker; author of The
Emotionally Destructive Marriage and The Emotionally Destructive
Relationship
“Far too often in Christian circles our approach to emotions tends toward sim-
plistic and negative. ‘Anger is bad. Stop it.’ That’s why I’m so grateful for David
Powlison’s robust, redemptive wisdom found in Good and Angry. David teaches
us how Christ’s gospel of grace emancipates our hearts so that even the messy
emotion of anger can fruitfully and beautifully reflect the holy love of Christ.”
Bob Kellemen, Biblical Counseling Chair at Crossroads Bible College;
author of Gospel-Centered Counseling: How Christ Changes Lives
“I struggle with sinful anger every day. This book is an excellent source of help
in understanding my problem, discerning my motives, examining the lies I tend
to believe, and diagnosing the deep roots of sin that compel me to explode in
rage or retreat in cold, hateful disdain. In his chapter on anger toward God,
Powlison invites us to a courageous honesty that puts us on the pathway to
repentance, the sweet and rugged landscape of every believer’s life.”
Barb Duguid, Author of Extravagant Grace
“I’ve had righteous anger before, I think, but not very often. Most of my anger
is more than a little bit unrighteous. In this wise and immensely practical book,
David Powlison brings a lifetime of skill at understanding the human heart to
help us deal with one of the world’s biggest problems: anger, and everything that
leads up to it.”
Philip Ryken, President, Wheaton College
“David Powlison helps us to see that anger is not a problem to be solved but
a natural human response to injustice, things we believe to be ‘not right.’ The
problem we face is how to respond to what is ‘not right’ without sinning. Pow-
lison helps us by encouraging us to admit our sinful anger problems, exposing
the roots of sinful anger, and teaching us how to ‘express the right kind of anger
in the right way.’ I needed this book! And if you’re anything like me, you need
it as well.”
Juan R. Sanchez, Senior Pastor, High Pointe Baptist Church, Austin, Texas
“Throughout the years, Powlison’s works have been such helpful resources to
turn to in pastoral ministry. Good and Angry proves to be no different as it
provides keen insight into a very prevalent human emotion. From layperson
to seasoned pastor, this book helps all those looking to investigate the root of
anger. While doing so, Powlison artfully and tenderly brings his readers into the
embrace of God’s mercy.”
Stephen T. Um, Senior Minister of Citylife Presbyterian Church, Boston, MA
“With characteristic humility and wisdom, David Powlison has produced a rich
resource on understanding anger. He moves us beyond our reflex to repress and
repent and shows us how our anger can increasingly reflect the loving purposes
of God in Christ. The ‘constructive displeasure of mercy’ is a phrase that I will
be meditating on for a long time.”
Winston Smith, Faculty, Christian Counseling and Educational
Foundation
“All of us struggle with the hot unpleasantness of emotions and desires on the
spectrum of anger. This problem frustrates us, saddens us, and often enslaves
us. We need a wise and gracious guide to point us to the mercy of God’s Word.
David Powlison is a man of peace and his words in this book breathe wisdom
and point to Christ’s own grace for change. Since anger is all of our problem,
we all need this book.”
Heath Lambert, Executive Director of the Association of Certified Biblical
Counselors and Associate Pastor at First Baptist Church Jacksonville, FL
“David Powlison is never simplistic. This biblically rich, psychologically insight-
ful analysis puts anger under the microscope and shows us just how compli-
cated it can be. It also shows us how to relate anger to the really big themes of
Scripture—grace, redemption, and the restoration of all things. Read this book
and see why anger matters far more than you ever thought it did. Read this
book and learn how to be both angry and good.”
Steve Midgley, Executive Director, Biblical Counselling UK
“David Powlison’s Good and Angry will serve as a seminal work in the arena
of biblical care. Providing the reader with a sound conceptual understanding
of anger while suggesting rich biblical insights for change, this book contains
truths that equip the believer to more effectively address the struggle of anger
in its varying forms. Powlison’s style and wisdom are always profound and re-
freshing. This book is no exception.”
Jeremy Lelek, President, Association of Biblical Counselors
“This is the opposite of a self-help book; it is a God-help book. Here we find
readable, pithy, and searching reflections on what God says about anger—and
its redemption by grace—in the Bible. Highlights include Powlison’s treatment
of the exemplary nature of God’s anger, the multitudinous ways in which our
anger falls short of God’s, and the confusion of Christian defenses of anger
against God. Again and again, this gentle sage of sanctification leads us back to
the one who overcame our anger, and his, at the cross.”
Eric L. Johnson, Lawrence and Charlotte Hoover Professor of Pastoral
Care, The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary
Good and Angry
Redeeming Anger, Irritation,
Complaining, and Bitterness
DAVID POWLISON
www.WnWeWw.NgEWrGoRwOWtTHhPpRErSSe.sCOsM.com
New Growth Press, Greensboro, NC 27404
Copyright © 2016 by David Powlison
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored
in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form by any means, electronic,
mechanical, photocopy, recording, or otherwise, without the prior permis-
sion of the publisher, except as provided by USA copyright law.
Unless otherwise indicated, Scripture quotations are taken from The Holy
Bible, English Standard Version.© Copyright © 2000; 2001 by Crossway
Bibles, a division of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights
reserved.
Scripture marked NASB taken from the NEW AMERICAN STAN-
DARD BIBLE®, Copyright © 1960,1962,1963,1968,1971,1972,1973,1
975,1977,1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.
Scripture marked NIV taken from THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTER-
NATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011
by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.
Cover Design: Faceout Books, faceoutstudio.com
Typesetting and eBook: Lisa Parnell, lparnell.com
ISBN 978-1-942572-97-8 (Print)
ISBN 978-1-942572-98-5 (eBook)
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Names: Powlison, David, 1949– author.
Title: Good and angry : redeeming anger, irritation, complaining, and
bitterness / David Powlison.
Description: Greensboro, NC : New Growth Press, 2016.
Identifiers: LCCN 2016012175 | ISBN 9781942572978 (print) |
ISBN 9781942572985 (ebook)
Subjects: LCSH: Anger—Religious aspects—Christianity.
Classification: LCC BV4627.A5 P693 2016 | DDC 241/.3—dc23
LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2016012175
Printed in the United States of America
23 22 21 20 19 18 17 16 1 2 3 4 5
I dedicate this book to Mark and Karen Teears,
Barbara Juliani, and New Growth Press. Thank you.
Through your persistence, humility, and helpfulness,
we have been able to bring this book to publication.
We have witnessed a miracle of grace that makes the angels rejoice!
Contents
Acknowledgments x
Introduction 1
SECTION 1: OUR EXPERIENCE 7
1. Angry People 8
2. Do You Have a Serious Problem with Anger? 23
3. How Does That Shoe Fit? 25
SECTION 2: WHAT IS ANGER? 35
4. “I’m Against That” 36
5. All of You Does Anger 46
6. Nature, Nurture . . . and Human Nature 61
7. The Constructive Displeasure of Mercy, Part 1: Patience and
Forgiveness 71
8. The Constructive Displeasure of Mercy, Part 2: Charity and
Constructive Conflict 88
9. Good and Angry? 104
10. The Best Anger, the Best Love 114
SECTION 3: HOW TO CHANGE 123
11. A Mirror on Your Anger 124
12. He Gives More Grace 135
13. Eight Questions: Taking Your Anger Apart to Put You Back
Together 149
SECTION 4: TACKLING THE HARD CASES 171
14. “I’ll Never Get Over It” 172
15. The Everyday Angers 189
16. Do You Ever Get Angry at Yourself? 202
17. Anger at God 219
A Final Word 233
Endnotes 244