Gluten-free in lizard lick : 100 gluten-free recipes for finger-licking food for your soul

252 Pages·2015·12.19 MB·English

by  Morgan

Just because you’re country-fried doesn’t mean you can’t eat gluten-
free without your neighbor talking smack about ya.
Contents
Introduction: Why I Left the Gluten
You Can’t Have It Your Way Right Away, but You Sure Can Love It
The Original 1-2-3-4 Cake
If the Kids Will Eat It, You Know You Are Doing Something Right
A Day in the Life of Eating Gluten-Free with Amy Shirley
The Whole Hog
The Cat’s Out of the Bag: Let’s Get Gluten-Free Licking in Lizard Lick,
North Carolina
The First Step to Licking the Gluten: My Gluten-Free Mix
My Gluten-Free Kitchen Rules
My Favorite Kitchen Gadgets
Cast-Iron Skillet TLC
Eating Out and Travel: A Gluten-Free Survivor’s Guide
Carolina Breakfasts
Amy’s Protein Shake
Kiss My Grits
Carolina Sausage Scramble
Lemon Poppy Seed Friendship Muffins
Countless Coconut Coffee Cake
Apple Something Fritters
Baking Powder Biscuits
Bone Daddy Biscuits ’n’ Gravy
The Chief’s Cake-Style Donuts
Repo Ron’s Kuntry Omelet
Cheesy Bacon ’n’ Corn Skillet Cakes
Donna D’s Honey’d Oat Bread
Big as Your Face Buttermilk Pancakes
Flatbed’s Flattering Peanut Butter and Jelly French Toast
Lizard Lick McMuffins
Banana Waffle Tower
Nana’s No-Nut Banana Bread
Seven-Up Biscuits
My Morning Glory Muffins
Southern Lunches
Carolina Pimiento Cheese Sandwiches
Barbeque Shrimp
Every-Time Chicken Salad
Corn Casserole
Grilled Cheddar Cheese Triangles
Alex’s Simple Chicken Pie
Freestylin’ Tacos
Amy’s Hot, I Mean Bra-Burning Hot, Wings
Cold Macaroni Salad
Anytime Coleslaw
The Power-Lifter Grilled Chicken Salad
Crab Cakes
Crawfish Salad Done Right
Gabe’s Sky-High Burger and Fries
Over-the-Sink BLT
Hush-up Spicy Hush Puppies
Jessie-Mae’s Meatball Po’ Boys
Healthy Rice Salad
Tuna Salad
My Way Potato Salad
Appetizers, Nibbles, and Late-Night Snacks
DJ Silver’s Spicy Fried Pickles
A Cheese Ball
Butter-Me-Up Deviled Eggs
My Midnight Omelet
Fancy Nancy’s Crab Dip
Amy’s Armadillo Eggs
Spinach Artichoke Dip Done Right
Devils on Horseback
Frozen Fruit Salad
Cookie Soup
Late-Night Twinkies
Puredee Pretzel Bites
Onion Dip
Quick Nachos
Microwave Queso
Lizard-Licking Flour Tortillas
Super Bowl Five-Layer Dip
String-Cheese Quesadillas
Tuna Melt
Broccoli Cheese Dip
Slice-and-Bake Chocolate Chip Cookies
Suppertime
Hominy Casserole
Old-Timey Celery Soup
Alexa’s Best Ever Meatloaf
Twice-Baked Spam-tatoes
Beef Tips with Rice
Tuna Tetrazzini Casserole
Cheddar Chicken and Rice Casserole
Mashed Potatoes
Chicken and Pea Pasta Casserole
Finger-Snappin’ Split Pea Soup
Gluten-Free Hamburger Helper
Veg-It-All Beef Soup
Amy’s Chex Crunchy Chicken Tenders
The Shirley Steamer
Bourbon Sweet Potato Surprise
Jalapeño Shrimp and Cilantro Rice
Crispy Corncob Corn Bread
Repo Ron’s Spareribs
Pecan-Crusted Pork Tenderloin
Spoon Bread
Three-Bean Salad
Desserts for the Sweet Tooth
Strawberry Cobbler
1920 Miss American Pie
Chess Pie
Banana Puddin’
Peanut Butter Pie
Cherries Jubilee
Grasshopper Pie
Gluten-Free Butterscotch Crimpets
Honey Dew Cookies
Root Beer Float
Lizard Limelight Atlantic Beach Pie
Maggie’s Red Velvet Cake
Mississippi Mud Bars
Orange Upside-Down Picnic Cake
Peachy Keen Slump
Pepsi Peanut Pie
Sun Tea Cake
Sunday Service Moonshine Pound Cake
The 1-2-3-4 Cake
Acknowledgments
List of Resources
Menu Ideas
Universal Conversion Chart
About the Author
Credits
Copyright
About the Publisher
Introduction
Why I Left the Gluten
If I was a betting woman, I would bet you second-guessed what you were seeing
when you saw this book just now. I bet you did a double take. I bet you said,
“Amy Shirley is gluten-free?” so loud the person next to you asked what you
were talking about. Most people don’t know I’m gluten-free, but you can butter
my butt and call me a gluten-free biscuit. I am as gluten-free as they come.
Around here in North Carolina, we just shell the corn down and you know,
tell it like it is. So I’m gonna tell you like it is. Before this book, before me going
away from the gluten, I was a gluten lover just like the rest of you all. I ate
gluten morning, noon, and night, except when I was training for my next power-
lifting competition. I ate gluten on the set of Lizard Lick Towing, and I ate it with
every slice of pizza and free sample they handed to me when I was running
errands at Costco with my kids. Let’s face it, y’all, we all go to Costco to make a
lunch of those samples.
Before I left the gluten, I was just living my Lizard Licking life the way
Ronnie and I always did, until one day everything started to change. I didn’t
know what it was, but all the sudden, I got sick. Real sick. So sick, I thought I
was going to die. My doctors told me I had all the symptoms for blood cancer
(leukemia): I lost twenty pounds in a little over a month, which is a big deal for
me because I don’t lose weight easy; I love to eat! I couldn’t go to the bathroom
to save my life (yes, number two), my hands swelled up, and my joints, from my
ankles to my shoulders, screamed in pain. And the night sweats? Oh, sweet lord
of mercy, those night sweats were the worst! I would sweat in the night so bad I
would wake up with gallons of water all over my body. Worst of all, though, I
started bruising like a peach. If Ronnie hugged me too hard, I’d have a bruise on
my arm the next day. It was absolutely the worst I’d ever felt in my life.
This went on for a couple of months, and then it got worse. No matter what,
after we’d eat dinner, even if it was something simple like my Over-the-Sink
BLT, I would spend the night doubled over in pain, sweating on my bathroom
floor. I’d never been in so much pain, even when I was in labor with my
children! Only the Lord knows how much pain I was in. I became desperate to
figure out what the heck was going on, so I started asking my doctor questions,
and lots of them. It was tough going.
I remember one night I was lying on my hardwood floor. I had taken my
shirt off because the inside of my body felt like it was on fire. My stomach was
bloated, so I looked like I was about three months pregnant. It was about 30
degrees outside and I had the door wide open just so that I could feel like I could
breathe. My husband was looking at me, asking, “Do you want me to call 911?”
And I said, “If I pass out in the next thirty seconds, call.”
I was so upset, I nearly moved into my doctor’s office just so we could get to
the bottom of what the deal was a little faster. My doctor, thank goodness, was
real patient with me, because even he couldn’t figure out what was happening.
So he drew my blood and tested it, and he drew more blood and tested that. He
went on like this until finally one day he said, “You know what, Amy? I’m
going to send you to a gastroenterologist because all the tests I’ve done on you
are coming back negative, so I think you might have some food allergies.”
So I followed my doctor’s orders and went to the gastro guy. He drew some
more blood from me. Then he looked me square in the eye and said, “I don’t
know how to tell you, so I’ll just say it. You are allergic to sulfides, gluten, and
cocoa, and you are sensitive to sugar.”
After my face melted off and I scooped it up off the floor, he told me my
body now hated gluten with a passion and attacks it every time I eat it, and it was
gonna keep on attacking until my day is done. So I had two options: Give up the
gluten and live without the pain, without the swelling, without the night sweats,
without the easy bruising, and at my normal healthy weight, or keep eating the
gluten and endure all the pain and suffering that goes with it. It was right then
and there that my days with the gluten were done. I knew I didn’t really have
any other choice, but I gotta say, I was upset because I ate so much gluten and I
really didn’t know what all it was in. Long story short, I was scared worse than a
deer in the headlights. So I took a big deep breath and held it in for a moment,
and as I held that breath, I sat with his words. By the time I let that breath out,
my gut agreed that there was a war going on inside me and all I wanted was for
it to stop.
“Now, Doc, let me see if I got this straight. Are you meaning to tell me that
what has made me this sick is food? Are you sure? I mean, I just don’t
understand how food could be doing this to me. It’s food I’ve eaten my whole
life. How in the heck is this possible?”
“Well, Amy, this is something we see a lot of these days, but most people
don’t want to hear that the food they are eating is killing them,” he said. Of