Getting to We: Negotiating Agreements for Highly Collaborative Relationships

234 Pages·2013·1.24 MB·English

by  Jeanette Nyden

GETTING TO WE
GETTING TO WE
Negotiating Agreements for Highly
Collaborative Relationships
Jeanette Nyden , Kate Vitasek , and
David Frydlinger
GETTING TO WE
Copyright © Jeanette Nyden, Kate Vitasek, and David Frydlinger, 2013.
All rights reserved.
First published in 2013 by
PALGRAVE MACMILLAN®
in the United States— a division of St. Martin’s Press LLC,
175 Fifth Avenue, New York, NY 10010.
Where this book is distributed in the UK, Europe and the rest of the world,
this is by Palgrave Macmillan, a division of Macmillan Publishers Limited,
registered in England, company number 785998, of Houndmills,
Basingstoke, Hampshire RG21 6XS.
Palgrave Macmillan is the global academic imprint of the above companies
and has companies and representatives throughout the world.
Palgrave® and Macmillan® are registered trademarks in the United States,
the United Kingdom, Europe and other countries.
ISBN 978-1-137-60283-1 ISBN 978-1-137-34415-1 (eBook)
DOI10.1057/9781137344151
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Nyden, Jeanette.
Getting to we : negotiating agreements for highly collaborative
relationships / Jeanette Nyden, Kate Vitasek, and David Frydlinger.
pages cm
Includes bibliographical references and index.
ISBN 978–1–137–29718–1 (alk. paper)
1. Negotiation in business. 2. Interpersonal relations. 3. Organizational
behavior. I. Vitasek, Kate. II. Frydlinger, David. III. Title.
HD58.6.N93 2013
658.4(cid:2)052—dc23 2013003785
A catalogue record of the book is available from the British Library.
Design by Newgen Imaging Systems (P) Ltd., Chennai, India.
First edition: August 2013
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
DEDICATION
We would like to dedicate this book to our partners, who selflessly give us their
time, support, and encouragement. Together, we live the principles embodied by
Getting to We each day.
Tim, Greg, and Caroline: we are in your debt and
appreciate all you have done for us.
Tim Lohraff (husband) and Isabella and Elizabeth Lohraff
Jeanette Nyden
Greg Picinich (husband) and Austin Picinich
Kate Vitasek
Caroline Frydlinger (wife) and Rebecka, Oskar and Klara
David Frydlinger
CONTENTS
List of Figures ix
Introduction 1
Chapter 1. What Are You G-e-t-t-i-n-g To? 7
SECTION I
STEP 1: ESTABLISH A FOUNDATION OF
TRUST, TRANSPARENCY, AND COMPATIBILITY
Chapter 2. Trust 25
Chapter 3. Transparency and Compatibility 41
SECTION II
A SHARED VISION AND COMMON GUIDING PRINCIPLES
Chapter 4. Step 2: Creating a Shared Vision 63
Chapter 5. Step 3: Establishing the Six Essential
Relationship Principles 79
SECTION III
STEP 4: NEGOTIATING AS WE
Chapter 6. Four Rules for Collaborative Negotiations 123
Chapter 7. WIIFWe Styles, Strategies, and Tactics 135
Chapter 8. Negotiating Money for Mutual Benefit 155
S ECTION IV
LIVING AS WE
Chapter 9. Step 5: Relationship Management 1 83
Chapter 10. The Power of We 207
Conclusion We Are All Winners 215
viii GETTING TO WE
Acknowledgments 219
Notes 223
Index 231
FIGURES
3.1 Comparison of P&G and Jones Lang LaSalle
corporate cultures 51
3.2 Value Map 5 4
3.3 Spider graphic: Low gaps 56
3.4 Spider graphic: High gaps 57
7.1 We and Me strategies 140
7.2 Initiating the relationship among multiple parties 142
7.3 Creating the team 144
8.1 Balanced exchange 163
8.2 Unbalanced exchange 1 64
8.3 Value exchanges 165
8.4 Rocky Flats Closure Project pricing model 176
9.1 Global relationship management 198
9.2 Escalation process 204
INTRODUCTION
I
n 2009 Kate Vitasek and Dr. Alex Miller, then associate dean of
the University of Tennessee’s Center for Executive Education, got
together over a beer. They wanted to unwind and discuss the find-
ings of a recent research project conducted by the university, which
had been funded by the United States Air Force. Vitasek was the lead
researcher.
The casual discussion between colleagues turned out to be a pro-
phetic conversation; you will realize why in a moment.
Vitasek and her fellow researchers were studying highly successful
performance-based, collaborative business relationships. They wanted
to know what made those relationships successful. The key finding was
that the parties involved had created symbiotic relationships where
“win-win” was not a glib marketing term. Rather, win-win thinking was
deeply embedded in the parties’ relationship. It influenced how they
worked together with shared goals to drive innovation and create value
that did not exist before.
The research was codified into five rules and their emergent
methodology was called Vested. If followed, Vested had the power to
help all companies design their own hyper-collaborative win-win rela-
tionships, just like the companies studied in the research. The team
realized early on that the methodology had the transformative poten-
tial of Lean and Six Sigma, other well-known business management
philosophies.
That evening, Vitasek and Dr. Miller lamented the reality that the
business world does not typically adopt or embrace academic research.
Instead, great research often remains trapped inside university walls
and bureaucracy.
They wondered, “Just how could the researchers get the business
world to adopt their emergent methodology and business model?”
2 GETTING TO WE
Vitasek and Miller had an epiphany. They already knew the answer
before they asked the question.
The answer was in their own research: take the emerging Vested
business model and apply the rules and principles to create their own
highly collaborative Vested relationships with thought leaders and
experts from the academic and business world. These experts could
help them take the Vested concept and institutionalize it across all
businesses, in all industries, all across the world.
That meeting was in 2009. The potential Vitasek and Miller glimpsed
that night is a reality.
The work behind this book is the product of one of those Vested
collaborations.
THE EVOLUTION OF GETTING TO WE
Vitasek shared the Vested mindset and an advance copy of the first
Vested book, Vested Outsourcing: Five Rules That Will Transform Outsourcing ,
with Jeanette Nyden.
Vitasek had known Nyden for several years and considered her a
trusted friend. A lawyer by trade, Nyden had created a successful nego-
tiation training company. She agreed to provide feedback to Vitasek
about the book.
Nyden read the book and immediately saw a tremendous opportu-
nity that also had the potential to solve a systemic flaw in how compa-
nies negotiated. To make the Vested mindset and the methodology truly
transformative, business people would have to adopt a different way of
negotiating. The atmosphere of gamesmanship present in most com-
mercial negotiations needed replacement, but with what?
As a young trial attorney, Nyden saw firsthand the impact of good
intentions gone wrong. She had grown weary and frustrated watching
clients spend hundreds of thousands of dollars and countless hours
fighting over what was “fair.” She transitioned her practice and began
helping companies negotiate fair and balanced deals that would not end
up in court.
Nyden realized that a complete paradigm shift was needed in nego-
tiation. From teaching strategies and tactics for negotiating a specific
deal to the specifics of how to create a powerful relationship that could