Getting in Touch with Your Inner Bitch, 3E

209 Pages·2006·2.1 MB·English

by  Hilts

Elizabeth Hilts
Your Inner Bitch is that
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integral, powerful part of you that
Getting
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is going unrecognized. T
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I
N
Touch
(cid:1) Haveyoueversaid“yes”whenyoumeant“no”? G in
(cid:1) Haveyoueverwantedtogivesomeoneapieceofyourmind I
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andeatenapieceofcake(oreventhewholecake)instead?
(cid:1) Haveyoueverapologizedwhenitwasn'tyourfault? T
O with your
IInnnneerr
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If you’re nodding in agreement at this point, you may be
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suffering from Toxic Niceness, a condition that will only be
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stopped by getting in touch with your Inner Bitch, your own
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personal antidote to the torrent of absurd requests, ridiculous
I
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expectationsandoutrageousdemandsweallfaceeveryday. H
Y BBii cchh
BeingintouchwithyourInnerBitchmeansneverhavingtosay, O
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“I don’t know what came over me.”The Inner Bitch is the part of R
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ourselves that is smart, confident, dignified, knows what she N
wants and does not settle for less.The Inner Bitch calls it as she N
seesitandisn'tafraidtospeakhermind. E
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Your Inner Bitch awaits you... B
Don't pretend
I
T
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you don't know what
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Humor $10.95U.S.
I'm talking about...
ISBN:978-1-4022-0771-6
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Getting
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ELIZABETH HILTS
Copyright©2006byElizabethHilts
Coverandinternaldesign©2006bySourcebooks,Inc.
Coverphoto©StephaniePiro
Cartoons©NicoleHollander,MarianHenley,MaryLawtonandStephaniePiro
SourcebooksandthecolophonareregisteredtrademarksofSourcebooks,Inc.
Allrightsreserved.Nopartofthisbookmaybereproducedinanyformorby
any electronic or mechanical means including information storage and
retrievalsystems—exceptinthecaseofbriefquotationsembodiedincritical
articles or reviews—without permission in writing from its publisher,
Sourcebooks,Inc.
PublishedbySourcebooksHysteria,animprintofSourcebooks,Inc.
P.O.Box4410,Naperville,Illinois60567–4410
[phone]
Fax:[phone]
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ISBN-13:978-1-4022-07952
ISBN-10:1-4022-07956
LibraryofCongressCataloging-in-PublicationData
Hilts,Elizabeth.
Gettingintouchwithyourinnerbitch/byElizabethHilts.--3rd
ed.
p.cm.
1. Women--Humor. I.Title.
PrintedandboundinUnitedStates
VP109876543
Dedication
This book is for my daughter, Shannon Hillory Hector,
whose insight and assistance were essential elements
initscompletion,mygranddaughter,CassidyElizabeth
Singleton, who is continuing the fine family tradition
of being a strong female, my husband, Neil Swanson,
for being my safe harbor and for making me laugh
more (and harder) than any other human being, and
for my father, Robert Gifford Hilts, whom I still miss
every day.

Acknowledgments
I would like to offer special thanks to the women who
keep me honest, provide the support I need to contin-
ue discovering the power of my Inner Bitch, and make
me laugh out loud: Dawn Collins, Laura Fedele, Aida
Little, Elaine Osowski, Ingrida Perri, and Felicia
Moreland Robinson.
Thank you to all the people who played a part in
making this book happen in the first place: Jim
Motavalli(whobelievedinmelongbeforeIbelievedin
myself); Mary Ann Masarech; Judith Gardner; Karen
Drena; Piper Machette; Richard Howe; my fairy god-
mother, Jocelyn K. Moreland; David Robinson; Jeff
Yoder; and Mace Norwood, who was right all those
years ago.
My agent, Tom Connor, provided invaluable guid-
anceandclarityintheprocessoffindingahomeforthe
Inner Bitch. It continues to be a pleasure to share this
adventure with him.
Thanks to Sarah Waite and Lysbeth Guillorn for
research and editing the first edition and to Susie
Benton for her assistance with this version; to the
incomparableNicoleHollanderforcreatingtheoriginal
Getting in Touch with Your Inner Bitch
cover and, along with Marian Henley and Mary
Lawton, the cartoons that still illustrate the absurdities
of women’s everyday lives.
Very special thanks to Deborah Werksman for her
insistence on bringing the Inner Bitch to the world.
And a big shout out to all the women and men who
“get” the Inner Bitch.
Contents
Introduction:
StoodUp;WisedUp .................................1
ChapterOne:
ToxicNiceness ....................................19
ChapterTwo:
MeetYourInnerBitch ...............................35
ChapterThree:
TheP.R.Problem ..................................51
ChapterFour:
CanWeTalk! ......................................69
ChapterFive:
TheBitchInBed ...................................79
ChapterSix:
GloriousFood .....................................97
ChapterSeven:
DailyLife ........................................111
ChapterEight:
PersonalPolitics ..................................123
ChapterNine:
WorkForce ......................................139
ChapterTen:
CloseEncounters .................................161
AppendixA:
TheBitchinEverywoman ...........................169
AppendixB:
…AndtheMenWhoLoveHer .......................173
AppendixC:
The10-MinuteBitch ...............................185
AbouttheAuthor .................................195