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Dear Read.err We helr at the Love Bunnl' Laboratorles increaslngly facinated with pesudo- Uecame sociologicaL sca;c-..er stu'lles (corgh)' w" have found them an effective smoka screen for d.uping sa:cr:a1Iy charged' lnd'lvldr:als into ln ."ifon. wi ftrst placcd Jason Read an isolation Cha,nber for the better part of 1992. The result was the devastatlng Bf??I s'"ii-tcclrnoFix #2. So pleasecl were we with ffiG-p#i-""t that we began immed'iately to seaicf, for the next sclantiflc excuse to subjectgatc tha lndivid"ual' It was closc otsL.ralton and associatlon with Agent Lanzarettar s sorjourng into thc vast land scape of personai corrcspondencc, that Lead ',r" io devllop the f ollorling experlment' ' ' We would pIa-e a provocative classified' in a prominent punt fanzine imploring writtan ,"Ipon""". TLe clincher would bc that the narni attached would be d'istinctly female' The classified ran as follows : "Lone1y 18 year old female into violcnt beautyt ctrats as freed.om, glotesquc dark nite ifishti"s ana sut;ection thm poetry' Write a- n-dJ itne"1" I me Your dreams. Diane.{'r-rthis the i'Iov. publication "'B-" classlfled, the mail room staff feels tha McClard Anguish of being' swamped with more mail than is humanly possible to respond. to intelligently. lJhat we have d.one heir is to collect some of the interesting responsas we have gottent and printing them in their entirety. We were going to print everyoner s name and' ad.dress who wrote in at the end of this zine, but we were talked" out of d.oing this by people psychically bigger than us. If you enjoy prank calls yet get Phone pissed. about a Project like this, then you have rnissed the Point. Yet if you only laugh at the d.esperate absurd'ism then you too have nlssed the point. Hail Erls, Herbert Melvin S.J. d.irector Love Bunnl Labs Rev. John Xe::rces D.D.S. criminally insane publishing. This magazine is a treasury of contemporary ideas and infor- mation. It is traditional in its consistent quality from one issue to the next. It is modern in its treatment of an infinite variety of subjects. It is influential in its continuous introduction of new thoughts, stvles and trends. Magazines make excellent compan- ions for the u,orran n'ith an open mind. They broaden scope. They clarify thought. Seek then.r out. You wiil be richly rewarded. Tlrellstttrs ocr 20/92 I dreamed. one night of a garden, not unlike a forrest where everyone was naked' Such a feeling of peace. The women were resp-cted- for the unique beauty of "thJeri rb"lao,o d.' the menstrual blood', the bright red on the stcin, on the d'irt' Everything was halrnonY. The menllearned they too could bleed' through hitting one another w/ttrelr fistst irr" ,6*"n could only bleed once a month' the men everyday. The women were no longer ad.mired and theY f e11. I also dreamed of a lion - he was going I to eat me. I was so scarecl' And was itig}rt"n"d. So f pulled' my sister out from rii behind me where she was cowering and' I told' t* the lion - EAT IflR INSTEAD' }J And he d,id.. Bad d.reams. Can I know Your dreams too Diane? =- =- DIANE, They hava nailatl me to thc crosc oak"' thls troce bcan stalnctl crLrngon wlth blood of trlckery ancl clccclt.. rarl llhholy eupport that whan I walk I drag lt bchlnd IDG. I 4'm thc elactric nsssr.ah, a dccender locked' away in thls dark roomr thls church of atona, fleshlcse, soul-Iess, ancl stLcnt... many tincs ny lipo havc chillad-upon its walis, ny feet frozcn upon ita floofa... be da,mnad, frigld ed.ificc...in thia dark centr.rry they have mairned and. lmprisoned a di.vine kin8. The cementary angels watch ne..the king of maggots..they sqitm in my chest..they sqi:m-in ny soul..my eoul is eIay..thc soul oi mankind..a diet of woms. Naile, woodt flesh alL maks up my crotsso. a god of man a king of naggots. With thesa thoughts running thn- my headl ha,unting my soul, strlpping my fIash..I mn the blad'e across my palm antl feel the d.elicious stin$r rGVoR ntw the blood. flows from my hand ae I press them to the angelrs face, and wlth red tears clripping from the angelrs cheeksr I laugh and.- wear ny crot n. . the king of maggots. .srld-' the angels crle Diane, f feel o tohat violent beauty and f screan out to yor. Pleasa write..god ls thc naiLs rattLing ln nY hanil... Diane. Ihe Lonely 18 Year 01d, I spotted. your classlfied in IGn and. saw your from the C1evo area too. Thatrs crazy! Have I ever met you or seen you somewhere? Irm in the area a lot. Maybe yourve seen me somewhere and said, ?rWow! thats the hottest guy Irve ever seen." 0r maybe ffve seen you and. said., ttHey, that. girl is incredible rl ! Itm a strS-ed.ge vegeterian bro. f d.onrt real1y know what you are. I,Iy hand.writting is rea11y messy cause f rm tired.. Sorry! You said. to teII you about my d.reams. Just last night, f d.reamt f was in the mall look- ing for this girl and these kids wouldnft teII me where she was so f broke their arms. Then f woke up. What kinda music are you into? It did.nrt say in the thingy. God, I bet Ifve seen you sonewhere, sometlme! Write back and feed. me some info on you! frll be waiting! Diancp Regard.lng your ad. Ln MRR... *It was August 1992. Severe thund.arsto:ms stcanrrolled. the area. I was d.rlving clown Lee Road. and turned. on to llayfie1d. Trees wero uprootad, traffic & street llghts werc out & robotic motorLsta knew not what to do, It was total chaos. f relished. every moment of lt. Natr:re drorrc a stake tirm conformlty. I approved vith laughter. xylet 21, sJ.ngle, white guy, living alone ln an apartment, got long hairr skinny body and bralns. A non-conformist, passionate loner bastarrl. Into: RoJ.linsr Gwar, NIN, . Flanming 1ips, Beasties and some old.er shlt An agnostic, clmic, not quick to tnrst some one, lover of expression (via muslc, wriiing, and. sex). Cigarette/alchot dabbler non-iLLega)- d.mg user. Work as a graphic d.eslgner. Starting my own satlre/hr-uoor shlt zine. *Va^mpires intrique m@, Ird love to neet a stunning vapiress. f can lmagina being seduced by her. She wraps her a:me around ury bod.y 1lke a vlse. Her razor sharp nails scrape thnr my shlrt, nrnning up and. down my back, d"igging deeper and d.eeper, longer and. longer streaks. Her teeth d.riII thnr my ttalmost finally neck and we becoma onerr. We become tronerr when I plunge ny penis into her wa::m, fuzzy, pink vagina. *I feel like a mutant sometimes. Everybody is so caught up trying to conform, family values conse:rrative bullshlt or E liberal br,llshlt. i(y existence is sustained on individuality. f do not want to besnatched' into the mainstream. Yet, the d.lchotomy is that a certain d.egree of conforrnlty ls nec- essary such as a job or you end up skid' row bun. I cpnfo:m in one asPect, but I also learned to rely on my ind.ividuality to work verry subtely thm the system. People cannot believe I listen to the rm:slc I do or that Itm not married or that f d'onrt belleve in god. Theytre so fucking iealous because they are slaves to themselves. f am liberated.. As I get older, my mind eontinues to open - and not close as is in most people. Dangerous objects were lefi about in the tn"t it would do itself an injury' nopJ Oct 21, 1992 Greetlngs Diana, f arr ---. f am eeventeen but agc ls inconsequential. I a.m a rnodel but thats also inconsequential. What matters ls this : f wish to write to you if you wish to writa to mc. IrJe can dlscuss anything in and out of tha world..owo m&y become friends. Subjectivlty ls a fortet of mino - you too? My d.reans are strangc in a world whera reason is unreasonable. What to think? What ind eed ? Itts your turn if lts meant to be. ( ttris note was accompainecl by a flower pedal and a single hair which I lost to the Hoover) - ,l L; l.' '. l ]i;: Dear Diane, f am writing this in reply to a classlfied. f saw in some und.erground magazine which a friend. of mine had. He had decieded. to write E ome supposed. varnpire he found in the classifieds. I believe he told me it (she) Ilved in New Orleansr assr:ming that f knew ALL vampires chose to live in New Or1eans. Ifust be a vampirehead. to understand I guess. Wel1, he thought it might be interst- ing to write someone eccentrically appeal- ling, coming from a punk-zine classified.t and so did I. i{e111 f rm writing back. Wel1rmp4 nanre is -- and irm rather curious if yourll write back and d.iscuss odd. psychologieal tendencies, various distortions of norrnalcy, r! and dork expressions of the hurnan soul. If 'rl, not, your favorite bands, books, moviee, a and. member of the Manson Family. tr'rom your if, ad I assume you write. If f assume correct- rf1 1y send me depressing free verse or whatever ,€; frd. send something of mine if I hadnr t burned it all. t{rite back if you are dork-hunored, bitter, and enjoy expressing 1t or write back even if not. '.,\i