From Coach to Awakener Robert Dilts From Coach to Awakener Cooching is the process of helping people and teams to perfonn at the peak of their abilities. It involves drawing out people's strengths, helping them to bypass personal barriers and limits in order to achieve their personal bests, and facilitating them to function more effectively as members of a team. Historically, coaching has been focused toward achieving improvement with respect to a specific behavioral perfonnance. This involves promoting the development of that person's behavioral competence through careful observation and feedback. In recent years, the notion of coaching has taken on a more generalized and expanded meaning. Personal coaching, executive coaching and life coaching provide support on a number of different levels: behaviors, capabilities, beliefs, values, identity and even spiritual. These new and more comprehen sive fonns of coaching--executive coaching and life coaching--<::an be referred to as capital "C" Coaching. Large "C" Coaching involves helping people effectively achieve outcomes on a range of levels. We guide people to learn about new environments, for instance; coach them to improve spe cific behavioral competencies; leach them new cognitive capabilities; mentor empowering beliefs and values; sponsor growth at the identity level; and awaken people's awareness of the larger system or "field." This book defines the types of contexts and situations which require the capital "C" Coach to focus on one of these roles--<::aretaker, guide, coach, teacher, mentor, sponsor, awakener- and provides a specific toolbox for each role. In other words, it provides a comprehensive tool set to be used by an effective coach to manage the entire scope of large "C" Coaching activities from caretaking to awakening. ISBN 0-916990-45-1 9 S9 From Coach to Awakener by Robert Dilts Meta Publications PO. Box 1910 Capitola, California 95010 (831) 464-0254 FAX (831) 464-0517 E-Mail: [email protected] Homepage: http://www.meta-publications.com © Copyright 2003 by Meta Publications. Printed in the United States of America. All rights reserved. This hook or parts thereof may not be reproduced in any form without written permission of the Publisher. Library of Congress Card Number 2003104426 I.S.B.N. 0-916990-45-1 II Contents Dedication IX Acknowledgments X Preface XI Introduction xiii Origins of Coaching XIII The Coaching Revolution XIV Large "C" and Small "c" Coaching XVI NLP and Coaching XVlI The Coaching-Modeling Loop XVII Levels of Learning and Change in Individuals and Organizations XIX Levels of Support for Learning and Change -A Road Map for Large "C" Coaching XXIII CHAPTER 1 CARETAKING AND GUIDING 1 Caretaking and Guiding 3 Environmental Factors 3 Caretaking 4 Guiding 6 Assumptions and Style of the Caretaker or Guide 7 Caretaker 'Ibolbox: "Psychogeography" 9 Using Psychogeography in Groups and Teams 10 Using Psychogeography to Facilitate Different Types of Group Processes 14 Psychogeography as a Key Aspect of Coaching and "Caretaking" 17 Caretaker 'Ibolbox: Guardian Angel 18 Guardian Angel Checklist 19 Guide 'Ibolbox: Mapping, Metaphor and Intervision 20 Mapping 20 Metaphor and Analogy 21 Intervision 22 Intervision Mapping Process 23 III Guide 'lbolbox: Self-Mapping and Causal Loops 26 Causal Loops 26 Making a Causal Loop Map 27 ~mm~ ~ CHAPTER 2 COACHING 33 Coaching 35 Behaviors 35 Behavioral Coaching 36 Coaching 'lbolbox: Establishing Goals 37 Defining Goals 38 Goal Setting Questions 41 Coaching 'lbolbox: Well-Formed Outcomes 43 Well-Formed Outcome Worksheet 47 Parable of the Porpoise 48 Coaching Principles Illustrated by the Parable of the Porpoise 50 Relevance of the Parable of the Porpoise to Coaching 52 Applying the Parable of the Porpoise 53 Coaching 'lbolbox: Feedback and Stretching 57 Coaching 'lbolbox: Contrastive Analysis and "Mapping Across" 59 Contrastive Analysis Format 61 Body Posture and Performance 62 Gestures and Performance 63 Coaching 'lbolbox: Anchoring 64 Anchoring Your Inner Resources 65 Summary 66 CHAPTER 3 TEACHING 67 Teaching 69 Developing Capabilities 69 Teaching and the "Inner Game" of Performance 70 Representational Channels 73 Representational Channels and Learning Styles 74 IV Teaching Toolbox: Learning Style Assessment Questions 76 Applying the Results of the Learning Style Assessment Questions 79 Teaching Toolbox: Visualizing Success and "Mental Rehearsal" 82 Teaching Toolbox: State Management 84 The Circle of Excellence 86 Modeling Capabilities 89 The T.O.T.E.: Minimum Requirements for Modeling Effective Skills and Behaviors 89 Teaching Toolbox: T.O.T.E. Modeling Questions 91 Teaching Toolbox: Mapping Across Effective T.O.T.E.s 93 Teaching Toolbox: Cooperative Learning 96 Cooperative Learning Process 96 Teaching Toolbox: Focusing on Feedback Instead of Failure 98 Basic Perceptual Positions in Communication and Relationships 99 Second Position 103 Teaching Toolbox: Building a "Second Position" Perspective 105 Teaching Toolbox: Meta Mapping 108 Basic Meta Map Format 110 Teaching Toolbox: Imagineering 112 Imagineering Coaching Format 115 Summary 123 CHAPTER 4 MENTORING 125 Mentoring 127 Values 128 Values and Beliefs 129 The Power of Beliefs 131 Mentoring Values and Beliefs 133 Role Modeling 135 v Mentoring 'lbolbox: Establishing Inner Mentors 137 Mentoring 'lbolbox: Values Audit 139 Values Audit Worksheet 140 Aligning Values with Vision and Actions 143 Mentoring 'lbolbox: Creating Alignment for Change 145 Mentoring 'lbolbox: Putting Values Into Action 146 Mentoring 'lbolbox: Values Planning 148 Mentoring Toolbox: Establishing Practices 149 Belief Systems and Change 151 Mentoring 'lbolbox: Belief Assessment 154 Belief Assessment Worksheet 156 Mentoring Toolbox: Using Inner Mentors to Build Confidence and Strengthen Belief 158 Mentoring Toolbox: The "As If' Frame 160 Reframing 162 One-Word Reframing 166 Mentoring Toolbox: Applying One-Word Reframes 167 Mentoring Toolbox: Values Bridging 169 Reframing Critics and Criticism 171 Getting Positive Statements of Positive Intentions 172 Thrning Criticisms Into Questions 174 Mentoring 'lbolbox: Helping Critics to Be Advisors 175 Summary 177 CHAPTER 5 SPONSORSffiP 179 Sponsorship 181 Identity 183 The Style and Beliefs of a Sponsor 184 Sponsorship Messages 185 Non-Sponsorship and Negative Sponsorship 187 An Example of Sponsorship 191 Skills of Sponsorship 194 Sponsorship Toolbox: Finding the Source of Your Resources 198 Sponsorship Toolbox: Active Centering 204 Sponsorship 'lbolbox: Listening Partnerships 205 VI Sponsorship Toolbox: "I See" and "I Sense" Exercise 208 The Hero's Journey 209 Sponsorship Toolbox: Mapping the Hero's Journey 212 Sponsorship Toolbox: Beginning the Hero's Journey 214 Archetypic Energies 217 Sponsorship Toolbox: Co-Sponsoring Archetypic Energies 218 Sponsorship Toolbox: Proper Naming 220 Sponsorship Toolbox: Sponsoring a Potential 223 Sponsorship Toolbox: Group Sponsorship Format 227 Sponsorship Tholbox: Recovering Lost Sponsors 230 Summary 232 CHAPTER 6 AWAKENING 237 Awakening 239 "Spirit" and "Field" 240 Coach as an Awakener 241 Not Knowing 244 Nerk-Nerk 245 Uptime 247 Awakener's Tholbox: Creating an "Uptime" Anchor 247 Getting Access to the Unconscious 249 Awakener's Tholbox: Active Dreaming 252 Active Dreaming Exercise 253 Awakener's Tholbox: Awakening to Freedom 254 Awakening to Freedom Format 255 Double Binds 258 Awakener's Tholbox: Transcending Double Binds 261 Awakener's Toolbox: Creating Positive Double Binds 263 Bateson's Levels of Learning and Change 266 Learning IV 271 Overview of the Four Levels of Learning 273 Survival Strategies 275 Awakener's Toolbox: Updating Survival Strategies through Bateson's Levels of Learning 277 Summary 281 VB CONCLUSION 285 Creating an Aligned Path from Caretaker to Awakener 287 Capital "C" Coach Alignment Process 288 A$TERWORD 297 APPENDIX A: A BRIEF HISTORY OF LOGICAL LEVELS 299 BmLIOGRAPHY 325 INDEX 329 ABOUT THE AUTHOR 341 V111
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