Friends Bulletin- Building the Western Quaker Community Since 1929-June 2000

20 Pages·2000·2.6 MB·English

,
Friends
Bulletin
"Building the Western Quaker June 2000
Community Volume Number
4
71,
Since 1929"
Dying
Ministry the
to
In This Issue:
Kirsten Backstrom,
“Openness and
A
Openings:
Friend’s Approach
to Hospice Work”
Lucy Mclver,
A
“Dying Like
Friend”
Peter Schiitte,
“Encounter with
Camouflaged An- my
“It is the Lord that is health and physician,
gels”
And God will give me ease and rest everlasting...”
Laura Weaver,
“Not the Monster The dying ministry ofSarah Camm, age
9,
You Might
17th century hand-written manuscript
Imagine”
preserved by her father
And Much More Thomas Camm.
.
"A Cloud Witnesses"
From the Editor of
Friends Bulletin
—
The official publication of I t is “holy week”—the week before Easter as I work on this issue and put the final
Pacific, North Pacific and touches on A Western—Quaker Reader. Although Friends traditionally did not celebrate
Intermountain Yearly Meeting holy weeks or holy days every day is supposed to be holy—it seems appropriate at this
of the Religious Society of time to reflect on the theme ofEaster, namely, death and resurrection.
— —
Friends (Quakers)
Resurrection bringing the dead back to life is, figuratively speaking, one of the his-
(Opinions expressed are those
torian’s most challenging and rewarding tasks. Margaret Bacon once told me that she began
ofthe authors,
not necessarily oftheYearly Meetings.) writing biographies because she couldn’t stand the idea of letting people like Lucretia Mott
be forgotten. One of the goals ofA Western Quaker Reader is to help insure that the stories
Editor/Publisher
Anthony Manousos of exemplary Friends like Howard and Anna Brinton, Floyd Schmoe, Gordon Hirabayashi,
5238 Andalucia Court Josephine Duveneck, Jim Corbett, Leanore Goodenow, Franklin Zahn, Bob Vogel, Ed
Whittier, CA 90601 Sanders, Earle Reynolds, and many others will be a living legacy for future generations.
Phone: [phone] During my daily meditations, I have sometimes felt the presence of departed Friends
Fax: [phone] hovering in the air, as it were. Was this a comforting fantasy, or can the vital spirits of the
[email protected]
past live on in us? Is this what Paul meant when he said that there is “cloud of witnesses”
Web: www.quaker.org/fb
surrounding us who can give us strength for “the good race”?
IMYM
Corresponding Editors
Maria Krenz, 10107 Gold Hill Rd, Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay
Boulder, CO 80302 aside every weight and the sin that clings so closely, and let us run with perseverance
Alicya MWalik the race that is set before us....” Hebrews 12:1.
2693 Avenida Anahar,
Tucson, AZ 85745
Henry Selters To draw strength from those who have gone before us, we need to invoke, or at least
PO Box 12651,
Albuquerque, NM 87195 visualize them. I learned this when Joanna Macy led us in a Buddhist meditation called the
“ball of merit.” In this practice you visualize yourself holding a large ball containing every
NPYM
Corresponding Editors good deed ever committed. “Remember that even the most hardened criminal, the most self-
DonPOGoBlodsxte1i0n10, ish person, has done some deeds ofkindness,” Joanna Macy reminded us. “Imagine that you
Twisp, WA 98856 are holding all that goodness in your arms. And imagine that this is a reservoir of energy
Jean Triol and strength that you can draw from. ...”
SPoOmeBrosx, 3M6T7,59932 It is my hope that A Western Quaker Reader will be used in this manner, as a source of
PYM inspiration and strength, during your times ofmeditation and worship.
Corresponding Editors
Marybeth Webster In the course of researching this book, we gathered far more material that we could
PO Box 2843, conceivably use. It was impossible to include the history of every Meeting or of every
Grass Valley, CA 95945 Friend who made a significant contribution to Quakerism here in the West.
Board ofDirectors My original plan was to leave this extraneous material in an archive, to await a future
JeaPnnMiBe G1r3a1veBs,oxCl8e0r4k9, historian. I have now decided that it makes more sense to publish Meeting histories on a
Newport Beach, CA 92658-8049 monthly basis. I also hope to publish an ongoing biographical directory of Western Friends,
Alan Chickering, Treasurer living and deceased, sometime in the next year or two. In this way we can honor (and draw
1916 Orange St SE, Apt B,
Olympia, WA 98501 strength from) those Friends, living and dead, who have contributed to the life of our Meet-
Anne Friend, Recording Clerk ings. We will also complete the task begun with A Western Quaker Reader.
2Lo6s49AnKgeenlewso,oCdAAv9e0,007 The main focus of this issue of FB is on ministry to the dying. Caring for those on the
MaryLouCoppock verge of death is not an easy task, but it can be an extremely significant spiritual journey, as
514 E Colgate, Kirsten Backstrom and Laura Weaver reveal. In her hospice work, Kirsten sensitively ap-
Tempe, AZ 85283
plies Quaker principles when relating to those transitioning to the next stage of existence.
Cynthia Taylor
962 26th St, The decision to become a pen pal with a death row inmate led Laura Weaver on a spiritual
Ogden, UT 84401 journey ofextraordinary depth.
Lan9n3y3JMaeyndocino Ave, In her sensitive depiction of Joe Haven’s death in her Pendle Hill pamphlet, Lucy Me
Santa Rosa, CA 95401 Iver shows us what it means “to die like a Friend.”
Luc41y1FuNll9e0rttohnSt, #402, As I reflect on these stories, and on the meaning of Easter, it seems to me that those who
Seattle, WA 98103 dedicate their lives to works of compassion and justice never die, but live on in our hearts
Jim KimbaNlWl and in the heart of the Eternal. May we all draw comfort and strength from those who have
3050 Lynwood Circle,
Corvallis, OR 97330 lived and died in the Truth.
FRIENDS Bulletin (USPS 859-220) is published monthly except February and August by the Friends Bulletin Corporation ofthe Religious Society
of Friends at 5238 Andalucia Court, Whittier, California 90601-2222. Telephone [phone]. Periodicals postage paid at Whittier, CA 90601-
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Page 2 Friends Bulletin - June 2000
Kirsten Backstrom
our meetings for worship, and in our lives,
Multnomah (Oregon) Meeting
we have already learned to value the direct
A experience, to open ourselves to “that of
s a volunteer at an in-patient hospice, God” in one another and all things, to wait
and as a person who has had a life- and listen. Ideally, our minds and hearts are
threatening illness myself, I’ve thought open to new Light, and we do not require
much about death and dying, from many that Light to come in a particular familiar
different angles. I’ve wonderedjust what it form. Through our queries, we have a his-
is that makes us who we are as individuals: tory of questioning our own assumptions
what aspects of our identities will die and examining ourselves. So when we
when we die, and what may continue? come to meet death, perhaps we will be
When I get to know a person who is near ready to learn as we go, exercising our dis-
death, I seldom get to know that person as cernment as well as we can, even when the
he or she was during the active years of going is difficult and the final meaning un-
living, seldom get to know the role that he
clear.
or she played in the world. Instead, we In writing about this, I c—atch myself
meet at the level of essentials, with only trying to come to conclusions to make a
the shared moment between us, and our point and then share stories that will illus-
simplest selves. Some unique essence that trate that point. But in reality the main
makes a person who they are still remains thing I’m learning about death and dying is
when the outward defining features of the
that it is paradoxical, complicated, individ-
persona have been lost or changed. It is — ual. The only broad generalizations that
this essence, this “soul,” that I would like Kirsten andherfelinefriendLibby Staffphoto can be made have to do with listening,
—
to believe survives death. But, of course, I smaller more specific to particular situa- openness, patience, etc. Finally, the unique
can’t know for sure, and I am trying to tions and to particular individuals ap- process of each person’s death evolves out
learn to be quietly attentive to the mystery proaching the ends of their lives. of that person’s life, and any response to
instead of expecting answers. Recently, I I believe that Friends may have some that dying must be just as individual as the
have let the grand, unanswerable questions small advantage when we approach or en- person going through Therefore, instead
it.
go, and have tried to make my questions counter the subject of death and dying: in of presenting my own thoughts to you, I
will try to share one story about one par-
ticular hospice patient, and simply offer
Kirsten Backstrom, “Openings and Openness in Hospice Work” 3
you some of the questions and concerns
Book Reviews 5 that this man’s dying raised in me.
Jack was dying of end-stage heart dis-
Lucy Mclver, “Dying Like A Friend” 6
ease. Because his heart was not working
Mary Lou Coppock, “To Howard Mills, 1900*1999” 7 properly, the fluids had built up in his ex-
tremities and in his lungs, making breath-
Peter Schiitte, “Encounter with Camouflaged Angels” 8 ing difficult. When I first entered his room
Mary Miche, “In Celebration of Solitude” 9 with Sharon (a nurse) to turn him and
change his bedding, I saw only a man in his
Laura Weaver, “Not the Monster You Might Imagine....” 10 seventies who appeared unconscious,
breathing in shallow gurgling gasps. Ordi-
Friendly Responses 12
narily, I would introduce myself to a pa-
Meetings of the Month, “Corvallis Meeting and 13 tient first thing, but with Jack I only said
Florence Worship Group” hello and told him that we were going to
—
turn him not thinking he could really re-
Robert Schutz, “What Makes Friends House Special?” 14
spond, and not wanting to bother him with
Call to NPYM and PYM, and Calendar 15 my name.
When we began to move him, how-
Anna Roberts, “Standing Up and Sitting In For Workers’ Rights” 16
ever, he demonstrated that he was quite
Gracias from the Editor and Memorial Minute 17 aware; he began to have great difficulty
breathing, and flailed with his hands and
Advertisements 18 tried to speak. Immediately, I became sen-
Page 3 Friends Bulletin - June 2000
—
sitive to him as a whole person not just even though it may have been my own try to understand what she and Jack had
someone struggling, but a unique being projection and not what Jack actually been through and how much she wanted
with a particular, distinct quality of per- meant. We all smiled at each other, com- to keep him from suffering any more.
sonality that came through in his every ing to our own understanding. At the same time, I wanted to under-
gesture. My focus shifted to a much more Soon, Sharon had to leave, but I stand what it was about her statements
personal caring; I really met him, and was stayed on and continued this sharing with that I was resisting. Thinking about it
fully present as myself, not just through Jack. Several times, he went through small later, I realized that most of us have a ten-
my
role as volunteer. This is something crises, groping for air, but each time found dency to be in too much of a hurry about
—
that occurs with almost every patient I his breath again and squeezed my hand to everything to rush through experiences,
encounter; as I enter the room, I only assure me that he was all right. Later, his especially if they are difficult experiences,
know to expect a man or woman of a cer- daughter arrived. When she saw his to get on with whatever comes next. I’m
tain age with a certain set of symptoms, flushed and exhausted face, she cried and prone to this kind of impatient hurrying
but within moments of meeting that per- hugged him and said over and over, “You myself, and have done things in the quick-
son, he or sh—e becomes a whole human can go now, you can just let go, it’s est possib—le way many times in many
being to me a unique individual who time. ...” These words seemed rather out of situations often missing something cru-
could never be confused with any other. sync with what was actually going on for cial in the process.
Even if Jack had not been as conscious Jack in the moment. This rushing tendency is especially
and aware as he was, I believe that I I’d been with him for a couple of intense where dying is concerned; the
would have gotten this same strong sense hours by then and had felt how important natural, automatic reaction often seems to
of his individuality; even though he could it still was to him to communicate, to dis- be “the quicker the better.” But in earlier
barely speak, he was able to communicate cover what step came next, to ready him- times, when there were fewer options, the
something of himself. self gradually and with great effort. For his last stages of dying were treated with pa-
I rubbed his back and talked to him, daughter, though, it had been a long, long tient waiting. Everyone expected to sit
held his hand. Sharon put her hand on and watch and not do any-
his chest, caught his eye, breathed with thing other than try to make
him. Then she had to leave and I stayed Kirsten the dying person as comfort-
with Jack. He could answer with a aBancdkHsotlrloym able as possible. I think that
clear, affirmative sound and nod when
I Jarvis were this kind of patience is essen-
spoke to him. I just said simple, innocu- married tial. Sometimes the dying
ous things like “it must be so frighten- underthe goes quickly, but generally it
ing when you can’t get your breath” care of does not, and a willingness to
and “you’ve sure been —through a lot” Multnomah give even this most difficult
and “you’re doing fine” which he af- Meeti-ng in time our full care and atten-
firmed, looking at me. 1999 tion for as long as it lasts is a
Then he began to have chest pains. Staffphoto way of showing great love.
Sharon came quickly when I rang the We naturally feel we should
buzzer; she gave him medication. Since do something active about a
he had earlier stated that he was ready difficult situation, but some-
to die, Sharon told him clearly that the struggle and she saw that he was much times there is nothing to be done but wait
medicine would not prolong his life, only wors—e than he’d been even the day be- and watch and love.
relieve the immediate distress. He nodded. fore and she hoped that he was finally Springing directly out of this essential
I rested a hand on his shoulder and we going to be able to die quickly. She kept need for patience is a further idea that is
waited for the medication to take effect. saying to me, “It’s going to be really soon, more difficult to swallow, and that I
After quite a while, Jack was able to now, isn’t it? It’s time now, isn’t it?” I an- would certainly not have tried to commu-
breathe regularly though shallowly, and swered noncommittally. nicate directly to Jack’s daughter because
was no longer in pain. We continued to Jack was certainly getting ready to it might easily have been misinterpreted
talk :o him, and listened carefully to the die, and almost certainly would not live and probably would not have been useful
things he was trying to communicate. It more than a day or so, but he did not seem to her. I also believe that there is some-
was not always possible to understand to be about to die right then. And my sense thing essential in the struggle itself. Hos-
exactly what he wanted to get across, but of his emotional state was that he was in a pice care can prevent extremes of pain
there was a sense of shared communica- laboring, struggling mode, still trying to and physical suffering, but there are
tion nevertheless. At one point, Sharon complete something and not yet quite bound to be discomforts at least, and al-
described his struggle using the metaphor ready to let go even though he did want to most certainly emotional struggles as well.
—
of climbing a mountain, saying th—at he die as soon as possible so I was con- A degree of pain (of one kind or another)
was “within sight of the summit” and cerned that his daughter’s pushing might is part of the dying process just as it is
Jack clearly replied with the word be frustrating for him. (“Can’t you see he’s part of the birthing process. No one
“bottom.” Perhaps, for him, completing trying?" I thought.) She expressed a wish should have to die in agony, but there is a
this journey meant not reaching the top that we could just “give him a shot” and kind of laboring, which could also be
but returning to where he had started, “get it over with.” And I had to be very called “suffering,” that is merely the full
“getting to the bottom.” I liked that idea, careful not to react negatively to this, but participation of the human being in the
Page 4 Friends Bulletin - June 2000
—
— —
last hours of life: the hard process of let- sarily go as we think it should it might just met I am sitting beside a whole hu-
ting go that can be at the heart of transfor- be messier, more prolonged, more dis- man being who is in the midst of a deep
—
mation. couraging and part of the dying process life experience. I feel privileged to share
Ifthe pain is too powerful, or if a per- has always been the fact that we don’t that experience, in however limited a way,
son is taken by surprise and overwhelmed have any real say in this. When the possi- and I try to open myself, as I would dur-
or panicked (as when Jack was fighting to bility of suicide is introduced, all ques- ing meeting for worship, to the Light in
breathe, or hurt and scared by sudden tions become more complicated, and the each moment. If I am fully present, fully
chest pains) then the suffering feels des- answers to those questions must be as in- alive and appreciative of these moments
perate and may not deepen into transfor- dividual as the people and the circum- of life, then a kind of communion can oc-
mation; it seems terribly harsh when peo- stances involved. I don’t feel that I can cur: the volunteer at the bedside and the
ple have to die this way. But if, instead, generalize, and perhaps what I am learn- patient in the bed are two distinct people
there is a steady acknowledgment of the ing now is to question all of my ownj—udg- with distinct souls, yet they are both living
pain and effort involved in the dying proc- ments, all of my own assumptions to in this moment, both dying in this mo-
ess, if the person is “on top of it” and feels accept that I do not know what is right ment. We live and die in our different
supported in “going into it,” then the and can only follow my heart in individual ways, making different decisions, inter-
“suffering” or struggling and laboring situations as sincerely as possible. preting our experiences differently, yet in
may be what allows the person to feel When I am sitting beside a dying per- any given moment it is possible to see and
truly ready to let go freely and die with son, whether that person is conscious or know the Light that we all share.
grace and ease. comatose, struggling or peaceful, some- Note: Names anddetails have been changed
Jack died with this kind of grace and one I’ve gotten to know or someone I’ve to protect theprivacy ofthose concerned.
ease the following day. He had finished
Book Reviews
his hard work. His daughter was with him; the year-long research that took her far
she opened a windowjust after he died, to away from her Oregon home and family to
give his spirit room to breathe. A Song of Death, Our Spiritual Birth: A Pendle Hill where she worked with the
Hospice work has raised many ques- Quaker Way ofDying by Lucy Screechfield help of a Cadbury scholarship. Lucy Mcl-
tions in my mind and heart. I would like Mclver. Pendle Hill Pamphlet #340, ver shares beautiful, often poetic, excerpts
to open some ofthese questions, gently, in Wallingford, PA: 1998. 33 pages paperback, from surviving testimonies. Her interpre-
the minds and heart of others—questions $4.00. Reviewed by Jean Triol, Glacier Val- tations tie them together, finding answers,
we can all ask ourselves gradually, as ap- ley Worship Group, Kalispell, MT. unity, and joy in the deep faith and pas-
propriate, and answer in our own individ- sionate ministry. To those that were left in
ual ways. For instance, “Why do we as- ^ think I have figured out the Quaker the —world, this evidence of joyful transi-
sume that it is best if the dying happens Away of living; now I want to know tion and the “natu—ral flow of life to-
quickly?” and even, “Why do we assume the Quaker way dying. Can you tell me wards Eternal Love surely helped, then
that it is best if there is no struggle, no about that? I am ready to die.” This was and now, to make separation from loved
suffering?” However, I must acknowledge asked by an elderly Friend, who sought ones more bearable, no matter how pain-
that these questions do reflect my own clearness as his own death approached. ful the death.
bias: I suppose I feel that we shouldn’t be The author of this pamphlet, also a This pamphlet is not just for those
in a hurry, and we should allow for a cer- Quaker, was deeply challenged by this that need help with meeting the reality and
tain amount of struggle. And as soon as I question from her cherished friend. Hav- meaning of death. Early Friends used the
acknowledge this bias, I immediately be- ing been present at the deaths of two “Dying Sayings” for teaching and medita-
gin to think of the other perspective, of Quaker elders, she had been struck by tion for children as well as adults. Lucy
the patients I’ve met who may have felt how similar these transitions felt to the Mclver leads us to see how modern
entirely ready to let go and die but then recent birth of her grandchild and was led Friends, too, can find promise and instruc-
lingered for several days and seemed to to ask these questions: tion in how to live life more fully in the
get more and more unhappy about the de- brief interval we are granted between birth
lay.... Perhaps they really had already Could birth and death be the same and death. Words written at her grand-
finished and it was time for them to go experience child’s birth say:
and yet they couldn’t go. Do I really be- Can death be a time of living more There is only one moment,
lieve that they were rushing things by completely? one moment between life and death;
wishing to end it quickly? Do I really How did the faith of early Friends only one moment between still-
think it best that someone should linger guide them in the experience of living ness...and that continual movement of
beyond the point where they feel finished? into death? breath.
I’ve seen situations where the dying per- So I listen...in that moment.
son had a final, unexpected breakthrough The search for answers to these ques- And I hear one small voice... “it is
that would have been missed if they had tions led the author to follow a spiritual time.”
cut the process short; but I’ve also seen a path. She found herself embracing death Coming back to the elderly Friend’s
few situations that just seemed (from the by accompanying friends and family in query: what is the Quaker way of dying?
outside) to drag on “unnecessarily.” their time of dying. She was also drawn to At the moment it was asked, the author,
Every situation is different. The vital study the dying ministry of 17th century remembering the passionate ministry of
point, though, is that death will not neces- Friends. This pamphlet shares the fruits of early Friends’ dying testimonies, found
Page 5 Friends Bulletin - June 2000
s
herself answering quite simply: “They view, every one of us has the poten- at its foundations.
died as they lived, practicing their faith.” tial to commit crimes, because we are This book should find good use in study
all subject to negative, disturbing programs, alongside other resources, such
Lucy Mclver, a dance therapist by emotions and negative mental quali- as This Life We Take. Copies are obtain-
training, together with her life partner, ties. And we will not overcome these able from Religious Organizing Against the
Karen Lundblad, an experienced hospice by executing other people. Death Penalty Project c/o AFSC, 1505
social worker, gives workshops on death Cherry Street, Philadelphia, PA 19101.
and dying ccdled “Living our Faith unto Together, the contributions in this vol- Phone: [phone] or E-mail:
Death. ” She has shared this ministry with ume are loud and clear: the death penalty [email protected].
meetings in North Pacific Yearly Meeting, is a religious issue; it confronts our faith
Pendle Hill, at Friends General Confer-
ence annual gathering and more recently
at Quaker Center, Ben Lomond. Her work
continues to be guided and supported by
Eugene Meeting in Oregon.
I was pleased to be able to attend a
workshop with nine other Friends given
by Lucy and Karen in Montana in No-
vember 1998. It was a full and emotional
weekend where we were gently and skill-
fully led, by the use of drawing, writing,
meditation, role playing, and other very
revealing exercises, to discover how to
deal with personal griefandfears of our
own death. Remembering that November
weekend now, what strikes me most is
that it was not a sad weekend. On the
contrary: it was a joy. It focused on life.
My attitude toward death has changed
quite decidedly since that time. A nagging
dread has been replaced by a conviction
that death is a great transition where we
gain everything and lose nothing. To sup-
port a loved one in this transition is
surely as important and blessed an event By Lucy Mclver Havens had on numerous lives, it seems
as birth, a necessary closure of the won- Eugene Meeting, Oregon fitting to publish thefollowing account in
derful circle oflife and death. which Lucy Mclver describ—es how Joe
”
Havens “died like a Friend. Editor]
[I came to know Joe and Teresina Havens
O
Sermons, Homilies, Reflections on the when they were involved in a retreat cen-
ur materialistic culture places an
Death Penalty. Ed. Patricia Clark. Ameri- ter called Temenos in western Massa-
emphasis on our physical and intel-
can Friends Service Committee. Philadel- chuetts in the late 1980s. During my many
lectual selves. Our values reflect the im-
phia, PA. 40 pages. $4.00. Reviewed by visits to this retreat, I came to see the Ha-
portance of seeking comfort in our lives,
Lincoln Moses, Palo Alto Meeting. vens as epitomizing the Quaker way oflife
of stressing outward appearances, our ca-
This collection of seventeen essays is (see sidebar). I also felt as ifthe Havens
well worth reading. The authors are were my “spiritual grandparents. ” reer and social status. This shift of em-
—
phasis on the physical and intellectual has
mainly clergy Catholic, Protestant, Jew- During a recent trip to Temenos, I
given over the control and monitoring of
ish, plus an attorney, a bishop, and the had the opportunity to read Teresina’
Dalai Lama. Most of the essays are rooted spiritual autobiography—written as a se- the natural process of birth and death to
—
in personal experience some are haunt- ries of letters to her granddaughter Ken- medical practice. Thus we find little as-
ingly reminiscent of Dead Man Walking. dra. I was delighted to learn that Terry surance in life’s natural course and seek
All are thoughtful and well-written. and Joe “first met on the pages of the to prolong life at all costs. Medical doc-
My favorite passage (from the Dalai Friends Bulletin, which had published an tors are seen as authorities over life’s pro-
Lama): article about Itto-En [the Japanese Bud- cesses. And as we place our faith in a sci-
dhist community that Teresina had lived entific rational framework, we are sepa-
Harmful actions and their tragic con- with]. Joe read it and came to see me at rated from our own innate ability to expe-
sequences all have their origin in dis- Pendle Hill....” rience life’s regenerative powers. Some
turbing emotions and negative (Reading this, 1 thought: you never see death as failure, the opposite of life.
thoughts. And these are a state of know what will happen when you publish The prevalence of these cultural atti-
mind, whose potential we find in all an article in Friends Bulletin/) tudes became clear to me as I witnessed
human beings. From this point of In light ofthe profound impact that the the dying of my friend, Joseph Havens.
Page 6 Friends Bulletin - June 2000
Joe died two years after the death of his faith. The foundation of his actions came heal and grow in laboring his spiritual
wife, Teresina. He suffered with Parkin- from a strong inner conviction that he was birth.
son's Disease which was rapidly pro- imperfect; facing those weaknesses he All who knew and lived with Joe in
gressing in his body. He tried to find believed was a necessary process as he the time of his dying were affected by
ministry in his diminishments by sharing was dying. Giving up food symbolically his witness. Our vicarious suffering be-
his days with others who also suffered in represented, to Joe, letting go of life’s came a paradigm of healing. We grew
their aging. While in the nursing home, pleasures. So strong was his love of living inwardly as we faced our weakness and
two months prior to his death, Joe would that surrendering to death could not have surrendered to the larger forces of pain.
attempt discussions with other residents been done without strong inner faith. And It was in those moments of humility
around verses from scripture. Most of as he faced his fears, his anger, and his that we came to know God’s presence
these people, however, could not engage guilt, he (and we) found opportunities to among us.
in conversation. Then he tried pushing
their wheelchairs up and down the hall
T
to provide them with some companion- ^ ^ oe Havens was educated at M.I.T. as an Industrial Engineer, a profession
J
ship and entertainment. His compassion which he practiced for two years. The Second World War abruptly terminated
came from common fellowship in such that career and forced him into value choices which led eventually to a Quaker CO
Camp. Following discharge he sought a way of life “as radical in peace-time” he
long and uneventful days.
writes, “as pacifism was in war-time.” From the base of a small Quaker commune he
Even so the advancing Parkinson’s
began working with Blacks, work-camp style, in the desolate row-houses of South
quickly took this ministry away from Joe
Chester, Pennsylvania. But soon the “specialness” of that life produced a feeling of
and he was left facing years of sitting
superiority and hostility toward affluent Friends. Aware of this incongruity in his re-
alone, unable to give or receive from
ligious life-style, he began a phase of self-reflection which led to Jungian analysis,
others. He inwardly knew the purpose of
psychology, and, after a Ph.D. from the University of Chicago, to a teaching post at
his life was complete. With family and Wilmington College, and later at Carleton College in Minnesota. Gradually his work
Friends, in a clearness committee, Joe shifted into the practice of psychotherapy, and ultimately into community mental
began to speak of self-starvation. At first health in the city of Holyoke. During this period he also participated in a working
those of us in that circle were horrified party which resulted in a book entitled Psychology and Religion: A Contemporary
—
at the thought. This opposed all our cul- Dialogue (Van Nostrand, 1968).” From A Fifth Yoga: The Way ofRelationships,
tural values of hanging onto life, as we Pendle Hill Pamphlet #222, 1978.
knew it. And too, if Joe had had a When Joe and Teresina Havens “retired,” they formed a retreat center called
choice, life would have continued for- Temenos near Amherst, Massachusetts, where they encouraged indepth exploration
ever, for he so loved beauty in both peo- of spirituality and social activism. Teresina died February 14, 1992; Joe died Octo-
ple and nature. But Joe spoke out of his ber 13, 1994.
conviction that his work was done. He
was ready to face the final spiritual chal-
—
lenge death. To Howard Mills, 1900-1999 After one night, the spikes ofcactus
flowers limber,
Joe participated in his dying by fo-
cusing on the pain of his own hunger Life is flowering as I mourn Dad’s The white petals melt closed.
and finding it connected with global death.
Day flowers, night blooms, one
hunger. In this spiritual practice he came Today two rosy pink hibiscus blossoms
to feel inwardly that his suffering some- On a bush given to ease my grief time.
Mourning continues, transforming
how lessened the pain of others who had Last night five delicate waxy white
me.
no food. For those of us supporting Joe, Cereus cactus flowers.
as well as others who came to visit, we
saw the wasting of his body. We, too, After one day, the bush blossoms dry
were reminded of the reality of hunger dead pir’'
and came to feel the suffering of many.
During those days Joe would ask us
to take this mindfulness into our lives, to
shape our living so as not to contribute
to, or increase global poverty. He talked
of his concern for countries that could
not share in our wealth and materialistic
lifestyle. Through his dying testimony
we came to know that our consumerist
culture was the foundation of world-
wide poverty.
But Joe was no more a pious leader
than the early Friends who died in
prison. Rather, he was a man living his
Page 7 Friends Bulletin - June 2000
Encounter with Camouflaged Angels
my wheel simply turned
By Peter Schiitte and just in time I
coasted into the parking
Multnomah Meeting Oregon
, lot. It seemed as if
something did it for me.
T Another thank you
wo years ago it was discov- came out of my mouth
e—red that I have an “irregular my
heart” meaning, in my case, as I flattenMedy
driver’s seat. en-
abteriahlelfiicborpitllearteidon.offItMcta.usHeododmetotao ergy low, I checked my
pulse. It was a slow 60
hospital, and since then, a light
and very irregular. I
medication has helped to control it
concentrated on breath-
fairly well. Being a person who
ing deeply and slowly.
loves long hikes in the mountains
It felt good; and after
and woods, having traveled a great
about ten minutes of
deal and climbed many 12 and 13
K summits, it has unsettled me to cthhies,ckI hsloowwlywgaost duopintgo
have this condition that has made I
when
me look at death a couple of times, sitting. I felt
drained and weak and
after a life of living with Life.
lay down again.
So here I was on another won-
That evening I was sup-
derful hike in one of the gorgeous
posed to see a movie
valleys of the Columbia Gorge. ©
PeterSchiitte climbing the Matterhorn PeterSchiitte with a friend. It was
Snow in the trees, on the path, and
about 5:30 already, and
endlessly enjoying myself walking make it home. But after about five more
I had no cell phone to call and ask if he
in wonderment and admiration.... The wa- minutes the same thing happened, and I
could drive out to this parking area to get
terfalls were blowing up clouds of mist began to look out for another parking
that drifted upwards among the huge trees. place. Soon I found one, and still noticed me. Oh, I hated that thought and let go of
I felt myself part of this beauty and was the fine lines of the Gorge, clouds hover- it. But lying down again, listening to the
strong winds that usually blow at this park-
tohfanGkofdu’lsfocrretahteiomnagwniitfhiceeancche abnrdeatahrtiastnrdy rinegpebaettedwetehnistdhreimv.inIg-rreecsltiinnegdtahgianign.f.o.ratnhde ing, I wondered how I could get home.
step I took. 1 had only the afternoon so I next 30 miles. Now needing to concen- There was nobody around, and I was not
ready to stand along the freeway in this icy
just went about four miles and turned trate hard on the painted lines on the
around to add another four wonderful road, I talked to my Guardian Angel, my storm. So I relaxed by thinking of some
wonderful places I have been. I went on a
miles. I often stopped to watch clouds rise heart and brain, reassuring them that it
journey back to the Swiss Alps, descend-
up from below, sling themselves around would be okay soon. But I found that
ing the Weisshorn after a stunning view at
branches and layer the far away trees in things got worse, and my perception of
nearly 13,000 feet, after hanging in a sling
the hills. I have been a photographer all the bright lights in the other lane became
on the east face during a thunderstorm the
my life, and my eyes are both alert and so bright I could hardly look at them any
night before, followed by a glorious sun-
dreamy to see the beautiful light, the ever longer. That happens when a lack of
varying sights in nature. blood hits my optical nerve. I know this rise...A.t that point a huge truck moved into
Back at my car I said a temporary signal. my parking area and stopped. I got up and
good-bye to paradise, and drove off to- At this point I was still about 24 slowly drove my car next to the truck. I
wards the freeway back to Portland. miles from Portland. It was dark, so I
knocked on the high door while stepping
It was only a few minutes after hitting asked my Angel to guide me to safety. I
into a deep puddle with ice cold slush.
tAheslriogahdt,dtihzaztinaesfso,reabowdairnnginfgeetlhiantg mhiyt mcier.- sgtoilrlgecoouusldhiksetilalndfeseilghjtosyuanbdoeurtneathteh palalstI The driver invited me to climb into his
culation to my head was low. Still, I felt was suffering through at this point. There cab, where it was light and warm. I ex-
fine but a bit cautious now and driving had been no parking place for quite a plained that I had a spell of trouble with
my heart and asked ifhe could perhaps call
faster to be home in case I’d feel worse. while now, but I knew of a generally my
friend in Portland.
But soon I felt my energy drain, my head very windy view point along the Colum- Hearing my dilemma, the driver told
more dizzy, and I pulled out to a roadside bia River that must come soon. me that he actually had two hitchhikers on
parking area and put the seat down to lie When I saw the sign, I was concen-
board that he picked up in Eastern Oregon.
flat for a while. After about ten minutes I trating so hard on the road that I almost He motioned to the back and there I saw
felt better and drove on, a bit nervous to passed the entrance. Strangely enough.
Page 8 Friends Bulletin - June 2000
AM
And
two young guys, both in clean camouflage yes, I glad. New Books FREE!
outfits, the kind hunters wear. They were I am sharing this story because I feel
sitting on the driver’s bunk bed. the need to share the Light and the Mira-
I had not noticed them as I climbed cles that I see and experience around me. The following books are sitting on the
in. The driver was planning to drop them It is my way of saying: do not give your editor’s shelf awaiting a reviewer. If
off in Portland, so they could take the bus energy and attention to worries, suspi- you’d like to review one of the following
home. They apparently lived just north of cions, lies, and the wrong doings that our books, please contact the editor at
my home. The driver suggested that they world is full of. Rather than dwell on bad [email protected] or at 5238 Andalu-
drive my car, and this is how we’d help things, let’s focus on Light and Life. cia Ct, Whittier, CA 90601. Please indi-
each other. I would like to hear from anyone with cate what experience you’ve had in re-
After agreeing to this, we got out. I atrial fibrillation, and what you do about viewing books and what book(s) you’d
thanked the kind driver, and these guys, these spells, how you live with it. Please like to review.
who turned out to be brothers, took their write or e-mail me: [email protected], or:
place in my car. They told me that they Peter Schiitte, 2813 NE 9th Ave, Portland, Bacon, Margaret Hope. Abby Hopper Gib-
had been at their mother’s funeral in East- OR 97212. bons: Prison Reformer and Social Activist.
ern Oregon, and another brother’s car that Peter is a Quaker by convincement, Albany, NY: State University ofNew York
they came with had broken down. The and “renews this convincement again and Press, 2000. 217 pp.
Besse, Joseph. Sufferings of Early Quakers:
truck driver picked them up. At that point, again. ” A native from the Netherlands, Facsimile of a part of the 1753 edition.
it was all fine with me, as long as I could his work and love for the Pacific North- York, England: Sessions Book Trust, 2000.
get home and to my warm bed and sleep it west brought him to Portland in 1982. As 330 pp.
off. But this guy was not very good at a a photographer he has traveled the world Brown, Judith. God’s Spirit in Nature. Pendle
stick shift and I had to coach him through and is now teaching and leading work- Hill Pamphlet #336. Wallingford, PA:
shifting, letting his foot off the clutch... shops. Pendle Hill Publications, 1998. 32 pp.
Charland, William. Lifework: A Career Guide
and after some crunches we got up to
for Idealists. Richmond, IN: Friends United
speed and I felt dizzier than ever.
Press, 1999. 183 pp.
To make it all short, we arrived safely Darke, Dorothy Marie. The Leaves Have Lost
in my drive. And this is where it hap- In Celebration of Solitude Their Trees. York, England: William Ses-
pened... sions, Ltd. 107 pp. £8.50.
I was a bit slow getting out of the car, By Mary Miche Dart, Martha, Ed. Quaker Friendship: Letters
and remember one of the young men say- MM from Marjorie Sykes. York, England: Wil-
Strawberry Creek
ing: “I’ll leave the keys in the lock and the liams Sessions Ltd., 1999. 133 pp.
parking lights on....” When I got out and I remember the day EarFrliheanmdsS:cAhoCoolnsoufltRaetliiogniownithReFproiretn.dsAamboonugt
looked for them to thank them, I could not Wejust sat on the hillside the Condition ofQuakers in the U.S. today.
see them anymore! I looked in the drive, All day. Richmond, IN: Earlham School ofReligion,
stumbled to the dark street, and there was A quiet day 1999. 294 pp.
not a trace! I called, but all I met was si- Surrounded by the stillness Elan, Jennifer. Dancing with God. Pendle Hill
lence and my cat Felix who came running Pamphlet #344. Wallingford, PA: Pendle
Created by forest and chaparral
to the porch. The brothers had vanished Hill Publications, 1999. 46 pp.
tfortiaelnldys! Aneharbweyl,l,anIdwefneltl idnsoiwden, pohnontehde Today is that day FagWearr,:ChPuacpke,rsEd.anFdriPernedssenatnadtiotnhse fVireotmnaam
Again.
Gathering for Recollection, Reappraisal
couch totally out ofit. Nothing but the luxury and Looking Ahead. Wallingford, PA:
Next morning sitting at my desk, Of a whole long day Pendle Hill Publications, 1998. 365 pp.
thinking about that adventure and the van- Framed by river and mountain and sky. Glover, Sue. Go and the Lord Go with Thee!
ished brothers, the thought hit me: maybe York, England: Sessions Book Trust, 1997.
they were angels! It all had been such a I will remember this day 67 pp.
strange and wonderful train of events.... Grundy, Martha Paxson. Tall Poppies: Sup-
In all its damselfly delicacy.
Perhaps I was helped by angels! I will cherish this day porting Gifts of Ministry and Eldering in
Then the phone rang. It was my son In the details ofdappled clouds the Monthly Meeting. Pendle Hill Pamphlet
calling from Minneapolis. I told him what and willowed scents. c#a3t4i7o.nsW,a1l9l9i9n.gf3o2rdp,p.PA: Pendle Hill Publi-
happened. His reaction: “Well, don’t I will bring the memory ofthis day Hawkins, Brian. Taming the Phoenix: Ciren-
worry about it, dad, these guys were an- To salve the wounds ofbusier days. cester & the Quakers, 1642-1686. York,
gels!... Simple. Of course angels wear I share the beauty of this day England: Williams Sessions, Ltd., 1998.
camouflage suits and don’t know how to With you, dear friend 277 pp.
shift gears; What are you worrying about, To remind you that Heron, Alastair. On Being a Quaker: Mem-
dad?! You did not even understand you bership: past-present-future. Kelso, Scot-
This day can still be found
awlelreovterru!stiGnog,dbjuutstyosuenwterseo.mIecaanngheelasrtiot IAngayionu.r life Herloannd,: ACluarstlaeiwr—.PrOoudructQiuoanks,er20I0d0e.nti7t5y:ppR.elig-
help you; just be glad! The angel of death ious society or friendly society? Kelso,
Scotland: Curlew Productions, 1999. 63 pp.
was met by the angel ofLife and Love.”
£4.
(To be continued next month)
Page 9 Friends Bulletin - June 2000
—
M
any good sensible men
who come here turn
into crazed and raving luna-
tics because they don’t have
the mental fortitude to han-
dle the pressure that comes
with living [on Death Row]. I
often find myself hovering
dangerously close to that
same abyss of madness and it
is only through an iron will
By Laura Weaver that I can force myself back
MM from the edge. That is one of
Friend in Resident at Orange Grove the main reasons for my
T seeking out pen-pals.
his is the story of a spiritual journey Through these correspon-
to death row, and witnessing the exe- dences, I am able to keep in row use the appeals system purely as a
cution of a man not so different from you touch with the outside delaying tactic since it is rare that sen-
My
and me. journey began three years world.... I honestly believe tences are overturned, especially in Texas.
ago, and it all started with a letter... that, without these pen- Only one inmate out of 400 has been re-
While living in Ireland, I became in- friendships, I would eventu- leased in the last 17 years.
volved with an organization called Life- ally succumb to the dark de- The second reason for dropping his
lines Ireland that helps “outsiders” to form spair that permeates the air appeals was due to the appalling treatment
penpal relationships with death row in- here... It is people like your- he had endured on death row. Robert had
mates. self that keep people like my- been subject to solitary confinement for
This organization connected me with self alive and fighting to sur- over nine months in what was commonly
—
a 31-year-old man from Texas named vive.... RobertAtworth referred to as the ‘suicide cell’ so called
Robert Atworth. Robert was not the pen- because the majority of inmates confined
pal I had anticipated, as many inmates on For more info, contact: there for more than two weeks attempt to
death row are illiterate or have limited commit suicide.
Death Row Support Project
writing skills. Robert was highly articulate The solitary confinement cell was
and intelligent. He had a passion for writ- PO Box 600, Dept 'C, five by seven feet. There was no window,
ing poetry and lyrics to songs that he Liberty Mills, IN 46946. and often no light. The toilet overflowed,
would send to me on a regular basis. It Lamp ofHope Project, and no one bothered to fix it. The cell
was not long before a strong friendship www.lampofhope.org reeked of feces. A chaplain who com-
was formed and letters regularly crossed plained about these conditions was trans-
the Atlantic between the West Coast of ferred to another prison.
Ireland and Huntsville, Texas. I visited Robert during his time in
It was always a pleasure to receive a “I met my habeas lawyer a month solitary confinement and witnessed first
letter from Robert, all except for his final ago,” wrote Robert. “He’s a decent man hand the effects of sensory deprivation
correspondence that arrived in October as people go but he’s never handled any and malnutrition he had suffered. As a
’99. In this letter he informed me that his type of habeas appeal. I will be his first result of this treatment, he felt that his
execution date had been set for December such case. This bodes badly for me. He spirit had been destroyed and that some-
14th. As I sat reading these words, my has already told me that if I can attract the thing had changed in him forever. He had
hands started shaking, I felt numb, and services of any experienced attorney, he faced many demons and had been pushed
started to cry. would gladly step aside. He realizes that to the edges of insanity. He became afraid
I knew that Robert had dropped his my life hangs in the balance and is pain- of becoming the animal that the outside
appeals and therefore his execution date fully aware that he is not fully capable of world considers death row prisoners to be.
would be brought forward, but I hadn’t properly representing me. His heart ap- “You know how I feel about the im-
anticipated that it would come so quickly. pears to be in the right place, though, and pending execution,” he said. “To be hon-
Robert dropped his appeals partly as that’s something.” est, Laura, I’ll welcome the finality of
a result of the incompetence of the lawyer Robert also knew that the appeals it.... The anxiety of waiting to die takes a
he had been assigned. process was futile. Many inmates on death heavy toll on a man’s soul.... Life to me
Page 10 Friends Bulletin - June 2000