Foster homes without fathers: A study of three widowed foster mothers and the children in their care

74 Pages·03.943 MB·English

by  Graham, Betty Campbell

FOSTER HOMES WITHOUT FATHERS
A STUDY OF THREE WIDOWED FOSTEITmOTHERS AND
THE CHILDREN IN THEIR CARE
A Thesis
Presented to
the Faculty of the School of Social Work
The University of Southern California
In Partial Fulfillment
of the Requirements for the Degree
Master of Social Work
by
Betty Campbell Graham
June 1951
UMI Number: EP66385
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This thesis, written under the direction of the
candidate’s Faculty Committee and approved
by all its members, has been presented to and
accepted by the Faculty of the Graduate School
of Social W ork in partial fulfilment of the re­
quirements for the degree of
MASTER OF SOCIAL WORK
97L
Dean
Date
Thesis of
Faculty Committee
Chairman
TABLE OF CONTENTS
CHAPTER PAGE
I. INTRODUCTION..................................... 1
TL© scop© of the problem.................... 1
Review of the literature................... 8
i
j II. FOSTER HOME ABSTRACTS............. 13
! The Baker foster h o m e ......................... 13
i
| The Mullins foster h o m e ........... . . . . . . 25
j
i The Simpson foster home .................... 37
III. CONCLUSIONS..................................... 53
Conclusions and implications ............... 53
BIBLIOGRAPHY..................... 62
APPENDIX................................................ 67
CHAPTER I
INTRODUCTION
Scope of the problem. The homes of widows and single
women are seldom used by child placing agencies for foster
care. Homes without a father person are generally regarded
as incomplete or "broken.11 At the same time children re­
quiring placement need home life and are felt to have the
right to so-called "normal” homes as a kind of compensation
for their earlier deprivations. It will be the purpose of
this thesis to demonstrate that certain selected children
requiring placement outside their own homes gain particular
benefits from that part of their lives spent in fatherless
foster homes.
It is generally agreed that the presence of a father
figure is essential for the normal development of the
average child. In those early stages of growth up to the
third year, known as the oral and the anal, the father pro­
vides a further stimulus to speech and habit training and by
his loving presence increases the security needed for whole­
some personality advancement. In succeeding years the
father*s role becomes increasingly important.
The normal outcome of this (next) stage of child­
hood, lasting approximately from the third to the
sixth year, known as the oedipal period, is an identi­
fication with one fs own sex and a strong affectional
tie to the opposite sex. When the father does not
permit the boy.to replace him,, yet does not punish -
2
him for his wish to do so, and simultaneously supports
him in becoming a man, in his own right, the way is
paved for the boyfs future adjustment to a wife. The
girl, who has experienced mother*s consistent love and
friendliness in spite of her feeling at times that
mother is in the way, is prepared to compete later
with other women for a husband. 3*
In the later period of development, known as the
latency stage, fathers are of particular importance as ego
ideals for their own and for other people 1s children as
well. They can especially help the boy in the development
of his skills and dexterities. They can deepen the security
of both boys and girls by the stability and comfort of their
presence. In adolescence, as in the oedipal period, the
presence of a father Is of particular importance to the
child*s growing personality. The child*s strivings towards
independence can be markedly helped and understood by a warm
father person. With the adolescent MOne needs, as parent
and social worker alike, to respect him, to believe in his
fundamental need for and wish to be loved and loving, to
give him the belief in himself that living as a mature adult,
o
really *making the grad©,1 requires•"
Hence, keeping in mind the special influence of the
father person, we can read with Freud and Burlingham that :
1 Alice R. McCabe, ttMeeting the Emotional Heeds of
Our Children,lf Social Casework, 31:336, October, 1950.
2 ,Ibid. , ,p... ..33.8. - ■ — _
3
The educational task is completed in each par­
ticular respect when the child stands firm in its
newly acquired attitudes, without further need to
invoke the images of the people for whose sake this
reversal of all inner values has been undertaken.
It has then established within itself a moral
centre-conscience, super-ego-which contains the
values, commands and prohibitions which were
originally introduced into its life by the parents,
and which now regulates its further actions more
or less independently from within. The firmness
and strength, in some cases the inexorability of
these new moral powers in the child depend largely
on the strength and depth, and the general fate,
of the attachments which give rise to them.3
In dealing with foster children it is essential to recognize
that the 11 strength and depth’1 of these "attachments11 are
often very meagre and in many eases are of a negative
rather than a positive wholesome type. In view of this un­
fortunate fact it is well to realize that true child
welfare means more than just "the provision, for every such
child, of those things which his own home should have given
4
him." It would seem that really good foster home care
should provide the child with something more than the out­
ward lacks of his own home, it should enable him to meet
the outside world with confidence, to face personal problems
with calmness and from his unique experiences to build a
more solid foundation for a mature personality.
3 Anna Freud and Dorothy Burlingham, Infants Without
Families (New Yorks International University Press, 1944^),
p. 124.
4 United States Department of Labor, Children!s Bureau
Publication #216, The .ABC of ..Foster-Family Care for Children,
p. 2 .
In the foster home, as in the own home, the influence
of the mother is primary. Margaret Mead even tells us that
’’Most of what is good in children and most of what is bad
are due to their mothers, because the mothers bring them up,
m5
and the fathers do not.” In spite of periodic attempts to
prove otherwise throughout the eenturies children do need to
have individual affectionate care especially during their
early years* In ancient Sparta children were left in their
mothers’ care until the age of seven. In the fifteenth
century Emperor Frederick the Second conducted a famous
experiment.
He gave a number of new-born, homeless babies to
nurses with the order to give them all necessary
care in regard to feeding, bathing, diapering,
warmth and physical protection but never to speak
to them or in their presence to show any signs of
affection. But the infants all died at an early
age. It was said that ’’they could not live without
the appreciation, the facial expression and friendly
gestures and loving care of their nurses.®
In recent years the problems of evacuating children and of
bringing up those left homeless by war have served to
increase our awareness of the emotional nee<?Ls of such
® Margaret Mead, ’’What is Happening to the American
Family?” 1947 National Conference of Social Work, (New York
Columbia University Press, 1948), p. 70.
6 Laurette Bender, M.D., ’’There Is No Substitute for
Family Life,” pamphlet, reprinted for the Federal Security
Agency, Social Security Administration, United States Census
Bureau, from Child Study, Spring, 1946.
5
children and to further emphasize their fundamental right
to a stable affectionate upbringing*
For the youngest infant (new-born) the stimulating
effect of mothering is essential for the survival of
the organism. From this experience must grow the
identification processes which enable the child to
utilize his Inborn capacities to identify himself with
other persons and their causes and problems, to relate
himself to others, to work with them, to give and
take. This is the source of the democratic way of
living* Also from this identification process comes
the capacity to have understanding and judgment of
situations and concepts, the difference between right
and wrong, social aims, the value of the individual,
the social concept of time which involves learning
from the past and living into the future, and the
capacity for symbolic self-expression which is the
basis of all higher learning, art, culture and
science.^
However, Dr. Bender goes on to point out that often
ftChildren who have had no early mothering experience for
one or two or three years are not able to accept the experi-
ii 8
ence when it is offered to them.” This is one of the major
problems which makes the placement of foster children so
difficult. But it is perhaps also one of the areas where
foster homes without fathers may prove to be most helpful.
For the pre-school child whose earliest years have been
emotionally unrewarding, the special care and individual
attention which the foster mother can give may be the sal­
vation for a personality otherwise permanently malnourished.
? Bender, loc. cit.
8 Loc. cit.
The fact that the single woman or widow may he able to give
such attention unhampered by sharing with her husband augers
well for the emotional needs of the child* It has, of
course, its dangers too, in that such a foster mother may
smother the child or use the placement to satiate her own
previously unmet needs*
For. placement of the new-born child the widow or
single woman is most frequently used. Again the time and
care unhampered by duties found in the ”complete” foster
home, appears to hold a particular advantage for the foster
child. In the records of the Children’s Bureau of Los
Angeles used for this thesis there was found one widow who
in the course of six years has cared for a total of twenty-
three infants, all under one year of age when placed.
For the child or group of siblings who have a strong
attachment to one or both parents, a fatherless foster home
may prove desirable. It is difficult and confusing enough
for the child to be physically moved, but to be expected at
the same time to accept substitute parents is often more
than many previously well adjusted youngsters can bear. If
:the new foster home consists only of ”Aunt Mary” the child
can be spared feelings of conflict and guilt about forming
new parental relationships. We must not forget that foster
home care should be something more than merely providing